The "Just About To Break Up" Phase

Her are some fun facts/things I've heard my friends say when they were on the verge of a break-up:
(These are the guys perspectives/sides of the story only. Any of you girls who feel like sharing your side of the story - don't hesitate to indulge yourself in the comments section)


What is hell is there to talk everyday? I can't bear it when she calls me up everyday at 11.30 pm and after 5 mins of BS that involves me telling her and she telling me "About Our Day" - she says " So ... What else ? "
Heck ... If she doesn't have anything else to say - keep the phone down already. I wanna catch up on some sleep!!!

This is in stark contrast to those 5 hour long phone calls - that end only because your battery or talk time (pre-paid anyone!) ran out - during the initial courtship period of the relationship.
(Read as before you got to bang her!)


Jesus Fucking Christ ... She's got hair #!@@#$@#$ down there !!!

Seriously girl ... Even Tera "Jabba The Hut" Patrick is not cool !!!


All she wants to do is hold hands. I want to do more than that ... A LOT FUCKING MORE !!!

Yet another one you have to award to the guys ... No questions about that !!!


Why the fuck does she want to complicate it with talks of marriage???

I mean seriously ... WHY do you have to complicate things ???


She wont give me head ... She's lousy in bed, and she simply doesn't want to/wont learn!

Well ... No contesting this one either!
After all - it is for a very good reason Winston Churchill once said "Any woman who thinks the way to a man's heart is through his stomach is aiming a bit too high!"
;)


I met this other girl at the mall/club last night ... She so much fun to hang out with ... Besides - She's cute, she's intelligent ... And I think she digs me too!

When this happens - It's a no brainer ... He's gone for good !


She's not around as often as I'd like her to be.

Well ... Some guys need caring and attention a lot. Some guys don't. This is something you'll hear someone in the former category say.


My brother/best friends don't like her.

We value what our brothers/best friends have to say. It's an unwritten rule in our big black rule book that they've got our backs covered. And if they don't like - it's because they know somethings wrong with you and I accept that!


She's a slut! She bangs anything that moves!

Ideally, this is the kindda of girl you never dump. Atleast not for this reason anyways!
Instead, you should learn to "utilize" her, and her extract the maximum from her ummmmmmmm "skills", till you get fed up of it and then and only then should you dump her. And when you do - just make sure it hurts (her) reaaaaaaaaaal bad!
;)


She's getting too close for comfort!

This is an absolute no brainer. If you turn up the pressure - we will turn off the heat.
It's as simple as that!


My parents want me to get married to someone of their choice!

This one is particularly interesting. It turns out the "someone of their (parents!) choice" is - more qualified + more beautiful + has bigger tits + has a super rich dad + the future in-laws have made a mouth-watering offer of letting him take over their family business + superb dowry in the offing. Hence, the girl he was dating got dumped.
It's a cheesy excuse ... Maybe even downright despicable, but heck, it's not an Utopian world we live in these days. A guys got to look out for himself. And if he doesn't do it himself - no one will.
So, you poor darling who was on the receiving end of the raw deal - All I have to say is - "Life is not fair ... Deal with it!"


She's too controlling ... She's always telling me what to do ... She simply doesn't let me be ME!

Now this one is a fact. There is even an old proverb that supports it - "Men marry a girl expecting her not to change. Women marry men because they want to change them!"
I mean seriously ... We know what's good for ourselves. We got along very well for the last 27 years. Now, we don't need someone to tell us that the odd beer we have every week is "bad" for our health. Neither do we want someone to advise us on "how important it is to keep the toilet seat down" nor do we want someone to advise on "how important it is to have a dirt free home"
I mean seriously ... Even Adolf Hitler might not have been so frigging controlling!