My First Air Deccan Flight

This is pretty much my first time blogging. And what better way to start this wonderful hobby than by describing my First trip on board Air Deccan.

My flight to Cochin was scheduled for departure at 6.50 pm on the 26th of April 2007. Ofcourse I had travelled by Air aplenty before (on company trips and dad paid vacations), but this trip was different. It was the first trip that I had shelled out my hard earned money to purchase a flight ticket (Did i mention that I used to travel via un-reserved general class in trains before I started working :D )

Well ... Since it was my money involved here - the expectations were naturally on the upper end. Esp - like all guys who've heard of Kingfisher Airlines before - that of getting to ogle over some hot babe of an Airhostess ...
:+)

But ... Wait ... Lets get to that a little later into the story ... For now lets get back to our main story.

I had a KT session scheduled for 4 pm that day. For those from non-IT industry backgrounds, KT sessions a.k.a "Knowledge Transition" sessions is like a classroom session. Except there will be probably 2 or 3 "students" at the max, the "teacher" is usually a guy you smoke with and probably talk about the latest porno flick doing the rounds these days (you get the idea), you can sleep in these sessions without the fear of ticking off the "teacher" and/or getting a supplementary paper!

So ... I tell my friend - "Hey bro ... I have a flight to catch today. So I wont be able to make it to the session at 4". And he goes like "Listen man - I'll reschedule to session to 3 so that I can bore you for that much atleast ... Ooopps sorry ... I can teach you for that much time atleast (I bet he meant the first - but to be politically right he said the second)"
Now that he had made an offer like this - I couldnt refuse. So, I agree.

3 o clock comes and I am half heartedly sitting there in a conference with two other Bakra's listening to my friend speak french and german about some application that I was supposed to start working on once I came back from my holiday.
But you know what ... The human mind is such a wonderful thing ... It can think about USA when you're physically in India. In my case - I was dreaming of hitting on a beautiful Air Deccan airhostess, when in reality I was sitting in 4X4 conference with Ravi (that's my friends name btw) going on and on about how this architecture helped solve all the obstacles the application would otherwise have faced.
But, Ravi - having been in my shoes way too many times for comfort - realizes that I just ain't there !!!
And ofcourse - he gets furious (that Ravi ... he does everything with 101 % passion and commitment. And the worst part is - he expects everyone else to follow suit - OR ELSE #$%@#@#$ !!!). Now the lil rascal starts asking me question after question to screw my happiness. Ofcourse there is no manager in the room (else I would have killed him after that session) but Ravi was out to mutilate me ... So he goes ahead and fires volley after volley of question at me about the architecture.
I have wriggled out of the wrath of professors in my college even after being caught umpteen number of times sleeping in their (boring) lectures. After all this was Ravi - my friend ... Poor fellow ... He didn't stand a chance.
In the next 10 mins, I crack a stupid joke or two (like I always do) and the mood lighens up. Ravi is back to his composed self.

I look at the watch and i realize its 4.15 pm. Time for me to Bail !!!
I tell Ravi - "Da ... I really need to leave now - else i'll miss my flight!". It was more like a statement and not a request. Ravi knew better than to argue - and I leave the meeting and head for home.

Once home, I rush for a quick shower, do some last min packing and rush to Airport.
I quickly get my check-in luggage security screened (happens at the entry of any airport) and then rush to the Air Deccan counter.
Now ... Here starts the "masti" which I will never forget !!!

I go to the counter and tell the person there, "Hi. I'd like to check in my luggage. Flight DN - 637 bound to Cochin." The person there smiles back and says "Sir, we are checking in passengers for the Hyderabad flight right now. We will start checking in people for the cochin flight in a while. Please be seated till then."
Ofcourse, the guy was pleasant and courteous, and so I complied. I found a place with a wonderful view (For a bachelor - and esp for me - the term view means HOT CHICKS!!!).
I wait there for a full 30 mins. The time is 5.50 pm by now... I get a little worried and go back to the counter (just in case they've forgotten to inform me about the flight check in starting), and ask the guy "Can I pleae check in now". He replies with the same dialogue he gave me the last time around. For one sec I was wondering - "Doesn't he say anything else but this!!!".
So ... yet again I head back to my seat and check out the Air hostess'es that pass my way - wondering what is an Air Deccan air hostess going to look like ???
Another 40 mins pass ... Its 6.30 pm now. By now I am furious and panicking. My thoughts were on the lines of "Its been more than an hour since I've been waiting and these idiots aren't even letting me check in my luggage ... how bloody rude !!! I'm going to give these people dressing down for sure !!!"
And off I go - the third time - to the counter and this time in a more serious and aggressive tone - "I want to check in luggage. I am travelling by Flight DN - 637 to cochin."
Thats when the guy (who I thought was going to tell me his rehearsed lines again) says, "Oh ... Sir ... that flight has been rescheduled to 10.30 pm".
It was like a blow in the chest. My wind left me and I was standing there blank faced. Its not like I had anything important to do after going to Cochin (except watch some WWF or FTV), but 10.30 was like an eternity away and I dint have anything else to do.
I recover from this shock and I ask the guy - "When were planning to tell me this Christmas??? And the least your airlines could have done was inform me about the change in flight plans!".
The guy goes like "Oh ... We're sorry ... We might have missed out your name sir ... It wont happen in the future!". Melodramatic as I am, I gather the courage and say - "Well ... don't worry - I don't think I will let you do that mistake again. BECAUSE this is last time I fly ur godforsaken airlines !!!" and I stormed away from the counter.

Yeah right ... At my paystack I couldnt afford anything more than that. I knew that ... And the worst part is - I think he did too !
I guess he called my bluff. Because a min later when I turned around and looked at him, he was smiling at me in a "Yeah ... Yeah ... That's the billionth customer I've heard say that type smirk!"

So. I had another 5 hours to kill. I open up my faithful laptop only to be reminded that it hardly had power for another hours worth toying. Whatever, I think "atleast for an hour I will have something to do - lets game on".
1 hour of FIFA 07 later the computer automatically shuts down (I wouldn't blame it - after all it needs batteries to work, and I am the dodo who forgot to recharge it).
Another 4 hours to kill ... For one min in those 4 hours, I felt like Viktor (Tom Hanks role in "The Terminal") - stranded at JFK.
I walk up and down, left and right, read a magazine, et all. Finally somehow its 10.30 pm. I walk to the person behind the counter (a lady had replaced the other guy by now), and say - can I please check in my luggage now?
She says "Sure sir ... The flight although is delayed by 30 mins due to late arrival from Coimbatore". I've heard of the term overkill ... But that day I realized in full the true meaning of the word.
I had nothing to say. I was too exhausted after 4 hours of pacing up and down Bangalore's HAL airport to create a ruckus there. So, I take that information lying down (like all the other passengers before and after me). I proceed for security checks and then finally into the waiting area.

Another 30 mins pass ... Still no boarding announcement. By now - I had reached the stage where I just din't care whether I got into the flight or not. I was even ready to go back home without even complaining in the event if the flight got canceled (BTW - Air Deccan does that often).
Another 15 mins later - god smiles upon me and - the boarding announcement for my flight happens. I rush throw the gate into a Bus (atleast it looked like one) that would take me to my flight. The driver kept driving for a solid 5 minutes before he reached the aircraft. Around 3 mins into the "drive", I was wondering - "From the looks of it - Maybe this guy is probably gonna drive me all the way to Cochin!"
I - along with a hoard of other passengers - get down from the bus and wait the Aircraft's door to open so that we can board the aircraft (finally!!!).
I don't know about the rest of the people there. But for me - my spirits were on an all time high. This was the moment of truth. I was about to see what my Air Deccan airhostess looked like. Was she fair? Was she a 36/24/36. Na ... Maybe a 34/28/36. That would still be worth every penny I spent for this flight.

Whilst all these thoughts were running in my head (and god knows through how many other heads there in the cold Bangalore night), the aircraft door begins to open. For a sec, I thought time slowed down - it was taking obscenely long for the door to open. But now, on doing a reality check - i realize it was probably how "fast" an aircraft door opened anyways. And hell - it was an Air Deccan flight. Its a wonder - it opened in the first place.
I bet your wondering why I am so angry - Well ... If u were in my shoes - you'd probably be this angry as well.
The door opened to reveal a girl who was a 34/30/34 at best. And to add to the agony - she had a HUGE NOSE. Reminded me of the villian Rastapopulus in the Tintin series (maybe he was a distant uncle of this gal).
Overkill in action again - I was washed overboard. Mutilated ... Shattered ... I can't come up with
enough terms to describe what my state was around then.
I cancel out on an important meeting, I wait more than 6 hours, bear the cold of the night, all for Rastapopulus Jr.
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr .... Capt Gopinath (thats the CEO of Air Deccan) - I'm going to kill you !!!

"What the hell is happening to the world?" I found me asking myself.

A couple of other questions that were running through my head around then were - "Why in the world did I trade a 200 rupee train ticket for a 1300 flight ticket ? If I wanted to ogle at an airhostess - why did i pick air deccan in the first place ? Why din't i charge my laptop that day ?"

As the wise say - "Whatever happens, happens for the best". Or so - i convinced myself and got on board the flight.

On an Air Deccan flight - unlike the other airlines I had flown before - there were no prior allotment of seats. So, what I saw was a ruckus people trying to catch the best possible seats. I couldn't stop myself from thinking - "Now where have I seen this sort of a behaviour before ... Maybe a KSRTC bus??? Or was it Chennai metro rail??? Maybe both!!! what the heck - get a seat for yourself before all the good seats are gone!!!"

I find myself a nice window seat right next to the propellor (Later I would find out that it was pretty much the worst possible seat on a turbo prop aircraft thanks to the loud engines a stones throw to my left) and settled down.

As per government regulations, the flight staff have to inform the passengers before take off about security regulations and the evacuation measures and emergency procedures. Althought I've been flying for a long time now - I still find that its a little bit scary when they say "you can hold on to your seats which are made of a floating material and can save you from drowning!"
That day - Once the flight took off, I looked outside the window, and I could only see mountains and valleys and buildings below me. I couldn't help think - "Now ... If we crash - should i really hold on to my seats ... Anyways there is no water below - so I probably wont sink ... So - no need eh !!!"
:+D

I laugh at myself at sit back to enjoy my flight ...

The flight was supposedly for a duration of 1.05 hrs. About 30 mins into the flight - I look outside the window and at the noisy propellor on my left, and I see paint peeling off from the chasis of the turbo prop.
Now - I am 20,000 feet above sea level and I see that the paint of the propellor peeling itself off. Even a steel hearted guy would loose his cool - Don't you think ?
And to top it all - I had just seen a movie called Final Destination the prev night. And in that movie - there is a scene where the flight blows up in mid air !!!

For a second my body tenses up - and then the next second I am thinking "My company provides me with a 5 lak insurance, I have another 5 lak policy in my name, plus air deccan pays 20 laks in case of death on board their flight. So adding that up means - in case this dumb plane does crash - my parents will get 30 laks .... Coooooooooool !!!"
Atleast my parents future will be secure ... So its ok ... (Later when I told my mom this story - she gave me a kick in the arse saying - "We dont want any money from your death you idiot ... And dont u dare say anything like that ever again!!!" .... Ofcourse a big hug from me a sec later and it was like I never said anything like that ever... But that's how mom's are ... And esp my mom - esp since she'z used to me saying stuff like this all the time ... She'z the best ... And hey - before i completely deviate and forget about the topic i was talking about - lets get back to it !!!)

So ... I look at my watch and realize that another 30 more mins are left before I land on the ground. Now I know why humans love land and not air and water ...
:)


I kept looking out at the propellor every now and then, trying to ascertain whether or not the paint was the only thing peeling off, or was there more to it than that. And if not - if the paint was peeling of fast or slow or at a medium pace.
For a brief second I turn to my right, and I see this cute gal (ok ... I accept a lady in her early 30's probably ... but a chick nevertheless) who i smiling at me. Ordinarily - If i had the guts - I would have smiled back, and hopefully picked up a conversation with her and blah blah blah ...
But the brink of falling 20,000 ft from the sky to your death is not exactly the best mood inducer you see. So I completely ignored her and got back to the propellor.

Another 30 mins pass and finally we land on the ground - unscathed. I heave a sigh of relief... A really deep one !!!

Suddenly I recall that there was this cute babe on my right who was smiling at me ... Instinct kicks in - and I look to my right and smile at her.
The female of the human species is a really weird one - you neglect her once ... and its impossible to hit on her again!!!
And that's precisely what happened... She gave me a "Take a hike Bitch!" look and walked out the doors.

What the heck ... Atleast I had gotten to Cochin in one piece .... my parents were probably 30 laks poorer (as per my insurance calculations) but as a consolation prize - they still had me ... And i bet my mom and dad would love that over 30 laks anyday (atleast I like to think so ... :+P )


I went collected my luggage and left the airport - vowing not to fly Air Deccan anymore. But, little did I know that - thanks to my pay stack - I would be flying the same airlines another month down the road!!!

That - is another story on its own ....



Wokey .... I guess this is one seriously looooooooooooooooooooong blog ... And if anyone has made it so far - man ... ur extremely jobless ... Do some work bro !!!
And hey - thanks for reading my blogs dude ... Hope you liked it - Do check back soon for some more insights into my action filled life !!!
:P