Stock Market Terms Redifined

The following blog is a complete recreation of the one at this link.
I fell off my chair laughing, and so, I decided that I was gonna make it a part of my blog as well.


CEO : Chief Embezzlement Officer.

CFO : Corporate Fraud Officer.

BULL MARKET : A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

BEAR MARKET : A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry.

VALUE INVESTING : The art of buying low and selling lower.

BROKER : What my broker has made me.

STANDARD & POOR : Your life in a nutshell.

STOCK ANALYST : Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

STOCK SPLIT : When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.

FINANCIAL PLANNER : A guy whose phone has been disconnected.

MARKET CORRECTION : The day after you buy stocks.

CASH FLOW : The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

YAHOO : What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.

WINDOWS : What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR : Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.

PROFIT : An archaic word no longer in use.

Talk About Misunderstandings!!!

Great Indian HR

Another Fun Game

I Am : An Assertive, And Fun Person!

I Think : About All The Different Permutations Of Combinations Any Situation Can Morph Into!

I Know : That I Will Succeed In Life. Even If It Takes Some Time!

I Want : Perfect The Art Of Pickup And Brand Myself As "Mpua"

I Have : A Very Kinky Mind!

I Wish : I Could Go Back To My College Days!

I Hate : Loosing!

I Miss : Being Carefree!

I Fear : Rejection!

I Hear : The Fan In My Room - Which Btw Is Making A Lot Of Noise!

I Smell : Nice ... Very Nice!

I Crave : To Meet Interesting People!

I Search : For Success And Power!

I Wonder : If I Will Ever Be

I Regret : Leaving Oracle

I Love : Myself!

I Ache : After Spending 3 Straight Hours At The Gym!

I Was Not : Fitness Conscious 6 Months Back!

I Am Not : Boring!

I Cry : Very Rarely!

I Believe : I Can!

I Dance : Like A Frog!

I Sing : Like A Crow!

I Read : Anything That Adds Value Or Knowledge To Me!

I Don't Always : Do I What I Say!

I Fight : For What I Believe Is Right And Due To Me!

I Write : Really Good Blogs

I Win : Most Of The Time!

I Lose : Only To The People I Care!

I Never : Cheat Friends!

I Always : Smile!

I Confuse : People Just For Kicks!

I Listen : To My Friends!

I Can Usually Be Found : In Front Of My Computer!

I Am Scared : That I'll Die A Very Old Man!

I Need : To Beef Up And Work Towards My Life Goals!

I Am Happy : When I'm With Friends!

I Imagine : I'll Be Financially Retired In Another 5 Years!

The Single's Dating Scenario

"THAT" Time Of The Month

I really don't know whom to feel sorry for:

.1. The girl who is PMS'ing
OR
.2. The poor guy(s) who's on the receiving end


All I can say, from my experience thus far, is that life gets REAAAAAAAAALLY REAAAAAAAALLY TOUGH AND MURKY those few days every month!!!

The George Bush'es

A Fact Of Life

Scary Stuff - But It's True !!!

The Importance Of Sex Education Amongst Kids

This one picture says it all

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My Valentines Day

Come to think of it, I've never really celebrated Valentines. But, I don't know what got into me this year - but, I really wanted to celebrate it!

Maybe it's because - all these last years I was in the middle of friends and was always getting some sort of "action". But, all of a sudden - this year, for the last 8 months to be precise, I've been away from my friends a lot and honestly - I haven't gotten anything close to "action" either.
I guess, that pretty much makes a strong case for the "WHY" part of my current state.

Anyways ... I notice I digressed here. So, lets come back to our main topic. How I celebrated Valentine's day.

My parent's were not in town (as they had gone to Calicut to see Mata Amritananda Maayi). Ofcourse, this is a dream come true for any guy on Valentines Day. Any guy with a girlfriend or a date i.e.
NOT ME!

I went out to catch a movie with a few of my college friends. Sadly, on route, some jerk kids on a motorcycle rammed into my car and dented my rear bumper. Before I could beat the shit out of them - those morons on the bike rode away at break neck speed! I was too much in shock at what had happened, and so it didn't even strike me to take a look at their number plates.
:(

Anyways ... The movie was a pretty sad one (A Malayalam flick titled - Red Chillies). After which, thanks to my dampened spirit, post the car crash, I came straight home and went to sleep.

That's pretty much all that happened to me on Valentines this year ... As simple as that !!!

(I know it's a lousy post. But, I aint in a very good mood to blog right now ... Sorry about that!)

Experimenting With "The Game" - A Smashing Success

Over the last couple of weeks, I've been trying to implement a lot of techniques and strategies that I read about in Neil Straus's book titled "The Game".

And what have I realized - It's all true ... Atleast - everything that I've tried so far - Worked Like A Charm!

Things I've put to the test so far are:
* Negging
* Demonstration of Higher Value
* Countering Last Minute Resistance
* Bitch Shield Blasting
* Openers

Ofcourse - there are quite a few other items I need to practice before I can safely declare that I've mastered the game. But, hey, I'm in no hurry anyways. After all - I have my whole life ahead of me anyways!

Project Management - A Challenge Or A Nightmare

Until I started my freelance consulting business - I always thought of project managers as useless pieces of junk, who simply made life miserable for the tech team.
(Ofcourse, I still hold that opinion about the project managers at my current employers!)


But, what I realize now is that they're an absolutely essential element to the equation. And, I should also add, their job although light in terms of workload is laden with tons of responsibilities and worries and tensions.

"Deadlines ... Status Calls ... Customer Retention ... Solution Pitching ... Request For Initiatives ... Request For Proposals ... Leadership Management ... Team Spirit Building ... Returns On Investment ... Margins ... Revenues ... Billing ... etc ... etc ... etc ..."

These are the buzz words that I live by these days. Ofcourse, since I am new to this kind of a role - I am making plenty of mistakes. But, the good news is - everyday is a learning curve and I ensure that I don't make the same mistake twice!

Hopefully, soon, I'll be a kick ass manager (and a lot more!)


Godspeed to me !!!