Working with my new employer (Don't want to risk naming them here!) is serving to be a rich learning experience. As a matter of fact, I am learning a lot of stuff that I can use whenever I start my own Consulting Firm. To be a bit more honest - I'm learning a lot-of-stuff-that-one-should-never-do-in-an-organization.
One of the Key things is "Cost Cutting". Ofcourse, I understand cutting costs means increased profits and happier investors and thereby greater stock appreciation and all this finally leads to a richer you! But, cost cutting too has its limits.
Let me take a moment here to list out the 10 most absurd cost cutting measures that I have seen here:
(1) Coffee Vending machines on most floors don't work - Mega Electricity Savings!
(2) On the floors that the coffee machines work, they don't provide mugs - Mega Pantry Expenses Savings!
(3) Toilets are seldom cleaned. This makes employees abstain from using them - Water Bill Savings!
(4) 1 Refill pack of Liquid Soap can be used to fill up 11 liquid soap dispensers - provided you use water to compensate for the remaining 11 parts. If you're lucky - the colloidal solution that forms therewith will still smell of + have the same color of the original Liquid soap. Justification => "After all - You're hands won't smell all that bad after taking a potty/leak... Ergo, you don't need concentrated Liquid Soap extract!" Mega Toiletries Savings!
(5) Computers left on for more than 6 hours at a stretch will OVERHEAT and will switch off (read as THE COMPUTER DIES IN FRONT OF YOU!). Electricity Bill Savings!
(6) Printers, Photocopiers and Fax Machine never have paper in them. In the rarest of scenarios that there is paper inside them - they'll be out of Ink! Stationery and Electricity Bill Savings!
(7) Working in the morning shift (6 AM - 3 PM) entails you to a free breakfast. To get this free breakfast - you need to walk 1.5 kms to the nearest building, because, that is the ONLY place where the Free-Breakfast-Serving-Canteen is served. Most sensible employees would rather starve than walk 3 kms at 7 AM, and that too - on an empty stomach. Mega Savings in Catering Expenses!
(8) Toilets don't have toilet papers. Nor tissues for that matter. Mega Toiletries Savings!
(9) Company doesn't pay for car parking facilities inside the building premises. Logic - "If you have a car, you pay for the car parking. Why should we pay for you to park your car safely?" Mega Operational Expenses Savings!
(10) (This one takes the cake!) Note Pads/Scribble Pads are issued, but, Pencils/Pens are not issued. Ergo, the Scribble pads are left untouched. Yet another Stationery Related Savings!
And to think that when Oracle cut down on supplies of biscuits and soft drinks (free for employees) - I made a hue and cry about the whole issue, even to the extent of complaining to our HR representatives as well as Senior Managers that it was the "CHEAPEST" thing a company of Oracle's stature could ever do!
My Dearest Oracle .... I beg thy forgiveness!!!
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2 comments:
lol, i guess all of us have witnessed some cost cutting measures over the last cpl of years. Lil off the topic, over here they provide entertainment for ppl stayin in the night shifts.. rats :), the one that visits my desk is called 'ramu'
That is frigging scary ... not to mention a pure health hazzard!
But, just to let you know, during my days at Diapro [;)] I saw a rat coming out of the kitchen all soaked and wet ... To this day I think it feel into the Rasam tray and the caterers "rescued" it!
After that incident - I never had anything liquid from Diapro canteen.
So my friend - you're waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay better off than me!
:)
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