Widening Generation Gaps

I was watching this movie called American Chai today (05-Feb-2008). Although the movie deals with the topic - "Woes of 2nd Generation American Indian at the hands of their parents", it is a topic which has been picturized to death. I must agree, though, that it has some really bright performances - The most striking being Paresh Rawal. He's done the role of an Indian Dad who's son was born and bought up in the USA, and ergo has more American values than Indian ones, and has to cope up with his sons' decision to pursue a career in music!
From comedy roles to serious roles - this guy handles everything with panache ... Hats off to you Paresh!!!

But, my main intention of this blog was not to talk about the movie per se. What I wanted to write about was something else. I have this really good friend (I am not mentioning her name because I don't think she'd want me to be so damn public about what I am going to talk about) who, along with her parents, migrated to the USA about 7 years back.

And a lot of things about the movie reminded me of the stuff that she was (and still is) going through during her stay there. Her parents were the characteristic "Malayali Christians" who had stumbled upon a chance to go to the land of dreams and make it big. Translated into layman's terms - these were people who were in the land where "Gay Marriages" were legal - But at heart they were as Orthodox as Orthodox can be, and at the risk of sounding rude, maybe even pre-historic regarding their thoughts, view, outlook and approach towards life!

I won't side completely with my friend here - cause she did some stuff which were not very "Indianish", and moreover not very "Malluish", in nature (like having a Non-Mallu Boyfriend, chilling out with the "American" crowd, drinking liquor, losing virginity to someone other than your husband, having sex with her BF before marriage, etc, etc, etc). And I only say I wont side with her completely because - I do have to take into account the fact that no Indian parents, however modern they are, will be able to digest all those things - at least not in one stretch!!!
But, I will completely defend her by saying - it's her life and she had more say about it than anyone else!!!


But, anyways, the issue remains that her parents were not approving of her lifestyle! And as can be expected from any Indian family - and that too a Orthodox Mallu Christian one at that - they imposed "bans" after "bans" on her. She tells me that, at times, she got beaten black and blue and in a couple of occasions - even whipped!!!
(I just felt soooooo sorry for her when I heard her parents still beat their 21 year old daughter to get their points through!)
But, anyways, contrary to their expectations, it just made the situation worse.
She just got ticked off even more, and started doing stuff just to get her "revenge" (But, ofcourse, she was smart enough not to get caught!).
Again, I wouldn't blame her per se. What else could you expect from a teenager?
I mean - come on - haven't you done stuff just to tick off your parents, just because they ticked you off in some way or the other (for example - Just for shouting and grounding you for flunking that test in school - didn't you ever try to get revenge on your dad by smoking your first cigarette?)
;-)


All that said and done, I was just wondering - It would be great if parents just understood what kids were going through and helped them outlive those "phases" - instead of just bossing them around and making life a "living hell" for them!!!
I understand it might be very different from what/how things were during their generation - but they better accept it ... Times have changed ... And its best that they should too!!!

Lets try to do some justice to people under the "parents" category by saying "They're just not trying hard enough to accept the facts that things have changed in the last 30 years since they were teenagers". This is what leads to them to try and oppress their kids feelings and thoughts, and thereby, aid them in living in a world of denial.

All I can say is - they're in for a rude shock if thats what they plan to do forever!!!


Not that my one blog is going to change your mindset or viewpoint or culturally oriented stereotyped inclinations ... But - I believe - It would, at the very least, serve as food for thought!!!