Must Find Myself A Hobby

Off late, I've begun to dread weekends. Heck - I wouldn't even hesitate to call it a "Pain-In-The-Arse".

I'm not joking. All I do during weekends is just pace up and down wondering what to do.
I'd have gone out for a road trip - but that's not so much fun without company.
I'd booze myself senseless - but even that gets boring after a while.
I'd play some computer game - but I'm renowned to have the attention span of a teaspoon, and so, I get bored with that too.

To cut a long story short - All I do during weekends is wait for Monday to happen - just so that I can get back to work. And No - Its not cause I looooooooooooooove my job a lot (Trust me - I don't!). It's just that - when I'm at work - I have something or the other to do (be it bug fixing, chit-chatting with my friends, or YouTube'ing)!

This leaves me thinking - I must find myself a Hobby. Something that'll keep me engaged during the weekends. Something that lets me learn new things. Something that holds my interest. Something I am passionate about. Something that'll make me want the weekend to come sooner.

I've narrowed down to the following (At least for now):

1. Enroll myself with the Karnataka State Rifle Association (K.S.R.A)
2. Enroll for DJ Classes.
3. Improve my Culinary Skills.


Anyone got any better ideas. Do let me know!

New Year Celebrations - Roomies Idea!

Today is 31st, December. The last day of the Year 2007. Tomorrow - New Year!
By Default - This day is the "Party Event Of The Year".

And this is how my roomie Dileep wanted to celebrate it - "Let's Go To Some Good Hotel, Eat Dinner, Come Back and Crash!"

Initially, I thought he must be joking, but NO - he meant business when he actually said that!!!
Not that I am new to his lack-lustre lifestyle, and yes - this is exactly the way he celebrated last years' New Year as well (Thankfully, I went out with "My Gang" of friends last time around. We had a rocking time. I'd have gone out with them this time around as well - but all of them have gone to Kovalam for the party, and sadly, I got stuck with some critical "deliverables" at work)

I mean - its a night you're supposed to party till you drop. And all he wants to do is eat dinner, come home and crash. It's typically something we do every day. How fucking boring can you get!


Am I stuck in the wrong crowd or what!!!

Dileep - The Misogynist

Dileep, my roommate, is a self proclaimed Misogynist. For those of you who don't know what the term means (personally - I didn't know there existed such a term until he started proclaiming) - It means "Women Hater!"


Till Dec-25-2007, I thought he was just joking. But on Christmas Eve, he proved it beyond any doubt.

I have this really good friend called Sophiya Harry, who, as is obvious from the name, is a christian. She had offered to bring me Christmas lunch from her home. The thought of mouth watering home made Biriyani compelled me to agree to her offer.
Since I had to be at work on Christmas eve, she had graciously agreed to drop off the package at my work place.

But, as you would've read from my previous blog, I ended up in a bike accident on Christmas Eve, and so, I couldn't make it to work. On the way back home, from the hospital, it suddenly "clicked" that since I hadn't updated her about my accident, Sophi would probably end up heading over to my office with my lunch. So, I called her up. This is how our conversation pretty much went:

Me: "Hey Sophi ... Have you started from home yet?"
Sophi: "No Shaa ... I'll be starting in another 10 minutes. Why?"
Me: "Well ... If you haven't started, don't bother. I didn't go to office today."
Sophi: "Hmph ... Are you cancelling out on me?"
Me: "Not really ... I had a bike accident - and I am in no position to go to work right now!"
Sophi: "Bike Accident ... What the Heck!!! Where the hell where you looking??? Are you alright now???"

Everyone who has a female friend would know that girls tend to over react when told about stuff like this. In this case, Sophi, was practically hysteric when she heard what had happened!

Me: "Well ... I just wanted to tell you not to head over to my office - As I won't be there!"
Sophi: "I'll come over to your place ... No issues!"
Me: "Don't bother - Its ok. I'll manage."
Sophi: "How dare you say Don't Bother ... Idiot ... I'm coming over - Period!"
Me: "Well in that case - Please bring food for 3 people. I have both my roomies with me. And we're all very hungry."
Sophi: "No Problemo ... I'll be over in another hour max."
Me: "Fine by me ... Thanks again!"


Once I got off the phone, I tell my roomies (Dileep and Sajith) that Xmas Biriyani is on its way and that my friend Sophi would be bringing it in a couple of hours. The first question that Sajith asked me was - "Is she hot?", which is practically the same thing I'd have asked anyone if they mentioned something about a girl to me. So, I replied, "Not really ... Don't have any high hopes bro!"

A good 3 1/2 hours later (Oh ... Forgot to mention it. I've known Sophi for more than a year now. And one thing I learnt - the hard way - is that Sophi never makes an appointment on time. If she says she'll do somethign in 1 hour, what she actually meant is she'll do it in 4 hours! But heck - justice be done - thats how girls are in general!!!), Sophi had still not arrived at home, and Dileep was all ticked off and has practically started swearing at her.

Thankfully, by the 4 hour mark she got in. Dileep was at the computer playing some computer game, and Sajith was enjoying a quick nap. I thought the polite thing to do would be to introduce her to my roomies. Since Dileep was the one awake - I said "Sophi - This is Dileep ... Dileep - This is Sophi!"

The bugger just turned sideways, saw her, gave a disgusted and shmuck look, and then went back to his game. Obviously, Sophi felt insulted and hurt at this sort of a reaction. That much was obvious from the confused and puzzled look she gave me. Since this is the sort of reaction I got from Dileep, I didn't bother with introducing Sajith.

We went to my room where I explained - or should I say was "interrogated" - into the specifics of my accident.
A couple of minutes later, she said that she had to leave as her family was expecting her and that it'd be nice if I returned her the vessels in which she bought us the food.

Since Dileep was acting hostile, I didn't compel her to stay and have lunch with us. The last thing I wanted was my roommate's behavior to hurt/insult her even more.

When I told Dileep to help me with transferring the food to our vessels so that I can return hers, and thereby she could leave, the fellow seemed very enthused. It was as if he was ready to do anything to get her to leave the house.

In 2 mins everything was done and Dileep had gone back to his "game". I couldn't do anything but make it seem that my roomies were busy/engrossed in the game and that's why they were acting weird, and that generally they were very nice people.
With a dampened and insulted spirit - I thanked her for the food, and she left!



Once she was gone, I confronted Dileep asking him why he had behaved so weirdly with my friend and that I had felt insulted and hurt the way things turned out. He was like - "I interacted well with your friend Anbarasu when I came in the morning didn't I. I just didn't feel like interacting with this girl - Period!"

Since I knew he was a Misogynist, I knew there was no point in pressing my case. I just left it at that.


So, my take home out of the entire episode is, If any gal chums do come home - Don't introduce them to Dileep!!!

An unforgettable Christmas

25 December 2007 is one day I will not forget in a hurry ...

My day began as a very ordinary one. I got up around 10 am, and since I had some pending work at office, I decided to head out to office around 11.30 am. I had hardly gone 300 meters from house when I ended up in an accident. Yes - AN ACCIDENT!


Let me explain, how it happened. I took a left from the main road, which by the way is right next to my house, to hit a road which takes me. I am renowned "rash" driver, but, trust me when I say - today, I was doing 40 Km/hr tops. I was hardly 50 meters into this road when I saw this kid try to cross the street in his Kinetic Activa Scooter. And by kid, I mean he was around 13 - 15 years old. Yes - you guessed it right - not even legally aged to drive a bike!

So, I must've had at the max 5 meters between me and him - when I saw him. I slammed on the brakes - both front and rear - and hit the horn as well. But that stupid sick son-of-a-bitch just kept coming. And as you would've guessed it by now - I ended up ramming into him.

The first thing that happened was - atleast what I recall now was - I went flying and landed head first on the tarred road. Thanks to my helmet - I lived. I remember the force with which I slammed down - and trust me when I say - it was freaking hard! I am 101% sure that if not for that helmet - I'd have died on the spot! Going on, after my head-first plop, my body followed suit. To be more precise, my hip was the next thing to touch the tarmac. Thanks to the momentum my 115 kilos frame commands, it didn't stop there. I went skidding for a meter or two (I have a couple of cuts and abrasions on my hands and feet to prove that).

For a brief second, I lay on the road trying to grasp what had just happened in the last 2 seconds. I saw people crowding around me and somehow, I managed to get up. Thats when the stinging pain hit me. My hip was just bursting in pain. It was just absolutely agony! Commanding all the energy I had, I walked over to the side of the road where there was a slab to sit and sat down, lest I end up being run over by some other passing vehicle.

That's where I saw the kid who's bike I had rammed into. Surprisingly, he didn't have a scratch on him. And neither did his bike, which - for the sake of being honest - infuriated me. Come on, I had just got my hip busted and my bike trashed, and there was this kid - whose mistake it was in the first place - who didn't have a scratch on him or his bike! I had every reason to pissed - Didn't I?

The weird part was, he didn't even ask me how I was and how I felt. The kid just wanted to flee from the spot. Come to think of it - It was the most natural thing for him to do - given that he, as a minor, didn't have a license, and in the event the cops came, he'd be arrested on a non bailable offence!
So, he tried to get on his bike and flee. But, the people who had gathered at the spot, prevented him doing so. The kid persisted in his attempts - and resulted getting slapped a couple of times by the irate mob.

Someone in the group handed me the keys of the Activa and said - "Don't give him the keys till someone from his home comes here!". It made sense to me - so I pocketed the keys. The next second, the kid came running to me and kind of demanded that I give him the keys to his bike. It infuriated me and the first things out of my mouth were - "Do you have a license ... Wait till the cops get here and then I'll see whether I want to hand over your keys! The kid just froze at the mention of the cops. The next second he was like - "Forgive me bhaiyya ... It won't happen again!".
I knew that if I pressed charges, the kid would have gone to jail. Its not like I had anything personal against the kid, but, my bike obviously had taken a beating, and I wanted his parents to pay for the damage. Period! There was now way I was going to compromise on that!
So, I told him - "Go call your parents; I want to talk to them! If they don't come - I'll call the police!"

The kid continued with his begging, but I paid a deaf year to him and his pleas. My prime concern right now was to check whether I had indeed broken my hip, or, was it just a sprain. With this in mind, I headed over to the nearest hospital - Spurthy Hospital - which was about 100 metres from the spot where I had the accident.
Thankfully, a gentleman, who had been a part of the crowd, and had seen me limping off towards the hospital, offered me a lift. I promptly took it.

30 mins later, I was 500 bucks poorer, but the doctor had given me the good news - it wasn't a fracture. Just a "impact" injury.
To quote him:

Doc: "Its not a fracture ... The X-Ray confirms it!"
Me: "Are you absolutely sure ... It hurts a damn lot you know!!!"
Doc: "What’s you're weight son?"
Me: "About 115 kilos!"
Doc: "Well ... You see ... If you were my size - you're hips might not have hurt so much. But, at 115 kilos - its bound to hurt a lot after a fall like that!"

Although, under ordinary circumstances, I would've considered that statement as an inciting/insulting one, today - it was music to my ears!

As I head out of the hospital, the kid had bought a few of his relatives along with him for "negotiations". Trust me when I say - they all looked like shady characters - The typical goons and hitmen you see in Tamil movies!

I was in mood to bargain or argue, so I told them very clearly - "You see - my bikes been damaged. I wont press any charges if you pay for whatever cost I will incur for it. Else - I have no other option but to file a police case!"
Although very hesitant, the kids uncle, agreed!


I rode the bike - yes, I RODE IT - to my neighboring mechanic shop and told him - "Bhaiyaa ... I just met with an accident - the bikes been fucked big time ... Please check and see what’s wrong and how much it's going to cost to repair it!"
A quick inspection later he says - "500 bucks". I just looked at the kids uncle, and I guess he understood what I meant by that. He promptly paid the mechanic the prescribed amount. I handed over the keys to him, told the kid - "Next time - please try to be more careful!", and we all parted our separate ways!




What a wonderful way to celebrate Christmas eh!!!

Paris Hilton - Mutilated !!!

A TV show host MUTILATES Paris Hilton

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=49k-BbYHBCw

Life in an IT Company

This is a kick arse video I saw today. I just wanted to share it with you guys!!!

Whats it about:

Its about how we software professionals spend our days at "work". I'm sure you'll enjoy it ...

:D


Link - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6f73o3iGwv8

Hell Hath No Fury Like A Womans' Scorn

I stumbled upon this audio clip of some girl - Neha - abusing her former boyfriend - Vaibhav - for dumping her.

The girl thought she was getting revenge, but the smart-ass Vaibhav got his revenge by recording the whole conversation and posting it on the internet. Maybe - to some of you atleast - it sounds cheap, but - as per me - it was just tit-for-tat!!!


You can get the audio clip here:

http://www.esnips.com/doc/6e744482-6c4d-4ec9-9b90-2f559ef14320/Girl-Shouting-over-her-BF-dumping-her.

Get this widget | Track details | eSnips Social DNA

Yogi B and Natchatra - Tamil Rap

I found this Tamil Rap Song. It was Awesome ... Stupendous even ...


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uQSDr4609BU





The lyrics of the song is as follows:

makkalukku ne eduthu sollu

dam it's going to blow
thaavum nadhiyalai naan
baby u should know
koovum siru kuyil naan
isai kalaingan en aasaigaL aayiram
ninaithathu paliththadhu

dam it's going to blow
thaavum nadhiyalai naan
baby u should know
koovum siru kuyil naan
isai kalaingan en aasaigaL aayiram
ninaithathu paliththadhu

en urai thuvangu mun nalla ullangalukku nanri
nanri thaaye ~ nee idu~thangi thandhai neeyo ~sumaithangi
pasi kodumai nadai pathayil urakam
aasai kidathayil~kaaranam iraivanin irakam
ethanai emaatram anu dhinam avamaanam
edhaiyum thangum ullam thodarum isai payanam
tholaivu vaanam poda vendom natchatiram
thodarndhu poradum kaliganin manam

thotakal thulaikathu anu gundu thagarkkadhu
avamaanam en uyirey alikkadhu
adi karam en kanavai thadukkadhu
karuppina sol isai maidham kidakkatum
sethapin soli isai | selvanthan | pirakkattum
rekkai koondil viruppangal ini nigalum
brahmikavaikkum paatey ini thodarum
pudiya parimaana padai eduppom
natchathirangalin jananamathai mudivu eduppom

dam it's going to blow ----- (2)

angara thanduvom matmajothil~adaiyum neram
aay thiru mugam sen nirumbulee kondu garbam
andha sarasaram adangee alambel vaaai thalam.
sutham nilavaadhu adiga budiga natpu nelabey kolabey sedhapey badhbey sedhabey sumandhu thenna maram aaka naanga neeka
vidabey vidabey vidabey vidabey un karunai kalaivaaney
isai thaayey kalai arul thaa nee
ullai needhi indha rap paaatathil aaga mothatthil
pasuthoppol theeya puli anaindhavanukku unna
we lie vallavn manadhil aasai kottai katti pozhuludupokku avan ivan paathu vetti peychu
peychukku ennada peychu pasangala ippo ennada aachu vandha nasaikkal kai kodi serthadhu
varumo theriyadhu vallavanin maru pagudhi annaney pugal keetu padam vidum thodangumey idhu voru

netren arangile nizhalgaLin naadagam
indren yedhirile nijangaLin dharisanam
varungaalam vasantha kaalam
naaLum mangalam
varungaalam vasantha kaalam
naaLum mangalam
isaikkena isaikindra rasigargaL raajjiyam
yenake dhaan

Evanukkumey theiryadhu, onakku sonnal puriyadhu
now to take you back flashback when i was just little
My senti couple next to a corny temple.
i was a inga gundu paiya...enga appa appa chellam
ottagam maari ponom.ennai malai vandha vellum.
pudhiya palaiya ulagugal maara ..
angilamum tamilum kalacharangal modha
kandu pudichenada indha hip hop
andru mudhal inru varai market dont stop
market dont quit sodhanai vedhanai en kanner thudaikka appam thumbikkai en nambikkai
Kola lumpur ho....chennai london tamilan mc mudhalvan vallavan rap isai kalai vidhiin sambrathayam
madai thirandhu nadi alai puli ka pol nee thaavum





The you can find the original song below:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PucI_AZLaA0





With a little googling i got the lyrics of the original song as well:

madai thirandhu thaavum nadhiyalai naan
manam thirandhu koovum siru kuyil naan
isai kalaingan en aasaigaL aayiram
ninaithathu paliththadhu ho
Nanananna thananananna nananana

hey ho papappaaa (well sung by SPB)

kaalam kanindhadhu kadhavugaL thirandhadhu
gnanam viLaindhadhu nallisai pirandhadhu
pudhu raagam padaippadhaale naanum iraivane

pudhu raagam padaippadhaale naanum iraivane

viralilum kuralilum swarangalin naattiyam
amaithen naan

madai thirandhu thaavum nadhiyalai naan
manam thirandhu koovum siru kuyil naan
isai kalaingan en aasaigaL aayiram
ninaithathu paliththadhu ho

netren arangile nizhalgaLin naadagam
indren yedhirile nijangaLin dharisanam
varungaalam vasantha kaalam
naaLum mangalam

varungaalam vasantha kaalam
naaLum mangalam

isaikkena isaikindra rasigargaL raajjiyam
yenake dhaan

madai thirandhu thaavum nadhiyalai naan
manam thirandhu koovum siru kuyil naan
isai kalaingan en aasaigaL aayiram
ninaithathu paliththadhu ho

My Most Memorable Trip

These days, if its the start of the month - I take a flight, if its the mid of the month - I take an A/C Volvo, if its the end of the month - depending on my budget, I take a train or walk (just kidding about that last part).

A few of the major factors, to me at least, whilst deciding the mode of transportation are - Comfort, Time of transit, Luxury - even if it means an extra cost/premium

These days - I can't even dream of traveling by a Non A/C Train or Bus. It feels as though I wouldn't last 2 minutes inside the bus/train.

I do not know whether to put the blame it on having a decent "spendable" income or the growing trend of consumerism? But, I do know one thing - this wasn't how I was when I was in college.

I remember one incident in particular - when I was required to travel from Calicut to Chennai for my cousin sisters wedding. Initially, mom had ordered me and my brother not to come for the marriage (we had exams the following week - and she wanted us to sit and prepare for em). But in the last minute, giving in to pressure from my sis and her family, she relented and asked us to come for the marriage.

It was obvious that we wouldn't get "reserved" tickets (obviously we're talking about Second Sleeper Class tickets) since our travel plans were conceptualized during the 13th hour.

So we (me and my bro) didn't even bother trying to check whether tickets were available for that day.

The scheduled departure of the train was 5.15 pm. But, this was the Indian Railways we are talking about. And their notoriety for "never being on time" was world famous. So - we decide to gamble on that and, hence, we left college only around 4.00 pm.

The trip to Calicut city would take 35 mins tops. And that still left us with about 30 mins to get to the railway station from the bus stop, get tickets for the train, stock up on some eatables/magazines and board the train.

But you know how fate has something else in store for us. That day - on a route where buses roar down once in every 3 mins - we had to stand for a good 20 mins before we got into a bus going to the city.

I told my bro - "Another 35 mins to the city. If the train is late by 10 mins, we should still be able to make it!” My bro was like "Chetts ... Its the Indian Railways ... They're always late ... You can count on them for that!"

But boy - were we going to be proved wrong or what!!!

Another 40 mins later, we were at the rly station. And what we saw there left me gaping. There was a kilometer long queue (I'm exaggerating again ... But the queue WAS indeed huuuuuuuuuuge!!!)

This was something I had not factored into my estimates. "Shit ... We're going to miss the train today!"

My bro said "Chetts ... You stand in the queue ... I'll get something to eat and drink. That way we'll save some time...”

Another grueling 20 mins later, I get tickets for both my bro, and me and we run to platform # 3. Climbing the overhead bridges was out of the question.

1. It was a lot of effort.
2. It was for oldies.
3. And more importantly - I didn't have time for that!!!

So, we jump platforms and finally we're on platform 3. I notice that the Chennai mail is arriving on platform 3. "But wait ... Its going too fast. At this rate - half the compartments will be outside the station. Oh shit ... Maybe its not arriving ... Its LEAVING!!!"

I ask a vendor on the platform "Chettaa ... Is this train arriving or leaving?" The vendor confirmed my fears "Its leaving son...”

I turned to my bro "Appu ... Its leaving ... Lets make a run for it ... We'll try to board the train!!!"

Without a protest, Appu - my brother - started sprinting down the platform and then magically he boarded the train.

I too was sprinting and as I tried to board the train - the most unexpected thing happened ... I lost my balance, tumbled and fell ...

People started crowding around me. But, my mind was racing - "Appu is on the train. He doesn't have any cash with him ... And I've got the tickets ... Fuck ... He doesn't even have a phone ... How can I tell him to get off at the next station! What if he gets caught by a son-off-a-bitch TTR ... He's gonna get into a real soup if that happens!!!"

That last part really scared me. I should say scared me enough to get up, and start sprinting again. I had sprained my left leg, and was trying hard to ignore the protest it was trying to voice. "I have to get on the train ... Else Appu will be in trouble!" was the only thing that was racing through my mind.

Heck - the vendors who had seen me fall down, get up and pace down the platform on my suicidal mission had decided to take matters into their hands. A couple of them pulled at my shoulders and bags, thereby slowing me down. Slowed me to a full stop I must say.

The vendors said - in one voice - "Don't worry son ... You can take the next train ..."

I was pissed off ... I was angry ... I had deserted my bro ... And he was helpless there ... And there was nothing I could do about it !!!

I could feel tears well up in my eyes ... "Sorry Appu ... Really Sorry!!!" was the only thing I could think off.

But, wait. I could see him running toward me. "What’s happening ... How come he got off the train?"

I was bewildered at what I was seeing. I was happy. Elated I believe is the more apt term!

My bro runs up to me and goes "Chetts ... Are u alright?” Instead of answering his question, I ask a few of my own - "Da Appu ... What're u doing here? I thought u were on the train!"

It was a stupid statement, but in my defense - I had just fallen down whilst trying to board a moving train ... And I was stunned by the incident!

"I saw you fall off the train you fat fuck ... So I jumped off as well!!!" he retorted. "Are you alright da?" was my next question. "Ur the one who fell down ... Are U alright?" came a curt reply.

"Yup ... I'm ok bro... A lil shaken – but I’m good!!!”

I briefed him about what had just happened in the last 3 mins. The tense moment had now diffused itself. And another 10 mins later - we were passing comment about the girls at the station.

Another 45 mins of oogling at chicks later, we board the intercity express. It took us to Shorannur from where we took a connecting "Passenger Train" (read as a freaking slow train which stops everywhere!) to Palghat. We sleep on the Palghat station platform for 2 hours before we get our connection train to Chennai.

Half way into our journey from Palghat to Chennai, the “Railway Ticket Checking Squad” inspectors enters our general compartment and starts demanding that we show our tickets. Unflinching, I showed them our tickets. I had just escaped a near-life situation at the railway station. After that - these ticket collectors were nothing – especially – since I did have tickets!

But, my smile had vanished the second he said - "This is an express class train ticket. You're traveling on a super-fast class train. You'll have to pay a fine of 400 per head! That’s 800 rupees for this ticket for two!"

"First falling off a running train, and now this. This just isn't my day ... FUCKING HELL!!!"

This is where my extended expertise in the area of begging and pleading (with my professors back in college - for that 1 mark ... or that attendance shortage issue I had) came to my rescue.

Another 20 mins later, the Inspector had found some other bakra's to fine (these guys didn't have tickets at all. A big offense compared to my smaller one). And so - he let us go scot-free.

6 am, and we are finally at Chennai Central railway station. Another 35 mins and a short trip via the metro rail and we are my cousins place.

But the story doesn’t end there ... We got a piece of mind from my uncle, aunty, mom, dad, cousin brother and a few other relatives for turning up late and another round of blasting when we narrated the incidents that happened during our journey.

On the whole - that was the most adventurous trip I had ever had and probably will ever have.

I got this mail on my yahoo ID yesterday.


******************************************************************************************

HELLO DEAR

GREETINGS, PERMIT ME TO INFORM YOU OF MY DESIRE OF GOING INTO
BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU.DEAR,IT IS MU GREAT INTEREST AND THE TRUST
WHICH I HAVE IN YOU,THOUGH WE HAVE NOT MET BEFORE,NEITHER HAVE WE SEEN
FOR THE FIRST TIME,BUT BEFORE I PICK UP YOUR NAME AND WRITE TO YOU I
PRAYED OVER IT THAT GOD SHOULD DIRECT ME TO A TRUST WOULTHY AND GOD
FEARING PARTNER WHO WILL HELP ME OUT OVER MY PROBLEM.
FOR THIS PERMIT ME TO GO INTO BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU,SINCE I
HAVE MADE UP MY MIND TO DO THIS BUSINESS WITH YOU. I GOT YOUR NAME AND
CONTACT FROM THE IVOIRIAN CHAMBERS OF COMMERCE AND INDUSTRIES I PRAYED
OVER IT AND SELECT YOUR NAME AMONG OTHER NAMES DUE TO ITS ESTEEMING NATURE AND THE RECOMMENDATIONS GIVEN TO ME AS A REPUTABLE AND TRUST WORLTHY PERSON THAT I CAN DO BUSINESS WITH AND BY THE RECOMMENDATION.I MUST NOT HESITATE TO CONFIDE IN YOU FOR THIS SIMPLE AND SINCERE BUSINESS.

I AM AMINA AHMED; THE ONLY DAUGHTER OF LATE MR AND MRS MOHAMMED AHMED.MY FATHER WAS A VERY WEALTHY COCOA MERCHANT AND GOLD PRODUCER HERE IN ABIDJAN,THE ECONOMIC CAPITAL OF IVORY COAST BEFORE HE WAS POISONED TO DEATH BY HIS BUSINESS ASSOCIATES ON ONE OF THEIR OUTING TO DISCCUS ON A BUSINESS DEAL. WHILE MY MOTHER DIED WHEN AM STILL A KID.SO MY FATHER TOOK ME SO SPECIAL BECAUSE I AM MOTHERLESS.

BEFORE THE DEATH OF MY FATHER ON 30TH DEC. 2003 IN PRIVATE HOSPITAL
HERE IN ABIDJAN. HE SECRETLY CALLED ME ON HIS BEDSIDE AND TOLD ME THAT HE
HAS A SUM OF, (THIRTY MILLION US DOLLARS) LEFT IN A SUSPENSE ACCOUNT IN
A BANK AFFLIATE IVORY COAST AND THAT HE USED MY NAME AS HIS ONLY
DAUGHTER FOR THE NEXT OF KIN IN DEPOSITING OF THE FUND AND HERE IS AN
ATTACHMENTS OF MY PHOTOS AND THE RECEIT USED IN DEPOSITING THE FUND.
HE ALSO EXPLAINED TO ME THAT IT WAS BECAUSE OF THIS WEALTH AND SOME
HUGE AMOUNT OF MONEY HIS BUSINESS ASSOCIATES SUPPOSED TO BALANCE HIM FROM THE DEAL THEY HAD THAT HE WAS POISONED BY HIS BUSINESS ASSOCIATES,THAT I SHOULD SEEK FOR A GOD FEARING FOREIGN PARTNER IN THE COUNTRY OF MY CHOICE WHERE I WILL TRANSFER THIS MONEY AND USE IT FOR INVESTMENT PURPOSE,(SUCH AS REAL ESTATE MANAGEMENT).

DEAR, I AM HONOURABLY SEEKING YOUR ASSISTANCE IN THE FOLLOWING WAYS.
1) TO PROVIDE A BANK ACCOUNT WHERE THIS MONEY WILL BE TRANSFERRED TO.
2) TO SERVE AS THE GUARDIAN OF THIS SINCE I AM A GIRL OF 22 YEARS.
3) TO MAKE ARRANGEMENT FOR ME TO COME OVER TO YOUR COUNTRY TO FURTHER
MY EDUCATION AND TO SECURE A RESIDENT PERMIT IN YOUR COUNRY FOR ME.
4) SOMEONE TO TRUST FOR THE SAFETY OF THE FUND.

MOREOVER DEAR, I AM WILLING TO OFFER YOU 25% OF THE SUM AS COMPENSATION FOR EFFORT INPUT AFTER THE SUCCESSFUL TRANSFER OF THIS FUND TO YOUR DESIGNATE ACCOUNT OVERSEAS.
ANTICIPATING TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON.

THANKS AND GOD BLESS.
BEST REGARDS,
AMINA AHMED.

******************************************************************************************


I'm not new to spam mails, but this one was hilarious. I mean, a girl whose mom and dad are dead, wants to give me 25% of 30 million dollars. And in return all she expects is
1) TO PROVIDE A BANK ACCOUNT WHERE THIS MONEY WILL BE TRANSFERRED TO.
2) TO SERVE AS THE GUARDIAN OF THIS SINCE I AM A GIRL OF 22 YEARS.
3) TO MAKE ARRANGEMENT FOR ME TO COME OVER TO YOUR COUNTRY TO FURTHER
MY EDUCATION AND TO SECURE A RESIDENT PERMIT IN YOUR COUNRY FOR ME.
4) SOMEONE TO TRUST FOR THE SAFETY OF THE FUND.


OMFG ... Who is she kidding !!!


:D

A Tribute to the Worlds Fastest Bike

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e02qT3fXH2c



I was left wondering - Why does the R6 even bother trying to compete with the Busa???


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vj8QQAyGrY8




If the R6 couldn't do anything, whats an R1 going to do ?


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qaYcvN5yNGg




The true king of the road !!!

CAT preps.

After giving about 8 Mock CAT's, I've realized that I'm improving. From a dismal 33% in the first one to the 90% I got in the last one, I guess I've come a long way.

But, if I want to crack the CAT, I need to throw in a lot many more man-hours into preparations. After all it takes atleast a 99.9% to be able to get into any of the IIM's.


Wish me luck (I'll need as much of it as I can get!)

:P

The Average American Male by Chad Kultgen

After seeing the video promos of 'The Average American Male' on youtube


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=18llwX4dMTo


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5WSczMVN6ns


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FMFoAvnzxl4



I just had to read it. Since Landmark, The Forum, did not have a copy of the book, I got a friend of mine - returning from the US - to purchase a copy for me.

And guess what... At a price tag of $ 15 (INR 600), its worth every penny. The author has gone into gory details as to how sexually charged up the mind of an average American guy is (any guy for that matter is overtly sexually charged up). It also goes on to talk about the expectations girls have when they're in a relation v/s the expectations of a guy in the same.


On the whole, My Verdict is that its a Must Read for all the guys out there. Girls - I'd suggest you stay away from it ...
(The friend who got me the book - who is a girl btw - took the liberty of reading it. And she tells me she was/is completely disgusted about the fact that 'is this how/what you guys really think?')

Bangalore v/s Chennai.

I used to live in Chennai for close to a year and half. But, that was before moving to Bangalore (I've been in Bangalore for close to a year now).

And if you ask me to compare these two cities I have only one thing to say:


Bangalore - Climate is Cold, Babes are Hot !!!

Chennai - Climate is Hot, Babes are Cold !!!


As Simple As That ...

Looted by the cops!!!

After a relatively less fucked up Mock CAT exam (I use relatively less because all my other Mock CAT exams were completely fucked up, whereas this one was a tad better than before!) I decide to head home and catch up on some lost sleep. And guess what ???

I got caught by the Traffic Cops ... The lil git was hiding behind some parked cars. He jumped out, turned my bike off and took my keys with him. Before I realized what had happened, he muttered - "RC Book, License, Emission Test, Road Tax ..."

Well, I had (atleast I thought I did) all these papers. So what the heck - I had no need to worry at all! I gave him a smile of confidence and said - "Can I have my keys back? My papers are in the utility box, and I need my keys to open it!"
The cop, albeit a little shock (I think he was expecting me to panic!), handed over my keys, and I took it (snatched it was more like it) and headed over to my bike.

A second later, when I opened the utility box (that's where I keep my bikes papers), I realized, I had left them at home.

I was smiling the wrong way now ... And - like the dementor's from Harry Potter books - I think he sensed my misery!

I thought to myself - "Hey, maybe I'll explain it to him ... And he'll let me off ..."

I headed over to the cop and explained to him - "Sir... I've left them at home, if you want you can come with me and take a look!"

Boy ... Was I in for a shock!


He started shaking his head (That was definitely not a good sign) ... And this is what he said
"No ... No ... No RC Book ... No Emission Test ... No Insurance ... No Road Tax ...
(Opening a newspaper he had with him) and started scribbling:
RC - 300
Emission - 200
Insurance - 400
Tax - 1000


you have to pay a court fine - Rs. 1700 !!!
"

(At the back of my head I was wondering - since when is 300+200+400+1000 = 1700 ... This guy probably flunked Maths in school ... But heck - If i correct him, I would probably end up paying more fine ... So - I should probably shut up !!!)


What hit me was not the amount of fine I was asked to pay. Naaaa ... 1700 was not a big deal (I've had cops brouhaha estimates of 15,000 bucks worth of traffic offenses whilst I was in Chennai)
It was the thought of having those jerks haul my bike off to their station - and on top of that having to go to the court to pay a fine - that made me panic!

I don't know why, but I've always had this phobia for cops. Maybe its has a lot to do with watching a lot of movies about the Kerala Police - who are notorious for beating the shit out of anyone they get their hands on. What the heck - "I'm a little afraid of cops ... Period!"

Well ... coming back to the story - The copper had me in front of him trembling ... And by then I had decided - I am not going to let these creeps haul my bike away. Let me try bribing him ... Works all the time.

So, I ask the cop to come with me, and ask him, "Sir ... Is there an ATM nearby? If yes, can't we solve this issue without a fine?"
He got my drift ... Cause the next thing he was saying - albeit half-heartedly- was "No ... No ... Court fine ... Court fine ... (And pointing vigorously at numbers he has scribbled)"

I decided to up the bargain (There was no chance I was gonna let these creeps manhandle my bike).
"Sir ... 500 bucks ...."

That did the trick. He was like "No ... No ... 1700 fine ... nothing short of 1000 ..."
Balls I was going to give him 1000 bucks ... "Sir ... month end ... I'm broke ... Max I can give is 500!"

"No ... No ... 1700 fine ... give me atleast 700 ..."

Well - It was working so far ... "Sir ... No Sir ... Month end sir ... no money sir ... 500 ... please!"

After a few more mins of bargaining - he relented, and I headed over to nearest ATM to get the cash.
I knew if I withdrew more than 500 - that creep would siphon it off as well. So - I just took 500 and headed back to him.

"Sir ... Here's the 500 ..."

The jerk takes the 500 bucks, and starts counting. I was left wondering - You sick prick ... You're worse than a robber! Atleast that fellow doesn't stand and count his loot in front of you!!!
#$@#$@$#"

"Only 500 ... What man ... 700 ..." You should have seen the look on his face. It was as if he was begging ... I had to control an urge to blurt out laughing (Cause - that would mean another 500 bucks in "fines")
:P

I took my wallet out, and showed him - "Sir ... Only 60 more bucks left ... No money sir ... I'm broke ... Month end!!!"

The copper eyes my wallet and says "Ok ... give me that 60 as well !!!"


I was too stunned to react ... What the fuck was this ... He was out to loot me and heck, he must've thought - "Why not leave him bone dry while I'm at it !!!"


With a pleading look (I'm a good actor) - I retort - "Sir ... Please sir ... Only 60 bucks left for me till end of this month ... Please sir !!!"

Thankfully he says ... "Ok ... Fine !!!"


And guess what - the icing on the cake - He shakes hands with me ... It was as if - I had done some business with him, was paying him for services, and he was saying - "Thank you ... Please come back anytime!"

I took his hands, gave it a quick shake, got on my bike, and sped home ... No way in hell I'm gonnna stop for another cop !!!

Boys v/s Girls - The Eternal Argument !!!

"Why are you men such bloody chauvinists?"

Why is that every girl has to bring this topic up??? And that too in the middle of a seemingly normal conversation??? And on top of that the zeal with which they defend the fairer sex and try to portray themselves as the oppressed class - that's even more strange. And all that - before I even open my mouth in defense!!!

Come on dudette ... This is the 21st century and one would go to jail if they try to oppress you because "your a girl"! Or is it just that you get a kick in saying so? Or maybe it's the fact that whilst "discussing" this topic, you get to point fingers at guys - something girls love doing!!!

And to add to the agony - the second I start saying something in favor of guys (obviously I will - I'm on their side remember!) - I get branded as a Male Chauvinist Pig aka MCP.

But, let me ask you this - doesn't supporting girls/women and all those things they say/do make you a Female Chauvinist Pig, or at the least a Fanatic Feminist.

"NO ... It doesn't!!!"
Thats the answer I got from - not 1, or 2 or 3 - but every single girl who ends up bringing this god-dammed topic!!!


Well ... What else can I say besides - "I've got so used to ending up in such discussions and being termed a "Bloody MCP" that I don't care anymore."


As the wise say - "Men are from Mars, and Women are from Venus!"

You'll never understand us .... And neither will we understand you ... So lets just leave it at that shall we!

Long time ... No girls !!!

Just the other day I was thinking to myself - "Its been a really really long while hasn't it...."

If you're wondering - what am I referring too ... I was talking about - "Since I met some happening female!"

The last time I hung out with some cool chicks was when I was working for Wipro, Chennai. Yes ... Chennai. I has a couple of friends there who were nice to hang out with. Although these babes were no where near "HOT" - they had sweet demeanours and their mind-set and attitudes were definitely hip!

When I left Chennai for Bangalore - one of the things in my mind was - "Man ... There are a lot of hot babes in Bangalore - probably even more than there are "girls" in Chennai... I'm going to have a field day flirting with them!!!"
And now, close to a year after I landed here, the number of girls I've become friends with (read as whose phone numbers I have) = 1.
(She and I were working on the same project for a bit, and I had to siphon her number from our company's employee details portal so that I could inform her about a team meeting we were having ... Pathetic isn't it ... Well ... Guess what - I know!!!)


The story begins with my entry into NITC (National Institute of Technology, Calicut) - where all the brainy, albeit ugly, girls come to study. To add to agony, I was pursuing a degree in Mechanical Engg - a branch of study no girl ever takes. 4 years of that, and a placement in a software company, and I thought things are going to get brighter for me.

But heck - It just wasn't destined to be so. I ended up getting posted at Chennai. Paaandi land, as it is famously known, is (in)famous for the "deep fried" girls and their conservative attitudes.
I got a taste of just how "oven baked" these girls can get on day 1 of my landing in Chennai. But, the conservative attitudes - well ... That was something I learnt a couple of weeks later - the HARD WAY that too !!! (Well ... I tried to ask a certain girl at work out for a couple of drinks!!! The contemptuous looks and embers sparkling in her eyes after I had made that proposition would scare the shit out SATAN!).

But, justice be done, I met some really swell people during my stay there. Sujatha, Gayathri, Anjana, Anupama - you folks rock... I wouldn't have made it through my tenure there in Chennai and Wipro without you folks and those loooooooooooooong coffee breaks we used to have!!!

Then, as every IT professional with over 1+ yrs of work ex does, I decided to switch companies. And since my work location was Bangalore, I thought "Man ... God is finally warming upto me!"

And guess what - Yet again - I end up in an all boys team!!!

It leaves me thinking - "WHY ME ?????"

Kallada Travels - Maiden Voyage.

Well ... After yet another looooooooooong break, I am back in action. This time after my travel on a Kallada Travels A/C Sleeper bus. For those who don't know what Kallada Travels is - its a bus service you should avoid at all costs !!!

Now, before I let my emotions flow, let me get to the story ... I had gone home over the weekend, and owing to a lack of funds (month ends are really "dry" phases for me you see), and a lack of cheap air tickets available, I decided to travel by bus. So I asked my dad to get me a Bus ticket. I had asked him to take an A/C Sleeper for a plethora of reasons (1. I could lie down and sleep as compared to having to sit and sleep in a Volvo ; 2. It was A/C ; 3. Luxury man ... Luxury ... ; ....).
My dad being the nice person he is obliged without any questions.

Well ... Its 7.45 pm now and its raining back there in Cochin. I wait like an idiot for the bus that was supposed to have left town by now. Finally at 8.00 pm it arrives... And although a tad irritated, I rush to secure my seat.
(P.S: I cared two hoops about securing a seat. This wasn't Air Deccan where people rush to get the best seats - My ticket had a seat number and come what may -> That slot was reserved for me. So ... You're probably wondering why I was in a rush ... Well ... I forgot to mention, there were some ''babes'' in the crowd that were boarding the bus ... Now you know why I was in a hurry to board the bus eh !!!)

:P

I try hunting for seat number 10 (that was my seat), and I settle down. A min later, the bus conductor guy comes up to me and says "Sir ... There is a lady who has an upper berth ... And she would like a lower berth ... Would you mind exchanging seats with her ???"
Chivalrous as I am - I agreed ...

I get ready to move, and find my new my seat - berth number 15. For a sec - I am left wondering - Why in the world did I give up a lower berth in the front portion of the bus for a upper berth in the rear portion !!!
(For those of you who don't travel by bus much - the rear portion is generally very shaky as compared to the front portion !!!)
Heck - I was helping an old lady ... And I felt good about it !!!
:)

Now came the difficult part - fitting myself into the relatively cramped upper berth...
If your probably wondering why I was having a tough time "fitting" into the upper berth - I have a confession (thats the second confession today) to make - I am a lil beefy w.r.t. build (read as I am freaking FAT). And it ain't a very easy task to stuff all that flesh into a narrow section ...
Think of how difficult it was to close the lid on that overstuffed bag you always packed !!! Well - It was the same thing I was going through out there.
At that point I was cursing myself for three things:
1. All those Beers and shots of whisky I had when I hit pubs (liquor is a looooooooot of calories u see)
2. All those gym classes I paid for but never went to !!!
3. Why in the world did I have to be Chivalrous ... Grrrrrr !!!

Heck ... In the midst of all this pandemonium, my phone goes off - and when I pick up - I find its my bro who had come to see me off !!!
And that idiot was laughing his arse off seeing me in this delirious position. Grrrrrrrrr ... I felt like getting down and kicking his arse ... But I knew - if i do that - then I will need to spend another 20 mins trying to stuff myself in !!! So - I stuck to swearing at him over the phone and left it at that !!!
:D

Well ... Finally - The bus starts moving and I am glad ... For in another 12 hours my ordeal would be over !!!

Another 2 hours pass by and the I didn't realize I had dozed off ... All off a sudden I am jerked awake by a loud quarrel between two ladies in the seat right next to mine. My mind was like "Wow ... A fight ... that'll be fun to watch !!!"
I struggled to peer out and watch the masti ... It turned out - the Travel agency had alloted the same lower berth seat to two people, and neither of em were ready to let go and sleep in another one.
The characters involved were - A 45 year old loud mouthed aunty, and a 24 year old dull looking lady ... Since it wasn't an interesting pair - I went back to sleep. Another 15 mins later - the other passengers and the conductor convinced the younger girl to switch seats and the old lady piped down !!!

Finally some peace and quiet ... another 10 more hours to go ... and then Bangalore !!!
Well - thats what I thought !!!

8 am - My alarm goes off ... And I wake up thinking - "Shit I must've missed my stop !!!" ... I look out and see everything written in Tamil... I rub my eyes and the script is Tamil. Thats when the realization struck me - I was faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar from Bangalore !!!
:(

Another 3 hours pass and then I see Electronic City Phase I. Finally ... Something familiar ... I calculate at the back of my - "Another 30 more mins to hit Madivala ... Another 30 mins to brush, shower, get dressed and get to work ... In any case - I wont reach office before 12.30 ... What the heck - I don't have too much of work anyways !!! "

Thankfully, another 30 mins later - I got off the bus and as calculated another 30 mins - I am at work ...



Well ... Till my next travel .... Taaaaaataaaaaaaaaaa !!!

My First GoAir Flight

Well ... Sorry for the looooooooong delay between posts. But hey - I had to wait till I went flying again before I could write up on the experience right!!!

So ... On Friday (08/06/2007) I had to fly home (To Cochin) on some urgent personal work. And thanks to scary experience I had flying Air Deccan last time around, this time I decided to fly GoAir...

My thoughts were - worst-cum-worst-case it’d be as bad the Air Deccan Flight. With these thoughts in mind I head to the Airport around 4.30pm. I got to the Airport around 5.15 pm ... Well in time to check-in. I go to the smiling lady at the check in counter who tells me that the flight is late by 30 mins.

Obviously I was expecting that... But a few beers before a flight can make you really naughty (oh... I guess I forget to mention that. Around lunchtime I met up with one of my old college chums whom I hadn't seen for the last 2.5 yrs. For those ladies (and guys) who are reading this and aren't accustomed to the NITC'ian way of meeting batch mates - it means we went out to a watering hole, grab a couple of beers over which we talk about the good old college days and the chicks each one of has hit on in the last 2.5 yrs)

:+P

Well ... Now back to the story ...

So - under the influence of a few beers inside me - I ask the lady at the counter ... "Well... So… Nothing’s new eh... Tell me one thing ... Out of curiosity - I was wondering - Have your flights EVER taken off on time!!!"

Obviously she had not expected such a question from anyone, and the look on her face was evidence to that. She was giving me a dumbfound look, as if I had slapped her right across the face. Now that I think of it - I would like to think of it as a cute expression of confusedness ... Well ... she musters up a little courage and then says - "Sir ... Its the last sector ... So I guess we're eligible to fly a little late (wink)" ...

Grrrrrrr ... She had said the magic word ... How can someone be "eligible" to run late. Especially when I had paid to travel “on time” and was not looking to this supposedly value ad service of "traveling late". Obviously I was ticked off ... I retorted saying "Oh ... That’s something new ... Nice to hear a new reason!!! "

It felt so good to be able to hit back like that ...
The girl obviously knew when to quit - and she gave in ... And started to work on printing out my boarding pass.
With a wicked grin of achievement and dominance, I move to the security clearance area.

Another 30 minutes pass uneventfully and the boarding announcement for my flight gets aired on the announcement system. I was stunned ... “Man ... A delayed flight on time… This is definitely better than AirDeccan… What the heck - lets go board the flight ..." was what was running through my mind. And I rush towards the bus that was that would take me to my flight.

Now - as always, my mind is hyperactive thinking whether or not the Air Hostess is going to be attractive or I am in for an AirDeccan types let down.

The moment of truth - as I'd like to call it - had arrived... And guess what - this time I was not let down. I guess it has a lot to do with coming with completely pessimistic mindset, but the Air Hostess was pretty cute (pls note - I ain't using the term a BOMB ... I reserve that term only for the babes of Kingfisher).

Well ... At that moment - all i could think of was - 1600 rupess ‘vassool’... Yipeeeeeeeeeeeeee !!!
And to add to that elated feeling - the flight was a Airbus A320 unlike the Turboprop jets of AirDeccan. Honestly - I was very impressed!!!

Well ... I find my seat (Oh ... Forgot to mention - unlike the free seating model in AirDeccan, you get pre-allotted seats numbers on GoAir) and I see a girl (yup ... She aint one bit attractive ... Hence, I call her a girl) sitting on the aisle seat whereas mine is the Window one. Once I settle down - I smile at her. But she doesn't even smile back ... “That’s a rude one” I conjure up in mind!!!

I think - "What the heck she's not attractive anyways!!!" and open up my faithful lappy and start watching the hit Tamil flick "Unnalle Unnalle" ... The flight unfortunately was 6th in queue for push off. But since I am actively enjoying the movie, I dont realize the time flying.

Suddenly I realize that the girl sitting next to me is staring at my lappy ... Obviously I get uncomfortable. I really dont understand why - But its very weird when someone is staring at you ... You get all queasy and uncomfortable. Initially I thought the girl wanted to watch the movie. So I turn the monitor to an angle that she could also watch the movie. But 5 mins into that - I realize that she ain't even looking at my screen ... Moreover she was actively looking at the outside world. It suddenly registered that she was probably a "First time flyer" ... That’s when her nervousness, silence, and staring all started to make sense. I smiled an "I've been there ... Done that" smile at her and went back to my movie.

As always - the airhostess started off explaining the regular stuff. Everyone in the aircraft ignored them (I mean how many times do u listen to same things over and over again) - Everyone except the girl next to me ...

She was watching the airhostess in stark attention. Listening, processing and digesting every single word and instructions. It was hilarious to watch the expressions on her face. Especially when the airhostess started talking about hanging on to your floating seat cushions - the girl practically started panicking ... She immediately closed her eyes and was drawing crosses all across her forehead and chest and praying like her life depended on it...

I couldn’t control it any longer and burst out laughing. Thankfully, she must've thought it was a joke in the movie I was watching that caused me to laugh out so very hysterically. Brings meaning to the phrase ”Saved by the bell...”

:+D

The aircraft prepares for takes off - and the girl starts praying even more vehemently. After a while of seeing this amusement, I get bored and get back to my movie. A good hour passes by and we're about to touch down at Cochin airport. My movie is also over so I pack up lappy and prepare to land.

That’s when I notice that there is an eerie and maybe even hysteric look in the girl’s eyes. As usual she's staring out of the window. Curious as to what it is this time that freaking the girl - I look outside. Instantly I identified the culprit.

It was the flaps on the aircraft wings... At the time of landing, the flaps are raised to 30 degrees. This helps in braking the aircraft (I've recently started playing Microsoft Flight Simulator 2003 and hence my in-depth knowledge in this area). For this girl - it would've seemed like the wings were breaking apart. Poor girl - I felt sorry for her. I gave her a reassuring smile.

Maybe that did the trick, maybe it didn't. Cause the next sec - she was back to praying. At least it beats having to see the fear in her eyes!

Another 5 mins later - the aircraft touched down and we left the aircraft. I actually saw the girl heave a sigh of relief and rush out of the plane.

On the whole - It was an enjoyable flight with a nice humorous element tossed into it in the form of that first time flyer dudette.

I will definitely fly GoAir again ... But for my next flight - I want to try “Paramount Airways”. Although they are a tad on the expensive end - With my Bonus and Pay Hike around the corner (hopefully it will be good enough to let me buy em tickets… So If my manager is reading this – please give me an excellent appraisal!!!) -> I am gearing to pay the extra premium and fly business class.

:)

Wish me luck...

Till my next post - Bbye !!!

My First Air Deccan Flight

This is pretty much my first time blogging. And what better way to start this wonderful hobby than by describing my First trip on board Air Deccan.

My flight to Cochin was scheduled for departure at 6.50 pm on the 26th of April 2007. Ofcourse I had travelled by Air aplenty before (on company trips and dad paid vacations), but this trip was different. It was the first trip that I had shelled out my hard earned money to purchase a flight ticket (Did i mention that I used to travel via un-reserved general class in trains before I started working :D )

Well ... Since it was my money involved here - the expectations were naturally on the upper end. Esp - like all guys who've heard of Kingfisher Airlines before - that of getting to ogle over some hot babe of an Airhostess ...
:+)

But ... Wait ... Lets get to that a little later into the story ... For now lets get back to our main story.

I had a KT session scheduled for 4 pm that day. For those from non-IT industry backgrounds, KT sessions a.k.a "Knowledge Transition" sessions is like a classroom session. Except there will be probably 2 or 3 "students" at the max, the "teacher" is usually a guy you smoke with and probably talk about the latest porno flick doing the rounds these days (you get the idea), you can sleep in these sessions without the fear of ticking off the "teacher" and/or getting a supplementary paper!

So ... I tell my friend - "Hey bro ... I have a flight to catch today. So I wont be able to make it to the session at 4". And he goes like "Listen man - I'll reschedule to session to 3 so that I can bore you for that much atleast ... Ooopps sorry ... I can teach you for that much time atleast (I bet he meant the first - but to be politically right he said the second)"
Now that he had made an offer like this - I couldnt refuse. So, I agree.

3 o clock comes and I am half heartedly sitting there in a conference with two other Bakra's listening to my friend speak french and german about some application that I was supposed to start working on once I came back from my holiday.
But you know what ... The human mind is such a wonderful thing ... It can think about USA when you're physically in India. In my case - I was dreaming of hitting on a beautiful Air Deccan airhostess, when in reality I was sitting in 4X4 conference with Ravi (that's my friends name btw) going on and on about how this architecture helped solve all the obstacles the application would otherwise have faced.
But, Ravi - having been in my shoes way too many times for comfort - realizes that I just ain't there !!!
And ofcourse - he gets furious (that Ravi ... he does everything with 101 % passion and commitment. And the worst part is - he expects everyone else to follow suit - OR ELSE #$%@#@#$ !!!). Now the lil rascal starts asking me question after question to screw my happiness. Ofcourse there is no manager in the room (else I would have killed him after that session) but Ravi was out to mutilate me ... So he goes ahead and fires volley after volley of question at me about the architecture.
I have wriggled out of the wrath of professors in my college even after being caught umpteen number of times sleeping in their (boring) lectures. After all this was Ravi - my friend ... Poor fellow ... He didn't stand a chance.
In the next 10 mins, I crack a stupid joke or two (like I always do) and the mood lighens up. Ravi is back to his composed self.

I look at the watch and i realize its 4.15 pm. Time for me to Bail !!!
I tell Ravi - "Da ... I really need to leave now - else i'll miss my flight!". It was more like a statement and not a request. Ravi knew better than to argue - and I leave the meeting and head for home.

Once home, I rush for a quick shower, do some last min packing and rush to Airport.
I quickly get my check-in luggage security screened (happens at the entry of any airport) and then rush to the Air Deccan counter.
Now ... Here starts the "masti" which I will never forget !!!

I go to the counter and tell the person there, "Hi. I'd like to check in my luggage. Flight DN - 637 bound to Cochin." The person there smiles back and says "Sir, we are checking in passengers for the Hyderabad flight right now. We will start checking in people for the cochin flight in a while. Please be seated till then."
Ofcourse, the guy was pleasant and courteous, and so I complied. I found a place with a wonderful view (For a bachelor - and esp for me - the term view means HOT CHICKS!!!).
I wait there for a full 30 mins. The time is 5.50 pm by now... I get a little worried and go back to the counter (just in case they've forgotten to inform me about the flight check in starting), and ask the guy "Can I pleae check in now". He replies with the same dialogue he gave me the last time around. For one sec I was wondering - "Doesn't he say anything else but this!!!".
So ... yet again I head back to my seat and check out the Air hostess'es that pass my way - wondering what is an Air Deccan air hostess going to look like ???
Another 40 mins pass ... Its 6.30 pm now. By now I am furious and panicking. My thoughts were on the lines of "Its been more than an hour since I've been waiting and these idiots aren't even letting me check in my luggage ... how bloody rude !!! I'm going to give these people dressing down for sure !!!"
And off I go - the third time - to the counter and this time in a more serious and aggressive tone - "I want to check in luggage. I am travelling by Flight DN - 637 to cochin."
Thats when the guy (who I thought was going to tell me his rehearsed lines again) says, "Oh ... Sir ... that flight has been rescheduled to 10.30 pm".
It was like a blow in the chest. My wind left me and I was standing there blank faced. Its not like I had anything important to do after going to Cochin (except watch some WWF or FTV), but 10.30 was like an eternity away and I dint have anything else to do.
I recover from this shock and I ask the guy - "When were planning to tell me this Christmas??? And the least your airlines could have done was inform me about the change in flight plans!".
The guy goes like "Oh ... We're sorry ... We might have missed out your name sir ... It wont happen in the future!". Melodramatic as I am, I gather the courage and say - "Well ... don't worry - I don't think I will let you do that mistake again. BECAUSE this is last time I fly ur godforsaken airlines !!!" and I stormed away from the counter.

Yeah right ... At my paystack I couldnt afford anything more than that. I knew that ... And the worst part is - I think he did too !
I guess he called my bluff. Because a min later when I turned around and looked at him, he was smiling at me in a "Yeah ... Yeah ... That's the billionth customer I've heard say that type smirk!"

So. I had another 5 hours to kill. I open up my faithful laptop only to be reminded that it hardly had power for another hours worth toying. Whatever, I think "atleast for an hour I will have something to do - lets game on".
1 hour of FIFA 07 later the computer automatically shuts down (I wouldn't blame it - after all it needs batteries to work, and I am the dodo who forgot to recharge it).
Another 4 hours to kill ... For one min in those 4 hours, I felt like Viktor (Tom Hanks role in "The Terminal") - stranded at JFK.
I walk up and down, left and right, read a magazine, et all. Finally somehow its 10.30 pm. I walk to the person behind the counter (a lady had replaced the other guy by now), and say - can I please check in my luggage now?
She says "Sure sir ... The flight although is delayed by 30 mins due to late arrival from Coimbatore". I've heard of the term overkill ... But that day I realized in full the true meaning of the word.
I had nothing to say. I was too exhausted after 4 hours of pacing up and down Bangalore's HAL airport to create a ruckus there. So, I take that information lying down (like all the other passengers before and after me). I proceed for security checks and then finally into the waiting area.

Another 30 mins pass ... Still no boarding announcement. By now - I had reached the stage where I just din't care whether I got into the flight or not. I was even ready to go back home without even complaining in the event if the flight got canceled (BTW - Air Deccan does that often).
Another 15 mins later - god smiles upon me and - the boarding announcement for my flight happens. I rush throw the gate into a Bus (atleast it looked like one) that would take me to my flight. The driver kept driving for a solid 5 minutes before he reached the aircraft. Around 3 mins into the "drive", I was wondering - "From the looks of it - Maybe this guy is probably gonna drive me all the way to Cochin!"
I - along with a hoard of other passengers - get down from the bus and wait the Aircraft's door to open so that we can board the aircraft (finally!!!).
I don't know about the rest of the people there. But for me - my spirits were on an all time high. This was the moment of truth. I was about to see what my Air Deccan airhostess looked like. Was she fair? Was she a 36/24/36. Na ... Maybe a 34/28/36. That would still be worth every penny I spent for this flight.

Whilst all these thoughts were running in my head (and god knows through how many other heads there in the cold Bangalore night), the aircraft door begins to open. For a sec, I thought time slowed down - it was taking obscenely long for the door to open. But now, on doing a reality check - i realize it was probably how "fast" an aircraft door opened anyways. And hell - it was an Air Deccan flight. Its a wonder - it opened in the first place.
I bet your wondering why I am so angry - Well ... If u were in my shoes - you'd probably be this angry as well.
The door opened to reveal a girl who was a 34/30/34 at best. And to add to the agony - she had a HUGE NOSE. Reminded me of the villian Rastapopulus in the Tintin series (maybe he was a distant uncle of this gal).
Overkill in action again - I was washed overboard. Mutilated ... Shattered ... I can't come up with
enough terms to describe what my state was around then.
I cancel out on an important meeting, I wait more than 6 hours, bear the cold of the night, all for Rastapopulus Jr.
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr .... Capt Gopinath (thats the CEO of Air Deccan) - I'm going to kill you !!!

"What the hell is happening to the world?" I found me asking myself.

A couple of other questions that were running through my head around then were - "Why in the world did I trade a 200 rupee train ticket for a 1300 flight ticket ? If I wanted to ogle at an airhostess - why did i pick air deccan in the first place ? Why din't i charge my laptop that day ?"

As the wise say - "Whatever happens, happens for the best". Or so - i convinced myself and got on board the flight.

On an Air Deccan flight - unlike the other airlines I had flown before - there were no prior allotment of seats. So, what I saw was a ruckus people trying to catch the best possible seats. I couldn't stop myself from thinking - "Now where have I seen this sort of a behaviour before ... Maybe a KSRTC bus??? Or was it Chennai metro rail??? Maybe both!!! what the heck - get a seat for yourself before all the good seats are gone!!!"

I find myself a nice window seat right next to the propellor (Later I would find out that it was pretty much the worst possible seat on a turbo prop aircraft thanks to the loud engines a stones throw to my left) and settled down.

As per government regulations, the flight staff have to inform the passengers before take off about security regulations and the evacuation measures and emergency procedures. Althought I've been flying for a long time now - I still find that its a little bit scary when they say "you can hold on to your seats which are made of a floating material and can save you from drowning!"
That day - Once the flight took off, I looked outside the window, and I could only see mountains and valleys and buildings below me. I couldn't help think - "Now ... If we crash - should i really hold on to my seats ... Anyways there is no water below - so I probably wont sink ... So - no need eh !!!"
:+D

I laugh at myself at sit back to enjoy my flight ...

The flight was supposedly for a duration of 1.05 hrs. About 30 mins into the flight - I look outside the window and at the noisy propellor on my left, and I see paint peeling off from the chasis of the turbo prop.
Now - I am 20,000 feet above sea level and I see that the paint of the propellor peeling itself off. Even a steel hearted guy would loose his cool - Don't you think ?
And to top it all - I had just seen a movie called Final Destination the prev night. And in that movie - there is a scene where the flight blows up in mid air !!!

For a second my body tenses up - and then the next second I am thinking "My company provides me with a 5 lak insurance, I have another 5 lak policy in my name, plus air deccan pays 20 laks in case of death on board their flight. So adding that up means - in case this dumb plane does crash - my parents will get 30 laks .... Coooooooooool !!!"
Atleast my parents future will be secure ... So its ok ... (Later when I told my mom this story - she gave me a kick in the arse saying - "We dont want any money from your death you idiot ... And dont u dare say anything like that ever again!!!" .... Ofcourse a big hug from me a sec later and it was like I never said anything like that ever... But that's how mom's are ... And esp my mom - esp since she'z used to me saying stuff like this all the time ... She'z the best ... And hey - before i completely deviate and forget about the topic i was talking about - lets get back to it !!!)

So ... I look at my watch and realize that another 30 more mins are left before I land on the ground. Now I know why humans love land and not air and water ...
:)


I kept looking out at the propellor every now and then, trying to ascertain whether or not the paint was the only thing peeling off, or was there more to it than that. And if not - if the paint was peeling of fast or slow or at a medium pace.
For a brief second I turn to my right, and I see this cute gal (ok ... I accept a lady in her early 30's probably ... but a chick nevertheless) who i smiling at me. Ordinarily - If i had the guts - I would have smiled back, and hopefully picked up a conversation with her and blah blah blah ...
But the brink of falling 20,000 ft from the sky to your death is not exactly the best mood inducer you see. So I completely ignored her and got back to the propellor.

Another 30 mins pass and finally we land on the ground - unscathed. I heave a sigh of relief... A really deep one !!!

Suddenly I recall that there was this cute babe on my right who was smiling at me ... Instinct kicks in - and I look to my right and smile at her.
The female of the human species is a really weird one - you neglect her once ... and its impossible to hit on her again!!!
And that's precisely what happened... She gave me a "Take a hike Bitch!" look and walked out the doors.

What the heck ... Atleast I had gotten to Cochin in one piece .... my parents were probably 30 laks poorer (as per my insurance calculations) but as a consolation prize - they still had me ... And i bet my mom and dad would love that over 30 laks anyday (atleast I like to think so ... :+P )


I went collected my luggage and left the airport - vowing not to fly Air Deccan anymore. But, little did I know that - thanks to my pay stack - I would be flying the same airlines another month down the road!!!

That - is another story on its own ....



Wokey .... I guess this is one seriously looooooooooooooooooooong blog ... And if anyone has made it so far - man ... ur extremely jobless ... Do some work bro !!!
And hey - thanks for reading my blogs dude ... Hope you liked it - Do check back soon for some more insights into my action filled life !!!
:P