I was asked to take "J2EE Training" for about 30 odd fresher who recently joined our team. Since I like teaching people - I happily complied.
As can be expected, my manager at work pulled a fast one on me, and since I am "The Moron Who Doesn't Know To Say NO Sternly" - it's resulted in me having to work everyday till around 2 am - including both days of the weekend!
(Now - I have to do my regular 9 am - 6 pm project work and then come home and start working on preparing the slides needed as also learn up on all the topics - so that I can delve out an effective training!)
But, all the cribbing apart - It was a fun experience. Watching all the participants glow with joy on learning new concepts. And, from the feedback forms they filled out, I came to know that "The Participants Felt" that my communication skills were very good, my training was effective, and above all - the course content exceeded their expectations from the training!
I must confess - "Mugamboe Kussh Hua"
To cater to the training program, I had to prepare quite a few PPT slide - as a matter of fact a whopping 403 slides.
(Ofcourse, I must confess, I did leverage a lot of these slides from already existing presentations that were available online)
And now - I am going to share this with the participants of the program. But, there was one small problem. I had written personal notes on many of the slides. I didn't want to pass on the slides with these scibbled notes to them as it. with every probability, wouldn't make sense to them. This is when I stumbled upon this article on the web. It gives you step-by-step instructions on what needs to be done to delete all your Slide notes programmatically.
How to remove all your Power Point notes
Open your presentation
Click "Tools", "Macro", "Macros" and type in removeNotes.
Click "Create".
Paste the following into the window that appears, just before the text "End Sub"
Dim objSlide As Slide
Dim objShape As Shape
For Each objSlide In ActivePresentation.Slides
For Each objShape In objSlide.NotesPage.Shapes
If objShape.TextFrame.HasText Then
objShape.TextFrame.TextRange = ""
End If
Next
Next
Close the script window.
Click "Tools", "Macro", "Macros" and double click removeNotes.
Your notes should be deleted!
Anyone who wants to use this to achieve the same purpose as me is free to do so. Please note, I will not be held liable if anything goes (terribly?) wrong.
Monday, December 22, 2008
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Need Help And Tips from My Casanova Pals
Now, this one specifically goes out to those friends of mine who are (or atleast claim) hard core casanova's and can sweep any woman off her feet (read as get her into bed!). All female readers of mine could also feel free to comment on this matter - as I'm sure your inputs would be equally priceless. Anyways ... With no further ado - let me dive into the matter.
Basically, there is this hot chick at the gym I go to. She's really hot (no questions about that!) and has a helloffa lotta attitude about it as well. Since, she's the only "eligible" girl (read as - she's the only one that looks < 30 and has a body that worth talking to!) - all the people at the gym (boys, men, uncles, grandpas, floor staff, instructors - you get the drift don't you!) oogle at her (some discreetly - some not so discreetly).
I won't say I dont oogle at her - I do too.
Now the problem is - I wanna know what would be the best approach to hit on her and get her phone number?
;)
Personally, I think, I really need to start honing up on these skills right away - else my whole "Trip To Foreign Lands" will be a pure waste of time!
This is where all you "experienced" and "talented" friends of mine come in.
* Give me good advice - and if it works - I'll make it worth your while.
* Give me junk advise - and if it flops and I loose face (or end up with a slipper on my face) - I'll break your jaw!
So come on folks ... Share your experiences and advise and tips and knowledge. Let's make this world a better place!!!
Basically, there is this hot chick at the gym I go to. She's really hot (no questions about that!) and has a helloffa lotta attitude about it as well. Since, she's the only "eligible" girl (read as - she's the only one that looks < 30 and has a body that worth talking to!) - all the people at the gym (boys, men, uncles, grandpas, floor staff, instructors - you get the drift don't you!) oogle at her (some discreetly - some not so discreetly).
I won't say I dont oogle at her - I do too.
Now the problem is - I wanna know what would be the best approach to hit on her and get her phone number?
;)
Personally, I think, I really need to start honing up on these skills right away - else my whole "Trip To Foreign Lands" will be a pure waste of time!
This is where all you "experienced" and "talented" friends of mine come in.
* Give me good advice - and if it works - I'll make it worth your while.
* Give me junk advise - and if it flops and I loose face (or end up with a slipper on my face) - I'll break your jaw!
So come on folks ... Share your experiences and advise and tips and knowledge. Let's make this world a better place!!!
Saturday, December 13, 2008
The Thermodynamics of Hell
The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so profound that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting Oh my God.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting Oh my God.
Missing My Mentors
Throughout my career, I've been extremely lucky to have great mentors ...
During my Wipro days
I had Sujatha (aka Suj) to give me timely inputs, thoughts and suggestions. She was someone who I could approach with my concerns and not only would she help me find a resolution to it - she also assisted me molding my thought process to arrive at those results on my own.
Another important person during my stay there is Farzana (aka Farzi). Although her presence and role in my life wasn't as extensive as Sujatha's - she too had a turnkey role in it.
During my Oracle days
I had Sameer - who, in my honest opinion, was my best mentor so far. It is from him I learnt a lot of things about how to make a mark in the corporate world. I observed and learnt all the things - right from "What To Say And Do" all the way to "Whom To Influence" - from him. In short - from whatever I've learnt from him - I hope to someday make it big as a manager.
And I can never thank Pradhan (aka pvaramba) enough for all the technical mentoring he has provided. It is from him I learnt the art of how to approach and solve any technical problem - even if you have no clue on what it is. In my honest opinion, he is the most humble techno savvy person I have met. Although this guy really knows his shit - I'd say - his primary strength is not his technical superiority, but rather, his willingness to help people around him scale up to his level of knowledge.
(Seriously - never once have I seen him ridicule anyone about their lack of knowledge in anything, and he's always ready to spend as much time as needed to get things into your head!)
But, today, I was wondering - "Why haven't I been able to learn anything in the last couple of months". And that's when it struck me ... Since the day I joined TCS, I've not had a good mentor!!!
I kid you not!!! In the last 6 months that I've been here - I haven't even met one fellow from whom I can or for that matter want to learn anything from.
(And on top of that, at least what I've observed so far is, no one seems to be open to taking someone under their wing and molding and shaping them into something better and brighter!)
I can't hope to learn anything from my peers and colleagues here as they're all freshers and have nothing much to offer me per se, and, the management here is so bad - that the only time they will even talk to you is when something goes terribly wrong in the project (and the only thing they do during this talk session is shout their head off!!!). During all other times - they're a very closely knit group and they don't want to let anyone else inside!
(You think I haven't tried to wriggle myself in!!!)
Well ... What else can I say other than - "God Help Me!"
During my Wipro days
I had Sujatha (aka Suj) to give me timely inputs, thoughts and suggestions. She was someone who I could approach with my concerns and not only would she help me find a resolution to it - she also assisted me molding my thought process to arrive at those results on my own.
Another important person during my stay there is Farzana (aka Farzi). Although her presence and role in my life wasn't as extensive as Sujatha's - she too had a turnkey role in it.
During my Oracle days
I had Sameer - who, in my honest opinion, was my best mentor so far. It is from him I learnt a lot of things about how to make a mark in the corporate world. I observed and learnt all the things - right from "What To Say And Do" all the way to "Whom To Influence" - from him. In short - from whatever I've learnt from him - I hope to someday make it big as a manager.
And I can never thank Pradhan (aka pvaramba) enough for all the technical mentoring he has provided. It is from him I learnt the art of how to approach and solve any technical problem - even if you have no clue on what it is. In my honest opinion, he is the most humble techno savvy person I have met. Although this guy really knows his shit - I'd say - his primary strength is not his technical superiority, but rather, his willingness to help people around him scale up to his level of knowledge.
(Seriously - never once have I seen him ridicule anyone about their lack of knowledge in anything, and he's always ready to spend as much time as needed to get things into your head!)
But, today, I was wondering - "Why haven't I been able to learn anything in the last couple of months". And that's when it struck me ... Since the day I joined TCS, I've not had a good mentor!!!
I kid you not!!! In the last 6 months that I've been here - I haven't even met one fellow from whom I can or for that matter want to learn anything from.
(And on top of that, at least what I've observed so far is, no one seems to be open to taking someone under their wing and molding and shaping them into something better and brighter!)
I can't hope to learn anything from my peers and colleagues here as they're all freshers and have nothing much to offer me per se, and, the management here is so bad - that the only time they will even talk to you is when something goes terribly wrong in the project (and the only thing they do during this talk session is shout their head off!!!). During all other times - they're a very closely knit group and they don't want to let anyone else inside!
(You think I haven't tried to wriggle myself in!!!)
Well ... What else can I say other than - "God Help Me!"
Friday, December 12, 2008
The Reasons For Going To The US
Okay ... Ever since I wrote my previous blog entry, I've been getting phone calls, GTalk pings, sms'es, etc from many people asking me for the "true" reason why I want to go to the USA.
Before I move on to talking about it, let me tell you what a few members of my friends and family it could be:
* My Dad thinks I want to go to the US to make and save more money.
* My Mom thinks I want to go to the US for a better career growth.
* Pallavi (aka Pallu) thinks that I want to go to the US just to get laid.
Well, I must confess, they are not completely wrong. It's a bit of everything listed above and something more too!
You see, I'm very bored with my life these days. It's like I don't have a flame or passion inside me anymore. I've been feeling so very lethargic, and sulky, that it's as if I've shrunk myself into some sort of a cocoon.
And trust me - This isn't the real me!
Heck - I really need to shock myself out of this state I am in now. And for that - the US is the perfect place.
(As a matter of fact - any new place - where no one knows me and I don't know anyone - is the perfect place! US just happened. If it hadn't - It'd have been the UK!)
I've been told that in the US - no one gives a shit who you are and what you do. You can just be yourself and there will always be someone or the other who accepts you that way.
It's a place where you can "discover" the true you!
This is waaaaaaaaaaay in contrast to culture here in Cochin (and India in general) where everything is done (read as forced upon you!) in the name of family/traditions/values/etc.
So - as per me - USA sounds like my kindda town!
Anyways - whether I am correct or not - only time will tell. But till then, I am going to live in the hopes that I am correct and everything is going to work in my favor.
:)
And Pallu - FYI - I don't have to go all the way to US to get laid. Bangalore and Chennai were very [ahem] "opportunity laden" as well darling!!!
I'll leave the rest to your imaginations ....
;)
Before I move on to talking about it, let me tell you what a few members of my friends and family it could be:
* My Dad thinks I want to go to the US to make and save more money.
* My Mom thinks I want to go to the US for a better career growth.
* Pallavi (aka Pallu) thinks that I want to go to the US just to get laid.
Well, I must confess, they are not completely wrong. It's a bit of everything listed above and something more too!
You see, I'm very bored with my life these days. It's like I don't have a flame or passion inside me anymore. I've been feeling so very lethargic, and sulky, that it's as if I've shrunk myself into some sort of a cocoon.
And trust me - This isn't the real me!
Heck - I really need to shock myself out of this state I am in now. And for that - the US is the perfect place.
(As a matter of fact - any new place - where no one knows me and I don't know anyone - is the perfect place! US just happened. If it hadn't - It'd have been the UK!)
I've been told that in the US - no one gives a shit who you are and what you do. You can just be yourself and there will always be someone or the other who accepts you that way.
It's a place where you can "discover" the true you!
This is waaaaaaaaaaay in contrast to culture here in Cochin (and India in general) where everything is done (read as forced upon you!) in the name of family/traditions/values/etc.
So - as per me - USA sounds like my kindda town!
Anyways - whether I am correct or not - only time will tell. But till then, I am going to live in the hopes that I am correct and everything is going to work in my favor.
:)
And Pallu - FYI - I don't have to go all the way to US to get laid. Bangalore and Chennai were very [ahem] "opportunity laden" as well darling!!!
I'll leave the rest to your imaginations ....
;)
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Favorite Dilaogue # 1
"I run my unit how I run my unit. You want to investigate me, roll the dice and take your chances. I eat breakfast 300 yards from 4000 Cubans who are trained to kill me, so don't think for one second that you can come down here, flash your badge, and make me nervous."
- Col. Jessep (A Few Good Men)
- Col. Jessep (A Few Good Men)
Sunday, December 7, 2008
ABCD - American Born Confused Desi
Bored??? Wanna drool over some babes???
I've got just the right thing for you !!!
For those who can't see the album above - click on the link - http://picasaweb.google.com/sharath.wipro/BabesUnlimited#
I've got just the right thing for you !!!
 |
| Babes Unlimited |
For those who can't see the album above - click on the link - http://picasaweb.google.com/sharath.wipro/BabesUnlimited#
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Why I Want To Go To The USA
I was talking to my good friend Ravi about my H1B Visa and why I would like to go the USA. And as usual, a lot of myths and falsities came crashing. That is one thing that is really cool about talking to Ravi. He strips your arguments apart - bit by bit, blow by blow, and then makes you eat your own words.
:)
Thanks to this attitude and approach of his - we (Me, Pradhaan, Samir, Rajesh, Anbarasu, Abhiram, and Ravi) had a lot of fun and lengthy luncheon sessions when we all used to work together at Oracle.
Anyways ... Before I hit of on a tangential angle and start getting nostalgic - let me come back to the main track. After that discussion with Ravi, I was left wondering, why do I really want to go to the USA. The approach I'm gonna take here is that I will list out all the points as and when they come to my mind, and then try to take a dig at them on my own. If I am not able to undermine the justification - then it will stay on the list. Else - It gets kicked out from the list.
That way - the FINAL list will have every single "real" and "justified" reason why I wanna go to the USA.
I'll post the URL's to the next blog where I'll be listing these "points" and the critic reviews on the same. For now, I'm just too tired (thanks to a very bumpy Volvo bus ride from Chennai to Cochin). So - I wanna catch up on some sleep!
Ciao!!!
:)
Thanks to this attitude and approach of his - we (Me, Pradhaan, Samir, Rajesh, Anbarasu, Abhiram, and Ravi) had a lot of fun and lengthy luncheon sessions when we all used to work together at Oracle.
Anyways ... Before I hit of on a tangential angle and start getting nostalgic - let me come back to the main track. After that discussion with Ravi, I was left wondering, why do I really want to go to the USA. The approach I'm gonna take here is that I will list out all the points as and when they come to my mind, and then try to take a dig at them on my own. If I am not able to undermine the justification - then it will stay on the list. Else - It gets kicked out from the list.
That way - the FINAL list will have every single "real" and "justified" reason why I wanna go to the USA.
I'll post the URL's to the next blog where I'll be listing these "points" and the critic reviews on the same. For now, I'm just too tired (thanks to a very bumpy Volvo bus ride from Chennai to Cochin). So - I wanna catch up on some sleep!
Ciao!!!
My Big Secret
Okay ... So many of my friends have been asking me why I moved from Oracle to TCS. Some of them have even been "kind" enough to tell me that I was either
1. Stupid
2. Mad
3. Idiotic
4. Silly
5. Foolish
etc ... etc ... etc ...
(The list goes on and on and on ... and also becomes more and more [ahem] expletive laden ...)
to have done so!
I agree ... Especially with the reasons I gave them (wanting to move closer to home, missing my family, the career opportunities TCS had to offer, and some more Bullshit like that) for "why" I moved - Even I would've said just that.
On the contrary, the truth is far from that. And till two days back, I had no option but to kept it under really really tight wraps!
But, today, I'm going to spill the beans ...
Around 9 months back I had interviewed for a company by the name Collabera. They had offered to sponsor my H1B visa, and I had very graciously "agreed" to that. After a loooooooong and tiring wait - on Thursday, 4-Dec-2008, was D-Day - "My H1B Visa Interview" Day.
The experience of going for an H1B interview is unique and priceless - and I'm gonna write a separate blog about it. So, those of you lovely folks who aspire for it too can check out that other blog, the one that I plan to write soon, for more insights and tips on the H1B process.
So, now that the Cat's officially out of the bag - I declare before you - I Am An Official H1B Visa Holder!
(-=claps and whistles=-)
:)
And before you start asking the obvious question "When Am I Flying Out Of The Country" - let me answer it for you - "I Don't Know!!!"
With the global recession and US economy crashing, etc - Collabera has not given me a clear cut commitment on the travel dates/clients/projects yet. But, tentatively, they've asked me to be ready to fly out sometime between End of Feb to Mid of March.
So - for all practical purposes - that leaves me with a little over 3 months to meet up with all my friends, relatives and loved ones and say "Bye Bye!". Also, I wanna try and take as many fond memories as I can. Especially with the "No Returning To India For At least 18 Months" contract that I'll be signing with Collabera - I don't think I have a choice.
Anyways ... To all my lovely Friends out there reading this - I'm really sorry I didn't inform you folks about this earlier. I just didn't want to be on the receiving end of all that "sympathy" had I not been able to get the VISA!
To all you lovely readers - who don't really qualify as friends (yet) - Please do wish me luck. In these troubled times in the US - I hope I don't end up in more bullshit that I am already in!
For now - All I can think of is - "Yaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhoooooooooooooooooooooo!!!"
1. Stupid
2. Mad
3. Idiotic
4. Silly
5. Foolish
etc ... etc ... etc ...
(The list goes on and on and on ... and also becomes more and more [ahem] expletive laden ...)
to have done so!
I agree ... Especially with the reasons I gave them (wanting to move closer to home, missing my family, the career opportunities TCS had to offer, and some more Bullshit like that) for "why" I moved - Even I would've said just that.
On the contrary, the truth is far from that. And till two days back, I had no option but to kept it under really really tight wraps!
But, today, I'm going to spill the beans ...
Around 9 months back I had interviewed for a company by the name Collabera. They had offered to sponsor my H1B visa, and I had very graciously "agreed" to that. After a loooooooong and tiring wait - on Thursday, 4-Dec-2008, was D-Day - "My H1B Visa Interview" Day.
The experience of going for an H1B interview is unique and priceless - and I'm gonna write a separate blog about it. So, those of you lovely folks who aspire for it too can check out that other blog, the one that I plan to write soon, for more insights and tips on the H1B process.
So, now that the Cat's officially out of the bag - I declare before you - I Am An Official H1B Visa Holder!
(-=claps and whistles=-)
:)
And before you start asking the obvious question "When Am I Flying Out Of The Country" - let me answer it for you - "I Don't Know!!!"
With the global recession and US economy crashing, etc - Collabera has not given me a clear cut commitment on the travel dates/clients/projects yet. But, tentatively, they've asked me to be ready to fly out sometime between End of Feb to Mid of March.
So - for all practical purposes - that leaves me with a little over 3 months to meet up with all my friends, relatives and loved ones and say "Bye Bye!". Also, I wanna try and take as many fond memories as I can. Especially with the "No Returning To India For At least 18 Months" contract that I'll be signing with Collabera - I don't think I have a choice.
Anyways ... To all my lovely Friends out there reading this - I'm really sorry I didn't inform you folks about this earlier. I just didn't want to be on the receiving end of all that "sympathy" had I not been able to get the VISA!
To all you lovely readers - who don't really qualify as friends (yet) - Please do wish me luck. In these troubled times in the US - I hope I don't end up in more bullshit that I am already in!
For now - All I can think of is - "Yaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhoooooooooooooooooooooo!!!"
Sunday, November 16, 2008
A Deft Reply
I found this article about Things Women Hate About Men
The author - Meenakshi Shankar - has raised some questions here, which I - on behalf of my gender - will take a dig at:
.1. Ask you out, start a relationship with you, then ponder to their guy friends, "I'm not sure if she is my type!
There is always the "newness" element involved when we ask you out and start a relationship with you. But, over the course of time, we understand that you may/not have the "things" that we are looking for in our potential life partner. These "things" can be anything ranging from stuff like - "You don't give us breathing space" to "You're too controlling" to "You don't make me feel as special as I want to feel" all the way to "You suck in bed!"
I'm sure girls wouldn't understand the logic behind this simple thing. So, I'm gonna try and put in words/ideas that you folks can understand.
Now, assume that you buy a new red dress. Something reaaaaaaaaally sexy. Initially, you're all excited about it. You wanna wear it at every possible opportunity. Wear it to every function and get together ... But, over a period of time - you realize that this is probably not the "best fit" for you and that you have "other options" or you get "plain bored" with it.
Well ... I hope the message is loooooooooooud and clear now Sister!!!
.2. Think that there is something wrong about gay men, but lesbians they totally support
Gay Men is yucky ... Besides - If we were cool with it - you'd want us to/some guy to stick his dick into our/his ass ... THE MERE THOUGHT OF IT HURTS A LOT!!!
But lesbians - now that's cool. And heck - you don't have to stick anything anywhere!!! You just sit back and enjoy the show. Besides - the way I see it - what difference does it make if a guys eats ya out or a girl???
.3. Male chauvinism! We fail to understand why men can stop and ask for direction till its 50 odd kms into the wrong direction?! It’s always been a mystery why they will not stop and ask for directions!
We KNOW our way. If we get lost (rarest of rarest scenarios) - It's because the landmarks have changed. Period!!!
.4. Tells everyone that you are smothering them and that they are annoyed that you are always around. But the very second you get off work or are out with your friends for a change, your cell phone starts ringing off the hook and he's saying , "When are coming over. I miss you. I love you. Come back!
It's our way of being romantic ...
(Pssssssst ... When we say we miss you or we love you - We REALLY mean it!)
.5. Temporary amnesia! They remember the names of football and cricketers from some odd country, their scores, their entire career track but ask them about birthday’s or anniversaries and the scores each player has made, but cannot for the life them remember birthdays, anniversaries and buying gifts. What kind selective memory is that?
In our defense, Sometimes we do forget the cricketers/footballers scores or sometimes - we even get it all mixed up. No harm ever came out of that!
But, if we ever mix up a birthdays or forget an anniversary - We're screwed!!!
Grrrrrrrrrrrr ...
Besides, dates are for historians and archaeologists - Not us!
.6. Oh, they nod their head with aplomb when the topic veers towards gender equality! They are all for it! But, when it comes to pitching in with household chores suddenly, gender equality is an alien lingo!
We wouldn't even dream of "stealing" what you ladies so proudly prize - THE HOME!
Besides, when was the last time you let the guy do the house hold chores according to his wishes?
"Not so much detergent" ... "The Dhaal needs a dash more of salt and a tad more of oil" ... "You missed a spot" ... "Dry the pants inside out" ... etc ... etc ... etc ...
If you guys want us to do stuff your way - why don't you just do it yourselves???
After all - It's not THAT difficult???
.7. They categorize women into two types a cool type and a marriageable type. They love to hang around with the hip and happening babes, but when it comes to tying the knot, it’s a virgin bride all the way through! As the saying rightly goes, You can go to a restaurant and look at the menu card, but its home- cooked meal that completes you. And our men, seem to follow that saying to the T.
I'll be very very very honest (read as point blank) here. We like dating cool types - because the are fun to hang out with and easy to bed. Period!
And it is for this same and very reason we shy away from marrying them.
This is how our smart male brain thinks:
"If it was so easy for me to get her into bed - another guy would be able to do so too. What if that happens after marriage? Divorce!!! But, if I divorce her - she'll leave with half my wealth ... Grrrrrrrrr ... She sleeps with someone else - and I end up having to pay her for it too .... No fucking way I'm gonna let that happen. Hmmmmmmm ... what do I do now? Isn't it better to marry someone else - who's not so "easy" ... Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh yesssssssss .... That's the perfect answer to this problem ... I need to find myself a "marriageable types" girl .... Simple!!!"
I hope that answers your question on why we prefer marriageable types girls (read as virgins!) v/s the cool types girls (read as easy lays!)
.8. An absolute control over the remote control! There has to be some kind of deep seated relation to this, but it’s yet to be unearthed.
It's not because we love the remote so much, but, it's because we know if we leave it lying around - you'll end up watching all those dreaded "Saas-Bahu" soaps, and we'll have to watch that crap as well!
Besides, watching stuff like Financial news, Stock Market, Sports, Music Videos is much better than watching the silly junk you folks fantasize!
.9. Strutting around like a peacock! Ugggh ... that’s a no no! Agreed that they are handy when it comes to fixing a loose wire or tightening the nuts and bolts, but constantly stroking their feathers on that count weighs us down.
Yeah right ... you expect us to do all the "risky" and "dangerous" work and not strut around, but you can make one good tasty "Chicken Tikka Masala" and boast about it to every one on the planet for as long as you live - and that's perfectly normal.
Hippocratic to the core!!!
.10. Not that there is anything wrong with looking (we also like to look!), but someone ought to teach the boys the fine art of looking! There is a very fine line between ogling and looking. And somehow, our boys think its all one and the same!
We believe in being honest and that's what we've been taught right from Day # 1. You girls on the other hand are all about stealth
(I prefer to call it Sly - but stealth will do for now!)
Okay ... Bullshit apart - we also know "how to" sneak a peek. And when it slips to ogling - it's because the chick is so damn hot!!!
(Come on ... Think about it ... When you see a good looking chick with big tits and a round ass - who the heck cares about decency and diplomacy!!!)
The author - Meenakshi Shankar - has raised some questions here, which I - on behalf of my gender - will take a dig at:
.1. Ask you out, start a relationship with you, then ponder to their guy friends, "I'm not sure if she is my type!
There is always the "newness" element involved when we ask you out and start a relationship with you. But, over the course of time, we understand that you may/not have the "things" that we are looking for in our potential life partner. These "things" can be anything ranging from stuff like - "You don't give us breathing space" to "You're too controlling" to "You don't make me feel as special as I want to feel" all the way to "You suck in bed!"
I'm sure girls wouldn't understand the logic behind this simple thing. So, I'm gonna try and put in words/ideas that you folks can understand.
Now, assume that you buy a new red dress. Something reaaaaaaaaally sexy. Initially, you're all excited about it. You wanna wear it at every possible opportunity. Wear it to every function and get together ... But, over a period of time - you realize that this is probably not the "best fit" for you and that you have "other options" or you get "plain bored" with it.
Well ... I hope the message is loooooooooooud and clear now Sister!!!
.2. Think that there is something wrong about gay men, but lesbians they totally support
Gay Men is yucky ... Besides - If we were cool with it - you'd want us to/some guy to stick his dick into our/his ass ... THE MERE THOUGHT OF IT HURTS A LOT!!!
But lesbians - now that's cool. And heck - you don't have to stick anything anywhere!!! You just sit back and enjoy the show. Besides - the way I see it - what difference does it make if a guys eats ya out or a girl???
.3. Male chauvinism! We fail to understand why men can stop and ask for direction till its 50 odd kms into the wrong direction?! It’s always been a mystery why they will not stop and ask for directions!
We KNOW our way. If we get lost (rarest of rarest scenarios) - It's because the landmarks have changed. Period!!!
.4. Tells everyone that you are smothering them and that they are annoyed that you are always around. But the very second you get off work or are out with your friends for a change, your cell phone starts ringing off the hook and he's saying , "When are coming over. I miss you. I love you. Come back!
It's our way of being romantic ...
(Pssssssst ... When we say we miss you or we love you - We REALLY mean it!)
.5. Temporary amnesia! They remember the names of football and cricketers from some odd country, their scores, their entire career track but ask them about birthday’s or anniversaries and the scores each player has made, but cannot for the life them remember birthdays, anniversaries and buying gifts. What kind selective memory is that?
In our defense, Sometimes we do forget the cricketers/footballers scores or sometimes - we even get it all mixed up. No harm ever came out of that!
But, if we ever mix up a birthdays or forget an anniversary - We're screwed!!!
Grrrrrrrrrrrr ...
Besides, dates are for historians and archaeologists - Not us!
.6. Oh, they nod their head with aplomb when the topic veers towards gender equality! They are all for it! But, when it comes to pitching in with household chores suddenly, gender equality is an alien lingo!
We wouldn't even dream of "stealing" what you ladies so proudly prize - THE HOME!
Besides, when was the last time you let the guy do the house hold chores according to his wishes?
"Not so much detergent" ... "The Dhaal needs a dash more of salt and a tad more of oil" ... "You missed a spot" ... "Dry the pants inside out" ... etc ... etc ... etc ...
If you guys want us to do stuff your way - why don't you just do it yourselves???
After all - It's not THAT difficult???
.7. They categorize women into two types a cool type and a marriageable type. They love to hang around with the hip and happening babes, but when it comes to tying the knot, it’s a virgin bride all the way through! As the saying rightly goes, You can go to a restaurant and look at the menu card, but its home- cooked meal that completes you. And our men, seem to follow that saying to the T.
I'll be very very very honest (read as point blank) here. We like dating cool types - because the are fun to hang out with and easy to bed. Period!
And it is for this same and very reason we shy away from marrying them.
This is how our smart male brain thinks:
"If it was so easy for me to get her into bed - another guy would be able to do so too. What if that happens after marriage? Divorce!!! But, if I divorce her - she'll leave with half my wealth ... Grrrrrrrrr ... She sleeps with someone else - and I end up having to pay her for it too .... No fucking way I'm gonna let that happen. Hmmmmmmm ... what do I do now? Isn't it better to marry someone else - who's not so "easy" ... Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh yesssssssss .... That's the perfect answer to this problem ... I need to find myself a "marriageable types" girl .... Simple!!!"
I hope that answers your question on why we prefer marriageable types girls (read as virgins!) v/s the cool types girls (read as easy lays!)
.8. An absolute control over the remote control! There has to be some kind of deep seated relation to this, but it’s yet to be unearthed.
It's not because we love the remote so much, but, it's because we know if we leave it lying around - you'll end up watching all those dreaded "Saas-Bahu" soaps, and we'll have to watch that crap as well!
Besides, watching stuff like Financial news, Stock Market, Sports, Music Videos is much better than watching the silly junk you folks fantasize!
.9. Strutting around like a peacock! Ugggh ... that’s a no no! Agreed that they are handy when it comes to fixing a loose wire or tightening the nuts and bolts, but constantly stroking their feathers on that count weighs us down.
Yeah right ... you expect us to do all the "risky" and "dangerous" work and not strut around, but you can make one good tasty "Chicken Tikka Masala" and boast about it to every one on the planet for as long as you live - and that's perfectly normal.
Hippocratic to the core!!!
.10. Not that there is anything wrong with looking (we also like to look!), but someone ought to teach the boys the fine art of looking! There is a very fine line between ogling and looking. And somehow, our boys think its all one and the same!
We believe in being honest and that's what we've been taught right from Day # 1. You girls on the other hand are all about stealth
(I prefer to call it Sly - but stealth will do for now!)
Okay ... Bullshit apart - we also know "how to" sneak a peek. And when it slips to ogling - it's because the chick is so damn hot!!!
(Come on ... Think about it ... When you see a good looking chick with big tits and a round ass - who the heck cares about decency and diplomacy!!!)
Monday, November 10, 2008
Movie Review - Quantum of Solace
There is always a lot of hype around Bond movies. And although I didn't like Daniel Craig playing James Bond that much, my curiosity got the better of me, and so, I decided to watch Quantum of Solace.
To be honest, I was enjoying my weekly body massage (you guys should take one too. It's so damn relaxing!!!) when I realized that I was running late for the show. So, I had to ask my masseur to cut short the massage by 30 odd mins (generally it lasts about 1 hour) and rushed to the theater to catch the show.
To cut a long story short - I am VERY disappointed!!!
This movie is the only Bond movie I've seen (I've seen em all btw. Right from the Roger Moore starers all the way to Daniel Craig) where I was constantly looking at my watch and thinking about Popcorn and Pepsi refills and wondering when this movie would end - than looking at the events on screen!
I'm going to be "in-your-face" honest here. The main things I like about bond movies are:
1. The hot girls
2. How he gets them into bed
3. The Cool Gadget
4. The "Dream" Cars
5. The Action
6. The "Save The World" plot
Well, to put it this way, this James Bond movie doesn't have any of them!
The girl in this movie - Olga Kurylenko - is a little short of disappointing. "Seriously James ... She doesn't turn me on - how the fuck did she turn you on??? But, hey, that explains why you didn't sleep with her!!!"
Generally, Bond girls are "Ultra Glamorous" personified. Sophie Marceau, Rosamund Pike, Famke Janssen, Izabella Scorupco, Serena Scott Thomas, Hally Berry, Jane Seymour, Dennis Richards, etc to name a few.
Olga Kurylenko on the other hand - she comes no where near that image. Firstly, she doesn't have a single shot in the movie where she is dressed in something "nice and sexy". Secondly, she sports this nasty little burn scar on her back that really really makes you wanna puke! Third, she doesn't have any "assets". For those of you who didn't get it - ASSETS = ASS AND TITS!
Seriously, she's got really really small tits. And her ass is pretty much non existent!
It's always a pleasure to see Bond get women into bed. To be honest - I try to watch those sequences over and over again to see if there is something I can "learn" from it. But, in QoS - there weren't any (except for one silly little excuse for it!).
Bond's watch is the most kick ass gadget he carries. From shooting laser beams to deploying a high tension wire inside of it - it does a lot of other things besides telling the time! In this movie. His watch is a dud. The only gadget he uses his Gun. And it does what every gun does - Shoot (Duh!)
There are no damn cars in this movie. The only fight sequence from inside "vehicles" was one in the air where Bond pilots a run down Cargo aircraft and picks a bone with a Fighter Aircraft (Of course - he comes out as a champion. But, yaaaaaaaaawn, wasn't that obvious!)
This is the only section where Daniel Craig stages a win over other Bond actors. This guy has a macho body and his punches does pack a walla. But, hey, James Bond is supposed to be a Super Spy, not a street boxer!
But anyways, to give QoS some credit, the fight sequences is the only thing that *might* save you from sleeping off through the movie!
The plot in this movie is complete crap. Bond wants to avenge the people who made his girlfriend kill herself, and Olga wants to kill some general who raped her sister and mother ages ago!
What I fail to understand is - How can she Vesper be HIS girlfriend - when "technically" she was already seeing someone else, and was doing all the espionage stuff to save her "other" boyfriend. And besides - who the heck kills themselves (and that too by drowning themself!) these days to save their loved ones? I bought that load of crap in the Harry Potter series (Alice sacrifices herself for Harry). But, in a James Bond movie ... I don't think so!!!
Anyways, another thing I noticed was, in QoS, they flashed a woman's pussy (This happens in the last 20 odd mins off the movie. When the General is about to rape some girl and Olga barges into the room with a gun!). I really don't know why they had to show that though. The sequence could've done well without it. None of the earlier movies even dared to show the woman's nipple. But here ...
I guess the director wanted to give the viewers some "Value For Money"!
On the whole, this is one seriously avoidable movie. And if any one of you haven't watched the movie yet - DON'T BOTHER. You won't be missing anything!!!
To be honest, I was enjoying my weekly body massage (you guys should take one too. It's so damn relaxing!!!) when I realized that I was running late for the show. So, I had to ask my masseur to cut short the massage by 30 odd mins (generally it lasts about 1 hour) and rushed to the theater to catch the show.
To cut a long story short - I am VERY disappointed!!!
This movie is the only Bond movie I've seen (I've seen em all btw. Right from the Roger Moore starers all the way to Daniel Craig) where I was constantly looking at my watch and thinking about Popcorn and Pepsi refills and wondering when this movie would end - than looking at the events on screen!
I'm going to be "in-your-face" honest here. The main things I like about bond movies are:
1. The hot girls
2. How he gets them into bed
3. The Cool Gadget
4. The "Dream" Cars
5. The Action
6. The "Save The World" plot
Well, to put it this way, this James Bond movie doesn't have any of them!
The girl in this movie - Olga Kurylenko - is a little short of disappointing. "Seriously James ... She doesn't turn me on - how the fuck did she turn you on??? But, hey, that explains why you didn't sleep with her!!!"
Generally, Bond girls are "Ultra Glamorous" personified. Sophie Marceau, Rosamund Pike, Famke Janssen, Izabella Scorupco, Serena Scott Thomas, Hally Berry, Jane Seymour, Dennis Richards, etc to name a few.
Olga Kurylenko on the other hand - she comes no where near that image. Firstly, she doesn't have a single shot in the movie where she is dressed in something "nice and sexy". Secondly, she sports this nasty little burn scar on her back that really really makes you wanna puke! Third, she doesn't have any "assets". For those of you who didn't get it - ASSETS = ASS AND TITS!
Seriously, she's got really really small tits. And her ass is pretty much non existent!
It's always a pleasure to see Bond get women into bed. To be honest - I try to watch those sequences over and over again to see if there is something I can "learn" from it. But, in QoS - there weren't any (except for one silly little excuse for it!).
Bond's watch is the most kick ass gadget he carries. From shooting laser beams to deploying a high tension wire inside of it - it does a lot of other things besides telling the time! In this movie. His watch is a dud. The only gadget he uses his Gun. And it does what every gun does - Shoot (Duh!)
There are no damn cars in this movie. The only fight sequence from inside "vehicles" was one in the air where Bond pilots a run down Cargo aircraft and picks a bone with a Fighter Aircraft (Of course - he comes out as a champion. But, yaaaaaaaaawn, wasn't that obvious!)
This is the only section where Daniel Craig stages a win over other Bond actors. This guy has a macho body and his punches does pack a walla. But, hey, James Bond is supposed to be a Super Spy, not a street boxer!
But anyways, to give QoS some credit, the fight sequences is the only thing that *might* save you from sleeping off through the movie!
The plot in this movie is complete crap. Bond wants to avenge the people who made his girlfriend kill herself, and Olga wants to kill some general who raped her sister and mother ages ago!
What I fail to understand is - How can she Vesper be HIS girlfriend - when "technically" she was already seeing someone else, and was doing all the espionage stuff to save her "other" boyfriend. And besides - who the heck kills themselves (and that too by drowning themself!) these days to save their loved ones? I bought that load of crap in the Harry Potter series (Alice sacrifices herself for Harry). But, in a James Bond movie ... I don't think so!!!
Anyways, another thing I noticed was, in QoS, they flashed a woman's pussy (This happens in the last 20 odd mins off the movie. When the General is about to rape some girl and Olga barges into the room with a gun!). I really don't know why they had to show that though. The sequence could've done well without it. None of the earlier movies even dared to show the woman's nipple. But here ...
I guess the director wanted to give the viewers some "Value For Money"!
On the whole, this is one seriously avoidable movie. And if any one of you haven't watched the movie yet - DON'T BOTHER. You won't be missing anything!!!
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Busy ... Busy ... Busy ...
Life's been a blur off late - Especially with the new project at work (which I don't like btw!), gym sessions (I've lost 6 kilos in the last 1 month!), and my business (making money was never so much fun!) - I'd be surprised if it wasn't!!!
But, thanks to this uber hectic schedule, I've had to give up a few of my earthly pleasures ... Like catching a movie, playing a game, going on a trip, exploring the city a little bit, etc.
Talking about movies, I've been wanting to check out a few of them (actually quite a few of them) - Especially the following:
.1. Hello
.2. Singh is King
.3. Fashion
.4. Kurukshetra
.5. Twenty - Twenty
.6. Quantum of Solace
.7. Shawshank Redemption
If anyone can lend me the DVD's of any of these movies - please please please do so. I'll make it worth your while (CCD ... Beer ...)
Also, I need to catch up on some reading. Correction ... I have a huge backlog of books that I need to complete reading.
Well ... I guess it's time to bring out my planner and block 1 hour per day for some quality "Me" time (Now where's that goddamn planner when you need it #$@#$#@$#@$)
Till laterz then ....
But, thanks to this uber hectic schedule, I've had to give up a few of my earthly pleasures ... Like catching a movie, playing a game, going on a trip, exploring the city a little bit, etc.
Talking about movies, I've been wanting to check out a few of them (actually quite a few of them) - Especially the following:
.1. Hello
.2. Singh is King
.3. Fashion
.4. Kurukshetra
.5. Twenty - Twenty
.6. Quantum of Solace
.7. Shawshank Redemption
If anyone can lend me the DVD's of any of these movies - please please please do so. I'll make it worth your while (CCD ... Beer ...)
Also, I need to catch up on some reading. Correction ... I have a huge backlog of books that I need to complete reading.
Well ... I guess it's time to bring out my planner and block 1 hour per day for some quality "Me" time (Now where's that goddamn planner when you need it #$@#$#@$#@$)
Till laterz then ....
Monday, November 3, 2008
I Sting Like A Bee
There is this colleague of mine at my employers'. To sum him up in 3 words - "Moronic, Hyper-vacillate, Lazy".
Seriously ... That's what he is. Or at least - that's my opinion!
Every single day I find him hyper vacillating over the silliest things. And the way he talks about his "workload" would bring tears to Ramadorai's eyes!
(Heck - I think even Hitler might cry!!!)
And what I find really silly and moronic about him is the fact that he doesn't want to get his concepts right. For example - if we are given a bug to fix - all he wants is to do something blindly in the hopes that it will work, instead of taking a scientific approach to it!
(Trust me when I say - I've seen one too many incidents to be "mistaken")
And to tell you about how lazy he is - ohhhhhhhhh myyyyyyyyyyy gaaaaaaaaawd!!! He is as lazy as a sloth.
But, justice be done, his best talent is his ability to projects himself as "Super Man". He portrays himself as Einstein and his work as Rocket Science so damn well that people other than me (I know the "real facts" cause I work in the same bloody project!) think he is super smart.
And you know what - that "sells" at my current employers'. All you need to create is a hype and brouhaha about how much work your onsite PL is offloading onto your shoulder - and voila the folks around you automatically start worshiping you!
All these things said and done - he has one nasty habbit. He tends to stay late at work, and because of this - the little git doesn't like others going home early.
(To be more specific - He doesn't like ME heading for home at 7 PM!)
For the last couple of weeks I've been keeping quiet. After all he has more experience in the product - and the team in general - than me, and hence, I would definitely need his help to survive! So, I can't afford to pick up a fight with him.
But today, the little bastard got it left-right-top-and-bottom from me.
I don't know whether it was because I was very tired and irritable per se, or was it because I had intimated my manager that I wanted a release so that I can explore a move into a Sales and Marketing role that I might be offered (in another project i.e.), or was it simply cause - I was dying to give him a dressing down!
To explain in very brief what happened today - I pulled him into a conference room and told him "Dude ... You mind your business and I'll mind mine ... I know when to come and when to leave office ... If the manager or PL has a problem with that - let THEM ask me and I will explain to them. The last thing I want is YOU TO TELL ME what time I should come and leave or how I should do my work! Are we clear on this!!!"
Of course - it was not the most diplomatic of things to do (and I know it's even less diplomatic to write about that incident on my blog) - but what the heck ... He was asking for it!
(I must confess - It felt good!!!)
Tomorrow - when I get back to work - I am sure I can look forward to some trouble.
Knowing him - I am pretty sure he would've done some complaining, or at the very least some behind-my-back-politics that will ensure that I have some "answering" to do to my PL and managers!
Well all I can say is :
Two can play at that game!!!
:D
Seriously ... That's what he is. Or at least - that's my opinion!
Every single day I find him hyper vacillating over the silliest things. And the way he talks about his "workload" would bring tears to Ramadorai's eyes!
(Heck - I think even Hitler might cry!!!)
And what I find really silly and moronic about him is the fact that he doesn't want to get his concepts right. For example - if we are given a bug to fix - all he wants is to do something blindly in the hopes that it will work, instead of taking a scientific approach to it!
(Trust me when I say - I've seen one too many incidents to be "mistaken")
And to tell you about how lazy he is - ohhhhhhhhh myyyyyyyyyyy gaaaaaaaaawd!!! He is as lazy as a sloth.
But, justice be done, his best talent is his ability to projects himself as "Super Man". He portrays himself as Einstein and his work as Rocket Science so damn well that people other than me (I know the "real facts" cause I work in the same bloody project!) think he is super smart.
And you know what - that "sells" at my current employers'. All you need to create is a hype and brouhaha about how much work your onsite PL is offloading onto your shoulder - and voila the folks around you automatically start worshiping you!
All these things said and done - he has one nasty habbit. He tends to stay late at work, and because of this - the little git doesn't like others going home early.
(To be more specific - He doesn't like ME heading for home at 7 PM!)
For the last couple of weeks I've been keeping quiet. After all he has more experience in the product - and the team in general - than me, and hence, I would definitely need his help to survive! So, I can't afford to pick up a fight with him.
But today, the little bastard got it left-right-top-and-bottom from me.
I don't know whether it was because I was very tired and irritable per se, or was it because I had intimated my manager that I wanted a release so that I can explore a move into a Sales and Marketing role that I might be offered (in another project i.e.), or was it simply cause - I was dying to give him a dressing down!
To explain in very brief what happened today - I pulled him into a conference room and told him "Dude ... You mind your business and I'll mind mine ... I know when to come and when to leave office ... If the manager or PL has a problem with that - let THEM ask me and I will explain to them. The last thing I want is YOU TO TELL ME what time I should come and leave or how I should do my work! Are we clear on this!!!"
Of course - it was not the most diplomatic of things to do (and I know it's even less diplomatic to write about that incident on my blog) - but what the heck ... He was asking for it!
(I must confess - It felt good!!!)
Tomorrow - when I get back to work - I am sure I can look forward to some trouble.
Knowing him - I am pretty sure he would've done some complaining, or at the very least some behind-my-back-politics that will ensure that I have some "answering" to do to my PL and managers!
Well all I can say is :
Two can play at that game!!!
:D
Sunday, November 2, 2008
A Compliment Or Pure Perversion
I was watching this show on NDTV about "Emotional Infidelity" when one of the guests - Vir Das (Of Mumbai Salsa fame) - made a really cute statement:
"Women have platonic male friends ... Men have women they haven't slept with yet!"
I'm pretty sure all you women readers would be fuming right now. But, hey, accept it - THIS IS A FACT.
How much ever you trust, like (maybe even love!) and confide in us - at some point or the other - we've thought of you naked ... We've thought of making out with you ... We've thought of having sex with you ... Heck - In the process - We've probably even jerked off a few times!!!
I don't know why you women think of this as a crime worthy of crucification. The way I see it - at the very least - It's a flattering compliment!!!
Just think about it - If we men didn't think you were hot and worthy of our attention - we wouldn't think up all these "impish thoughts" would we?
(I know you girls prefer to user the terms lewd, and sexist, and cheap. But hey, this is my blog and I'm gonna use words I want!)
:P
And don't for a second think we don't know why you're making such a big deal of this. It's really simple you see. Women equate "anything sexual" to "marriage" and "commitment" (yucky!!!!).
The second you make out with a guy - you're already thinking of the flowers that'll be there at your marriage, what the wedding cards will look like, who all will come for the marriage, etc ...
But, in our case - the difference is - we stop with the sex!!!
We haven't thought of marriage ... Neither have we thought of how many kids we want ... Heck - We haven't even thought of whether/not to sleep with you the very next night!
(unless you were a damn good fuck!)
I found this very well written blog about a woman's insight into this whole thing. Do make it a point to read it so that you get a well rounded perspective of what both warring faction have to say.
Now if you ask me who is guilty party here - It's similar to asking "What Came First - The Chicken Or The Egg".
So, in conclusion I'd like to quote the title of a book I plan to read over the next couple of weeks
"Men Are From Mars ... And Women Are From Venus"
"Women have platonic male friends ... Men have women they haven't slept with yet!"
I'm pretty sure all you women readers would be fuming right now. But, hey, accept it - THIS IS A FACT.
How much ever you trust, like (maybe even love!) and confide in us - at some point or the other - we've thought of you naked ... We've thought of making out with you ... We've thought of having sex with you ... Heck - In the process - We've probably even jerked off a few times!!!
I don't know why you women think of this as a crime worthy of crucification. The way I see it - at the very least - It's a flattering compliment!!!
Just think about it - If we men didn't think you were hot and worthy of our attention - we wouldn't think up all these "impish thoughts" would we?
(I know you girls prefer to user the terms lewd, and sexist, and cheap. But hey, this is my blog and I'm gonna use words I want!)
:P
And don't for a second think we don't know why you're making such a big deal of this. It's really simple you see. Women equate "anything sexual" to "marriage" and "commitment" (yucky!!!!).
The second you make out with a guy - you're already thinking of the flowers that'll be there at your marriage, what the wedding cards will look like, who all will come for the marriage, etc ...
But, in our case - the difference is - we stop with the sex!!!
We haven't thought of marriage ... Neither have we thought of how many kids we want ... Heck - We haven't even thought of whether/not to sleep with you the very next night!
(unless you were a damn good fuck!)
I found this very well written blog about a woman's insight into this whole thing. Do make it a point to read it so that you get a well rounded perspective of what both warring faction have to say.
Now if you ask me who is guilty party here - It's similar to asking "What Came First - The Chicken Or The Egg".
So, in conclusion I'd like to quote the title of a book I plan to read over the next couple of weeks
"Men Are From Mars ... And Women Are From Venus"
Halloween
I siphoned these halloween pictures off a blog I follow
I just had to share it with ya'll ...
:)
For The Guys
For The Girls
For The Freaks
I just had to share it with ya'll ...
:)
A Taste Of Failure
So .... It's happened. For the first time in my professional life - I have failed to deliver on a commitment. And you know what - I don't give a damn!
I don't know why there is such an attitude of indifference.
- Maybe it's my defense mechanisms kicking into high gear ...
- Maybe I'm being very arrogant - because I already have a couple of offers letters with me ...
- Maybe I'm hoping that I will be able to go back to Oracle if I don't like it here ...
- Maybe I'm confident that even if I nothing works out - I'll still be able to do my freelancing business and make a decent living out of it ...
- Maybe I am just hoping that a couple of months down the road I wont be working for my current employer anymore ...
- Maybe I don't care that much about growing in my career anymore ...
- Maybe I'm willing to risk giving up my job to follow my dream of being an entrepreneur ...
That's a loooooooooooooot of Maybe's don't you think ... But, honestly, I don't know which one of these it is!!!
Well, one thing is for sure. Come Monday, there are going to be a lot of pissed managers and they're going to hold "Root Cause Analysis" meetings. So, I better come up with a diplomatic and very technically sound justifications (read as bullshit) by then.
God Help Me!!!
I don't know why there is such an attitude of indifference.
- Maybe it's my defense mechanisms kicking into high gear ...
- Maybe I'm being very arrogant - because I already have a couple of offers letters with me ...
- Maybe I'm hoping that I will be able to go back to Oracle if I don't like it here ...
- Maybe I'm confident that even if I nothing works out - I'll still be able to do my freelancing business and make a decent living out of it ...
- Maybe I am just hoping that a couple of months down the road I wont be working for my current employer anymore ...
- Maybe I don't care that much about growing in my career anymore ...
- Maybe I'm willing to risk giving up my job to follow my dream of being an entrepreneur ...
That's a loooooooooooooot of Maybe's don't you think ... But, honestly, I don't know which one of these it is!!!
Well, one thing is for sure. Come Monday, there are going to be a lot of pissed managers and they're going to hold "Root Cause Analysis" meetings. So, I better come up with a diplomatic and very technically sound justifications (read as bullshit) by then.
God Help Me!!!
Mission Impossible - Just Became Possible
It's unbelievable. I never thought I would live to see this day. But you know what - it's happened.
Oh ... For those of you nice gentleman and hot ladies (Pallu that means you!!!) - I am referring to my bank balance.
For the last 3.5 years that I've been earning, I've never seen my Bank Account grow over 45K - and that too it happens only at the start of the month (now you know how much I make!!!). And generally, by the mid of the month, by some sort of "black magic", this number automatically goes down to anything between 4K - 9K. And by the last week, I'm pretty much left scrounging for pennies!
But, this month, I was totally happy when I saw that finalllllllllllllllllllllllllllly - I touched a 6 figure account balance!
Yahooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ...
Now people ... Please don't jinx me or put an evil eye on me. Puhlessssssssssssssssssssss let me enjoy my thunder for as long as it lasts.
:)
Anyways ... To be honest, I know that my thunder isn't going to last very long, and that this account balance is soon going to dissipate into thin air!
Hey ... With all the Rent, Household bills, Education loans, Personal Loans, Petrol Costs, Building Maintainace bills to pay - I'll be lucky if I end up 20K by the end of the month.
Why can't people just give stuff away and not ask for any money in return???
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr ... I hate bills!!!
:D
Oh ... For those of you nice gentleman and hot ladies (Pallu that means you!!!) - I am referring to my bank balance.
For the last 3.5 years that I've been earning, I've never seen my Bank Account grow over 45K - and that too it happens only at the start of the month (now you know how much I make!!!). And generally, by the mid of the month, by some sort of "black magic", this number automatically goes down to anything between 4K - 9K. And by the last week, I'm pretty much left scrounging for pennies!
But, this month, I was totally happy when I saw that finalllllllllllllllllllllllllllly - I touched a 6 figure account balance!
Yahooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ...
Now people ... Please don't jinx me or put an evil eye on me. Puhlessssssssssssssssssssss let me enjoy my thunder for as long as it lasts.
:)
Anyways ... To be honest, I know that my thunder isn't going to last very long, and that this account balance is soon going to dissipate into thin air!
Hey ... With all the Rent, Household bills, Education loans, Personal Loans, Petrol Costs, Building Maintainace bills to pay - I'll be lucky if I end up 20K by the end of the month.
Why can't people just give stuff away and not ask for any money in return???
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr ... I hate bills!!!
:D
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Heart Break Hotel
A few nights ago, I had this reaaaaaaally weirdo dream.
That I met some girl (who was totally cute and hot btw!)... And I fell in love with her ... And she was in love with me ... And things were going good between us ... and then finally - one fine day - she just stops loving me back!
And you know what ... In my dreams i.e. ... I felt totally heartbroken. I can't remember whether I was crying or not in it though!
(even if I did - do you think the "awake" me would tell you I was crying over a girl!!!)
But, the point is - the pain felt so real ... Come to think about it - It's been 3 days since that dream, and the pain is still so frigging vivid in my mind ...
I remember my Mom (or was it from some old Mallu movie) telling me that the dreams that you see at dawn tend to come real. And true to that fact - I remember a few of the dreams that I have had around that time come true ...
(Déjà Vu anyone?)
Grrrrrrrrr ... I am not all that superstitious ... But - I seriously seriously seriously don't want this one to come true!!!
Really ... The last thing I want to be is HEARTBROKEN!!!
:(
But - Thanks to this dream of mine - Now I know how a few people who I [ahem] "know" must've felt at [ahem] one point in [ahem ahem] my/their past!!!
All I can say is - Sorry!!!
That I met some girl (who was totally cute and hot btw!)... And I fell in love with her ... And she was in love with me ... And things were going good between us ... and then finally - one fine day - she just stops loving me back!
And you know what ... In my dreams i.e. ... I felt totally heartbroken. I can't remember whether I was crying or not in it though!
(even if I did - do you think the "awake" me would tell you I was crying over a girl!!!)
But, the point is - the pain felt so real ... Come to think about it - It's been 3 days since that dream, and the pain is still so frigging vivid in my mind ...
I remember my Mom (or was it from some old Mallu movie) telling me that the dreams that you see at dawn tend to come real. And true to that fact - I remember a few of the dreams that I have had around that time come true ...
(Déjà Vu anyone?)
Grrrrrrrrr ... I am not all that superstitious ... But - I seriously seriously seriously don't want this one to come true!!!
Really ... The last thing I want to be is HEARTBROKEN!!!
:(
But - Thanks to this dream of mine - Now I know how a few people who I [ahem] "know" must've felt at [ahem] one point in [ahem ahem] my/their past!!!
All I can say is - Sorry!!!
Finally - Saw A Superbike In Cochin
Finally, I saw a super bike on the streets yesterday.
It was a really old Yamaha one (I couldn't make out which model though). Some hotshot with his girlfriend were burning up the tarmac. And not be to lessened, I tried to race with him. Of course, I lost. But, I would say that's 'cause of my mom (who was my pillion btw).
Oh forgot to mention ... Mom and I had gone for a movie. But thanks to the fact that we were 30 minutes late for the show - we were returning home disappointed - when I caught up with Mr. Super bike.
Trying to race with him made my day, but mom was clearly freaking out. The last thing I wanted was to give the sweet old lady a heart attack.
:)
So - Mr. Super bike ... Next time - If things are a lot more conducive - You're On Mate!!!
It was a really old Yamaha one (I couldn't make out which model though). Some hotshot with his girlfriend were burning up the tarmac. And not be to lessened, I tried to race with him. Of course, I lost. But, I would say that's 'cause of my mom (who was my pillion btw).
Oh forgot to mention ... Mom and I had gone for a movie. But thanks to the fact that we were 30 minutes late for the show - we were returning home disappointed - when I caught up with Mr. Super bike.
Trying to race with him made my day, but mom was clearly freaking out. The last thing I wanted was to give the sweet old lady a heart attack.
:)
So - Mr. Super bike ... Next time - If things are a lot more conducive - You're On Mate!!!
Stuck In The Lift!!!
Today, I got stuck in the lift in the apartment. I was heading home on the way back from the gym, and the power dissapears - and voila - I find myself stuck in the lift.
Most people panic when they get stuck in the lift. But not me ... You wanna know WHY?
It's pretty simple actually. It happens to me allllllllll the time.
If I remember right - the first time I got caught in a lift was at my Oracle office (Prestige Blue Chip) about a year odd back.
And to be honest (although I will never accept it in public!) I did "freak out" a teenie-weenie bit.
Then, 6 months later, I got stuck in the lift at my new Oracle office (Prestige Tech Park).
3 weeks ago, I got stuck in the lift at my gym building (I hit Talwakars btw)
And today, my own apartments.
So, you see, I'm not new to getting stuck.
So, all you monkeys who were picturing me screaming "Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelp" on top of my voice - DREAM ON!!!
:P
Most people panic when they get stuck in the lift. But not me ... You wanna know WHY?
It's pretty simple actually. It happens to me allllllllll the time.
If I remember right - the first time I got caught in a lift was at my Oracle office (Prestige Blue Chip) about a year odd back.
And to be honest (although I will never accept it in public!) I did "freak out" a teenie-weenie bit.
Then, 6 months later, I got stuck in the lift at my new Oracle office (Prestige Tech Park).
3 weeks ago, I got stuck in the lift at my gym building (I hit Talwakars btw)
And today, my own apartments.
So, you see, I'm not new to getting stuck.
So, all you monkeys who were picturing me screaming "Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelp" on top of my voice - DREAM ON!!!
:P
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Another Babe Is Officially Off The Market
Removing this blog entry as Pallu thinks that Swapna's husband "might" not approve of it!
Why take 'pangaa' uneccesarily with some guy ... Right Pallu?
;)
Why take 'pangaa' uneccesarily with some guy ... Right Pallu?
;)
My Heartfelt Apologies
Sorry guys and girls!!!
I reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally mean it ...
I know I haven't written any blogs in a while. (A quick check tells me that my last post was on 17-Sept-2008).
But, hey, I've been busy as hell.
Finally, I've been alloted to a decent project (atleast that's what I am led to believe ... So far atleast!) at my work. I can't talk about the client and the nature of my project for obvious reasons (read as thanks to an NDA with the client!).
And over and above that, I've been trying my hand at Freelancing. And I must say - I just looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove it. The work is mind blowing. I learnt a loooooooooooot of stuff about sales and marketing, pitching in front of customers, cold calling, preparing bids, etc - and all this in the last 3 weeks alone!
And guess what - I even made a neat $100 for my efforts. I know it aint much compared to what I make at my employers - but, hey - the experience alone is worth a million bucks.
Anyways, enough ranting about all that. Lets get back to the matter at hand... Now, everything seems to have settled, and so, once again, I am left with some spare time on my hands. So, it's back to my blogging days.
And for those who bore with me through my "cribbing about my new employer all the time" phase - thanks. I promise, the upcoming blogs wont be so boring (or whiny for that matter!).
:D
But, hey - if you think I'm done writing about my employer and their cheapskate tactics - your mistaken. There is a loooooooooooooooooooooot of stuff I wanna let the world know about em!!!
;)
I reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally mean it ...
I know I haven't written any blogs in a while. (A quick check tells me that my last post was on 17-Sept-2008).
But, hey, I've been busy as hell.
Finally, I've been alloted to a decent project (atleast that's what I am led to believe ... So far atleast!) at my work. I can't talk about the client and the nature of my project for obvious reasons (read as thanks to an NDA with the client!).
And over and above that, I've been trying my hand at Freelancing. And I must say - I just looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove it. The work is mind blowing. I learnt a loooooooooooot of stuff about sales and marketing, pitching in front of customers, cold calling, preparing bids, etc - and all this in the last 3 weeks alone!
And guess what - I even made a neat $100 for my efforts. I know it aint much compared to what I make at my employers - but, hey - the experience alone is worth a million bucks.
Anyways, enough ranting about all that. Lets get back to the matter at hand... Now, everything seems to have settled, and so, once again, I am left with some spare time on my hands. So, it's back to my blogging days.
And for those who bore with me through my "cribbing about my new employer all the time" phase - thanks. I promise, the upcoming blogs wont be so boring (or whiny for that matter!).
:D
But, hey - if you think I'm done writing about my employer and their cheapskate tactics - your mistaken. There is a loooooooooooooooooooooot of stuff I wanna let the world know about em!!!
;)
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Marketing - Lesson 101
I found this mail forward hilarious to the core. So, I decided to post it here!
====================================================================================================================================
A Professor at one of the IIM's ( INDIA ) was explaining marketing concepts to the Students:-
1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and
say: "I am very rich. Marry me!"
- That's Direct Marketing
2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl.
One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says: "He's very rich. Marry him."
- That's Advertising
3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her
telephone number. The next day, you call and say: "Hi, I'm very rich.. Marry me."
- That's Telemarketing
4. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten
your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the
door (of the car)for her, pick up her bag after she drops it,
offer her ride and then say: By the way, I'm rich. Will you marry me?"
- That's Public Relations
5. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and
says: You are very rich! Can you marry ! me?"
- That's Brand Recognition
6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say:
I am very rich. Marry me!" She gives you a nice hard slap on your face.
- That's Customer Feedback
7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say:
"I am very rich. Marry me!" And she introduces you to her husband.
- That's demand and supply gap
8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say
anything, another person come and tell her: "I'm rich. Will you marry me?"
and she goes with him.
- That's competition eating into your market share
9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before
you say: "I'm rich, Marry me!" your wife arrives.
- That's restriction for entering new markets
====================================================================================================================================
====================================================================================================================================
A Professor at one of the IIM's ( INDIA ) was explaining marketing concepts to the Students:-
1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and
say: "I am very rich. Marry me!"
- That's Direct Marketing
2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl.
One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says: "He's very rich. Marry him."
- That's Advertising
3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her
telephone number. The next day, you call and say: "Hi, I'm very rich.. Marry me."
- That's Telemarketing
4. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten
your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the
door (of the car)for her, pick up her bag after she drops it,
offer her ride and then say: By the way, I'm rich. Will you marry me?"
- That's Public Relations
5. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and
says: You are very rich! Can you marry ! me?"
- That's Brand Recognition
6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say:
I am very rich. Marry me!" She gives you a nice hard slap on your face.
- That's Customer Feedback
7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say:
"I am very rich. Marry me!" And she introduces you to her husband.
- That's demand and supply gap
8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say
anything, another person come and tell her: "I'm rich. Will you marry me?"
and she goes with him.
- That's competition eating into your market share
9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before
you say: "I'm rich, Marry me!" your wife arrives.
- That's restriction for entering new markets
====================================================================================================================================
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Pallavi's Marriage Reception
Unfortunately, I woke up late (11.30 am to the exact) and I missed Pallu's marriage. So, I went for the reception instead.
Pallu was looking red hot in her designer Sari ... Vivek looked equally handsome (Stud like even!) ... On the whole - they make a sweet pair.
WISHING YOU TWO ALL THE VERY BEST FOR THE FUTURE!!!
Crap ... I got carried away ... AGAIN!!!
The main reason for me writing this blog was not to congratulate Pallu and Vivek, but to discuss about a Himalayan blunder of mine - My Dressing Sense!
Well ... I'll be honest with you guys - I am not very good at dressing for an occasion. (Guys who know me would be shaking their heads right now!!!)
I just pick up whatever is right on top of my clothes pile and voila - I'm ready for any occasion - be it a party, or office, or the gym!
With the same approach, I went for Pallu's reception. FYI - I was wearing a really faded orange "Tommy Hilfiger" shirt and rugged and worn-out Black "Ecko" cargoes. To give myself some credit, I am most comfortable in cargoes and a loose shirt, and that's why I decided to go ahead with it.
But, when I reached the destination (Hotel Renaissance), the magnitude of my folly hit me like a rock!
This was a function organized by a rich doctor. All the people who had come there were bigwigs in one way or the other. And besides - this was more of a formal occasion.
Everyone was dressed tip-top in the most expensive stuff money could buy. And there I was - in my silly little outfit - sticking out like a sore thumb.
Pallu ... Just so that you know - That was one of the main reasons I bailed out at the earliest opportunity. Sorry about that darling!
:(
I'll tell you what - the next big function that you organize (naming ceremony of your triplets!) - I'll come dressed like a king. Deal?
:)
Pallu was looking red hot in her designer Sari ... Vivek looked equally handsome (Stud like even!) ... On the whole - they make a sweet pair.
WISHING YOU TWO ALL THE VERY BEST FOR THE FUTURE!!!
Crap ... I got carried away ... AGAIN!!!
The main reason for me writing this blog was not to congratulate Pallu and Vivek, but to discuss about a Himalayan blunder of mine - My Dressing Sense!
Well ... I'll be honest with you guys - I am not very good at dressing for an occasion. (Guys who know me would be shaking their heads right now!!!)
I just pick up whatever is right on top of my clothes pile and voila - I'm ready for any occasion - be it a party, or office, or the gym!
With the same approach, I went for Pallu's reception. FYI - I was wearing a really faded orange "Tommy Hilfiger" shirt and rugged and worn-out Black "Ecko" cargoes. To give myself some credit, I am most comfortable in cargoes and a loose shirt, and that's why I decided to go ahead with it.
But, when I reached the destination (Hotel Renaissance), the magnitude of my folly hit me like a rock!
This was a function organized by a rich doctor. All the people who had come there were bigwigs in one way or the other. And besides - this was more of a formal occasion.
Everyone was dressed tip-top in the most expensive stuff money could buy. And there I was - in my silly little outfit - sticking out like a sore thumb.
Pallu ... Just so that you know - That was one of the main reasons I bailed out at the earliest opportunity. Sorry about that darling!
:(
I'll tell you what - the next big function that you organize (naming ceremony of your triplets!) - I'll come dressed like a king. Deal?
:)
Pallavi's Doppelgänger
Me, Faaiz, Daniella, and her boyfriend Tariq had gone over to Pallavi's paternal grandparents house for a function on Friday (05-Sept-2008). And that's where I saw Pallavi Doppelgänger.
Seriously, that's the only term that would do justice to the person I saw that day. Pallavi, wearing Sari, pretending to be this "ayoo-paavamm" types person, all shy, obedient ... I could go on and on - but - you get the general idea don't you!
Heck, this doppelgänger even ushered us out when we mentioned the words party (or was it booze?).
This is sooooooooooooooooooooooooo not the Pallavi I know!
Honestly, it was hillarious, and at the same time scary!
:D
A few other things that I looked forward to - when I went for the function - is meeting some good looking girls (which btw pallavi had promised would be there!). And guess what - the only "ladies" that I saw at the function were 50 year old Aunties or 15 year old Kids.
:(
(Pallavi, I'm going to break your leg for this treachery!)
But, this blog wouldn't be complete without describing how gorgeous Pallu looked in Sari. Seriously ... Although it was a culture shock for me to see Pallu in a saree, she totally carried it off. I don't know whether it was the saree (which looked totally expensive btw) or it was Pallu's charisma - but together - they rocked!!!
And yeah ... Before I forget - One more thing I realized that day is that Pallu is filthy rich, and that her dad has really influential friends!!!
(That was pretty evident from the size of her house, and the host of Mercedes Benz E series cars, Audi A-8's, Scoda Superb's and Honda Accord's lined up outside Pallu's house that night. I noticed bigwigs like Riyaz Ahamed - Owner of the Abad Group of Industries - were also part of the guest list that night.)
Vivek you lucky bastard ... You got a hot wife and a father in-law that's rich and influential ... What more could you ask for mate!!!
:)
Seriously, that's the only term that would do justice to the person I saw that day. Pallavi, wearing Sari, pretending to be this "ayoo-paavamm" types person, all shy, obedient ... I could go on and on - but - you get the general idea don't you!
Heck, this doppelgänger even ushered us out when we mentioned the words party (or was it booze?).
This is sooooooooooooooooooooooooo not the Pallavi I know!
Honestly, it was hillarious, and at the same time scary!
:D
A few other things that I looked forward to - when I went for the function - is meeting some good looking girls (which btw pallavi had promised would be there!). And guess what - the only "ladies" that I saw at the function were 50 year old Aunties or 15 year old Kids.
:(
(Pallavi, I'm going to break your leg for this treachery!)
But, this blog wouldn't be complete without describing how gorgeous Pallu looked in Sari. Seriously ... Although it was a culture shock for me to see Pallu in a saree, she totally carried it off. I don't know whether it was the saree (which looked totally expensive btw) or it was Pallu's charisma - but together - they rocked!!!
And yeah ... Before I forget - One more thing I realized that day is that Pallu is filthy rich, and that her dad has really influential friends!!!
(That was pretty evident from the size of her house, and the host of Mercedes Benz E series cars, Audi A-8's, Scoda Superb's and Honda Accord's lined up outside Pallu's house that night. I noticed bigwigs like Riyaz Ahamed - Owner of the Abad Group of Industries - were also part of the guest list that night.)
Vivek you lucky bastard ... You got a hot wife and a father in-law that's rich and influential ... What more could you ask for mate!!!
:)
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Visual Ecstasy
Here are a few links I think you guys (and lesbian girls) might enjoy ...
It's from some Chineese bloggers website (And so I took the liberty of running it via Google Translator). I don't recall how i ended up there, but this guy seems to have a Photograph Fetish. But hey - Don't get me wrong - I definitely ain't complaining!!!
I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE what I see there ...
;)
1. One
2. Two
3. Three
4. Four
5. Five
6. Six
7. Seven
It's from some Chineese bloggers website (And so I took the liberty of running it via Google Translator). I don't recall how i ended up there, but this guy seems to have a Photograph Fetish. But hey - Don't get me wrong - I definitely ain't complaining!!!
I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE what I see there ...
;)
1. One
2. Two
3. Three
4. Four
5. Five
6. Six
7. Seven
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Being On This Team Is Expensive
As you already know, I recently shifted organizations. And the team that I joined is not exactly the most friendly, or warm, or even helpful for that matter, of the numerous teams I've worked with in my 3.5 years of work life.
And guess what? Today, one guy asks me to come over to his desk and then tells me that 3 people are getting married in the team (1 fellow has already left the organization) and they've got them gift vouchers, and I have to chip in too. Okay ... So far so good. I've chipped in for parties, and gifts in the past too. "Heck - I might even be able use this opportunity to break the ice" I thought to myself.
But, when he told me the "Chip In" component was Rs. 875/- I wasn't very enthused about the whole deal. I mean come on ... Would you spend 875 bucks to pay for gifts you didn't have any say on (I wasn't even informed of the whole idea of getting gifts for the soon-to-be-married-fellas), and that too for people who's last name you don't know. And with any luck - I'll be released from this team in another one/two weeks time. That makes it even less attractive for me to pay up such a high premium in the name of compliance!
Well ... Heck - I don't want to break the ice that badly ... Not at this price tag anyways!!!
I spoke to mom and dad about this incident. Dad, told me to just pay up and get it over with.
Mom, was in two minds - half of her wanting to avoid any sort of conflict at work, and the other half not wanting to part with so much money!
Well ... At the end of the day - It still is my decision. And as of now (11.29 PM on 1-Aug-2008), my decision is NOT to pay up!!!
In the rarest of cases that I change my mind - I'll let you folks know for sure!
And guess what? Today, one guy asks me to come over to his desk and then tells me that 3 people are getting married in the team (1 fellow has already left the organization) and they've got them gift vouchers, and I have to chip in too. Okay ... So far so good. I've chipped in for parties, and gifts in the past too. "Heck - I might even be able use this opportunity to break the ice" I thought to myself.
But, when he told me the "Chip In" component was Rs. 875/- I wasn't very enthused about the whole deal. I mean come on ... Would you spend 875 bucks to pay for gifts you didn't have any say on (I wasn't even informed of the whole idea of getting gifts for the soon-to-be-married-fellas), and that too for people who's last name you don't know. And with any luck - I'll be released from this team in another one/two weeks time. That makes it even less attractive for me to pay up such a high premium in the name of compliance!
Well ... Heck - I don't want to break the ice that badly ... Not at this price tag anyways!!!
I spoke to mom and dad about this incident. Dad, told me to just pay up and get it over with.
Mom, was in two minds - half of her wanting to avoid any sort of conflict at work, and the other half not wanting to part with so much money!
Well ... At the end of the day - It still is my decision. And as of now (11.29 PM on 1-Aug-2008), my decision is NOT to pay up!!!
In the rarest of cases that I change my mind - I'll let you folks know for sure!
A Fishing Expedition
I went fishing during my recent Kumarakom trip. That to me was the highlight of the trip. Correction - That to me was the only highlight of the trip!
After spending about 1.5 hrs "trying" - I finally caught the slippery little bastard. A yellow coloured fish - I can't recall what species it was - but who cares, it's a "catch" nevertheless.
The experience was a lot of fun I must say. I look forward to doing it again sometime soon.
(Anyone interested in joining me - drop me a call)
After spending about 1.5 hrs "trying" - I finally caught the slippery little bastard. A yellow coloured fish - I can't recall what species it was - but who cares, it's a "catch" nevertheless.
The experience was a lot of fun I must say. I look forward to doing it again sometime soon.
(Anyone interested in joining me - drop me a call)
Where Did They All Go
Thanks to hanging out with my best friend Chery, I got a chance to view the "Illegal Street Racing" community in Bangalore up close and firsthand. And take my word for it - things will never be the same again for me. I spent each of my Saturday nights living life "The Fast and Furious" style. The rest of the week I spent anticipating the upcoming Saturday night.
But, after coming to Cochin, I haven't seen a modified car - let alone a race car. And slowly, the reality is sinking in - That Cochin doesn't have an "Underground" crowd.
Honestly - I'm beginning to miss the adrenaline rush that you get whilst racing (Heck - I think I might be addicted to it!). So much, that I'm thinking (more like planning) a trip to Bangalore so that I go Drag Racing again.
Chery - next time I'm in Bangalore - you're going to have to take me out on a "Drag Night". And I'm not taking "No" for an answer.
(Read as I don't care if you've got "Other Plans" for the evening with a certain "Special Friend" of yours!)
;)
But, after coming to Cochin, I haven't seen a modified car - let alone a race car. And slowly, the reality is sinking in - That Cochin doesn't have an "Underground" crowd.
Honestly - I'm beginning to miss the adrenaline rush that you get whilst racing (Heck - I think I might be addicted to it!). So much, that I'm thinking (more like planning) a trip to Bangalore so that I go Drag Racing again.
Chery - next time I'm in Bangalore - you're going to have to take me out on a "Drag Night". And I'm not taking "No" for an answer.
(Read as I don't care if you've got "Other Plans" for the evening with a certain "Special Friend" of yours!)
;)
Life is (Not) Beautiful
Of late, my life has been pretty dull. I don't step out of home for anything. Partly because there is no place to go, and the remainder because there is no one to go anywhere with.
So, to cut a long story short, I'm in a self imposed house arrest.
With any luck, the tides will turn soon, and I will once again go back to my "rocking" self!
;)
So, to cut a long story short, I'm in a self imposed house arrest.
With any luck, the tides will turn soon, and I will once again go back to my "rocking" self!
;)
Does Being An NRI Come With Extra Baggages
I wonder ... Does being an NRI come with extra baggages? For example stuff like - Staying only at 5 star hotels and resorts, Splurging on exotic overseas holidays every now and then, Drinking only Mineral Water, Flexing your financial muscle in front of others, Buying a luxury sedan/SUV and then bragging to everyone about your car having a bright-green neon headlight that no one else has, Acting as if the rest of the world is from Somalia while your from the Big Apple, etc, etc, etc.
Or is it just that you get so used to the luxuries that your NRI salary can afford - that you can't dream of living without them?
I ain't one today, so I don't know for sure. But, someday, I will be. And when that day arrives - I hope to find out!!!
Or is it just that you get so used to the luxuries that your NRI salary can afford - that you can't dream of living without them?
I ain't one today, so I don't know for sure. But, someday, I will be. And when that day arrives - I hope to find out!!!
What Does It Mean When A Girl Says
What does a girl mean when she says - "I like you a lot ... I just loooooooooooooooooove talking with/being around you ..."
Does it mean - "Take the next step and make advances on me you fool ... Can't you see I'm giving you the green signal!!!"
Or does it - "I see where you are going with all this. But, I just want to be friends with you. So, I'm giving you all this gyaan to thwart your further steps!!!"
Or does it not mean anything in specific???
I'm very confused!!!
:(
If any of you readers are women - Please help me interpret the statements above will ya.
After all - as the wise say - "It Takes A Woman To Understand Another Woman!"
Thanks in advance darlings ... I'll owe you one!!!
Does it mean - "Take the next step and make advances on me you fool ... Can't you see I'm giving you the green signal!!!"
Or does it - "I see where you are going with all this. But, I just want to be friends with you. So, I'm giving you all this gyaan to thwart your further steps!!!"
Or does it not mean anything in specific???
I'm very confused!!!
:(
If any of you readers are women - Please help me interpret the statements above will ya.
After all - as the wise say - "It Takes A Woman To Understand Another Woman!"
Thanks in advance darlings ... I'll owe you one!!!
My Bike Aint Running On Petrol - It's Drinking It
One of the primary reasons I decided to buy my bike - A Hero Honda Glamour - is because I read reviews that it gave a mileage of around 70 km/ltr. But, boy was I mistaken. It never gave me that much mileage - although I must say - In the start I used to get around 50 km/ltr - 55 km/ltr depending on my driving style/traffic conditions.
But, off late, I've only been getting 25 km/ltr - 30 km/ltr, and that plain sucks!
I understand I don't always drive at 40 km/hr, but 30 km/ltr??? Even a Karizma gives more mileage than that!!!
:(
Anyways ... I'm gonna stick around with her for a few more months - and then I'll auction off the junk!
Anyone interested in buying a Hero Honda Glamour real cheap - Drop me a mail/scrap/msg/ping/comment ... I accept Paypal, Credit Card, Bank Transfer, Cheques, Demand Drafts, Money Order, Stock Options, etc ...
(In short - I accept anything except and "I-Owe-You")
;)
But, off late, I've only been getting 25 km/ltr - 30 km/ltr, and that plain sucks!
I understand I don't always drive at 40 km/hr, but 30 km/ltr??? Even a Karizma gives more mileage than that!!!
:(
Anyways ... I'm gonna stick around with her for a few more months - and then I'll auction off the junk!
Anyone interested in buying a Hero Honda Glamour real cheap - Drop me a mail/scrap/msg/ping/comment ... I accept Paypal, Credit Card, Bank Transfer, Cheques, Demand Drafts, Money Order, Stock Options, etc ...
(In short - I accept anything except and "I-Owe-You")
;)
25th Wedding Anniversary
It's my parents 25th Wedding Anniversary today (28-Aug-2008), and we're celebrating it in style. The whole family is getting together for the event. It's going to be so much fun.
:)
The plans are, at the moment atleast, to head over to the "Abad Whispering Palms" resort at Kumarakom around 5 pm and spend the time relaxing. Tomorrow, we'll be spending the day in a house boat sailing through the backwaters of Kumarakom. In the evening, we'll crash on luxury houseboat anchored somewhere near the coast.
I know ... I don't sound so ultra eager about the whole deal. This is for two reasons ... Okay - make that three:
1. Me and my bro are the only two singles on board the ship. And the whole idea of this trip is romance. My parents, cousins and relatives who are coming along with us on this trip are all equipped to romance (read as they're married and hence have a partners!), whereas me and Appu (that's my bro) will be stuck for 2 days surrounded by miles and miles of water!
2. The second USP of the whole boating fiasco is the opportunity to get drunk. But, unfortunately for me, my parents, my Valliamma (Mom's Eldest Sister) and family, and Ravi Etta's (My first cousin - Valliamma son) In-Laws are also joining us for the trip. I can't afford to drink in front of them! My Mom and Valliamma and Valliachha (Valliamma's husband) would screw my happiness for the rest of my living days if I did that! So, rule that option out as well!
3. It's too much water for me. Seriously, I prefer land activities to doing stuff on water. And, if I want to be surrounded by water - I'd dive into a swimming pool than be stuck at sea. Thank you very much!
So, to sum it up - I can't fuck anyone, nor can I get drunk, and the thought that the nearest island is a good 30 miles away is "Not So Very Comforting".
HOW FUCKING WONDERFUL!!!
But, Mom and Dad seemed very excited about the whole idea of the whole family getting together (and the romantic element a whole day of boating offered too) as did Ravi Etta. So, I didn't want to be a party pooper (I hate myself for being so soft!) and decided to play along.
So, friends - When I get back - If you don't find any further posts about my Kumarkom trip - You'll understand right!
(For those who are not so understanding - Go Stuff Yourselves!)
:)
The plans are, at the moment atleast, to head over to the "Abad Whispering Palms" resort at Kumarakom around 5 pm and spend the time relaxing. Tomorrow, we'll be spending the day in a house boat sailing through the backwaters of Kumarakom. In the evening, we'll crash on luxury houseboat anchored somewhere near the coast.
I know ... I don't sound so ultra eager about the whole deal. This is for two reasons ... Okay - make that three:
1. Me and my bro are the only two singles on board the ship. And the whole idea of this trip is romance. My parents, cousins and relatives who are coming along with us on this trip are all equipped to romance (read as they're married and hence have a partners!), whereas me and Appu (that's my bro) will be stuck for 2 days surrounded by miles and miles of water!
2. The second USP of the whole boating fiasco is the opportunity to get drunk. But, unfortunately for me, my parents, my Valliamma (Mom's Eldest Sister) and family, and Ravi Etta's (My first cousin - Valliamma son) In-Laws are also joining us for the trip. I can't afford to drink in front of them! My Mom and Valliamma and Valliachha (Valliamma's husband) would screw my happiness for the rest of my living days if I did that! So, rule that option out as well!
3. It's too much water for me. Seriously, I prefer land activities to doing stuff on water. And, if I want to be surrounded by water - I'd dive into a swimming pool than be stuck at sea. Thank you very much!
So, to sum it up - I can't fuck anyone, nor can I get drunk, and the thought that the nearest island is a good 30 miles away is "Not So Very Comforting".
HOW FUCKING WONDERFUL!!!
But, Mom and Dad seemed very excited about the whole idea of the whole family getting together (and the romantic element a whole day of boating offered too) as did Ravi Etta. So, I didn't want to be a party pooper (I hate myself for being so soft!) and decided to play along.
So, friends - When I get back - If you don't find any further posts about my Kumarkom trip - You'll understand right!
(For those who are not so understanding - Go Stuff Yourselves!)
Most Gorgeous Bond Girl
No doubt about it - Jane Seymour of "Live and Let Die" fame is the most good looking Bond Girl to date. Just google for her and you'll agree with me!
The Name's Bond .... James Bond ... Dishkkuuummmmm
I have a DVD collection of all the James Bond movies released so far. I caught on to the James Bond fever post the release of the movie "Die Another Day". Unfortunately though, I haven't gotten the time to watch any of them. That's to a relaxed work load at my new employer, I've been catching up on all the movies I can.
I saw these movies over the last couple of days:
1. Licence To Kill
2. The Living Daylights
3. From Russia With Love
4. Diamons are Forever
5. Goldfinger
None of the movies are as hi-tech or engrossing as the Pierce Brosnan starrers. But, to give them some credit, they were technological masterpieces of their own era.
Of all the actors who've played James Bond (Timothy Dalton, Roger Moore, Sean Connery, Pierce Brosnan, Daniel Craig) I think Sean Connery is the best fit. He's got a flamboyant mix of looks, style, charm, charisma and toughness. In short - he's got what James Bond's got!
Anyways ... I wanna try and catch another James Bond flick - "Live and Let Die" starring Roger Moore - before I hit the sack tonight.
So - to the rest of the world - Good Night ... Sweet Dreams!!!
I saw these movies over the last couple of days:
1. Licence To Kill
2. The Living Daylights
3. From Russia With Love
4. Diamons are Forever
5. Goldfinger
None of the movies are as hi-tech or engrossing as the Pierce Brosnan starrers. But, to give them some credit, they were technological masterpieces of their own era.
Of all the actors who've played James Bond (Timothy Dalton, Roger Moore, Sean Connery, Pierce Brosnan, Daniel Craig) I think Sean Connery is the best fit. He's got a flamboyant mix of looks, style, charm, charisma and toughness. In short - he's got what James Bond's got!
Anyways ... I wanna try and catch another James Bond flick - "Live and Let Die" starring Roger Moore - before I hit the sack tonight.
So - to the rest of the world - Good Night ... Sweet Dreams!!!
I'm Totally Tripping On This Stuff
I just wanted to drop a post here to say that the stuff mentioned in the book "The Game" (Neil Strauss) works. I tried one of the stunts mentioned in it - and the results were mind blowing. I wont go into the details here (for privacy reasons ofcourse) - but just TRUST ME on this one!!!
I'd gonna read, read it again, and then re-read it once more. Heck - I'm even going to take notes from now on.
And oh - I any of you gals (yes ... just the gurlz!) notice any major/sudden "differences" in me - well - that's what the whole deal is all about honey!
;)
So - Let me get back to my Learning Lessons ... I meant Reading Sessions ... Yaaaaahoooooooooooooooo!!!
I'd gonna read, read it again, and then re-read it once more. Heck - I'm even going to take notes from now on.
And oh - I any of you gals (yes ... just the gurlz!) notice any major/sudden "differences" in me - well - that's what the whole deal is all about honey!
;)
So - Let me get back to my Learning Lessons ... I meant Reading Sessions ... Yaaaaahoooooooooooooooo!!!
Movie Review - Tare Zameen Par
Finally, I got to watch Tare Zameen Par today (24-Aug-08). And I must say - it's worth the wait. The movie cries out that its a Aamir Khan movie all throughtout. It's that perfect.
Rock Solid Script, Spectacular Screenplay, Mind-Blowing Acting, Scintillating Music, Touching Background Scores, A Very Touching Topic - The pefect formula for a perfect movie.
All I can say here is - I just looooooooooooooooooooooooved the movie. I would even dare to say it's one of the best movies I've seen to date.
On a scale of 1 to 5 - I rate this movie a perfect 5.
:)
Hats off to you Aamir Khan ... Hats off!!!
Rock Solid Script, Spectacular Screenplay, Mind-Blowing Acting, Scintillating Music, Touching Background Scores, A Very Touching Topic - The pefect formula for a perfect movie.
All I can say here is - I just looooooooooooooooooooooooved the movie. I would even dare to say it's one of the best movies I've seen to date.
On a scale of 1 to 5 - I rate this movie a perfect 5.
:)
Hats off to you Aamir Khan ... Hats off!!!
Food For Thought
After I saw the movie Bachna Ae Haseeno, two questions popped into my mind:
(((1))) Why are men always so afraid of commitment, whereas women like to commit?
(((2))) If we've broken anyone's heart (read as split in a nasty fashion, dumped someone, broke up impromptu, cheated, etc) - and the wrong was (primarily) from our end - Should we apoligize to them?
For Point # 1, I have no clue. Being a man myself who has a morbid fear of commitment - however small or big it be - I don't think I am the right person to comment on this. But, what the heck, I'll take a shot in the dark.
What I believe to be the reasons for my fear of commitment are - The fear of allowing someone else to decide things for you. The fear of having to live up to someone elses expectations. The fear of monotony. The fear of having to do things to keep someone else - other than you - happy and smiling. The fear of waking up to the same person forever. The fear of having to share even when you dont want to. The fear of rules. The fear of 'One'gina!
In Short - The Fear Of Loosing Control Over My Life!!!
I'm sure many guys think like me. For those who don't - Wish You A Happy Married Life!!!
;)
As for Point # 2, the more I think about it - the more I think you should apologize if you've broken anyone's heart in the past. Ofcourse you had your reasons why you did it. Maybe you were plain scared. Maybe you were angry. Maybe you were taking revenge. But whatever it be - It doesn't hurt to say Sorry does it?
For now, I'm gonna go back and ponder if I've hurt anyone till date. If yes - I'm gonna go ahead and apologize to them right away ...
Till then - Adieus Amigos!
(((1))) Why are men always so afraid of commitment, whereas women like to commit?
(((2))) If we've broken anyone's heart (read as split in a nasty fashion, dumped someone, broke up impromptu, cheated, etc) - and the wrong was (primarily) from our end - Should we apoligize to them?
For Point # 1, I have no clue. Being a man myself who has a morbid fear of commitment - however small or big it be - I don't think I am the right person to comment on this. But, what the heck, I'll take a shot in the dark.
What I believe to be the reasons for my fear of commitment are - The fear of allowing someone else to decide things for you. The fear of having to live up to someone elses expectations. The fear of monotony. The fear of having to do things to keep someone else - other than you - happy and smiling. The fear of waking up to the same person forever. The fear of having to share even when you dont want to. The fear of rules. The fear of 'One'gina!
In Short - The Fear Of Loosing Control Over My Life!!!
I'm sure many guys think like me. For those who don't - Wish You A Happy Married Life!!!
;)
As for Point # 2, the more I think about it - the more I think you should apologize if you've broken anyone's heart in the past. Ofcourse you had your reasons why you did it. Maybe you were plain scared. Maybe you were angry. Maybe you were taking revenge. But whatever it be - It doesn't hurt to say Sorry does it?
For now, I'm gonna go back and ponder if I've hurt anyone till date. If yes - I'm gonna go ahead and apologize to them right away ...
Till then - Adieus Amigos!
Credit Card Reviews
Over the last 3 years, I've used a lot of credit cards. This, unfortunately, goes to show that I have poor financial planning. But, these days, I am waaaaaaaaaaaay better off in terms of my money management skills. So well wishers - relax. I wont come knocking at your doors asking you to bail me out of my debt crisis!
;)
I'm gonna take this opportunity to talk about the pros and cons of the cards I've used so far.
~~~~~~~~~
Manhattan
~~~~~~~~~
Pros:
.1. It comes with a 1 year free "Manhattan Club Membership". This membership entails you to a lot of smooth and saucy offers. Like invites to Page 3 events, hassle-free booking of Movie Tickets - and that too on the opening day, good offers, etc.
.2. Balance Transferring on this card is a joy. Unlike other credit card companies, Manhattan assigns a new account number to your Balance Transfer requests. Therefore, you can shop on your card while you still have a balance transfer ongoing with them. When you make the payment - you get to specify how much percentage of the amount being paid goes to which account.
.3. Manhattan Credit Card Bill Payment Drop Boxes were scattered across the city. Also, one could drop the cheques at Standard Chartered ATM's. Ergo, repayment dues was a hassle free process.
Cons:
.1. My credit limit was pretty low - only Rs. 15,000/-. So, I found it inconvenient when I wanted to use my credit card for transactions of a larger value.
.2. After the first year, one has to pay Rs. 750/- if you want to continue the "Manhattan Club Membership".
~~~~~~~~~~~
HDFC Silver
~~~~~~~~~~~
Pros:
.1. Petrol Surcharge waivered at HP petrol pumps.
Cons:
.1. Credit Limit was lower still - only Rs. 20,000/-. So, I found it inconvenient when I wanted to use my credit card for transactions of a larger value.
.2. No special offers, nor discounts, etc offered on this card.
~~~~~~~~~
HSBC Gold
~~~~~~~~~
Pros:
.1. Prompt and very friendly customer service.
.2. Give a lot of importance to customer having a "Wonderful Experience".
.3. A grace period of 2 - 3 days permitted for Credit card repayment.
.4. 0 % Interest Balance transfer option available.
.5. Customer Service also features a feature loaded IVR system. This avoids the need to wait for a Customer Service Representative to be available.
.6. Online Banking available.
.7. Attractive gifts available while redeeming Reward Points.
Cons:
.1. Credit Limit is not enhanced even if the customer is a long standing one.
.2. If you avail the balance transfer option, any purchases done on the card will attract an interest component, @ 3% p.m, of the total retail purchase value - till the time the outstanding on the balance transfer is not cleared. In effect, it becomes suicidal to shop on you HSBC card if you have availed/plan to avail a Balance Transfer option.
~~~
SBI
~~~
Pros:
.1. Railway Ticket Booking - 2nd A/C upwards - entitles you to a discount of 10%
.2. Credit Limit is higher - Rs. 68,000/-
Cons:
.1. Very inefficient, rude, and defunt customer service.
.2. Doesn't give importance to customer experience.
.3. Drop Boxes are far and few in between.
.4. Can't drop credit card payment cheques at SBI ATM's.
~~~~~~~~~
HDFC Gold
~~~~~~~~~
Pros:
.1. Higher Credit Limit
.2. Membership to a variety of offers/discounts schemes with various vendors across cities.
.3. Online Banking available.
Cons:
.1. Billing Statements are not sent on time.
~~~~~
ICICI
~~~~~
Pros:
.1. Online Banking Available
.2. Very friendly customer service
.3. Option to link Savings-Banking-Demat-Credit Card-and-Loan Account.
.4. Mobile Banking possible.
.5. Online Bill Payment options available.
Cons:
.1. Credit Limit slightly lower than needed - Rs. 70,000/-
~~~~~~~~~
CITI Gold
~~~~~~~~~
Pros:
.1. 1% Cash Back on all purchases
.2. Very High Credit Limit - Rs. 1,20,000/-
.3. Options to increase credit limit over phone.
Cons:
.1. Repayment cheques have to be dropped only at CITI Bank ATM's - which are far and few in between.
;)
I'm gonna take this opportunity to talk about the pros and cons of the cards I've used so far.
~~~~~~~~~
Manhattan
~~~~~~~~~
Pros:
.1. It comes with a 1 year free "Manhattan Club Membership". This membership entails you to a lot of smooth and saucy offers. Like invites to Page 3 events, hassle-free booking of Movie Tickets - and that too on the opening day, good offers, etc.
.2. Balance Transferring on this card is a joy. Unlike other credit card companies, Manhattan assigns a new account number to your Balance Transfer requests. Therefore, you can shop on your card while you still have a balance transfer ongoing with them. When you make the payment - you get to specify how much percentage of the amount being paid goes to which account.
.3. Manhattan Credit Card Bill Payment Drop Boxes were scattered across the city. Also, one could drop the cheques at Standard Chartered ATM's. Ergo, repayment dues was a hassle free process.
Cons:
.1. My credit limit was pretty low - only Rs. 15,000/-. So, I found it inconvenient when I wanted to use my credit card for transactions of a larger value.
.2. After the first year, one has to pay Rs. 750/- if you want to continue the "Manhattan Club Membership".
~~~~~~~~~~~
HDFC Silver
~~~~~~~~~~~
Pros:
.1. Petrol Surcharge waivered at HP petrol pumps.
Cons:
.1. Credit Limit was lower still - only Rs. 20,000/-. So, I found it inconvenient when I wanted to use my credit card for transactions of a larger value.
.2. No special offers, nor discounts, etc offered on this card.
~~~~~~~~~
HSBC Gold
~~~~~~~~~
Pros:
.1. Prompt and very friendly customer service.
.2. Give a lot of importance to customer having a "Wonderful Experience".
.3. A grace period of 2 - 3 days permitted for Credit card repayment.
.4. 0 % Interest Balance transfer option available.
.5. Customer Service also features a feature loaded IVR system. This avoids the need to wait for a Customer Service Representative to be available.
.6. Online Banking available.
.7. Attractive gifts available while redeeming Reward Points.
Cons:
.1. Credit Limit is not enhanced even if the customer is a long standing one.
.2. If you avail the balance transfer option, any purchases done on the card will attract an interest component, @ 3% p.m, of the total retail purchase value - till the time the outstanding on the balance transfer is not cleared. In effect, it becomes suicidal to shop on you HSBC card if you have availed/plan to avail a Balance Transfer option.
~~~
SBI
~~~
Pros:
.1. Railway Ticket Booking - 2nd A/C upwards - entitles you to a discount of 10%
.2. Credit Limit is higher - Rs. 68,000/-
Cons:
.1. Very inefficient, rude, and defunt customer service.
.2. Doesn't give importance to customer experience.
.3. Drop Boxes are far and few in between.
.4. Can't drop credit card payment cheques at SBI ATM's.
~~~~~~~~~
HDFC Gold
~~~~~~~~~
Pros:
.1. Higher Credit Limit
.2. Membership to a variety of offers/discounts schemes with various vendors across cities.
.3. Online Banking available.
Cons:
.1. Billing Statements are not sent on time.
~~~~~
ICICI
~~~~~
Pros:
.1. Online Banking Available
.2. Very friendly customer service
.3. Option to link Savings-Banking-Demat-Credit Card-and-Loan Account.
.4. Mobile Banking possible.
.5. Online Bill Payment options available.
Cons:
.1. Credit Limit slightly lower than needed - Rs. 70,000/-
~~~~~~~~~
CITI Gold
~~~~~~~~~
Pros:
.1. 1% Cash Back on all purchases
.2. Very High Credit Limit - Rs. 1,20,000/-
.3. Options to increase credit limit over phone.
Cons:
.1. Repayment cheques have to be dropped only at CITI Bank ATM's - which are far and few in between.
Change Is The Only Thing Constant
I've heard this a million times. Heck - I've even advocated this a lot. But ever since my move from Bangalore to Cochin (thanks to my moving companies - again!), I've been struggling to cope up with the changes!
I can no drink whenever I want. I can no longer eat whenever I want. I can no longer play music at blaringly-high volume - All this thanks to having moved back in with my parents!
I can no longer sleep till 10 o clock. I can no longer check Orkut as often as I want. I can no longer check my personal mails whenever I want. I no longer smile as much as I want - All this thanks to the situation at my new company/office!
I can no longer go babe watching. I can no longer kill time by going to a mall. I can no longer visit a Landmark or Odessey or Crossword store to spend a few hours picking up books. I can no longer hang out with friend and catch up on gossip (Yes - Men too gossip!). I can no longer smile at a total stranger and not get a shmuck look back. I can no longer shop and claim I had a wonderful experience. I can no longer work out a a health club as classy as Chisel - All this thanks to Cochin not being as hi-tech as Bangalore.
I've been trying really hard for the last 21 days. And I think I'm doing a good job of adjusting to most of the things. But, at times, I really begin to feel - I wish I should've just clung on whatever I had when I was in Bangalore and not have been greedy about things like career, money, ambitions, etc.
But, what the heck ... This is not the first time in my life things, or cities, or companies for that matter are changing. I bore the brunt of changes many times before. I don't see why this is going to be any different.
At the end of the day, I believe it's just a matter of time. Just Time ....
I guess I'm going to be fine. Really ... If not - You guys (and you lovely babes!) will be first ones to know ...
Muaaaah ... Love y'all!!!
I can no drink whenever I want. I can no longer eat whenever I want. I can no longer play music at blaringly-high volume - All this thanks to having moved back in with my parents!
I can no longer sleep till 10 o clock. I can no longer check Orkut as often as I want. I can no longer check my personal mails whenever I want. I no longer smile as much as I want - All this thanks to the situation at my new company/office!
I can no longer go babe watching. I can no longer kill time by going to a mall. I can no longer visit a Landmark or Odessey or Crossword store to spend a few hours picking up books. I can no longer hang out with friend and catch up on gossip (Yes - Men too gossip!). I can no longer smile at a total stranger and not get a shmuck look back. I can no longer shop and claim I had a wonderful experience. I can no longer work out a a health club as classy as Chisel - All this thanks to Cochin not being as hi-tech as Bangalore.
I've been trying really hard for the last 21 days. And I think I'm doing a good job of adjusting to most of the things. But, at times, I really begin to feel - I wish I should've just clung on whatever I had when I was in Bangalore and not have been greedy about things like career, money, ambitions, etc.
But, what the heck ... This is not the first time in my life things, or cities, or companies for that matter are changing. I bore the brunt of changes many times before. I don't see why this is going to be any different.
At the end of the day, I believe it's just a matter of time. Just Time ....
I guess I'm going to be fine. Really ... If not - You guys (and you lovely babes!) will be first ones to know ...
Muaaaah ... Love y'all!!!
Am I THAT OLD Already
I'm freaked out. Seriously. I'm actually beginning to think that I'm OLD!
.1. I'm not as interested in women and sex as I used to be a month back.
.2. I'm beginning to prefer sitting at home watching TV or Sleeping, to going out to places where I can meet new people (people with tits i.e.!)
.3. I am no longer interested in creating a good impression (read as lying) to hook up. These days, I'm thinking more on the lines of "I'll portray my real self. If any girls like me for that - Good. Else - I'm not interested in her!" I have a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad feeling I'm not going to hook up anytime soon.
.4. My back (and body in general) hurts as if I were a 50 year old.
.5. I no longer care about hitting the gym and looking nice and presentable. Logic - "Looks only get you so far. It's what's 'Inside' that matters"
Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawd ... What's bloody happening to me!!!
.1. I'm not as interested in women and sex as I used to be a month back.
.2. I'm beginning to prefer sitting at home watching TV or Sleeping, to going out to places where I can meet new people (people with tits i.e.!)
.3. I am no longer interested in creating a good impression (read as lying) to hook up. These days, I'm thinking more on the lines of "I'll portray my real self. If any girls like me for that - Good. Else - I'm not interested in her!" I have a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad feeling I'm not going to hook up anytime soon.
.4. My back (and body in general) hurts as if I were a 50 year old.
.5. I no longer care about hitting the gym and looking nice and presentable. Logic - "Looks only get you so far. It's what's 'Inside' that matters"
Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawd ... What's bloody happening to me!!!
Movie Review - Bachna Ae Haseeno
Today (23-Aug-2008), I went for the movie Bachna Ae Haseeno with my friend Rohit Pulickal.
The movie on the whole was a fun experience. The wonderful locale - which is characteristic of every Yash Raj movie. The wonderful music. The Bombs on screen - Bipasha Basu, Minisha Lamba, Deepika Padukone - we're simply awesome. (They were so hot - they caused precipitation inside the theatre!). The story was pretty well scripted. Ranbir Kapoor did some stunning acting. So did Bipasha and Minisha and Deepika. And I wouldn't want to forget Kunal Kapoor wondrous, albeit his smaller role, performance either.
But, the best part about the movie is indeed its story and screenplay. The youthful touch to movie is precisely what makes it a killer movie!
On a scale of 1 to 5 - I'd rate this movie 4!
(In other words - I definitely wouldn't mind going for it once again!)
The movie on the whole was a fun experience. The wonderful locale - which is characteristic of every Yash Raj movie. The wonderful music. The Bombs on screen - Bipasha Basu, Minisha Lamba, Deepika Padukone - we're simply awesome. (They were so hot - they caused precipitation inside the theatre!). The story was pretty well scripted. Ranbir Kapoor did some stunning acting. So did Bipasha and Minisha and Deepika. And I wouldn't want to forget Kunal Kapoor wondrous, albeit his smaller role, performance either.
But, the best part about the movie is indeed its story and screenplay. The youthful touch to movie is precisely what makes it a killer movie!
On a scale of 1 to 5 - I'd rate this movie 4!
(In other words - I definitely wouldn't mind going for it once again!)
Saturday, August 23, 2008
My Blogs Are Getting A Tad Too Boring And Itchy Aren't They
I took a moment to review (a.k.a. read) my last few blogs, and I'll be honest with you here. I see a gulf of difference in them v/s my blogs a few months back.
I also noticed one more thing - most of the blogs were filled with my bitching and whining about something or the other. Hmmmmmmmmmmmm ... Now why did I do that!!!
Maybe at a subconscious level, I'm not all that happy as I think I am ... I need to take a moment off here to talk to my inner self. Once I do that, I'll understand whats really going wrong in my life. And once I identify that - I'll take corrective steps to resolve the matter.
So, for all those lovely readers (if there are any i.e.) who've been bearing the brunt of my whining - thanks for your patronage and support and patience. I am completely indebted to you.
Like the System.gc() method in Java - I will expend maximum effort to get over this boorish phase of mine.
(I know that was a bad joke ... But, what else did you expect from a techie!)
And once I conquer and overcome my current plights, it'll be back to my glorious old days ... And I assure you, I'll write some really good stuff once again.
Till then - Please bear with me. Or if that's too much to ask - BUZZ OFF MATE!!!
:D
I also noticed one more thing - most of the blogs were filled with my bitching and whining about something or the other. Hmmmmmmmmmmmm ... Now why did I do that!!!
Maybe at a subconscious level, I'm not all that happy as I think I am ... I need to take a moment off here to talk to my inner self. Once I do that, I'll understand whats really going wrong in my life. And once I identify that - I'll take corrective steps to resolve the matter.
So, for all those lovely readers (if there are any i.e.) who've been bearing the brunt of my whining - thanks for your patronage and support and patience. I am completely indebted to you.
Like the System.gc() method in Java - I will expend maximum effort to get over this boorish phase of mine.
(I know that was a bad joke ... But, what else did you expect from a techie!)
And once I conquer and overcome my current plights, it'll be back to my glorious old days ... And I assure you, I'll write some really good stuff once again.
Till then - Please bear with me. Or if that's too much to ask - BUZZ OFF MATE!!!
:D
What Happens When You Want Too Many Things At The Same Time
For example, what happens when:
You Want To Take A New Assignment At Work - Which Is Technologically Challenging And Will Get You Places, But Fear That It Means That You Will Leave You With Too Little Free Time For Other/Personal Pursuits +
You Want To Ask Your Current Project Lead To Release You From Your Current Project, Because You Don't See Yourself Going Places Here +
You Want To Chalk Out Loads Of Free Time For Yourself So That You Can Work With Full Energy And Zeal On That Dream Project Of Your, So That You Can Satisfy Your Dream Of Wanting To Be An Entrepreneur +
You Don't Want To Relocate Out Of Cochin, Because You Just Moved In Here 20 Days Back +
You Want To Go Back To Bangalore, Because The City Offered You A Lot Of Freedom And Options To Freak Out +
You Want To Quit Your Current Company, Because The Work Culture Here Sucks +
You Want To Go Back To Oracle, Because The Work Culture There Rocked +
You Want To Stay With Parents, So That They're Happy That Their Kid Is Nearby +
You Want To Move To A City Where All Your Friends Are, Because You Wanna Chill Out As Much As Possible
Simple ... You end up as confused as I am ... TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTALLY CONFUSED!!!
Hopefully, in due course of time, I'll be able to untangle all the cat strings doing the rounds in my mind.
HOPEFULLY!!!
You Want To Take A New Assignment At Work - Which Is Technologically Challenging And Will Get You Places, But Fear That It Means That You Will Leave You With Too Little Free Time For Other/Personal Pursuits +
You Want To Ask Your Current Project Lead To Release You From Your Current Project, Because You Don't See Yourself Going Places Here +
You Want To Chalk Out Loads Of Free Time For Yourself So That You Can Work With Full Energy And Zeal On That Dream Project Of Your, So That You Can Satisfy Your Dream Of Wanting To Be An Entrepreneur +
You Don't Want To Relocate Out Of Cochin, Because You Just Moved In Here 20 Days Back +
You Want To Go Back To Bangalore, Because The City Offered You A Lot Of Freedom And Options To Freak Out +
You Want To Quit Your Current Company, Because The Work Culture Here Sucks +
You Want To Go Back To Oracle, Because The Work Culture There Rocked +
You Want To Stay With Parents, So That They're Happy That Their Kid Is Nearby +
You Want To Move To A City Where All Your Friends Are, Because You Wanna Chill Out As Much As Possible
Simple ... You end up as confused as I am ... TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTALLY CONFUSED!!!
Hopefully, in due course of time, I'll be able to untangle all the cat strings doing the rounds in my mind.
HOPEFULLY!!!
My Friend KSP And His Blog
I have this friend called Kiran. More popularly known as KSP. He dropped a career at L&T for an opening at a small start up organization called Web Chutney. From what I understood, they were a firm that worked in the Marketing and Advertising domains.
I've been tracking KSP's blog for some time now. It makes for a fun read. Correction - It used to make up for a really fun read. Till a couple of months back i.e.. He used to write, ekdum dil koll ke, about the most weirdo topics under the sun.
But, these days - It's filled with stuff that I don't understand. And by this, I don't mean I don't understand the stuff he writes about. I mean - I don't get why he writes it?
I mean - how is a guy who is into Marketing and Advertising domains bothered about RSS Feeds and Technology and Web 2.0 trends? My understanding of Marketing and Advertising is that it's a very glamorous thing where the only thing you do is come up with ideas of how you can differentiate your product. And whenever I think Marketing - a one-track-formula comes into my mind - Strip Mallika Sherawat to the bare minimum of clothes and then ask her to talk about your product. It doesn't exactly matter your product is - IT WILL SELL!!!
Oh God ... Now this is what I call a Tangent. Silly Me!!!
Anyways ... Getting back to KSP and his blog.
So ... My dear buddy KSP ... Wassup with you writing these techie sortta blogs? I'm confused ... Are these integral to the world of Advertising and Marketing? Or are you following these techie thingies based out of pure interest per se?
Thanks in advance bro !!!
N.B: I still like your blogs ... Keep those creative juices flowing!!!
I've been tracking KSP's blog for some time now. It makes for a fun read. Correction - It used to make up for a really fun read. Till a couple of months back i.e.. He used to write, ekdum dil koll ke, about the most weirdo topics under the sun.
But, these days - It's filled with stuff that I don't understand. And by this, I don't mean I don't understand the stuff he writes about. I mean - I don't get why he writes it?
I mean - how is a guy who is into Marketing and Advertising domains bothered about RSS Feeds and Technology and Web 2.0 trends? My understanding of Marketing and Advertising is that it's a very glamorous thing where the only thing you do is come up with ideas of how you can differentiate your product. And whenever I think Marketing - a one-track-formula comes into my mind - Strip Mallika Sherawat to the bare minimum of clothes and then ask her to talk about your product. It doesn't exactly matter your product is - IT WILL SELL!!!
Oh God ... Now this is what I call a Tangent. Silly Me!!!
Anyways ... Getting back to KSP and his blog.
So ... My dear buddy KSP ... Wassup with you writing these techie sortta blogs? I'm confused ... Are these integral to the world of Advertising and Marketing? Or are you following these techie thingies based out of pure interest per se?
Thanks in advance bro !!!
N.B: I still like your blogs ... Keep those creative juices flowing!!!
Need an Internet Connection
I desperately need to take an internet connection at home. I've listed out a few reasons why:
Firstly - I get home around 3.30 PM these days (courtesy of working in a shift system at work), and I have nothing better to do than either play "Counter Strike", or watch some movie/soap, or watch TV. And honestly, it's getting reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally boring out here.
Secondly - I need to start networking and make some new friends here in Cochin. Reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally - At the very least I have to find myself a few activity partners. None of my friends are here.
What was that saying again - "What's life without friends?"
Thirdly - I have a project in mind that I have to step up my efforts on. As it is, it was behind schedule. Today, I realized that I might have some competition as well. So, before the competition heightens and I loose any further ground to them, I better tidy up my act and work towards rolling out my project ASAP!
Fourthly - I wanna download some movies (YES - Porno is also included in my wish list!), mp3, e-books, music videos, etc. My current collection is kindda obsolete.
Fifthly - I need to teach/educate mom and dad on how to use a computer to access their mails and introduce them to the virtual world and limitless power of the internet (am I being a little too melodramatic here!)
Sixthly - Internet surfing, chatting, twitter, Orkut, etc help in killing time.
Seventhly - From the way things are going, I think I might have to pay a visit to www.naukri.com and www.monsterjobs.com very soon.
Eighthly - Browsing at Reliance Web World (I have an account there. I prefer the place as it's very secure. Absolutely no Malware/Spyware/Viruses) is proving to be a very very expensive affair. In the last 20 odd days I have already used up Rs. 650/- worth of internet time. To give me some credit - at their tariff rate of 40 bucks an hour - it's hardly 17 hours usage. In other words, I've spent only 1 hour a day (on an average) online.
Ninthly - Google Talk's PC-PC calls are a great way to save up on ISD charges as also to keep in touch with your old friends.
Tenthly - I actually don't have a tenth reason. I just wanted to make ten bullet points.
With any luck, by the end of this/next week, I'll have a net connection at home.
Till then - Ya'll Be Good Aite!
Firstly - I get home around 3.30 PM these days (courtesy of working in a shift system at work), and I have nothing better to do than either play "Counter Strike", or watch some movie/soap, or watch TV. And honestly, it's getting reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally boring out here.
Secondly - I need to start networking and make some new friends here in Cochin. Reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally - At the very least I have to find myself a few activity partners. None of my friends are here.
What was that saying again - "What's life without friends?"
Thirdly - I have a project in mind that I have to step up my efforts on. As it is, it was behind schedule. Today, I realized that I might have some competition as well. So, before the competition heightens and I loose any further ground to them, I better tidy up my act and work towards rolling out my project ASAP!
Fourthly - I wanna download some movies (YES - Porno is also included in my wish list!), mp3, e-books, music videos, etc. My current collection is kindda obsolete.
Fifthly - I need to teach/educate mom and dad on how to use a computer to access their mails and introduce them to the virtual world and limitless power of the internet (am I being a little too melodramatic here!)
Sixthly - Internet surfing, chatting, twitter, Orkut, etc help in killing time.
Seventhly - From the way things are going, I think I might have to pay a visit to www.naukri.com and www.monsterjobs.com very soon.
Eighthly - Browsing at Reliance Web World (I have an account there. I prefer the place as it's very secure. Absolutely no Malware/Spyware/Viruses) is proving to be a very very expensive affair. In the last 20 odd days I have already used up Rs. 650/- worth of internet time. To give me some credit - at their tariff rate of 40 bucks an hour - it's hardly 17 hours usage. In other words, I've spent only 1 hour a day (on an average) online.
Ninthly - Google Talk's PC-PC calls are a great way to save up on ISD charges as also to keep in touch with your old friends.
Tenthly - I actually don't have a tenth reason. I just wanted to make ten bullet points.
With any luck, by the end of this/next week, I'll have a net connection at home.
Till then - Ya'll Be Good Aite!
Project Idea Stolen
I've been working in recluse on this dream project of mine. And today, while googling for something else, I stumbled upon a site which is similar to my idea. Ofcourse, their product is in no way close to the product I have envisaged. But, still, they have first movers advantage now. And this means - I can no longer afford to be lazy. I need to step up my efforts at developing the application and delivering it to the market. I am also going to have to double my efforts in finding someone who can market the product for me.
DEAR GOD ... I have a lot of work ahead of me ... Please give me the courage and strength to finish it!!!
DEAR GOD ... I have a lot of work ahead of me ... Please give me the courage and strength to finish it!!!
WWW.TWITTER.COM
Today (19-Aug-2008), I started tweeting on www.twitter.com. I don't know whether I'll like it as much as Orkut or Blogging, but, I thought I'd give it a try. Who knows what it'll develop into?
So, for anyone who wants to know what I'm doing right now - add me as a friend on www.twitter.com
(Ping me if you want my twitter e-mail details... The last thing I want is some stupid bot spamming me on my E-Mail Id!)
So, for anyone who wants to know what I'm doing right now - add me as a friend on www.twitter.com
(Ping me if you want my twitter e-mail details... The last thing I want is some stupid bot spamming me on my E-Mail Id!)
Projectless - AGAIN!!!
Today I was informed that my client was about to cut project budgets by approx 50% for this coming quarter. And since mine is an R&D project, sure as hell - it'll be the first one to undergo the scalpel. Unfortunately (Or is it fortunately?) for me, I just joined the project and the account a week back. So, I will be the first one to be kicked out.
I've read (and laughed) a lot of Dilbert scrips about departments being downsized, etc. But, somehow, I never figured it would happen to me!
And to be very honest (maybe it's my bruised ego doing the talking here!) - It feel very angry right now!!!
I've read (and laughed) a lot of Dilbert scrips about departments being downsized, etc. But, somehow, I never figured it would happen to me!
And to be very honest (maybe it's my bruised ego doing the talking here!) - It feel very angry right now!!!
Awesome Cost Cutting Measures
Working with my new employer (Don't want to risk naming them here!) is serving to be a rich learning experience. As a matter of fact, I am learning a lot of stuff that I can use whenever I start my own Consulting Firm. To be a bit more honest - I'm learning a lot-of-stuff-that-one-should-never-do-in-an-organization.
One of the Key things is "Cost Cutting". Ofcourse, I understand cutting costs means increased profits and happier investors and thereby greater stock appreciation and all this finally leads to a richer you! But, cost cutting too has its limits.
Let me take a moment here to list out the 10 most absurd cost cutting measures that I have seen here:
(1) Coffee Vending machines on most floors don't work - Mega Electricity Savings!
(2) On the floors that the coffee machines work, they don't provide mugs - Mega Pantry Expenses Savings!
(3) Toilets are seldom cleaned. This makes employees abstain from using them - Water Bill Savings!
(4) 1 Refill pack of Liquid Soap can be used to fill up 11 liquid soap dispensers - provided you use water to compensate for the remaining 11 parts. If you're lucky - the colloidal solution that forms therewith will still smell of + have the same color of the original Liquid soap. Justification => "After all - You're hands won't smell all that bad after taking a potty/leak... Ergo, you don't need concentrated Liquid Soap extract!" Mega Toiletries Savings!
(5) Computers left on for more than 6 hours at a stretch will OVERHEAT and will switch off (read as THE COMPUTER DIES IN FRONT OF YOU!). Electricity Bill Savings!
(6) Printers, Photocopiers and Fax Machine never have paper in them. In the rarest of scenarios that there is paper inside them - they'll be out of Ink! Stationery and Electricity Bill Savings!
(7) Working in the morning shift (6 AM - 3 PM) entails you to a free breakfast. To get this free breakfast - you need to walk 1.5 kms to the nearest building, because, that is the ONLY place where the Free-Breakfast-Serving-Canteen is served. Most sensible employees would rather starve than walk 3 kms at 7 AM, and that too - on an empty stomach. Mega Savings in Catering Expenses!
(8) Toilets don't have toilet papers. Nor tissues for that matter. Mega Toiletries Savings!
(9) Company doesn't pay for car parking facilities inside the building premises. Logic - "If you have a car, you pay for the car parking. Why should we pay for you to park your car safely?" Mega Operational Expenses Savings!
(10) (This one takes the cake!) Note Pads/Scribble Pads are issued, but, Pencils/Pens are not issued. Ergo, the Scribble pads are left untouched. Yet another Stationery Related Savings!
And to think that when Oracle cut down on supplies of biscuits and soft drinks (free for employees) - I made a hue and cry about the whole issue, even to the extent of complaining to our HR representatives as well as Senior Managers that it was the "CHEAPEST" thing a company of Oracle's stature could ever do!
My Dearest Oracle .... I beg thy forgiveness!!!
One of the Key things is "Cost Cutting". Ofcourse, I understand cutting costs means increased profits and happier investors and thereby greater stock appreciation and all this finally leads to a richer you! But, cost cutting too has its limits.
Let me take a moment here to list out the 10 most absurd cost cutting measures that I have seen here:
(1) Coffee Vending machines on most floors don't work - Mega Electricity Savings!
(2) On the floors that the coffee machines work, they don't provide mugs - Mega Pantry Expenses Savings!
(3) Toilets are seldom cleaned. This makes employees abstain from using them - Water Bill Savings!
(4) 1 Refill pack of Liquid Soap can be used to fill up 11 liquid soap dispensers - provided you use water to compensate for the remaining 11 parts. If you're lucky - the colloidal solution that forms therewith will still smell of + have the same color of the original Liquid soap. Justification => "After all - You're hands won't smell all that bad after taking a potty/leak... Ergo, you don't need concentrated Liquid Soap extract!" Mega Toiletries Savings!
(5) Computers left on for more than 6 hours at a stretch will OVERHEAT and will switch off (read as THE COMPUTER DIES IN FRONT OF YOU!). Electricity Bill Savings!
(6) Printers, Photocopiers and Fax Machine never have paper in them. In the rarest of scenarios that there is paper inside them - they'll be out of Ink! Stationery and Electricity Bill Savings!
(7) Working in the morning shift (6 AM - 3 PM) entails you to a free breakfast. To get this free breakfast - you need to walk 1.5 kms to the nearest building, because, that is the ONLY place where the Free-Breakfast-Serving-Canteen is served. Most sensible employees would rather starve than walk 3 kms at 7 AM, and that too - on an empty stomach. Mega Savings in Catering Expenses!
(8) Toilets don't have toilet papers. Nor tissues for that matter. Mega Toiletries Savings!
(9) Company doesn't pay for car parking facilities inside the building premises. Logic - "If you have a car, you pay for the car parking. Why should we pay for you to park your car safely?" Mega Operational Expenses Savings!
(10) (This one takes the cake!) Note Pads/Scribble Pads are issued, but, Pencils/Pens are not issued. Ergo, the Scribble pads are left untouched. Yet another Stationery Related Savings!
And to think that when Oracle cut down on supplies of biscuits and soft drinks (free for employees) - I made a hue and cry about the whole issue, even to the extent of complaining to our HR representatives as well as Senior Managers that it was the "CHEAPEST" thing a company of Oracle's stature could ever do!
My Dearest Oracle .... I beg thy forgiveness!!!
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