Looted by the cops!!!

After a relatively less fucked up Mock CAT exam (I use relatively less because all my other Mock CAT exams were completely fucked up, whereas this one was a tad better than before!) I decide to head home and catch up on some lost sleep. And guess what ???

I got caught by the Traffic Cops ... The lil git was hiding behind some parked cars. He jumped out, turned my bike off and took my keys with him. Before I realized what had happened, he muttered - "RC Book, License, Emission Test, Road Tax ..."

Well, I had (atleast I thought I did) all these papers. So what the heck - I had no need to worry at all! I gave him a smile of confidence and said - "Can I have my keys back? My papers are in the utility box, and I need my keys to open it!"
The cop, albeit a little shock (I think he was expecting me to panic!), handed over my keys, and I took it (snatched it was more like it) and headed over to my bike.

A second later, when I opened the utility box (that's where I keep my bikes papers), I realized, I had left them at home.

I was smiling the wrong way now ... And - like the dementor's from Harry Potter books - I think he sensed my misery!

I thought to myself - "Hey, maybe I'll explain it to him ... And he'll let me off ..."

I headed over to the cop and explained to him - "Sir... I've left them at home, if you want you can come with me and take a look!"

Boy ... Was I in for a shock!


He started shaking his head (That was definitely not a good sign) ... And this is what he said
"No ... No ... No RC Book ... No Emission Test ... No Insurance ... No Road Tax ...
(Opening a newspaper he had with him) and started scribbling:
RC - 300
Emission - 200
Insurance - 400
Tax - 1000


you have to pay a court fine - Rs. 1700 !!!
"

(At the back of my head I was wondering - since when is 300+200+400+1000 = 1700 ... This guy probably flunked Maths in school ... But heck - If i correct him, I would probably end up paying more fine ... So - I should probably shut up !!!)


What hit me was not the amount of fine I was asked to pay. Naaaa ... 1700 was not a big deal (I've had cops brouhaha estimates of 15,000 bucks worth of traffic offenses whilst I was in Chennai)
It was the thought of having those jerks haul my bike off to their station - and on top of that having to go to the court to pay a fine - that made me panic!

I don't know why, but I've always had this phobia for cops. Maybe its has a lot to do with watching a lot of movies about the Kerala Police - who are notorious for beating the shit out of anyone they get their hands on. What the heck - "I'm a little afraid of cops ... Period!"

Well ... coming back to the story - The copper had me in front of him trembling ... And by then I had decided - I am not going to let these creeps haul my bike away. Let me try bribing him ... Works all the time.

So, I ask the cop to come with me, and ask him, "Sir ... Is there an ATM nearby? If yes, can't we solve this issue without a fine?"
He got my drift ... Cause the next thing he was saying - albeit half-heartedly- was "No ... No ... Court fine ... Court fine ... (And pointing vigorously at numbers he has scribbled)"

I decided to up the bargain (There was no chance I was gonna let these creeps manhandle my bike).
"Sir ... 500 bucks ...."

That did the trick. He was like "No ... No ... 1700 fine ... nothing short of 1000 ..."
Balls I was going to give him 1000 bucks ... "Sir ... month end ... I'm broke ... Max I can give is 500!"

"No ... No ... 1700 fine ... give me atleast 700 ..."

Well - It was working so far ... "Sir ... No Sir ... Month end sir ... no money sir ... 500 ... please!"

After a few more mins of bargaining - he relented, and I headed over to nearest ATM to get the cash.
I knew if I withdrew more than 500 - that creep would siphon it off as well. So - I just took 500 and headed back to him.

"Sir ... Here's the 500 ..."

The jerk takes the 500 bucks, and starts counting. I was left wondering - You sick prick ... You're worse than a robber! Atleast that fellow doesn't stand and count his loot in front of you!!!
#$@#$@$#"

"Only 500 ... What man ... 700 ..." You should have seen the look on his face. It was as if he was begging ... I had to control an urge to blurt out laughing (Cause - that would mean another 500 bucks in "fines")
:P

I took my wallet out, and showed him - "Sir ... Only 60 more bucks left ... No money sir ... I'm broke ... Month end!!!"

The copper eyes my wallet and says "Ok ... give me that 60 as well !!!"


I was too stunned to react ... What the fuck was this ... He was out to loot me and heck, he must've thought - "Why not leave him bone dry while I'm at it !!!"


With a pleading look (I'm a good actor) - I retort - "Sir ... Please sir ... Only 60 bucks left for me till end of this month ... Please sir !!!"

Thankfully he says ... "Ok ... Fine !!!"


And guess what - the icing on the cake - He shakes hands with me ... It was as if - I had done some business with him, was paying him for services, and he was saying - "Thank you ... Please come back anytime!"

I took his hands, gave it a quick shake, got on my bike, and sped home ... No way in hell I'm gonnna stop for another cop !!!