There Is Too Much Water Under The Bridge

I came across this phrase "There's Too Much Water Under The Bridge" whilst I reading a book recently, and after some googling, found out that it means - "Things have been damaged/spoiled well beyond repair".

I guess its the perfect word to describe things between me and my X-College Sweetheart.
(I don't want to mention her name here, but people who know me well/from college will probably know who I'm talking about!)


We broke up in a very very very (no ... I didn't repeat the very's accidentally) nasty manner.
I guess I have to account that to - confusions between us, the geographical distance between us (her in Calicut and me in Chennai), my insecurities, a "particularly scary" problem - or should I call it a tendency - she had (don't ask me what - I ain't gonna tell!), jealousy on her part, doubts on my part, pressure and tensions of starting a career, restrictions placed on me by my relatives with whom I was staying, my physical needs, etc, etc, etc. (I could go on forever, and I bet she had a similarily long list too!).

Anyways ... All those "reasons" finally culminated in an outburst. Correction - it was more like a NUCLEAR EXPLOSION!

I said a lot of things I shouldn't have, she reciprocated in kind. Which made me say even more nastier stuff - which made her break down and cry.
The Nett Effect - the relationship was doomed!!!


In all fairness, I did miss her a lot and did try to revive the relationship a couple of months down the road. After a lot of cajoling and apologising on my part - we decided to give it another shot.
But, try as much as we might, the most important element in a relationship - TRUST - had disappeared.
As the weeks passed - we fought over sillier and sillier things, and soon the rift between us became so huge, that yet again - we had a disastrous fight and we broke up yet again!
The only difference this time was - the break up was for good!

After that incident, we didn't speak for close to 2 years. I guess we both moved on with our lives.

After around a 2 year hiatus when we finally starting talking (more like chatting over gtalk), things were completely different. I was finding it difficult to pick up a conversation with the girl with whom I used speak for at least 10 - 12 hours a day during college. And the soreness and anger (maybe even hatred) inside both of us was so very noticeable.

Even smallest chit chat sessions would end up in fights - for no valid reasons of course - which were followed by weeks if not months of silence and cold war, and then either of us (mostly me) would initiate an icebreaker chat which would eventually - yet again i.e. - lead to a fight ....
(You get the picture!)


She was in Bangalore for around 1.5 months - for her summers program - and neither I nor her took the initiative to meet up for a coffee. That's a courtesy you give even the most casual of acquaintances when they're in your area/vice versa.

This is when I truly realized how bad things were between us!


Heck - I repeat what I started off saying in this blog - There's Too Much Water Under The Bridge!