Thursday, October 7, 2010
The Secret To Super Duper Success
I think I've finally figured it out. The 3 elements to success, money, power and hot women !
Talent + Hardwork(ers) + Marketing
Friday, August 6, 2010
Pepper Chicken - The Recipe
Ingredients
Chicken Breast - 1 pound
Finely Chopped Onion - 2
Crushed Garlic & Garlic - 1 Teaspoon each
Pepper (crushed tastes better, but powder will do) - 2 Tblspoon
Salt & Oil - As needed
Preparation
Heat some oil in a pressure cooker. Add the finely chopped onions, pepper, salt, crushed ginger and garlic into the cooker and stir till onion starts turning brown. Add the chicken breast (cut to small pieces) into the cooker.
* If you want a dry side dish - No need to add any water as chicken breast contains the requisite water.
* If you want a gravy like dish - Add 1 cup water to the mixture.
Close cooker lid, put the weight on and cook on a medium flame.
(4 whistles or 16 mins - whichever is sooner - is my preferred estimation metric)
Transfer contents from the cooker onto an open stove and continue cooking, on a low flame, the contents till desired dryness/consistency is achieved.
Add additional salt, pepper, oil, water to the dish as deem fit
Garnish with Coriander leaves.
Note: Tastes best with white bread, chappati or rice & yogurt.
Monday, February 1, 2010
DIFFERENT CULTURES
For the American everything is about business, nothing can distract him. The Canadian being to his own world and lost in his own thoughts. The Italian and French.......... just staring at her ass !!!
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Sunday, January 10, 2010
The Hitler's Of My NITC Life
I was talking to one of my college junior's Annie today, and somehow the topic of our college's "Hitler" professors came up. I'm going to take this opportunity to list out a few, who according to me screwed my happiness big time back during those days, in their order of appearance in my life!
Sara Lisa David
My chemistry professor in my first year. And boy was she a bitch! The only two things she was very fond off was - flunking me in all my chemistry sessionals, and two - getting knocked up. In my 4 yrs there at college - I remember she got knocked up twice! The remaining two years - well, she was in the process of getting knocked up!
What I find ironic now is, she was the LH warden, and as a result - was responsible for moral policing in campus and was a pain-in-the-ass for all those "couples" who wanted to get "naughty". Oxymoron anyone???
Vijayan Nair
Our mechanics professor in my first year. The poor guy is no longer with us. But, he had it coming to him - being the chain smoker and big time drinker he was - I'm sure he saw it too! This fellow, although he flunked me in a few of my sessional papers - unlike Sara Lisa - he never did it cause he was having mood swings. He flunked me cause I sucked at mechanics! :D
And how can I ever forget those lovely "Simple Mechanics" sessions where he demonstrated simple mechanisms in class [ I still remember the whole thing in vivid detail - him standing on the dias and looking at the only girl student in our class and goes like "Ritu! (Zip .... Unzip ... Zip ... Unzip ... Zip ... Unzip) Now this is what is called simple mechanisms! He He He He He! ] and all those rumours of similar stories/quotes from our senior batches!
[ My two favorites being "Makkallae ... Eee poorr innu parayunna saadhannamm kaanann atthraekku bhanggi onnumm illa!" and the one being "I once caught my daughter watching a porn movie with a banana in her hand ... I wonder what she was doing! (wink) ]
On the whole, I never disliked the guy. but I was not excesively fond of him either. But, yes, I do confess - I was shit scared of him!
Gulaam Jilani
A total cartoon character. Famous for being the one professor who had a 90% for his BTech. And he always kept telling us about that too!
But, it's only when we got to my 3rd year that I heard the actual story. That his 4 year BTech course took him in 9 years to complete - cause he would walk out of the exam hall each time he saw that the question paper was tough and that he couldn't score more than 90% in it!
Duh! If I had that luxury - I'd score 100% dumbass !!!
I had to bear with him for 2 semesters, S1 and S6. In S1 - he took computer programming. Needless to say, he didn't know crap of what he was teaching. Couple that with his totally cartoony way of taking class - and all I used to go to class for was a laughs. It was, to say the least, like one of the Jeff Dunham shows! But, thankfully, since I was very interested in Computer Programming at that time, I managed to learn it by myself (with some help ofcourse from the Pro's in Comp Sci) and was able to score reasonably well in it!
In S6 - he too some course related heat flows (I cant remember the exact name of the course though) I thought I did extremely well in the end exams (btw - I got good scores in my sessionals for that paper), but when the results came, I was pretty much a border pass. When I asked him about the same, he said - you're answers must've been wrong - and that's why.
I confess, all my liking for this relatively harmless fellow, ended there!
Jose Kaakasery
In my 8 semesters at college - this is the one jerk of a professor I have to use the word HATE to describe my emotions for him. He was one sick Son Of A Bitch to say the least. I mean like seriously ... Lighting strikes down coconut trees all the time - Why doesn't it strike this fellow ... Atleast it should burn his goddamn beard down!
(Btw - I've always had a big desire to burn his god-awfully-white beard ... One of these days when I go back to college, I might even do that! Kaakasery ... Patti ... nee sookshicho da ... nindae thaadi'ku njann thee vekkumm edda !!!)
Anyways ... Why do I hate him? Well - plenty actually. First of all - he was a pain in the ass professor, who had this rule of taking attendance as soon as he came to class, and for anyone who came to class after that - one: there wouldnt be any attendance, and two: he'd screw their happiness royally not just for the rest of the class, but for the rest of the semester. Unfortunately, for me i.e., I missed 5 of his classes in a sem (I have a problem getting up early, and most of this creeps classes were the first session of the day!) and when I spoke to him abt it - cause I didnt want to run into attendance shortage issues - he said, I dont care if you get dropped out of college for attendance shortage issues - but if you were absent - you were absent and you deserve it!
You need to understand - that bunking classes was second nature to me, and obviously, attendance shortage, being its close cousin - would follow. But, thanks to my happy-go-lucky nature and that the fact that most of the professors in my department were cool, everyone would give me the requisite 80% attendance so that I could write my end sem exams. Except ofcourse for this sick son of a bitch!
Anyways ... The story doesn't end there. When he asked me why I used to be late, I told him "Sir, I sleep very late and because of that, I find it very difficult to get up early. And even when I do, I find it difficult to keep myself awake, and I don't think it wouldn't be right for me to be all sleepy and drowsy in your class. And since you're session is the 1st hour on most days, I struggle to make it there!"
(And mind you, even though I found it difficult to wake up early in the morning to attend the first lecture - whenever I knew it was this creeps class at 8.00 am the next day, I would do everything possible to make it there on time. But, yeah - I still did end up missing a few of them ... Mind you - only a HANDFUL that too. And for that - he was screwing my happiness)
And guess what this jerk interpreted my confession as (I know this cause he told me this a couple of months down the road, which I'll talk about in a sec) - "You're class is too darn boring old man! I'd rather sleep at home than come to ur class and sleep, and that's why I prefer to bunk your class!"
I mean - how stupid can you be. If you don't understand english - go take a frigging course!
Anyways ... Why am I so darn aggravated. Let me explain ... Because of his interpretation above, he was obviously pissed. Thanks to that - whenever I was in class - he would screw my happiness. But, I was okay with that - cause he screwed a lot of other people's happiness too (I wonder what all those people must have harmlessly confessed about which this fool misinterpreted!)
But the kicker was - when the end sem results came, he had flunked me in his paper by just 1 mark. I personally went to meet him to plead him to give me that 1 mark so that I can clear that exam. It is at that time, he told "Remember you told me this 3 months back ... Well ... Orru teacher innoddu angannae paranjaall - paper dhae ingannae irrikkum!" (I will never ever forget those words in my life ... EVER!)
And I spent the next 30 mins trying to tell him, "Sir! I never meant anything like that ... You read it all wrong ... This is what I meant in reality ... etc ... etc ... etc!"
All that said, he didnt budge from his decision and said "Itthu thanniku orru paadamm aayirikattae!" (Another set of words that I will never ever forget!)
Sick motherfucking egoistic bastard!
Anyways ... How did I resolve this dilemma. When the time came to write my supple papers (arrears/back - whatever lingo you wanna call it) - I personally went to his house a couple of days before the exam and apologized to him for my behavior so far, and confessed that I've been a jerk and that he was right in what he said, and that he was a father figure to me and I hoped more people were like him and had helped me in my life in realizing that I was following a wrong path, and if they did I wouldnt be where I was now, I would've changed for the better sooner and I completely agreed that the college was filled with goons and jerks and morally degraded guys who only wanted to get into ladies pants and didnt respect their professors and didnt stand up and salute them each time they saw one and that they should be shot for that, and that they were surely going to hell for all this bad western influence ...
Yeah ... I know what you're thinking ... I did a whole lot of shitty drama !!!
But, hey, it worked out well. That exam - when the results came out (he was the one who evaluated it!) I got 86/100.
After that incident, thankfully, I never had to attend his classes - as we didnt have any more papers taken by that prick!
And to this day - I hate him for that unfair thing he did to me ...
Ramaraju
He was this relatively harmless professor, who sometimes got all irritating and vengeful. But, another one of those "if-you-know-how-to-handle-him-your-safe" kindda professors. My technique for success with this fellow - act stupid, listen to his boring gyaan sessions on life and culture and religion and nod to everything he says, keep listening to his jibes about how stupid I was and smile along with him whenever he does that - and I was all safe and sound!
(In other words - he would pass me in his exams, and honestly, that's all I ever cared about when I was in college ... Passing in my exams with a 60% + score so that I got a good job in some company somewhere ... As simple as that!)
I still remember this funny incident where he was conducting viva, and the first question he would ask you was "which city are you from?" and this would be followed up with "what does your dad do?" only after which he would ask you the viva questions.
In my case "Cochin" was the answer to the first one, and since Cochin was a relatively posh city (definitely the poshest and most expensive city in Kerala) he would assume you are from a well to do family, and therefore that you are a spoilt brat that needs to be punished. This is why the second question "what does your dad do?" which is to kindda ascertain for sure that you deserve the butchering you are going to get in a second.
Ofcourse, I didn't realize that. when he asked me what my dad did - I said "business man" and ofcourse that kindda did it for me. He raped me royally for the next 15 mins - during which my only answers were "Sir ... something easier than this sir ... please ... " to which he would snicker and laugh and throw insults/jibes at me ... But - again - my mantra (act stupid ... keep smiling ... play along!) helped me secure passing grades in the viva too. So, I don't hate him.
Another one of my batchmates, Sam CP, kindda figured why Ramaraju was asking the "where are you from" and "what does your dad do" question and decided to try another trick. He went in and answered "Cochin" to the first one. Ofcourse, Ramaraju was like "Another Cochi'ite ... I'm going to butcher this one too!" ... But, to the next question - "what does your father do?" - Sam tactfully said, "Sir, Watchman sir!" ... Ramaraju was taken off guard here. I mean - no one expects a watchman's kid to be able to afford my college fees, leave alone make it to an NITC, and that too live in Cochin! And as luck would have it - he asks Sam "Oh ... Who else is there in your family?" Sam decides to push the envelope and says "Sir ... 3 sisters and me! I'm the youngest ... And my father is dying trying to get them married off ... I am the pillar of support for the family ... and once I get a job - hopefully I will be able to get them married off!" and that's it ... Ramaraju couldn't take it anymore. He said "You take care Sam ... Study hard ... Everything will turn out well son!" and with a pat on his shoulder - he asked him to send the next guy standing outside in ... Sam was like "Sir, Viva?" ... And Ramaraju was like "You don't worry about it Sam ... You have better things to think about! I'll make sure you get good grades in my paper!"
With this - Sam's viva was over ... And if I remember right - he had pretty much the highest score in the Viva that was conducted.
Sam CP you sly bastard ... Hats off to you!
:)
(Now, when I think back, I wish I had told him my dad was a farmer or something ... I could've used those extra marks you know!)
:D
TS John
One nutcase professor, who became an overnight hit amongst students not because of his knowledge or prowess, but apparently for his lack of them. And did I mention that he has some very famous memorabilia worthy punchline dialogues too. I'm taking the liberty of listing out a few really cool ones:
.1. (Very angry at the class for being all talkative and noisy during one of his lecture) "What the hell ... I am TS John!"
.2. (In a lecture about 3-D spacial design) "Imagine a plane" ... (pauses for a sec) The whole class is now imagining XYZ plane ... "An aeroplane!" (he he he he)
[Whole class breaks out in laughter ... TS John thinking - ha ha ha ha ... I'm so funny ... Rest of the class thinking - ha ha ha ha ... This fellow just confirmed that he is indeed super darn stupid! What a numbskull looser!]
Kaala Prabhakaran Nair
Our Mechanics department HOD. I never had to take any of his classes, but the couple of times I met him - he came across as a sinister, cold, mean, and sarcastic jerk. But, hey, for all you know he was one too [ Atleast thats what 50% of my batchmates who took elective papers which were taken by him say. The remaining 50% said worse stuff - that is unfit for this blog! :D ]
But, like I said, my interactions with him were very limited, and so, I dont have any bones to pick with him.
Hostel Office Manager
I cant even remember his name. But he was this short, ugly, balding guy with bad teeth who had a seriously huge ego, touchy pride.
Easily one of the most corrupt guys on campus (how else can you explain all the teakwood trees going missing from campus and also the mangoes and coconuts mysteriously disappearing every month)
But, yeah, if you knew how to handle him, it was easy to be in his good books - and trust me when I say that it helped a lot if you weren't in the his path.
As the old saying goes - "It is better to be the right hand of the devil than to be in his path!"
Besides these people - I can't think off anyone else I had issues with during my college life.
Another one of these days, I'll write about all those sweetheart like professors who made my college life something to remember and smile about. All I can say right now about them is - "You guys rock! Thanks for everything!"
Sara Lisa David
My chemistry professor in my first year. And boy was she a bitch! The only two things she was very fond off was - flunking me in all my chemistry sessionals, and two - getting knocked up. In my 4 yrs there at college - I remember she got knocked up twice! The remaining two years - well, she was in the process of getting knocked up!
What I find ironic now is, she was the LH warden, and as a result - was responsible for moral policing in campus and was a pain-in-the-ass for all those "couples" who wanted to get "naughty". Oxymoron anyone???
Vijayan Nair
Our mechanics professor in my first year. The poor guy is no longer with us. But, he had it coming to him - being the chain smoker and big time drinker he was - I'm sure he saw it too! This fellow, although he flunked me in a few of my sessional papers - unlike Sara Lisa - he never did it cause he was having mood swings. He flunked me cause I sucked at mechanics! :D
And how can I ever forget those lovely "Simple Mechanics" sessions where he demonstrated simple mechanisms in class [ I still remember the whole thing in vivid detail - him standing on the dias and looking at the only girl student in our class and goes like "Ritu! (Zip .... Unzip ... Zip ... Unzip ... Zip ... Unzip) Now this is what is called simple mechanisms! He He He He He! ] and all those rumours of similar stories/quotes from our senior batches!
[ My two favorites being "Makkallae ... Eee poorr innu parayunna saadhannamm kaanann atthraekku bhanggi onnumm illa!" and the one being "I once caught my daughter watching a porn movie with a banana in her hand ... I wonder what she was doing! (wink) ]
On the whole, I never disliked the guy. but I was not excesively fond of him either. But, yes, I do confess - I was shit scared of him!
Gulaam Jilani
A total cartoon character. Famous for being the one professor who had a 90% for his BTech. And he always kept telling us about that too!
But, it's only when we got to my 3rd year that I heard the actual story. That his 4 year BTech course took him in 9 years to complete - cause he would walk out of the exam hall each time he saw that the question paper was tough and that he couldn't score more than 90% in it!
Duh! If I had that luxury - I'd score 100% dumbass !!!
I had to bear with him for 2 semesters, S1 and S6. In S1 - he took computer programming. Needless to say, he didn't know crap of what he was teaching. Couple that with his totally cartoony way of taking class - and all I used to go to class for was a laughs. It was, to say the least, like one of the Jeff Dunham shows! But, thankfully, since I was very interested in Computer Programming at that time, I managed to learn it by myself (with some help ofcourse from the Pro's in Comp Sci) and was able to score reasonably well in it!
In S6 - he too some course related heat flows (I cant remember the exact name of the course though) I thought I did extremely well in the end exams (btw - I got good scores in my sessionals for that paper), but when the results came, I was pretty much a border pass. When I asked him about the same, he said - you're answers must've been wrong - and that's why.
I confess, all my liking for this relatively harmless fellow, ended there!
Jose Kaakasery
In my 8 semesters at college - this is the one jerk of a professor I have to use the word HATE to describe my emotions for him. He was one sick Son Of A Bitch to say the least. I mean like seriously ... Lighting strikes down coconut trees all the time - Why doesn't it strike this fellow ... Atleast it should burn his goddamn beard down!
(Btw - I've always had a big desire to burn his god-awfully-white beard ... One of these days when I go back to college, I might even do that! Kaakasery ... Patti ... nee sookshicho da ... nindae thaadi'ku njann thee vekkumm edda !!!)
Anyways ... Why do I hate him? Well - plenty actually. First of all - he was a pain in the ass professor, who had this rule of taking attendance as soon as he came to class, and for anyone who came to class after that - one: there wouldnt be any attendance, and two: he'd screw their happiness royally not just for the rest of the class, but for the rest of the semester. Unfortunately, for me i.e., I missed 5 of his classes in a sem (I have a problem getting up early, and most of this creeps classes were the first session of the day!) and when I spoke to him abt it - cause I didnt want to run into attendance shortage issues - he said, I dont care if you get dropped out of college for attendance shortage issues - but if you were absent - you were absent and you deserve it!
You need to understand - that bunking classes was second nature to me, and obviously, attendance shortage, being its close cousin - would follow. But, thanks to my happy-go-lucky nature and that the fact that most of the professors in my department were cool, everyone would give me the requisite 80% attendance so that I could write my end sem exams. Except ofcourse for this sick son of a bitch!
Anyways ... The story doesn't end there. When he asked me why I used to be late, I told him "Sir, I sleep very late and because of that, I find it very difficult to get up early. And even when I do, I find it difficult to keep myself awake, and I don't think it wouldn't be right for me to be all sleepy and drowsy in your class. And since you're session is the 1st hour on most days, I struggle to make it there!"
(And mind you, even though I found it difficult to wake up early in the morning to attend the first lecture - whenever I knew it was this creeps class at 8.00 am the next day, I would do everything possible to make it there on time. But, yeah - I still did end up missing a few of them ... Mind you - only a HANDFUL that too. And for that - he was screwing my happiness)
And guess what this jerk interpreted my confession as (I know this cause he told me this a couple of months down the road, which I'll talk about in a sec) - "You're class is too darn boring old man! I'd rather sleep at home than come to ur class and sleep, and that's why I prefer to bunk your class!"
I mean - how stupid can you be. If you don't understand english - go take a frigging course!
Anyways ... Why am I so darn aggravated. Let me explain ... Because of his interpretation above, he was obviously pissed. Thanks to that - whenever I was in class - he would screw my happiness. But, I was okay with that - cause he screwed a lot of other people's happiness too (I wonder what all those people must have harmlessly confessed about which this fool misinterpreted!)
But the kicker was - when the end sem results came, he had flunked me in his paper by just 1 mark. I personally went to meet him to plead him to give me that 1 mark so that I can clear that exam. It is at that time, he told "Remember you told me this 3 months back ... Well ... Orru teacher innoddu angannae paranjaall - paper dhae ingannae irrikkum!" (I will never ever forget those words in my life ... EVER!)
And I spent the next 30 mins trying to tell him, "Sir! I never meant anything like that ... You read it all wrong ... This is what I meant in reality ... etc ... etc ... etc!"
All that said, he didnt budge from his decision and said "Itthu thanniku orru paadamm aayirikattae!" (Another set of words that I will never ever forget!)
Sick motherfucking egoistic bastard!
Anyways ... How did I resolve this dilemma. When the time came to write my supple papers (arrears/back - whatever lingo you wanna call it) - I personally went to his house a couple of days before the exam and apologized to him for my behavior so far, and confessed that I've been a jerk and that he was right in what he said, and that he was a father figure to me and I hoped more people were like him and had helped me in my life in realizing that I was following a wrong path, and if they did I wouldnt be where I was now, I would've changed for the better sooner and I completely agreed that the college was filled with goons and jerks and morally degraded guys who only wanted to get into ladies pants and didnt respect their professors and didnt stand up and salute them each time they saw one and that they should be shot for that, and that they were surely going to hell for all this bad western influence ...
Yeah ... I know what you're thinking ... I did a whole lot of shitty drama !!!
But, hey, it worked out well. That exam - when the results came out (he was the one who evaluated it!) I got 86/100.
After that incident, thankfully, I never had to attend his classes - as we didnt have any more papers taken by that prick!
And to this day - I hate him for that unfair thing he did to me ...
Ramaraju
He was this relatively harmless professor, who sometimes got all irritating and vengeful. But, another one of those "if-you-know-how-to-handle-him-your-safe" kindda professors. My technique for success with this fellow - act stupid, listen to his boring gyaan sessions on life and culture and religion and nod to everything he says, keep listening to his jibes about how stupid I was and smile along with him whenever he does that - and I was all safe and sound!
(In other words - he would pass me in his exams, and honestly, that's all I ever cared about when I was in college ... Passing in my exams with a 60% + score so that I got a good job in some company somewhere ... As simple as that!)
I still remember this funny incident where he was conducting viva, and the first question he would ask you was "which city are you from?" and this would be followed up with "what does your dad do?" only after which he would ask you the viva questions.
In my case "Cochin" was the answer to the first one, and since Cochin was a relatively posh city (definitely the poshest and most expensive city in Kerala) he would assume you are from a well to do family, and therefore that you are a spoilt brat that needs to be punished. This is why the second question "what does your dad do?" which is to kindda ascertain for sure that you deserve the butchering you are going to get in a second.
Ofcourse, I didn't realize that. when he asked me what my dad did - I said "business man" and ofcourse that kindda did it for me. He raped me royally for the next 15 mins - during which my only answers were "Sir ... something easier than this sir ... please ... " to which he would snicker and laugh and throw insults/jibes at me ... But - again - my mantra (act stupid ... keep smiling ... play along!) helped me secure passing grades in the viva too. So, I don't hate him.
Another one of my batchmates, Sam CP, kindda figured why Ramaraju was asking the "where are you from" and "what does your dad do" question and decided to try another trick. He went in and answered "Cochin" to the first one. Ofcourse, Ramaraju was like "Another Cochi'ite ... I'm going to butcher this one too!" ... But, to the next question - "what does your father do?" - Sam tactfully said, "Sir, Watchman sir!" ... Ramaraju was taken off guard here. I mean - no one expects a watchman's kid to be able to afford my college fees, leave alone make it to an NITC, and that too live in Cochin! And as luck would have it - he asks Sam "Oh ... Who else is there in your family?" Sam decides to push the envelope and says "Sir ... 3 sisters and me! I'm the youngest ... And my father is dying trying to get them married off ... I am the pillar of support for the family ... and once I get a job - hopefully I will be able to get them married off!" and that's it ... Ramaraju couldn't take it anymore. He said "You take care Sam ... Study hard ... Everything will turn out well son!" and with a pat on his shoulder - he asked him to send the next guy standing outside in ... Sam was like "Sir, Viva?" ... And Ramaraju was like "You don't worry about it Sam ... You have better things to think about! I'll make sure you get good grades in my paper!"
With this - Sam's viva was over ... And if I remember right - he had pretty much the highest score in the Viva that was conducted.
Sam CP you sly bastard ... Hats off to you!
:)
(Now, when I think back, I wish I had told him my dad was a farmer or something ... I could've used those extra marks you know!)
:D
TS John
One nutcase professor, who became an overnight hit amongst students not because of his knowledge or prowess, but apparently for his lack of them. And did I mention that he has some very famous memorabilia worthy punchline dialogues too. I'm taking the liberty of listing out a few really cool ones:
.1. (Very angry at the class for being all talkative and noisy during one of his lecture) "What the hell ... I am TS John!"
.2. (In a lecture about 3-D spacial design) "Imagine a plane" ... (pauses for a sec) The whole class is now imagining XYZ plane ... "An aeroplane!" (he he he he)
[Whole class breaks out in laughter ... TS John thinking - ha ha ha ha ... I'm so funny ... Rest of the class thinking - ha ha ha ha ... This fellow just confirmed that he is indeed super darn stupid! What a numbskull looser!]
Kaala Prabhakaran Nair
Our Mechanics department HOD. I never had to take any of his classes, but the couple of times I met him - he came across as a sinister, cold, mean, and sarcastic jerk. But, hey, for all you know he was one too [ Atleast thats what 50% of my batchmates who took elective papers which were taken by him say. The remaining 50% said worse stuff - that is unfit for this blog! :D ]
But, like I said, my interactions with him were very limited, and so, I dont have any bones to pick with him.
Hostel Office Manager
I cant even remember his name. But he was this short, ugly, balding guy with bad teeth who had a seriously huge ego, touchy pride.
Easily one of the most corrupt guys on campus (how else can you explain all the teakwood trees going missing from campus and also the mangoes and coconuts mysteriously disappearing every month)
But, yeah, if you knew how to handle him, it was easy to be in his good books - and trust me when I say that it helped a lot if you weren't in the his path.
As the old saying goes - "It is better to be the right hand of the devil than to be in his path!"
Besides these people - I can't think off anyone else I had issues with during my college life.
Another one of these days, I'll write about all those sweetheart like professors who made my college life something to remember and smile about. All I can say right now about them is - "You guys rock! Thanks for everything!"
Tintumon Jokes Rocks
My brother sent me some really fun "Tintumon" jokes today.
Achan: Exam inu nee thottal ini enney achaa ennu vilikkendaaa….
Kurach divasam kazhinju…..
Achan: Enthayeda result???
Tintu mon:-Aliyaaa sorry daaa…..5 subject il potty machu!!
Teacher: Vaakyathil prayokikuka,”Kaattaana”
Tintumon:Njan kaatiloode nadakumbol oru puli odi vannu,njan enthu “kaattaana”??
Gulfil ninnu Maman:Ninaku entha vendath?
Tintumon:Mobile mathi mamaa
Snehathode maman:NOKIA mathiyo da kutta.?
Tintumon:
Nokiyal porada pattee, Vaanganam !
Tintumon ambalattil vazhipad counter Q vil..
Munnile uncle : shambhu, thiruvatira, paalppaayasam.
Tintumon: Hans, break dance, chickenbiriyani…!
If you want to read some more of the like - check it out here
Achan: Exam inu nee thottal ini enney achaa ennu vilikkendaaa….
Kurach divasam kazhinju…..
Achan: Enthayeda result???
Tintu mon:-Aliyaaa sorry daaa…..5 subject il potty machu!!
Teacher: Vaakyathil prayokikuka,”Kaattaana”
Tintumon:Njan kaatiloode nadakumbol oru puli odi vannu,njan enthu “kaattaana”??
Gulfil ninnu Maman:Ninaku entha vendath?
Tintumon:Mobile mathi mamaa
Snehathode maman:NOKIA mathiyo da kutta.?
Tintumon:
Nokiyal porada pattee, Vaanganam !
Tintumon ambalattil vazhipad counter Q vil..
Munnile uncle : shambhu, thiruvatira, paalppaayasam.
Tintumon: Hans, break dance, chickenbiriyani…!
If you want to read some more of the like - check it out here
An Awesome BMW Used Ad
This Is What I Call "Unbelievable Creativity" ... Whoever Is The Creator Of This - I Salute You Sir !!!
Sunday, January 3, 2010
In The Year Two Thousand Nine
I'm borrowing this template from a blogger I follow.
(People planning to follow the link above, treat this as an "Adult Content" advisory!)
1. What did you do that you’d never done before?
Flew to the USA. Yahooooooooooo !
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I can't remember making any New Year Resolution. This year's resolution is pretty simple - Loose Weight, Save Some Money and Master The Game!
;)
3. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
Happiness, Friends, Companionship, and hopefully, mastery over "The Game"
4. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory?
March 1 - Dropped my papers at TCS
Jun 29 - Got On The Flight To New York
Nov 21 - Nov 29 - Let's just call it my "Holiday In Goa!" week
5. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I hurt my ankle pretty bad, thanks to a game of Volleyball that I went to play. Was limping for 10 days, and it took me about 1.5 months for the pain to ebb away completely and for me to be able to run again.
6. What was the best thing you bought?
My GPS. Don't leave home without it.
7. Where did most of your money go?
Living expenses, paying off my education loan, a little bit of investing here and there, my first car and saving up for an MBA.
8. What did you get really, really excited about?
Flying to the USA on a project assignment ... Finally!!! I've been wanting to do that ever since I joined the IT industry (which started in Jun 2005). It finally came true in Jun 2009.
9. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder?
I don't think I am sad per se, but, I know for a fact that last year around this time - I was happier. Especially because I was surrounded by friends and family, whereas this year, I spent my new years sitting at home and watching "Santosh Subramaniam"
b) thinner or fatter?
Definitelly thinner. Last year this time of the year, I was working out 6 days a week - 2 hours a day. I was buff dadmmit! And this year - I weight 262.5 pounds and am lazy as a sloth and am eating loads of high calorie frozen food cause I'm too damn lazy to cook myself a meal!
c) richer or poorer?
Last year this time - I was around 400,000 INR away from being completely debt free, and this year I'm about 100,000 INR away.
So, yeah, I guess I'm richer this year!
(You gotta loooooooooooooove that USD -> INR conversion rate!)
10. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Hit the gym, socialize, work on my freelancing business.
11. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Procrastinate, Eat junk food.
12. How will you be spending new years?
2009 - I spent it at home.
2010 - (Target) Chilling at some exotic location with some exotic babe!
(Reality) Since I'll be going to India on vacation at that time, I think I'll be spending it with family.
13. Did you fall in love in 2009?
I think I did. But - as always - It didn't last too long though!
The chain of events in smiley flowchart diagram:
;) => :D => => B-) => >:) => :P => :(
14. How many one-night stands?
None. Dratz!
15. What was your favorite TV program?
Right now I'm hooked onto "The 70's Show". Finished watching Season 1 & 2. About to start watching Season 3 & 4.
16. What was the best book you read?
Didn't read too many books this year.
(Mental note to self - Need to do more of that this year!)
17. What did you want and get?
I always wanted to get myself a gun, and I got an air-pistol. Next step - once I get my NYC drivers licence - I wanna get myself a shotgun/hunting rifle. Next hunting season, I'm gonna kill me some deer!
18. What did you want and not get?
I wanted to buy myself a Hayabusa. With any luck, I'll buy one of em in 2010.
(Touchwood!)
19. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I was busy shopping and packing for my trip to the US. I just turned 25.
20. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
Since I was working as a trainer from Jan - March, I was introduced to the world of wearing a tie to work.
From April - Jul, my then employer, UST Global, required us to wear ties to work.
From Jul - Dec, since I was at the client location, I had to wear very nice clothes (no ties thankfully!)
So, in short, my fashion sense in 2009, was crisp, formal and all business.
21. What kept you sane?
The thought that tomorrow is going to be a better day than yesterday and today.
22. What political issue stirred you the most?
Obama's anti-H1B stance. It pissed the crap out of me!
23. Who was the best new person you met?
Brian Sparks - My roomie. Thanks to him, I've learnt how my car works, and also some quick-fixes that could save me some money in the future.
Audrey - A total sweetheart of a lady, who's been nothing but nice to me since I met her. God bless your soul babe!
24. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009.
"The person who has the upper hand in any relationship is the one that is least invested in it!"
I heard it in the movie "Ghosts of Girlfriends Past"
And trust me when I say - it's 101% true!
(People planning to follow the link above, treat this as an "Adult Content" advisory!)
1. What did you do that you’d never done before?
Flew to the USA. Yahooooooooooo !
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I can't remember making any New Year Resolution. This year's resolution is pretty simple - Loose Weight, Save Some Money and Master The Game!
;)
3. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
Happiness, Friends, Companionship, and hopefully, mastery over "The Game"
4. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory?
March 1 - Dropped my papers at TCS
Jun 29 - Got On The Flight To New York
Nov 21 - Nov 29 - Let's just call it my "Holiday In Goa!" week
5. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I hurt my ankle pretty bad, thanks to a game of Volleyball that I went to play. Was limping for 10 days, and it took me about 1.5 months for the pain to ebb away completely and for me to be able to run again.
6. What was the best thing you bought?
My GPS. Don't leave home without it.
7. Where did most of your money go?
Living expenses, paying off my education loan, a little bit of investing here and there, my first car and saving up for an MBA.
8. What did you get really, really excited about?
Flying to the USA on a project assignment ... Finally!!! I've been wanting to do that ever since I joined the IT industry (which started in Jun 2005). It finally came true in Jun 2009.
9. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder?
I don't think I am sad per se, but, I know for a fact that last year around this time - I was happier. Especially because I was surrounded by friends and family, whereas this year, I spent my new years sitting at home and watching "Santosh Subramaniam"
b) thinner or fatter?
Definitelly thinner. Last year this time of the year, I was working out 6 days a week - 2 hours a day. I was buff dadmmit! And this year - I weight 262.5 pounds and am lazy as a sloth and am eating loads of high calorie frozen food cause I'm too damn lazy to cook myself a meal!
c) richer or poorer?
Last year this time - I was around 400,000 INR away from being completely debt free, and this year I'm about 100,000 INR away.
So, yeah, I guess I'm richer this year!
(You gotta loooooooooooooove that USD -> INR conversion rate!)
10. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Hit the gym, socialize, work on my freelancing business.
11. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Procrastinate, Eat junk food.
12. How will you be spending new years?
2009 - I spent it at home.
2010 - (Target) Chilling at some exotic location with some exotic babe!
(Reality) Since I'll be going to India on vacation at that time, I think I'll be spending it with family.
13. Did you fall in love in 2009?
I think I did. But - as always - It didn't last too long though!
The chain of events in smiley flowchart diagram:
;) => :D => => B-) => >:) => :P => :(
14. How many one-night stands?
None. Dratz!
15. What was your favorite TV program?
Right now I'm hooked onto "The 70's Show". Finished watching Season 1 & 2. About to start watching Season 3 & 4.
16. What was the best book you read?
Didn't read too many books this year.
(Mental note to self - Need to do more of that this year!)
17. What did you want and get?
I always wanted to get myself a gun, and I got an air-pistol. Next step - once I get my NYC drivers licence - I wanna get myself a shotgun/hunting rifle. Next hunting season, I'm gonna kill me some deer!
18. What did you want and not get?
I wanted to buy myself a Hayabusa. With any luck, I'll buy one of em in 2010.
(Touchwood!)
19. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I was busy shopping and packing for my trip to the US. I just turned 25.
20. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
Since I was working as a trainer from Jan - March, I was introduced to the world of wearing a tie to work.
From April - Jul, my then employer, UST Global, required us to wear ties to work.
From Jul - Dec, since I was at the client location, I had to wear very nice clothes (no ties thankfully!)
So, in short, my fashion sense in 2009, was crisp, formal and all business.
21. What kept you sane?
The thought that tomorrow is going to be a better day than yesterday and today.
22. What political issue stirred you the most?
Obama's anti-H1B stance. It pissed the crap out of me!
23. Who was the best new person you met?
Brian Sparks - My roomie. Thanks to him, I've learnt how my car works, and also some quick-fixes that could save me some money in the future.
Audrey - A total sweetheart of a lady, who's been nothing but nice to me since I met her. God bless your soul babe!
24. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009.
"The person who has the upper hand in any relationship is the one that is least invested in it!"
I heard it in the movie "Ghosts of Girlfriends Past"
And trust me when I say - it's 101% true!
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Friday, January 1, 2010
Year 2009 - Month On Month
With just hours to go for the new year, it's time to look at the year 2009 in retrospection. For now - I'm gonna list out the highlight of each of the 12 months, one-by-one.
Jan - Started working as a Full-Time Trainer at TCS's ILP training facility at Trivandrum. I had a lot of fun there, and it is also when I realized that I can probably make a career out of being a technology trainer.
Feb - Put down my papers at TCS. Damn it - It was the happiest day of my life. I was even more happier than I was when I resigned from Wipro. I kid you not!
Mar - Joined UST Global. Little did I know what was waiting for me there. Just kidding, so far, everything has been good.
Apr - My first "official" stint as a "Team Leader". Faced a lot of challenges, but, it was fun tackling them as and when they popped up!
May - Read the "Art Of War" by "Sun Tzu" and dived into the world of Office Politics headfirst. Let's just say I had my reasons and the results were awesome.
Jun - Turned another year old (Quarter life crisis is hitting me pretty bad!), but, on the up side, I got on the plane to the good old USA 2 days later! You know what I bought with my first dollar? A bottle of Jack Daniels whisky! FYI - I still have it with me in my Fridge. ;-)
Jul - Living under the same room with an American room-mate. Lets just say it was very different from the roomie experiences I've had thus far!
Aug - Went on a trip to the "6 Flag" at Agawam, MA. I had loooooooooooads of fun. I wanna go back once again in summer and get on a couple of those rides I was too chicken to try last time. And this time, I'll make sure I go on an empty stomach so that I don't throw up!
(No I didn't throw up last time. But, some of the rides I "skipped" looked like it'd make me throw up for sure!)
Sep - Became really close and pally-pally with the sweetest and the most perfect couple I've ever seen in my life - Sapna and Mrigen. We 3 had a lovely time. Each evening was fun filled. Thank to Mrigen, I learnt a lot of fun and quick-fix receipes. Also, I was treated to a lot of "WoW!" inspiring dinners.
Oct - My tryst with white-water rafting - thanks to Manu dragging me along. Also, my tryst with tying up mufflers using metal clothes hangers! Also, my tryst with hitting a Strip Club and trying to pickup naked strippers
(FYI - I didn't have any luck with that though! Just lost all the money I took with me - aka $ 250)
[And all you people under 18 and all you prudes and back-stabbers - forget you ever read that last bit!]
Nov - Was gifted an XBox 360 by a total sweetheart friend of mine, and I haven't stopped playing on it since. Thanks babe ... You're the best! Muaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Dec - Some, ummmmmmmmm, lets just say "very unpleasant" things happened which led to some very special relationships blowing up in my face! But, I'd like to believe that anything and everything that happened, probably happened for the best. That's what I've always believed in, and I don't see why this should be any different!
What will my month-on-month board be like next year ... Hmmmmm ... Only time will tell.
I just hope it's nicer and more action packed and happiness filled than this year !!!
;-)
Jan - Started working as a Full-Time Trainer at TCS's ILP training facility at Trivandrum. I had a lot of fun there, and it is also when I realized that I can probably make a career out of being a technology trainer.
Feb - Put down my papers at TCS. Damn it - It was the happiest day of my life. I was even more happier than I was when I resigned from Wipro. I kid you not!
Mar - Joined UST Global. Little did I know what was waiting for me there. Just kidding, so far, everything has been good.
Apr - My first "official" stint as a "Team Leader". Faced a lot of challenges, but, it was fun tackling them as and when they popped up!
May - Read the "Art Of War" by "Sun Tzu" and dived into the world of Office Politics headfirst. Let's just say I had my reasons and the results were awesome.
Jun - Turned another year old (Quarter life crisis is hitting me pretty bad!), but, on the up side, I got on the plane to the good old USA 2 days later! You know what I bought with my first dollar? A bottle of Jack Daniels whisky! FYI - I still have it with me in my Fridge. ;-)
Jul - Living under the same room with an American room-mate. Lets just say it was very different from the roomie experiences I've had thus far!
Aug - Went on a trip to the "6 Flag" at Agawam, MA. I had loooooooooooads of fun. I wanna go back once again in summer and get on a couple of those rides I was too chicken to try last time. And this time, I'll make sure I go on an empty stomach so that I don't throw up!
(No I didn't throw up last time. But, some of the rides I "skipped" looked like it'd make me throw up for sure!)
Sep - Became really close and pally-pally with the sweetest and the most perfect couple I've ever seen in my life - Sapna and Mrigen. We 3 had a lovely time. Each evening was fun filled. Thank to Mrigen, I learnt a lot of fun and quick-fix receipes. Also, I was treated to a lot of "WoW!" inspiring dinners.
Oct - My tryst with white-water rafting - thanks to Manu dragging me along. Also, my tryst with tying up mufflers using metal clothes hangers! Also, my tryst with hitting a Strip Club and trying to pickup naked strippers
(FYI - I didn't have any luck with that though! Just lost all the money I took with me - aka $ 250)
[And all you people under 18 and all you prudes and back-stabbers - forget you ever read that last bit!]
Nov - Was gifted an XBox 360 by a total sweetheart friend of mine, and I haven't stopped playing on it since. Thanks babe ... You're the best! Muaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Dec - Some, ummmmmmmmm, lets just say "very unpleasant" things happened which led to some very special relationships blowing up in my face! But, I'd like to believe that anything and everything that happened, probably happened for the best. That's what I've always believed in, and I don't see why this should be any different!
What will my month-on-month board be like next year ... Hmmmmm ... Only time will tell.
I just hope it's nicer and more action packed and happiness filled than this year !!!
;-)
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
The Xmas Party
I accompanied one of my friend here for her office Xmas party on Saturday (19-Dec-09), and boy did I have a good time. Right from free food and drinks to making new friends to flirting with a lot of women that were there (all married and with kids though!) and even winning money off a gambling game they were playing!
(Ordinarily, I never gamble. But tonight - my friend paid for my entry into the game - "So I figured why not? Let's play!")
On the whole, I needed that party. It's been like at least 2 months since I went out for anything like that, and I realized I've missed that life.
So, one of my New year resolutions for 2010 is to go out and party more often!
And no, when I say party - I don't mean go out and get sloshed/drunk/wasted. I mean go out, meet new people, have a fun conversation, flirt a little (Ok! make that a lot!) drink responsibly, and at the end of the day - come back home smiling wider and feeling happier than when you left!
(Ordinarily, I never gamble. But tonight - my friend paid for my entry into the game - "So I figured why not? Let's play!")
On the whole, I needed that party. It's been like at least 2 months since I went out for anything like that, and I realized I've missed that life.
So, one of my New year resolutions for 2010 is to go out and party more often!
And no, when I say party - I don't mean go out and get sloshed/drunk/wasted. I mean go out, meet new people, have a fun conversation, flirt a little (Ok! make that a lot!) drink responsibly, and at the end of the day - come back home smiling wider and feeling happier than when you left!
Travel Travel Travel
It's been about 6 months since I migrated to the USA, and here is a list of the places I've been to:
.1. Altamont, NY (approx 25 miles away)
.2. Saratoga, NY (approx 30 miles away)
.3. Edison, NJ (approx 175 miles away)
.4. Syracuse, NY (approx 180 miles away)
.5. Indian Lake, NY (approx 100 miles away)
.6. New York City, NY (approx 200 miles away)
.7. New Brunswick, NJ (approx 190 miles away)
Trip 1 - I tagged along with my then room-mate.
Trip 2 - I tagged along with the sweetest couple I've ever met in my life Sapna and Mrigen.
(God bless you two critters!)
Trip 3 - I tagged along with my ex-boss at work for an office party. I met my organizations Senior VP and Chairman. I only have one word to describe those two gentlemen - "WOW!"
Trip 4 - I went over to meet my college buddy who's pursuing his MS. It was an nice trip. It was my first actual looooooooooong distance road-trip. A few realizations I had post that trip :: US has lovely roads, A 99 model Toyota Corolla gets extremely unstable at 105 mph, The US country is extremely beautiful and clean.
Trip 5 - I went along with my college junior for Rafting. It's a trip I wont forget in a hurry as my muffler bracket rusted and broke off on me stark in the middle of nowhere, and me and my buddy had to run around from person-to-person and store-to-store begging for metal wire and metal clothes hangers to tie the goddamn thing up so that we could get our arses out of there!
(Thanks a zillion to the old couple who lent us the metal wire we needed, and also a big thanks to Brian - my current roomie - for helping us out by telling us exactly what we need to do!)
Trip 6 - This was one of the most amazing trips I've ever taken in my life. It was totally unplanned (yes - I know someone out there is pointing their fingers at me and saying "yeah bitch! you have the lousiest planning skills ever!") but even then, it turned out great! Met some funtastic guys, ate some really tasty indian food, got a taste of how frigging busy and crazy NYC is (I'm never going to work there ... not for a million dollars ... wait - for a million dollars - I just might consider. But for anything less than that - my answer is a big emphatic no!) I really look forward to doing one more trip down to NYC one of these days!
Trip 7 - I went down to help a very good friend of mine hunt for their house, and basically settle down. Why - well - lets just say my friend is super lousy on the skills needed to do something like that, and without me they'd be lost! And oh yeah - I also met up with one of my buddies from school who I haven't seen in 10 years. And yes - two words for how she looks now - "Smoking Hot!"
So, yes, if you wanna look at it that way, you might say that I've been travelling quite a bit off late. But, in my defense, let's just call it the 'Tourist Effect' that every Indian dude who lands in the USA experiences - especially in his first couple of months of his stay in the states.
But, yes, this probably isn't the end of my traveling frenzy. There are a couple of other places that, off the top of my head, that I want to check out as well. I'll list the top 5 here:
.1. Las Vegas, NV
.2. Atlantic City, NJ
.3. Niagra Falls, Canada
.4. Dallas, TX
.5. Chicago, IL
.6. Saint Louis, MO
My Justification:
Spots 1, 2 and 3 - Popular Tourist Attractions
Spots 4, 5 and 6 - I have friends there that I wanna go visit
Well ... We'll see how things go on my traveling front. In case I go anywhere here, or anywhere else for that matter, I'll make sure you folks find out for sure!
.1. Altamont, NY (approx 25 miles away)
.2. Saratoga, NY (approx 30 miles away)
.3. Edison, NJ (approx 175 miles away)
.4. Syracuse, NY (approx 180 miles away)
.5. Indian Lake, NY (approx 100 miles away)
.6. New York City, NY (approx 200 miles away)
.7. New Brunswick, NJ (approx 190 miles away)
Trip 1 - I tagged along with my then room-mate.
Trip 2 - I tagged along with the sweetest couple I've ever met in my life Sapna and Mrigen.
(God bless you two critters!)
Trip 3 - I tagged along with my ex-boss at work for an office party. I met my organizations Senior VP and Chairman. I only have one word to describe those two gentlemen - "WOW!"
Trip 4 - I went over to meet my college buddy who's pursuing his MS. It was an nice trip. It was my first actual looooooooooong distance road-trip. A few realizations I had post that trip :: US has lovely roads, A 99 model Toyota Corolla gets extremely unstable at 105 mph, The US country is extremely beautiful and clean.
Trip 5 - I went along with my college junior for Rafting. It's a trip I wont forget in a hurry as my muffler bracket rusted and broke off on me stark in the middle of nowhere, and me and my buddy had to run around from person-to-person and store-to-store begging for metal wire and metal clothes hangers to tie the goddamn thing up so that we could get our arses out of there!
(Thanks a zillion to the old couple who lent us the metal wire we needed, and also a big thanks to Brian - my current roomie - for helping us out by telling us exactly what we need to do!)
Trip 6 - This was one of the most amazing trips I've ever taken in my life. It was totally unplanned (yes - I know someone out there is pointing their fingers at me and saying "yeah bitch! you have the lousiest planning skills ever!") but even then, it turned out great! Met some funtastic guys, ate some really tasty indian food, got a taste of how frigging busy and crazy NYC is (I'm never going to work there ... not for a million dollars ... wait - for a million dollars - I just might consider. But for anything less than that - my answer is a big emphatic no!) I really look forward to doing one more trip down to NYC one of these days!
Trip 7 - I went down to help a very good friend of mine hunt for their house, and basically settle down. Why - well - lets just say my friend is super lousy on the skills needed to do something like that, and without me they'd be lost! And oh yeah - I also met up with one of my buddies from school who I haven't seen in 10 years. And yes - two words for how she looks now - "Smoking Hot!"
So, yes, if you wanna look at it that way, you might say that I've been travelling quite a bit off late. But, in my defense, let's just call it the 'Tourist Effect' that every Indian dude who lands in the USA experiences - especially in his first couple of months of his stay in the states.
But, yes, this probably isn't the end of my traveling frenzy. There are a couple of other places that, off the top of my head, that I want to check out as well. I'll list the top 5 here:
.1. Las Vegas, NV
.2. Atlantic City, NJ
.3. Niagra Falls, Canada
.4. Dallas, TX
.5. Chicago, IL
.6. Saint Louis, MO
My Justification:
Spots 1, 2 and 3 - Popular Tourist Attractions
Spots 4, 5 and 6 - I have friends there that I wanna go visit
Well ... We'll see how things go on my traveling front. In case I go anywhere here, or anywhere else for that matter, I'll make sure you folks find out for sure!
Men Are From Mars And Women Are From Venus
This is a forward I received a couple of weeks back. I found it very demonstrative of how men are different from women. So, here it is. Enjoy Maddi !!!
Dear Pete,
I hope you can help me. The other day, I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching TV.
My car started stalling and then it broke down about a mile down the road and I had to walk back to get my husband's help. When I got home, I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in our bedroom with the neighbour's daughter!
I am 32, my husband is 34, and the neighbour's daughter is 19. We have been married for ten years. When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted that they had been having an affair for the past six months.
He won't go to counselling and I'm afraid I am a wreck and need advice urgently. Can you please help?
Sincerely,
Sheila
Dear Sheila:
A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine.
Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the injectors.
I hope this helps,
Pete.
Dear Pete,
I hope you can help me. The other day, I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching TV.
My car started stalling and then it broke down about a mile down the road and I had to walk back to get my husband's help. When I got home, I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in our bedroom with the neighbour's daughter!
I am 32, my husband is 34, and the neighbour's daughter is 19. We have been married for ten years. When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted that they had been having an affair for the past six months.
He won't go to counselling and I'm afraid I am a wreck and need advice urgently. Can you please help?
Sincerely,
Sheila
Dear Sheila:
A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine.
Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the injectors.
I hope this helps,
Pete.
The American Taxation System - There's No Fighting It
Back in India, even if you are in a 12 lak per annum pay package - you can still manage to pay something under 40,000 INR as tax.
Here in the USA - there is no way your getting off that easy. The taxation system is so damn unfair.
The last 2 pay cycles - I've been taxed at 35% flat. I mean - I look at my payslip and the only thing I want to do is cry !
Right at the top you see some number under the head Nett Income
(trust me when I say - its not even "market" standards. But, in this economy - I'm lucky to have a job even!)
Immediately below that under the head federal taxes - they take out a sizeable chunk.
Immediately below that - the head State tax takes out a smaller but still a sizeable chunk.
Immediately below that - Social Security takes out an equally large bite.
Immediately below that - Medical Care takes another sizeable chunk.
Immediately below that - City Tax takes a small but noticeable bite of the meal.
End of the day - I end up with nearly half of my salary taken away under the name of some tax or the other.
I think I'm going to go drink my depression away ... What else can I do !!!
Booooooooooo hooooooooooo ... I want my Mommmmmmmmmmmmmmyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy !!!
Here in the USA - there is no way your getting off that easy. The taxation system is so damn unfair.
The last 2 pay cycles - I've been taxed at 35% flat. I mean - I look at my payslip and the only thing I want to do is cry !
Right at the top you see some number under the head Nett Income
(trust me when I say - its not even "market" standards. But, in this economy - I'm lucky to have a job even!)
Immediately below that under the head federal taxes - they take out a sizeable chunk.
Immediately below that - the head State tax takes out a smaller but still a sizeable chunk.
Immediately below that - Social Security takes out an equally large bite.
Immediately below that - Medical Care takes another sizeable chunk.
Immediately below that - City Tax takes a small but noticeable bite of the meal.
End of the day - I end up with nearly half of my salary taken away under the name of some tax or the other.
I think I'm going to go drink my depression away ... What else can I do !!!
Booooooooooo hooooooooooo ... I want my Mommmmmmmmmmmmmmyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy !!!
Medical Expenses In The USA Is More Expensive Than A Divorce
I thought medical insurance in the USA was crazily overpriced. Well guess what - medicines are even more overpriced!
The last couple of days, I've been having these flu like symptoms and thanks to that - I had to hit this popular pharmacy store - CVS Pharmacy. This is what I found:
A bottle of Vicks Vaporub which would cost 55 INR (Approx 1.15 USD) costs 7.49 USD here.
A bottle of Cough Syrup which costs 60 INR (Approx 1.2 USD) costs 5.65 USD here.
An nebulization pill costs 10 INR (approx 10 cents) costs 3.75 USD here.
At the end of the day - I am around 18 USD poorer and I am no where near to feeling better.
From the looks of it - I am going to be paying many more such 18 USD visits to the CVS store in the upcoming weeks.
The last couple of days, I've been having these flu like symptoms and thanks to that - I had to hit this popular pharmacy store - CVS Pharmacy. This is what I found:
A bottle of Vicks Vaporub which would cost 55 INR (Approx 1.15 USD) costs 7.49 USD here.
A bottle of Cough Syrup which costs 60 INR (Approx 1.2 USD) costs 5.65 USD here.
An nebulization pill costs 10 INR (approx 10 cents) costs 3.75 USD here.
At the end of the day - I am around 18 USD poorer and I am no where near to feeling better.
From the looks of it - I am going to be paying many more such 18 USD visits to the CVS store in the upcoming weeks.
Difference Between The USA and India
It's been about 6 month since I left India. And the funny part is - I only realized it when my mom mentioned it when I called her up for something the other day.
Time does fly doesn't it - Especially when you're trying to adjust to a completely new city and culture 8000 miles far away from the place you called home for the last 25 years.
But, justice be done - I wouldn't say things are a lot different out here. Neither would I say - I've had to change my habits a lot to adapt to the new place!
But, yes - there are many a differences in the culture, the people, their habbits, etc. For example:
.1. People here are very self indulgent and fiercly independent. Initially, it might come off as them being selfish and spoilt, but in reality it isn't so. It's just the way everyone is in this part of the globe.
.2. Toilet paper !!! This is one thing that is a major culture shock to me. The initial couple of weeks - I ended up rubbing my arse so damn hard that every single time I ended up bleeding down there. Heck - It was so bad - I began to feel like a woman having periods. Now - thanks to many hours of Googling for the "right technique" and some "expert inputs" from my friend Ashish Soni - things are much better.
.3. Dressing !!! Let's just say - the babes here dress to kill. At least that's what any Indian guy would say! As for the guys - they're just poorly dressed and have really bad grooming and hygiene standards ... Period!!!
.4. People are a lot more friendly and honest and open to helping each other as compared to those back in India. To the extent that people you just met are ready to show you around town, take you along with their friends and families to parties, etc - and that too without expecting anything in return!
.5. Having a car is a mandatory thing in this part of the globe. Without a car - you have no life. Without a car - you're handicapped. Without a car - you're never getting a date. But, the good part is, car's are pretty cheap. Especially in this economy where people are loosing jobs and motor companies are going bankrupt by the hour. If buying a new car is going to be a strain on your wallet - the used car market is also equally attractive. With cars ranging from Ford Escorts all the way to Lexus, Mercedes and Porsche's available at mouth watering deals.
.6. Marriages don't last that long. But - whenever they end - the guy, inevitably, goes broke! And the girl - well - she just takes everything the guy owned!
.7. You don't need to be married to have kids. But, if you have kids - then you better get ready to pay child support. And trust me when I saw - it's not very cheap!
.8. Casual flings and no-strings-attached affairs are as common here as women gossiping in India. No one notices and even if they do they don't give a damn either!
I must also confess that there are "some" changes that "had" to be made to accommodate the new locale. For example:
.1. I used to sleep all the way till 10 am in the morning back in India. Here - we work from 8 am to 5 pm. And thanks to that - I am left with no other option but to wake up at 6 so that I can get to work on time.
.2. For the last 1 year odd - I never had to cook breakfast (and for that matter - neither did I cook lunch or dinner that much) was always at some hotel/restaurant en route to work. Now - I ended up making breakfast, lunch and dinner - simply because of the fact that it is too frigging expensive and exotic to order out everyday.
The only affordable (read as cheap) cuisine here is Chinese - and that can get boring after a couple of weeks!
.3. I have to rely on people for transportation. And this, trust me when I say this, is really really really distressing. Especially because, for the last 4.5 years that I've been working - I always had a transportation of my own - the love of my life - my bike. (Or should I call it my eX-Bike?)
.4. The last 5 years of my career, I've either been working in the offshore divisions of service companies or working in a product company. This afforded me the luxury of having a much more "relaxed" work environment. When I say relaxed - I don't mean I had any less work. But, I had a lot more flexibility when it came to what I could do at work - like - say taking extended coffee breaks, flexible work hours, chit chatting with friends during office hours, playing pranks on colleagues, etc. Having to work at onsite - is a completely different ball game in itself. Since you are sitting in front of the client - all these things are pretty much ruled out!
Anyways ... On the whole, it's a pretty okay move. At least - so far so good !!!
Only time will tell whether my opinion is going to change for the better or for the worse ...
Till then - I'm going to go with the flow and keep my fingers crossed while I am at it!
:)
Time does fly doesn't it - Especially when you're trying to adjust to a completely new city and culture 8000 miles far away from the place you called home for the last 25 years.
But, justice be done - I wouldn't say things are a lot different out here. Neither would I say - I've had to change my habits a lot to adapt to the new place!
But, yes - there are many a differences in the culture, the people, their habbits, etc. For example:
.1. People here are very self indulgent and fiercly independent. Initially, it might come off as them being selfish and spoilt, but in reality it isn't so. It's just the way everyone is in this part of the globe.
.2. Toilet paper !!! This is one thing that is a major culture shock to me. The initial couple of weeks - I ended up rubbing my arse so damn hard that every single time I ended up bleeding down there. Heck - It was so bad - I began to feel like a woman having periods. Now - thanks to many hours of Googling for the "right technique" and some "expert inputs" from my friend Ashish Soni - things are much better.
.3. Dressing !!! Let's just say - the babes here dress to kill. At least that's what any Indian guy would say! As for the guys - they're just poorly dressed and have really bad grooming and hygiene standards ... Period!!!
.4. People are a lot more friendly and honest and open to helping each other as compared to those back in India. To the extent that people you just met are ready to show you around town, take you along with their friends and families to parties, etc - and that too without expecting anything in return!
.5. Having a car is a mandatory thing in this part of the globe. Without a car - you have no life. Without a car - you're handicapped. Without a car - you're never getting a date. But, the good part is, car's are pretty cheap. Especially in this economy where people are loosing jobs and motor companies are going bankrupt by the hour. If buying a new car is going to be a strain on your wallet - the used car market is also equally attractive. With cars ranging from Ford Escorts all the way to Lexus, Mercedes and Porsche's available at mouth watering deals.
.6. Marriages don't last that long. But - whenever they end - the guy, inevitably, goes broke! And the girl - well - she just takes everything the guy owned!
.7. You don't need to be married to have kids. But, if you have kids - then you better get ready to pay child support. And trust me when I saw - it's not very cheap!
.8. Casual flings and no-strings-attached affairs are as common here as women gossiping in India. No one notices and even if they do they don't give a damn either!
I must also confess that there are "some" changes that "had" to be made to accommodate the new locale. For example:
.1. I used to sleep all the way till 10 am in the morning back in India. Here - we work from 8 am to 5 pm. And thanks to that - I am left with no other option but to wake up at 6 so that I can get to work on time.
.2. For the last 1 year odd - I never had to cook breakfast (and for that matter - neither did I cook lunch or dinner that much) was always at some hotel/restaurant en route to work. Now - I ended up making breakfast, lunch and dinner - simply because of the fact that it is too frigging expensive and exotic to order out everyday.
The only affordable (read as cheap) cuisine here is Chinese - and that can get boring after a couple of weeks!
.3. I have to rely on people for transportation. And this, trust me when I say this, is really really really distressing. Especially because, for the last 4.5 years that I've been working - I always had a transportation of my own - the love of my life - my bike. (Or should I call it my eX-Bike?)
.4. The last 5 years of my career, I've either been working in the offshore divisions of service companies or working in a product company. This afforded me the luxury of having a much more "relaxed" work environment. When I say relaxed - I don't mean I had any less work. But, I had a lot more flexibility when it came to what I could do at work - like - say taking extended coffee breaks, flexible work hours, chit chatting with friends during office hours, playing pranks on colleagues, etc. Having to work at onsite - is a completely different ball game in itself. Since you are sitting in front of the client - all these things are pretty much ruled out!
Anyways ... On the whole, it's a pretty okay move. At least - so far so good !!!
Only time will tell whether my opinion is going to change for the better or for the worse ...
Till then - I'm going to go with the flow and keep my fingers crossed while I am at it!
:)
I'm Back After An Extremely Long Hiatus
I know I've been gone for a while now. Although this might seem as a set of excuses, I had a couple of reason for my self imposed hiatus.
.1. A blog article I wrote many months ago had sparked a feud between me and some of my buddies. And although, I thought this was a minor issue, unfortunately, it doesnt seem to be the case. The people on the other end seem to have taken it very personally, to the extent that they don't talk to me and have sort of distanced themselves from me.
.2. I've been extremely busy trying to acclimatize myself to the new country and my new environment and new job profile.
.3. I've had some stuff (good, bad and ugly) happening on my personal life front which has been keeping me busy during my evenings, and thanks to that - blogging had to take a back seat.
Well ... All that said, I'm back in action now. And this time, I hope I'll be around for good!
So, all you friends and foes out there - Watch out ... Cause Daddy's Back In The Game !!!
.1. A blog article I wrote many months ago had sparked a feud between me and some of my buddies. And although, I thought this was a minor issue, unfortunately, it doesnt seem to be the case. The people on the other end seem to have taken it very personally, to the extent that they don't talk to me and have sort of distanced themselves from me.
.2. I've been extremely busy trying to acclimatize myself to the new country and my new environment and new job profile.
.3. I've had some stuff (good, bad and ugly) happening on my personal life front which has been keeping me busy during my evenings, and thanks to that - blogging had to take a back seat.
Well ... All that said, I'm back in action now. And this time, I hope I'll be around for good!
So, all you friends and foes out there - Watch out ... Cause Daddy's Back In The Game !!!
Monday, June 15, 2009
Divorce Blues
Recently, I learnt how stinging a divorce can be. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not the one getting divorced. One of my good friends is. Poor girl ... From whatever she's told me - she was in a very bad, loveless and traumatic marriage. Her husband abused her, emotionally blackmailed her, beat her up. Her In-Laws were even more sinister - doing whatever the hubby did and more. She even recounts one occasion where her mother-in-law tried to kill her using the "exploding stove" technique that is so common in India. Somehow, I think she was exaggerating on that bit. Heck, she might have exaggerated on many other counts as well.
But, the moral of the story is - she was traumatized to the core. So, much that she started living separately from her hubby and in-laws. She's being doing that for the last 4.5 years odd now.
Ofcourse, there were attempts by her hubby to try and re-concile things. But, somehow, things never worked out. If you ask me - I'd put the blame on her for that. Because, whenever I asked her about the "time when they were together again" she had very hateful things to say. Stuff like - I used to take out all my frustration on him for all the bad times he had given me. We didn't have sex at all. I only agreed to give it a shot for our son (Oh ... forgot to mention that she has a son from that fellow!). I took my revenge on him and mistreated him just as badly as he did me a couple of years ago.
What I am trying to get at here is - I get it that she's pissed at him and all. But, if he's waving the white flag and asking for forgiveness and wants to make amends for whatever he's done to her - the last thing she should be doing is taking revenge and pissing him off even more. I mean - I try to put myself in the shoes of the guy - and I'm feeling all depressed and angry and hate filled already.
Anyways ... The guy didn't or should I say couldn't take any more of her shit - and things went back to tangents Once Again!
This was followed by, the only logical thing to do given this background, him trying to file for divorce.
Now, obviously, its a divorce for crying out loud. It's going to be messy. After all - if he says "Yeah ... I am the wrong party ... It's not her fault at all!" then he's looking at saying bye-bye to half his assets and paying a healthy amount of money as alimony for the rest of his miserable life (Did I mention that this couple didn't have any sort of a pre-nuptial agreement either!)
Now, the process in India for divorce is pretty long drawn and hilarious/torturous - depending on which side of the table you're looking at it from.
Torturous - for the couple who's undergoing it - because it's going to take that much longer to "legally" not have to see each other and not have anything to do with each other ever again.
Hilarious - for the friend(s) who's supporting their friend who's going through with the divorce proceedings - because you'd find it amusing, as well as interesting, the things your friend has to say about her soon-to-be-ex. Trust me on this!
Anyways ... My friend had a lot of things to say about "what he said" about her in court. I've listed a few of them below:
Well ... It's not like she didn't say anything nasty about him in court. I've listed a few of them below:
With all these things that happened. I figured she'd hate the guy enough to "move on" to another relationship.
(If something like that ever popped up i.e)
But, I was mistaken. The girl is so damn scarred emotionally that every time me, or any of her other friends, or her parents and close relatives for that matter, suggest the idea - she snaps at us. And trust me when I say - she doesn't say very pretty stuff when she snaps!
Well ... There is nothing much I can do out here but help her ride the wave. Be supportive, understanding, and as far as possible "be there" for her when she needs help.
Hopefully - she'll get over this trough in her life. Hopefully, she'll fall in love with someone once again ... Real Soon!
Good Luck Sweetie!!!
God Bless Ya ...
But, the moral of the story is - she was traumatized to the core. So, much that she started living separately from her hubby and in-laws. She's being doing that for the last 4.5 years odd now.
Ofcourse, there were attempts by her hubby to try and re-concile things. But, somehow, things never worked out. If you ask me - I'd put the blame on her for that. Because, whenever I asked her about the "time when they were together again" she had very hateful things to say. Stuff like - I used to take out all my frustration on him for all the bad times he had given me. We didn't have sex at all. I only agreed to give it a shot for our son (Oh ... forgot to mention that she has a son from that fellow!). I took my revenge on him and mistreated him just as badly as he did me a couple of years ago.
What I am trying to get at here is - I get it that she's pissed at him and all. But, if he's waving the white flag and asking for forgiveness and wants to make amends for whatever he's done to her - the last thing she should be doing is taking revenge and pissing him off even more. I mean - I try to put myself in the shoes of the guy - and I'm feeling all depressed and angry and hate filled already.
Anyways ... The guy didn't or should I say couldn't take any more of her shit - and things went back to tangents Once Again!
This was followed by, the only logical thing to do given this background, him trying to file for divorce.
Now, obviously, its a divorce for crying out loud. It's going to be messy. After all - if he says "Yeah ... I am the wrong party ... It's not her fault at all!" then he's looking at saying bye-bye to half his assets and paying a healthy amount of money as alimony for the rest of his miserable life (Did I mention that this couple didn't have any sort of a pre-nuptial agreement either!)
Now, the process in India for divorce is pretty long drawn and hilarious/torturous - depending on which side of the table you're looking at it from.
Torturous - for the couple who's undergoing it - because it's going to take that much longer to "legally" not have to see each other and not have anything to do with each other ever again.
Hilarious - for the friend(s) who's supporting their friend who's going through with the divorce proceedings - because you'd find it amusing, as well as interesting, the things your friend has to say about her soon-to-be-ex. Trust me on this!
Anyways ... My friend had a lot of things to say about "what he said" about her in court. I've listed a few of them below:
- She has had multiple abortions - none of which was his
- She drinks and smokes a lot
- She's slept with many other men when she was married
Well ... It's not like she didn't say anything nasty about him in court. I've listed a few of them below:
- His family is a set of thugs and goons who wouldn't hesitate to kill her.
- They swindled off all the dowry her parents had given her and were harrassing her for more money.
- They had mandated a large amount of dowry (Dowry is illegal in India. You could be put in jail for 10 years if prosecuted for it!)
With all these things that happened. I figured she'd hate the guy enough to "move on" to another relationship.
(If something like that ever popped up i.e)
But, I was mistaken. The girl is so damn scarred emotionally that every time me, or any of her other friends, or her parents and close relatives for that matter, suggest the idea - she snaps at us. And trust me when I say - she doesn't say very pretty stuff when she snaps!
Well ... There is nothing much I can do out here but help her ride the wave. Be supportive, understanding, and as far as possible "be there" for her when she needs help.
Hopefully - she'll get over this trough in her life. Hopefully, she'll fall in love with someone once again ... Real Soon!
Good Luck Sweetie!!!
God Bless Ya ...
Sunday, June 14, 2009
The "Just About To Break Up" Phase
Her are some fun facts/things I've heard my friends say when they were on the verge of a break-up:
(These are the guys perspectives/sides of the story only. Any of you girls who feel like sharing your side of the story - don't hesitate to indulge yourself in the comments section)
What is hell is there to talk everyday? I can't bear it when she calls me up everyday at 11.30 pm and after 5 mins of BS that involves me telling her and she telling me "About Our Day" - she says " So ... What else ? "
Heck ... If she doesn't have anything else to say - keep the phone down already. I wanna catch up on some sleep!!!
This is in stark contrast to those 5 hour long phone calls - that end only because your battery or talk time (pre-paid anyone!) ran out - during the initial courtship period of the relationship.
(Read as before you got to bang her!)
Jesus Fucking Christ ... She's got hair #!@@#$@#$ down there !!!
Seriously girl ... Even Tera "Jabba The Hut" Patrick is not cool !!!
All she wants to do is hold hands. I want to do more than that ... A LOT FUCKING MORE !!!
Yet another one you have to award to the guys ... No questions about that !!!
Why the fuck does she want to complicate it with talks of marriage???
I mean seriously ... WHY do you have to complicate things ???
She wont give me head ... She's lousy in bed, and she simply doesn't want to/wont learn!
Well ... No contesting this one either!
After all - it is for a very good reason Winston Churchill once said "Any woman who thinks the way to a man's heart is through his stomach is aiming a bit too high!"
;)
I met this other girl at the mall/club last night ... She so much fun to hang out with ... Besides - She's cute, she's intelligent ... And I think she digs me too!
When this happens - It's a no brainer ... He's gone for good !
She's not around as often as I'd like her to be.
Well ... Some guys need caring and attention a lot. Some guys don't. This is something you'll hear someone in the former category say.
My brother/best friends don't like her.
We value what our brothers/best friends have to say. It's an unwritten rule in our big black rule book that they've got our backs covered. And if they don't like - it's because they know somethings wrong with you and I accept that!
She's a slut! She bangs anything that moves!
Ideally, this is the kindda of girl you never dump. Atleast not for this reason anyways!
Instead, you should learn to "utilize" her, and her extract the maximum from her ummmmmmmm "skills", till you get fed up of it and then and only then should you dump her. And when you do - just make sure it hurts (her) reaaaaaaaaaal bad!
;)
She's getting too close for comfort!
This is an absolute no brainer. If you turn up the pressure - we will turn off the heat.
It's as simple as that!
My parents want me to get married to someone of their choice!
This one is particularly interesting. It turns out the "someone of their (parents!) choice" is - more qualified + more beautiful + has bigger tits + has a super rich dad + the future in-laws have made a mouth-watering offer of letting him take over their family business + superb dowry in the offing. Hence, the girl he was dating got dumped.
It's a cheesy excuse ... Maybe even downright despicable, but heck, it's not an Utopian world we live in these days. A guys got to look out for himself. And if he doesn't do it himself - no one will.
So, you poor darling who was on the receiving end of the raw deal - All I have to say is - "Life is not fair ... Deal with it!"
She's too controlling ... She's always telling me what to do ... She simply doesn't let me be ME!
Now this one is a fact. There is even an old proverb that supports it - "Men marry a girl expecting her not to change. Women marry men because they want to change them!"
I mean seriously ... We know what's good for ourselves. We got along very well for the last 27 years. Now, we don't need someone to tell us that the odd beer we have every week is "bad" for our health. Neither do we want someone to advise us on "how important it is to keep the toilet seat down" nor do we want someone to advise on "how important it is to have a dirt free home"
I mean seriously ... Even Adolf Hitler might not have been so frigging controlling!
(These are the guys perspectives/sides of the story only. Any of you girls who feel like sharing your side of the story - don't hesitate to indulge yourself in the comments section)
What is hell is there to talk everyday? I can't bear it when she calls me up everyday at 11.30 pm and after 5 mins of BS that involves me telling her and she telling me "About Our Day" - she says " So ... What else ? "
Heck ... If she doesn't have anything else to say - keep the phone down already. I wanna catch up on some sleep!!!
This is in stark contrast to those 5 hour long phone calls - that end only because your battery or talk time (pre-paid anyone!) ran out - during the initial courtship period of the relationship.
(Read as before you got to bang her!)
Jesus Fucking Christ ... She's got hair #!@@#$@#$ down there !!!
Seriously girl ... Even Tera "Jabba The Hut" Patrick is not cool !!!
All she wants to do is hold hands. I want to do more than that ... A LOT FUCKING MORE !!!
Yet another one you have to award to the guys ... No questions about that !!!
Why the fuck does she want to complicate it with talks of marriage???
I mean seriously ... WHY do you have to complicate things ???
She wont give me head ... She's lousy in bed, and she simply doesn't want to/wont learn!
Well ... No contesting this one either!
After all - it is for a very good reason Winston Churchill once said "Any woman who thinks the way to a man's heart is through his stomach is aiming a bit too high!"
;)
I met this other girl at the mall/club last night ... She so much fun to hang out with ... Besides - She's cute, she's intelligent ... And I think she digs me too!
When this happens - It's a no brainer ... He's gone for good !
She's not around as often as I'd like her to be.
Well ... Some guys need caring and attention a lot. Some guys don't. This is something you'll hear someone in the former category say.
My brother/best friends don't like her.
We value what our brothers/best friends have to say. It's an unwritten rule in our big black rule book that they've got our backs covered. And if they don't like - it's because they know somethings wrong with you and I accept that!
She's a slut! She bangs anything that moves!
Ideally, this is the kindda of girl you never dump. Atleast not for this reason anyways!
Instead, you should learn to "utilize" her, and her extract the maximum from her ummmmmmmm "skills", till you get fed up of it and then and only then should you dump her. And when you do - just make sure it hurts (her) reaaaaaaaaaal bad!
;)
She's getting too close for comfort!
This is an absolute no brainer. If you turn up the pressure - we will turn off the heat.
It's as simple as that!
My parents want me to get married to someone of their choice!
This one is particularly interesting. It turns out the "someone of their (parents!) choice" is - more qualified + more beautiful + has bigger tits + has a super rich dad + the future in-laws have made a mouth-watering offer of letting him take over their family business + superb dowry in the offing. Hence, the girl he was dating got dumped.
It's a cheesy excuse ... Maybe even downright despicable, but heck, it's not an Utopian world we live in these days. A guys got to look out for himself. And if he doesn't do it himself - no one will.
So, you poor darling who was on the receiving end of the raw deal - All I have to say is - "Life is not fair ... Deal with it!"
She's too controlling ... She's always telling me what to do ... She simply doesn't let me be ME!
Now this one is a fact. There is even an old proverb that supports it - "Men marry a girl expecting her not to change. Women marry men because they want to change them!"
I mean seriously ... We know what's good for ourselves. We got along very well for the last 27 years. Now, we don't need someone to tell us that the odd beer we have every week is "bad" for our health. Neither do we want someone to advise us on "how important it is to keep the toilet seat down" nor do we want someone to advise on "how important it is to have a dirt free home"
I mean seriously ... Even Adolf Hitler might not have been so frigging controlling!
Friday, May 22, 2009
Pros and Cons
| Wipro | |
| | |
| Pros | Cons |
| I made some truly great friends | Salary was miserably low |
| Learnt my first most important lesson about the corporate world - People Will Cheat You ... So don't trust anyone! | Project did not meet any of my career aspirations |
| Had plenty of free time, which I could've utilized positively (But,sadly, I didn't) | Worked under a program manager who lied bare-face and played politics 24X7 |
| Got an opportunity to directly interact with the clients | The company management was not transparent in matters related to promotions or compensation |
| Infrastructure facilities (ac, cabs, pantry, washrooms, cafeteria, etc) was good | No brand value |
| | Never felt any loyalty to manager/team/project/client |
| | Was very frustrated about my career prospects in the project |
| | Benefits and Perks were myths |
| | The company was not very people friendly |
| | Existance of a "Must-Swipe-In-And-Swipe-Out-Everyday-At-Office" policy |
| Oracle | |
| | |
| Pros | Cons |
| I made a few true friends - in every sense of the word | Work was monotonous. Especially after being in the same project for close to 2 years |
| Learnt a lot of things about a lot of things - technical, interpersonal, managerial, leadership - to name a few | In the long run, the position did not meet my career goals of moving into a Sales and Marketing position. |
| Had great mentors who always added value to your life and work | Pay revisions did not happen on time - leading to tensions and frustrations and rising tempers |
| Worked under a great leader and a perfect manager - Joshua Mahendran | Official team outings (Company Paid Ones i.e.) were far and few in between |
| The work culture was "picture perfect" | The 'HR Team' is a spent force |
| Has a strong sense of loyalty to my manager, team and company | |
| Felt a strong sense of achievement in each and every task I performed | |
| The team was very superior - both technically and personally - and were always ready to help one another at any time | |
| The work culture fostered development of a "friendship" and "brotherhood" feeling amongst members of the team, which lead to better bonding amongst members in the team and thereby a better throughput in terms of productivity | |
| Very employee friendly and employee centric organization | |
| The perks and benefits provided to employees were very lucrative | |
| The compensation offered - at the time of joining the company - was the best in the industry | |
| Flexi-Timings | |
| No Dress Code | |
| Work From Home Option | |
| Plenty of Holidays available | |
| No "Must-Swipe-In-Everyday-At-Office" rule | |
| Can maintain a healthy work-life balance | |
| People are very professional in all aspects of work | |
| Things always happen on time as per committed deadlines | |
| TCS | |
| | |
| Pros | Cons |
| Job Security | Lousy place to be if you're serious about career growth and monetary prospects |
| Lax worklife | Pathetic work culture |
| I was working off my hometown. That was a big plus | Moronic, bordering Illiterate, co-workers |
| No "Must-Swipe-In-Everyday-At-Office" rule | Waaaaaaaaaaaay too much Red-Tape in all departments |
| If you're benched - no need to come to office till you're alloted into a project | Too bureaucratic for my tastes |
| | Claims never get processed on time |
| | Travel requests never get approved till 10 minutes before your train/flight leaves town |
| | Lousy Infrastructure facilities |
| | A/C are switched off post 6.00 pm. If you need to work beyond that - try not to die off suffocation, as your company provided insurance policy doesn’t cover that |
| | No cab facilities. Period! |
| | Toilets don't have soaps, toilet paper, or for that matter water |
| | Managers are plain mean |
| | Project Leads are worse! |
| | Lousy Pay Package |
| | People lie and backstab a lot. Get used to it! |
| | Getting a release from a project is tougher than getting a hard-on sitting naked on a hot tin roof! |
| | Project and Efforts Planning is totally lousy if not stupid |
| | You need to call people Sir and Madam, if you need to get something done. This is something totally alien in this industry |
| UST Global | |
| | |
| Pros | Cons |
| The compensation offered is lucrative | Certain senior members in the project snub and insults you in front of others to push their point. |
| Potential upside of being able to travel onsite after completion of 1 year in the team | Certain senior members in the project are extremely stubborn, not open to negotitions or inputs from other team members, and duncical in all people management related aspects in a project |
| Job profile involves designing and maintaining OAF based applications - which is something I enjoy | Concept of classroom trainings is not promoted |
| Potential upside of being able to move into a sales and marketing capability after the completion of the current assignment | Things never happen on time |
| Learning a completely new product - which is a pretty interesting and resume-value-adding experience | People are not very professional |
| Presence of some very senior, experienced and knowledgeable colleagues in the project who ensure the rest of the team are bought up to speed on the matters pertaining to work | Promises are seldom kept |
| | Company policies are often twisted and interpreted so that you always end up on the wrong end of a raw deal |
| | Work timings are lousy (11 am to 11 pm) |
| | No concept of flexi-timings (atleast in my project) |
| | Infrastructure (cabs, ac, pantry, cafeteria, washrooms) sucks big time |
| | Concept of having to attend meetings - even if you have nothing to do with them. Nett result, wastage of man-hours |
| | Attrition rate is very high (In the last 2 month alone 5 people left - in a team of 25 i.e.) |
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