The Confessions Of A Confused Soul

The Secret To Super Duper Success

2010-10-07T08:56:00.001+05:30

I think I've finally figured it out. The 3 elements to success, money, power and hot women !Talent + Hardwork(ers) + Marketing

Pepper Chicken - The Recipe

2010-08-06T22:12:00.001+05:30

Ingredients
Chicken Breast - 1 pound
Finely Chopped Onion - 2
Crushed Garlic & Garlic - 1 Teaspoon each
Pepper (crushed tastes better, but powder will do) - 2 Tblspoon
Salt & Oil - As needed

Preparation
Heat some oil in a pressure cooker. Add the finely chopped onions, pepper, salt, crushed ginger and garlic into the cooker and stir till onion starts turning brown. Add the chicken breast (cut to small pieces) into the cooker.
* If you want a dry side dish - No need to add any water as chicken breast contains the requisite water.
* If you want a gravy like dish - Add 1 cup water to the mixture.

Close cooker lid, put the weight on and cook on a medium flame.
(4 whistles or 16 mins - whichever is sooner - is my preferred estimation metric)

Transfer contents from the cooker onto an open stove and continue cooking, on a low flame, the contents till desired dryness/consistency is achieved.

Add additional salt, pepper, oil, water to the dish as deem fit

Garnish with Coriander leaves.

Note: Tastes best with white bread, chappati or rice & yogurt.

DIFFERENT CULTURES

2010-02-01T02:56:00.002+05:30

For the American everything is about business, nothing can distract him. The Canadian being to his own world and lost in his own thoughts. The Italian and French.......... just staring at her ass !!!

Funny Meter

2010-02-01T02:53:00.003+05:30

Garfield And Suicide Hotline

2010-02-01T02:52:00.004+05:30

Good Advertising - Cobra Car Alarms

2010-02-01T02:51:00.001+05:30

Mardi Gras Mommies

2010-01-12T04:11:00.000+05:30

The Hitler's Of My NITC Life

2010-01-10T12:46:00.000+05:30

I was talking to one of my college junior's Annie today, and somehow the topic of our college's "Hitler" professors came up. I'm going to take this opportunity to list out a few, who according to me screwed my happiness big time back during those days, in their order of appearance in my life!

Sara Lisa David
My chemistry professor in my first year. And boy was she a bitch! The only two things she was very fond off was - flunking me in all my chemistry sessionals, and two - getting knocked up. In my 4 yrs there at college - I remember she got knocked up twice! The remaining two years - well, she was in the process of getting knocked up!

What I find ironic now is, she was the LH warden, and as a result - was responsible for moral policing in campus and was a pain-in-the-ass for all those "couples" who wanted to get "naughty". Oxymoron anyone???

Vijayan Nair
Our mechanics professor in my first year. The poor guy is no longer with us. But, he had it coming to him - being the chain smoker and big time drinker he was - I'm sure he saw it too! This fellow, although he flunked me in a few of my sessional papers - unlike Sara Lisa - he never did it cause he was having mood swings. He flunked me cause I sucked at mechanics! :D
And how can I ever forget those lovely "Simple Mechanics" sessions where he demonstrated simple mechanisms in class [ I still remember the whole thing in vivid detail - him standing on the dias and looking at the only girl student in our class and goes like "Ritu! (Zip .... Unzip ... Zip ... Unzip ... Zip ... Unzip) Now this is what is called simple mechanisms! He He He He He! ] and all those rumours of similar stories/quotes from our senior batches!
[ My two favorites being "Makkallae ... Eee poorr innu parayunna saadhannamm kaanann atthraekku bhanggi onnumm illa!" and the one being "I once caught my daughter watching a porn movie with a banana in her hand ... I wonder what she was doing! (wink) ]

On the whole, I never disliked the guy. but I was not excesively fond of him either. But, yes, I do confess - I was shit scared of him!

Gulaam Jilani
A total cartoon character. Famous for being the one professor who had a 90% for his BTech. And he always kept telling us about that too!
But, it's only when we got to my 3rd year that I heard the actual story. That his 4 year BTech course took him in 9 years to complete - cause he would walk out of the exam hall each time he saw that the question paper was tough and that he couldn't score more than 90% in it!
Duh! If I had that luxury - I'd score 100% dumbass !!!

I had to bear with him for 2 semesters, S1 and S6. In S1 - he took computer programming. Needless to say, he didn't know crap of what he was teaching. Couple that with his totally cartoony way of taking class - and all I used to go to class for was a laughs. It was, to say the least, like one of the Jeff Dunham shows! But, thankfully, since I was very interested in Computer Programming at that time, I managed to learn it by myself (with some help ofcourse from the Pro's in Comp Sci) and was able to score reasonably well in it!

In S6 - he too some course related heat flows (I cant remember the exact name of the course though) I thought I did extremely well in the end exams (btw - I got good scores in my sessionals for that paper), but when the results came, I was pretty much a border pass. When I asked him about the same, he said - you're answers must've been wrong - and that's why.
I confess, all my liking for this relatively harmless fellow, ended there!

Jose Kaakasery
In my 8 semesters at college - this is the one jerk of a professor I have to use the word HATE to describe my emotions for him. He was one sick Son Of A Bitch to say the least. I mean like seriously ... Lighting strikes down coconut trees all the time - Why doesn't it strike this fellow ... Atleast it should burn his goddamn beard down!
(Btw - I've always had a big desire to burn his god-awfully-white beard ... One of these days when I go back to college, I might even do that! Kaakasery ... Patti ... nee sookshicho da ... nindae thaadi'ku njann thee vekkumm edda !!!)

Anyways ... Why do I hate him? Well - plenty actually. First of all - he was a pain in the ass professor, who had this rule of taking attendance as soon as he came to class, and for anyone who came to class after that - one: there wouldnt be any attendance, and two: he'd screw their happiness royally not just for the rest of the class, but for the rest of the semester. Unfortunately, for me i.e., I missed 5 of his classes in a sem (I have a problem getting up early, and most of this creeps classes were the first session of the day!) and when I spoke to him abt it - cause I didnt want to run into attendance shortage issues - he said, I dont care if you get dropped out of college for attendance shortage issues - but if you were absent - you were absent and you deserve it!
You need to understand - that bunking classes was second nature to me, and obviously, attendance shortage, being its close cousin - would follow. But, thanks to my happy-go-lucky nature and that the fact that most of the professors in my department were cool, everyone would give me the requisite 80% attendance so that I could write my end sem exams. Except ofcourse for this sick son of a bitch!
Anyways ... The story doesn't end there. When he asked me why I used to be late, I told him "Sir, I sleep very late and because of that, I find it very difficult to get up early. And even when I do, I find it difficult to keep myself awake, and I don't think it wouldn't be right for me to be all sleepy and drowsy in your class. And since you're session is the 1st hour on most days, I struggle to make it there!"
(And mind you, even though I found it difficult to wake up early in the morning to attend the first lecture - whenever I knew it was this creeps class at 8.00 am the next day, I would do everything possible to make it there on time. But, yeah - I still did end up missing a few of them ... Mind you - only a HANDFUL that too. And for that - he was screwing my happiness)
And guess what this jerk interpreted my confession as (I know this cause he told me this a couple of months down the road, which I'll talk about in a sec) - "You're class is too darn boring old man! I'd rather sleep at home than come to ur class and sleep, and that's why I prefer to bunk your class!"
I mean - how stupid can you be. If you don't understand english - go take a frigging course!

Anyways ... Why am I so darn aggravated. Let me explain ... Because of his interpretation above, he was obviously pissed. Thanks to that - whenever I was in class - he would screw my happiness. But, I was okay with that - cause he screwed a lot of other people's happiness too (I wonder what all those people must have harmlessly confessed about which this fool misinterpreted!)
But the kicker was - when the end sem results came, he had flunked me in his paper by just 1 mark. I personally went to meet him to plead him to give me that 1 mark so that I can clear that exam. It is at that time, he told "Remember you told me this 3 months back ... Well ... Orru teacher innoddu angannae paranjaall - paper dhae ingannae irrikkum!" (I will never ever forget those words in my life ... EVER!)
And I spent the next 30 mins trying to tell him, "Sir! I never meant anything like that ... You read it all wrong ... This is what I meant in reality ... etc ... etc ... etc!"
All that said, he didnt budge from his decision and said "Itthu thanniku orru paadamm aayirikattae!" (Another set of words that I will never ever forget!)
Sick motherfucking egoistic bastard!

Anyways ... How did I resolve this dilemma. When the time came to write my supple papers (arrears/back - whatever lingo you wanna call it) - I personally went to his house a couple of days before the exam and apologized to him for my behavior so far, and confessed that I've been a jerk and that he was right in what he said, and that he was a father figure to me and I hoped more people were like him and had helped me in my life in realizing that I was following a wrong path, and if they did I wouldnt be where I was now, I would've changed for the better sooner and I completely agreed that the college was filled with goons and jerks and morally degraded guys who only wanted to get into ladies pants and didnt respect their professors and didnt stand up and salute them each time they saw one and that they should be shot for that, and that they were surely going to hell for all this bad western influence ...
Yeah ... I know what you're thinking ... I did a whole lot of shitty drama !!!
But, hey, it worked out well. That exam - when the results came out (he was the one who evaluated it!) I got 86/100.
After that incident, thankfully, I never had to attend his classes - as we didnt have any more papers taken by that prick!
And to this day - I hate him for that unfair thing he did to me ...

Ramaraju
He was this relatively harmless professor, who sometimes got all irritating and vengeful. But, another one of those "if-you-know-how-to-handle-him-your-safe" kindda professors. My technique for success with this fellow - act stupid, listen to his boring gyaan sessions on life and culture and religion and nod to everything he says, keep listening to his jibes about how stupid I was and smile along with him whenever he does that - and I was all safe and sound!
(In other words - he would pass me in his exams, and honestly, that's all I ever cared about when I was in college ... Passing in my exams with a 60% + score so that I got a good job in some company somewhere ... As simple as that!)

I still remember this funny incident where he was conducting viva, and the first question he would ask you was "which city are you from?" and this would be followed up with "what does your dad do?" only after which he would ask you the viva questions.
In my case "Cochin" was the answer to the first one, and since Cochin was a relatively posh city (definitely the poshest and most expensive city in Kerala) he would assume you are from a well to do family, and therefore that you are a spoilt brat that needs to be punished. This is why the second question "what does your dad do?" which is to kindda ascertain for sure that you deserve the butchering you are going to get in a second.
Ofcourse, I didn't realize that. when he asked me what my dad did - I said "business man" and ofcourse that kindda did it for me. He raped me royally for the next 15 mins - during which my only answers were "Sir ... something easier than this sir ... please ... " to which he would snicker and laugh and throw insults/jibes at me ... But - again - my mantra (act stupid ... keep smiling ... play along!) helped me secure passing grades in the viva too. So, I don't hate him.

Another one of my batchmates, Sam CP, kindda figured why Ramaraju was asking the "where are you from" and "what does your dad do" question and decided to try another trick. He went in and answered "Cochin" to the first one. Ofcourse, Ramaraju was like "Another Cochi'ite ... I'm going to butcher this one too!" ... But, to the next question - "what does your father do?" - Sam tactfully said, "Sir, Watchman sir!" ... Ramaraju was taken off guard here. I mean - no one expects a watchman's kid to be able to afford my college fees, leave alone make it to an NITC, and that too live in Cochin! And as luck would have it - he asks Sam "Oh ... Who else is there in your family?" Sam decides to push the envelope and says "Sir ... 3 sisters and me! I'm the youngest ... And my father is dying trying to get them married off ... I am the pillar of support for the family ... and once I get a job - hopefully I will be able to get them married off!" and that's it ... Ramaraju couldn't take it anymore. He said "You take care Sam ... Study hard ... Everything will turn out well son!" and with a pat on his shoulder - he asked him to send the next guy standing outside in ... Sam was like "Sir, Viva?" ... And Ramaraju was like "You don't worry about it Sam ... You have better things to think about! I'll make sure you get good grades in my paper!"
With this - Sam's viva was over ... And if I remember right - he had pretty much the highest score in the Viva that was conducted.
Sam CP you sly bastard ... Hats off to you!
:)

(Now, when I think back, I wish I had told him my dad was a farmer or something ... I could've used those extra marks you know!)
:D

TS John
One nutcase professor, who became an overnight hit amongst students not because of his knowledge or prowess, but apparently for his lack of them. And did I mention that he has some very famous memorabilia worthy punchline dialogues too. I'm taking the liberty of listing out a few really cool ones:

.1. (Very angry at the class for being all talkative and noisy during one of his lecture) "What the hell ... I am TS John!"
.2. (In a lecture about 3-D spacial design) "Imagine a plane" ... (pauses for a sec) The whole class is now imagining XYZ plane ... "An aeroplane!" (he he he he)
[Whole class breaks out in laughter ... TS John thinking - ha ha ha ha ... I'm so funny ... Rest of the class thinking - ha ha ha ha ... This fellow just confirmed that he is indeed super darn stupid! What a numbskull looser!]

Kaala Prabhakaran Nair
Our Mechanics department HOD. I never had to take any of his classes, but the couple of times I met him - he came across as a sinister, cold, mean, and sarcastic jerk. But, hey, for all you know he was one too [ Atleast thats what 50% of my batchmates who took elective papers which were taken by him say. The remaining 50% said worse stuff - that is unfit for this blog! :D ]

But, like I said, my interactions with him were very limited, and so, I dont have any bones to pick with him.

Hostel Office Manager
I cant even remember his name. But he was this short, ugly, balding guy with bad teeth who had a seriously huge ego, touchy pride.
Easily one of the most corrupt guys on campus (how else can you explain all the teakwood trees going missing from campus and also the mangoes and coconuts mysteriously disappearing every month)
But, yeah, if you knew how to handle him, it was easy to be in his good books - and trust me when I say that it helped a lot if you weren't in the his path.
As the old saying goes - "It is better to be the right hand of the devil than to be in his path!"

Besides these people - I can't think off anyone else I had issues with during my college life.

Another one of these days, I'll write about all those sweetheart like professors who made my college life something to remember and smile about. All I can say right now about them is - "You guys rock! Thanks for everything!"

Tintumon Jokes Rocks

2010-01-10T12:43:00.002+05:30

My brother sent me some really fun "Tintumon" jokes today.

Achan: Exam inu nee thottal ini enney achaa ennu vilikkendaaa….
Kurach divasam kazhinju…..
Achan: Enthayeda result???
Tintu mon:-Aliyaaa sorry daaa…..5 subject il potty machu!!

Teacher: Vaakyathil prayokikuka,”Kaattaana”
Tintumon:Njan kaatiloode nadakumbol oru puli odi vannu,njan enthu “kaattaana”??

Gulfil ninnu Maman:Ninaku entha vendath?
Tintumon:Mobile mathi mamaa
Snehathode maman:NOKIA mathiyo da kutta.?
Tintumon:
Nokiyal porada pattee, Vaanganam !

Tintumon ambalattil vazhipad counter Q vil..
Munnile uncle : shambhu, thiruvatira, paalppaayasam.
Tintumon: Hans, break dance, chickenbiriyani…!

If you want to read some more of the like - check it out here

An Awesome BMW Used Ad

2010-01-10T12:42:00.001+05:30

This Is What I Call "Unbelievable Creativity" ... Whoever Is The Creator Of This - I Salute You Sir !!!

In The Year Two Thousand Nine

2010-01-03T01:59:00.001+05:30

I'm borrowing this template from a blogger I follow.
(People planning to follow the link above, treat this as an "Adult Content" advisory!)

1. What did you do that you’d never done before?
Flew to the USA. Yahooooooooooo !

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I can't remember making any New Year Resolution. This year's resolution is pretty simple - Loose Weight, Save Some Money and Master The Game!
;)

3. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
Happiness, Friends, Companionship, and hopefully, mastery over "The Game"

4. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory?
    March 1 - Dropped my papers at TCS
    Jun 29 - Got On The Flight To New York
    Nov 21 - Nov 29 - Let's just call it my "Holiday In Goa!" week

5. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I hurt my ankle pretty bad, thanks to a game of Volleyball that I went to play. Was limping for 10 days, and it took me about 1.5 months for the pain to ebb away completely and for me to be able to run again.

6. What was the best thing you bought?
My GPS. Don't leave home without it.

7. Where did most of your money go?
Living expenses, paying off my education loan, a little bit of investing here and there, my first car and saving up for an MBA.

8. What did you get really, really excited about?
Flying to the USA on a project assignment ... Finally!!! I've been wanting to do that ever since I joined the IT industry (which started in Jun 2005). It finally came true in Jun 2009.

9. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder?
I don't think I am sad per se, but, I know for a fact that last year around this time - I was happier. Especially because I was surrounded by friends and family, whereas this year, I spent my new years sitting at home and watching "Santosh Subramaniam"

b) thinner or fatter?
Definitelly thinner. Last year this time of the year, I was working out 6 days a week - 2 hours a day. I was buff dadmmit! And this year - I weight 262.5 pounds and am lazy as a sloth and am eating loads of high calorie frozen food cause I'm too damn lazy to cook myself a meal!

c) richer or poorer?
Last year this time - I was around 400,000 INR away from being completely debt free, and this year I'm about 100,000 INR away.
So, yeah, I guess I'm richer this year!
(You gotta loooooooooooooove that USD -> INR conversion rate!)

10. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Hit the gym, socialize, work on my freelancing business.

11. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Procrastinate, Eat junk food.

12. How will you be spending new years?
2009 - I spent it at home.
2010 - (Target) Chilling at some exotic location with some exotic babe!
       (Reality) Since I'll be going to India on vacation at that time, I think I'll be spending it with family.

13. Did you fall in love in 2009?
I think I did. But - as always - It didn't last too long though!
The chain of events in smiley flowchart diagram:
    ;)   => :D   =>   => B-)   =>   >:)   =>   :P   =>   :(

14. How many one-night stands?
None. Dratz!

15. What was your favorite TV program?
Right now I'm hooked onto "The 70's Show". Finished watching Season 1 & 2. About to start watching Season 3 & 4.

16. What was the best book you read?
Didn't read too many books this year.
(Mental note to self - Need to do more of that this year!)

17. What did you want and get?
I always wanted to get myself a gun, and I got an air-pistol. Next step - once I get my NYC drivers licence - I wanna get myself a shotgun/hunting rifle. Next hunting season, I'm gonna kill me some deer!

18. What did you want and not get?
I wanted to buy myself a Hayabusa. With any luck, I'll buy one of em in 2010.
(Touchwood!)

19. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I was busy shopping and packing for my trip to the US. I just turned 25.

20. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
Since I was working as a trainer from Jan - March, I was introduced to the world of wearing a tie to work.
From April - Jul, my then employer, UST Global, required us to wear ties to work.
From Jul - Dec, since I was at the client location, I had to wear very nice clothes (no ties thankfully!)
So, in short, my fashion sense in 2009, was crisp, formal and all business.

21. What kept you sane?
The thought that tomorrow is going to be a better day than yesterday and today.

22. What political issue stirred you the most?
Obama's anti-H1B stance. It pissed the crap out of me!

23. Who was the best new person you met?
Brian Sparks - My roomie. Thanks to him, I've learnt how my car works, and also some quick-fixes that could save me some money in the future.
Audrey - A total sweetheart of a lady, who's been nothing but nice to me since I met her. God bless your soul babe!

24. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009.
"The person who has the upper hand in any relationship is the one that is least invested in it!"
I heard it in the movie "Ghosts of Girlfriends Past"
And trust me when I say - it's 101% true!

What is a Strip club

2010-01-02T23:42:00.002+05:30

It is a fund-raiser, where you help young women raise money for community college!

- Barney Stinson

Year 2009 - Month On Month

2010-01-01T11:00:00.004+05:30

With just hours to go for the new year, it's time to look at the year 2009 in retrospection. For now - I'm gonna list out the highlight of each of the 12 months, one-by-one.

Jan - Started working as a Full-Time Trainer at TCS's ILP training facility at Trivandrum. I had a lot of fun there, and it is also when I realized that I can probably make a career out of being a technology trainer.

Feb - Put down my papers at TCS. Damn it - It was the happiest day of my life. I was even more happier than I was when I resigned from Wipro. I kid you not!

Mar - Joined UST Global. Little did I know what was waiting for me there. Just kidding, so far, everything has been good.

Apr - My first "official" stint as a "Team Leader". Faced a lot of challenges, but, it was fun tackling them as and when they popped up!

May - Read the "Art Of War" by "Sun Tzu" and dived into the world of Office Politics headfirst. Let's just say I had my reasons and the results were awesome.

Jun - Turned another year old (Quarter life crisis is hitting me pretty bad!), but, on the up side, I got on the plane to the good old USA 2 days later! You know what I bought with my first dollar? A bottle of Jack Daniels whisky! FYI - I still have it with me in my Fridge. ;-)

Jul - Living under the same room with an American room-mate. Lets just say it was very different from the roomie experiences I've had thus far!

Aug - Went on a trip to the "6 Flag" at Agawam, MA. I had loooooooooooads of fun. I wanna go back once again in summer and get on a couple of those rides I was too chicken to try last time. And this time, I'll make sure I go on an empty stomach so that I don't throw up!
(No I didn't throw up last time. But, some of the rides I "skipped" looked like it'd make me throw up for sure!)

Sep - Became really close and pally-pally with the sweetest and the most perfect couple I've ever seen in my life - Sapna and Mrigen. We 3 had a lovely time. Each evening was fun filled. Thank to Mrigen, I learnt a lot of fun and quick-fix receipes. Also, I was treated to a lot of "WoW!" inspiring dinners.

Oct - My tryst with white-water rafting - thanks to Manu dragging me along. Also, my tryst with tying up mufflers using metal clothes hangers! Also, my tryst with hitting a Strip Club and trying to pickup naked strippers
(FYI - I didn't have any luck with that though! Just lost all the money I took with me - aka $ 250)
[And all you people under 18 and all you prudes and back-stabbers - forget you ever read that last bit!]

Nov - Was gifted an XBox 360 by a total sweetheart friend of mine, and I haven't stopped playing on it since. Thanks babe ... You're the best! Muaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Dec - Some, ummmmmmmmm, lets just say "very unpleasant" things happened which led to some very special relationships blowing up in my face! But, I'd like to believe that anything and everything that happened, probably happened for the best. That's what I've always believed in, and I don't see why this should be any different!

What will my month-on-month board be like next year ... Hmmmmm ... Only time will tell.
I just hope it's nicer and more action packed and happiness filled than this year !!!
;-)

The Xmas Party

2009-12-22T07:43:00.002+05:30

I accompanied one of my friend here for her office Xmas party on Saturday (19-Dec-09), and boy did I have a good time. Right from free food and drinks to making new friends to flirting with a lot of women that were there (all married and with kids though!) and even winning money off a gambling game they were playing!
(Ordinarily, I never gamble. But tonight - my friend paid for my entry into the game - "So I figured why not? Let's play!")

On the whole, I needed that party. It's been like at least 2 months since I went out for anything like that, and I realized I've missed that life.
So, one of my New year resolutions for 2010 is to go out and party more often!

And no, when I say party - I don't mean go out and get sloshed/drunk/wasted. I mean go out, meet new people, have a fun conversation, flirt a little (Ok! make that a lot!) drink responsibly, and at the end of the day - come back home smiling wider and feeling happier than when you left!

Travel Travel Travel

2009-12-22T07:42:00.000+05:30

It's been about 6 months since I migrated to the USA, and here is a list of the places I've been to:

.1. Altamont, NY (approx 25 miles away)
.2. Saratoga, NY (approx 30 miles away)
.3. Edison, NJ (approx 175 miles away)
.4. Syracuse, NY (approx 180 miles away)
.5. Indian Lake, NY (approx 100 miles away)
.6. New York City, NY (approx 200 miles away)
.7. New Brunswick, NJ (approx 190 miles away)

Trip 1 - I tagged along with my then room-mate.
Trip 2 - I tagged along with the sweetest couple I've ever met in my life Sapna and Mrigen.
(God bless you two critters!)
Trip 3 - I tagged along with my ex-boss at work for an office party. I met my organizations Senior VP and Chairman. I only have one word to describe those two gentlemen - "WOW!"
Trip 4 - I went over to meet my college buddy who's pursuing his MS. It was an nice trip. It was my first actual looooooooooong distance road-trip. A few realizations I had post that trip :: US has lovely roads, A 99 model Toyota Corolla gets extremely unstable at 105 mph, The US country is extremely beautiful and clean.
Trip 5 - I went along with my college junior for Rafting. It's a trip I wont forget in a hurry as my muffler bracket rusted and broke off on me stark in the middle of nowhere, and me and my buddy had to run around from person-to-person and store-to-store begging for metal wire and metal clothes hangers to tie the goddamn thing up so that we could get our arses out of there!
(Thanks a zillion to the old couple who lent us the metal wire we needed, and also a big thanks to Brian - my current roomie - for helping us out by telling us exactly what we need to do!)
Trip 6 - This was one of the most amazing trips I've ever taken in my life. It was totally unplanned (yes - I know someone out there is pointing their fingers at me and saying "yeah bitch! you have the lousiest planning skills ever!") but even then, it turned out great! Met some funtastic guys, ate some really tasty indian food, got a taste of how frigging busy and crazy NYC is (I'm never going to work there ... not for a million dollars ... wait - for a million dollars - I just might consider. But for anything less than that - my answer is a big emphatic no!) I really look forward to doing one more trip down to NYC one of these days!
Trip 7 - I went down to help a very good friend of mine hunt for their house, and basically settle down. Why - well - lets just say my friend is super lousy on the skills needed to do something like that, and without me they'd be lost! And oh yeah - I also met up with one of my buddies from school who I haven't seen in 10 years. And yes - two words for how she looks now - "Smoking Hot!"

So, yes, if you wanna look at it that way, you might say that I've been travelling quite a bit off late. But, in my defense, let's just call it the 'Tourist Effect' that every Indian dude who lands in the USA experiences - especially in his first couple of months of his stay in the states.

But, yes, this probably isn't the end of my traveling frenzy. There are a couple of other places that, off the top of my head, that I want to check out as well. I'll list the top 5 here:

.1. Las Vegas, NV
.2. Atlantic City, NJ
.3. Niagra Falls, Canada
.4. Dallas, TX
.5. Chicago, IL
.6. Saint Louis, MO

My Justification:
Spots 1, 2 and 3 - Popular Tourist Attractions
Spots 4, 5 and 6 - I have friends there that I wanna go visit

Well ... We'll see how things go on my traveling front. In case I go anywhere here, or anywhere else for that matter, I'll make sure you folks find out for sure!

Men Are From Mars And Women Are From Venus

2009-12-22T07:39:00.000+05:30

This is a forward I received a couple of weeks back. I found it very demonstrative of how men are different from women. So, here it is. Enjoy Maddi !!!

Dear Pete,

I hope you can help me. The other day, I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching TV.
My car started stalling and then it broke down about a mile down the road and I had to walk back to get my husband's help. When I got home, I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in our bedroom with the neighbour's daughter!

I am 32, my husband is 34, and the neighbour's daughter is 19. We have been married for ten years. When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted that they had been having an affair for the past six months.
He won't go to counselling and I'm afraid I am a wreck and need advice urgently. Can you please help?

Sincerely,

Sheila

Dear Sheila:

A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine.
Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the injectors.

I hope this helps,

Pete.

The American Taxation System - There's No Fighting It

2009-12-22T07:38:00.003+05:30

Back in India, even if you are in a 12 lak per annum pay package - you can still manage to pay something under 40,000 INR as tax.
Here in the USA - there is no way your getting off that easy. The taxation system is so damn unfair.
The last 2 pay cycles - I've been taxed at 35% flat. I mean - I look at my payslip and the only thing I want to do is cry !

Right at the top you see some number under the head Nett Income
(trust me when I say - its not even "market" standards. But, in this economy - I'm lucky to have a job even!)
Immediately below that under the head federal taxes - they take out a sizeable chunk.
Immediately below that - the head State tax takes out a smaller but still a sizeable chunk.
Immediately below that - Social Security takes out an equally large bite.
Immediately below that - Medical Care takes another sizeable chunk.
Immediately below that - City Tax takes a small but noticeable bite of the meal.

End of the day - I end up with nearly half of my salary taken away under the name of some tax or the other.
I think I'm going to go drink my depression away ... What else can I do !!!

Booooooooooo hooooooooooo ... I want my Mommmmmmmmmmmmmmyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy !!!

Medical Expenses In The USA Is More Expensive Than A Divorce

2009-12-22T07:38:00.000+05:30

I thought medical insurance in the USA was crazily overpriced. Well guess what - medicines are even more overpriced!

The last couple of days, I've been having these flu like symptoms and thanks to that - I had to hit this popular pharmacy store - CVS Pharmacy. This is what I found:
A bottle of Vicks Vaporub which would cost 55 INR (Approx 1.15 USD) costs 7.49 USD here.
A bottle of Cough Syrup which costs 60 INR (Approx 1.2 USD) costs 5.65 USD here.
An nebulization pill costs 10 INR (approx 10 cents) costs 3.75 USD here.

At the end of the day - I am around 18 USD poorer and I am no where near to feeling better.
From the looks of it - I am going to be paying many more such 18 USD visits to the CVS store in the upcoming weeks.

Difference Between The USA and India

2009-12-22T07:37:00.000+05:30

It's been about 6 month since I left India. And the funny part is - I only realized it when my mom mentioned it when I called her up for something the other day.
Time does fly doesn't it - Especially when you're trying to adjust to a completely new city and culture 8000 miles far away from the place you called home for the last 25 years.

But, justice be done - I wouldn't say things are a lot different out here. Neither would I say - I've had to change my habits a lot to adapt to the new place!

But, yes - there are many a differences in the culture, the people, their habbits, etc. For example:

.1. People here are very self indulgent and fiercly independent. Initially, it might come off as them being selfish and spoilt, but in reality it isn't so. It's just the way everyone is in this part of the globe.
.2. Toilet paper !!! This is one thing that is a major culture shock to me. The initial couple of weeks - I ended up rubbing my arse so damn hard that every single time I ended up bleeding down there. Heck - It was so bad - I began to feel like a woman having periods. Now - thanks to many hours of Googling for the "right technique" and some "expert inputs" from my friend Ashish Soni - things are much better.
.3. Dressing !!! Let's just say - the babes here dress to kill. At least that's what any Indian guy would say! As for the guys - they're just poorly dressed and have really bad grooming and hygiene standards ... Period!!!
.4. People are a lot more friendly and honest and open to helping each other as compared to those back in India. To the extent that people you just met are ready to show you around town, take you along with their friends and families to parties, etc - and that too without expecting anything in return!
.5. Having a car is a mandatory thing in this part of the globe. Without a car - you have no life. Without a car - you're handicapped. Without a car - you're never getting a date. But, the good part is, car's are pretty cheap. Especially in this economy where people are loosing jobs and motor companies are going bankrupt by the hour. If buying a new car is going to be a strain on your wallet - the used car market is also equally attractive. With cars ranging from Ford Escorts all the way to Lexus, Mercedes and Porsche's available at mouth watering deals.
.6. Marriages don't last that long. But - whenever they end - the guy, inevitably, goes broke! And the girl - well - she just takes everything the guy owned!
.7. You don't need to be married to have kids. But, if you have kids - then you better get ready to pay child support. And trust me when I saw - it's not very cheap!
.8. Casual flings and no-strings-attached affairs are as common here as women gossiping in India. No one notices and even if they do they don't give a damn either!

I must also confess that there are "some" changes that "had" to be made to accommodate the new locale. For example:

.1. I used to sleep all the way till 10 am in the morning back in India. Here - we work from 8 am to 5 pm. And thanks to that - I am left with no other option but to wake up at 6 so that I can get to work on time.
.2. For the last 1 year odd - I never had to cook breakfast (and for that matter - neither did I cook lunch or dinner that much) was always at some hotel/restaurant en route to work. Now - I ended up making breakfast, lunch and dinner - simply because of the fact that it is too frigging expensive and exotic to order out everyday.
The only affordable (read as cheap) cuisine here is Chinese - and that can get boring after a couple of weeks!
.3. I have to rely on people for transportation. And this, trust me when I say this, is really really really distressing. Especially because, for the last 4.5 years that I've been working - I always had a transportation of my own - the love of my life - my bike. (Or should I call it my eX-Bike?)
.4. The last 5 years of my career, I've either been working in the offshore divisions of service companies or working in a product company. This afforded me the luxury of having a much more "relaxed" work environment. When I say relaxed - I don't mean I had any less work. But, I had a lot more flexibility when it came to what I could do at work - like - say taking extended coffee breaks, flexible work hours, chit chatting with friends during office hours, playing pranks on colleagues, etc. Having to work at onsite - is a completely different ball game in itself. Since you are sitting in front of the client - all these things are pretty much ruled out!

Anyways ... On the whole, it's a pretty okay move. At least - so far so good !!!
Only time will tell whether my opinion is going to change for the better or for the worse ...

Till then - I'm going to go with the flow and keep my fingers crossed while I am at it!
:)

I'm Back After An Extremely Long Hiatus

2009-12-22T07:35:00.002+05:30

I know I've been gone for a while now. Although this might seem as a set of excuses, I had a couple of reason for my self imposed hiatus.

.1. A blog article I wrote many months ago had sparked a feud between me and some of my buddies. And although, I thought this was a minor issue, unfortunately, it doesnt seem to be the case. The people on the other end seem to have taken it very personally, to the extent that they don't talk to me and have sort of distanced themselves from me.
.2. I've been extremely busy trying to acclimatize myself to the new country and my new environment and new job profile.
.3. I've had some stuff (good, bad and ugly) happening on my personal life front which has been keeping me busy during my evenings, and thanks to that - blogging had to take a back seat.

Well ... All that said, I'm back in action now. And this time, I hope I'll be around for good!

So, all you friends and foes out there - Watch out ... Cause Daddy's Back In The Game !!!

Divorce Blues

2009-06-15T23:43:00.002+05:30

Recently, I learnt how stinging a divorce can be. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not the one getting divorced. One of my good friends is. Poor girl ... From whatever she's told me - she was in a very bad, loveless and traumatic marriage. Her husband abused her, emotionally blackmailed her, beat her up. Her In-Laws were even more sinister - doing whatever the hubby did and more. She even recounts one occasion where her mother-in-law tried to kill her using the "exploding stove" technique that is so common in India. Somehow, I think she was exaggerating on that bit. Heck, she might have exaggerated on many other counts as well.
But, the moral of the story is - she was traumatized to the core. So, much that she started living separately from her hubby and in-laws. She's being doing that for the last 4.5 years odd now.

Ofcourse, there were attempts by her hubby to try and re-concile things. But, somehow, things never worked out. If you ask me - I'd put the blame on her for that. Because, whenever I asked her about the "time when they were together again" she had very hateful things to say. Stuff like - I used to take out all my frustration on him for all the bad times he had given me. We didn't have sex at all. I only agreed to give it a shot for our son (Oh ... forgot to mention that she has a son from that fellow!). I took my revenge on him and mistreated him just as badly as he did me a couple of years ago.

What I am trying to get at here is - I get it that she's pissed at him and all. But, if he's waving the white flag and asking for forgiveness and wants to make amends for whatever he's done to her - the last thing she should be doing is taking revenge and pissing him off even more. I mean - I try to put myself in the shoes of the guy - and I'm feeling all depressed and angry and hate filled already.

Anyways ... The guy didn't or should I say couldn't take any more of her shit - and things went back to tangents Once Again!
This was followed by, the only logical thing to do given this background, him trying to file for divorce.

Now, obviously, its a divorce for crying out loud. It's going to be messy. After all - if he says "Yeah ... I am the wrong party ... It's not her fault at all!" then he's looking at saying bye-bye to half his assets and paying a healthy amount of money as alimony for the rest of his miserable life (Did I mention that this couple didn't have any sort of a pre-nuptial agreement either!)

Now, the process in India for divorce is pretty long drawn and hilarious/torturous - depending on which side of the table you're looking at it from.

Torturous - for the couple who's undergoing it - because it's going to take that much longer to "legally" not have to see each other and not have anything to do with each other ever again.

Hilarious - for the friend(s) who's supporting their friend who's going through with the divorce proceedings - because you'd find it amusing, as well as interesting, the things your friend has to say about her soon-to-be-ex. Trust me on this!

Anyways ... My friend had a lot of things to say about "what he said" about her in court. I've listed a few of them below:

She has had multiple abortions - none of which was his
She drinks and smokes a lot
She's slept with many other men when she was married

Well ... It's not like she didn't say anything nasty about him in court. I've listed a few of them below:

His family is a set of thugs and goons who wouldn't hesitate to kill her.
They swindled off all the dowry her parents had given her and were harrassing her for more money.
They had mandated a large amount of dowry (Dowry is illegal in India. You could be put in jail for 10 years if prosecuted for it!)

With all these things that happened. I figured she'd hate the guy enough to "move on" to another relationship.
(If something like that ever popped up i.e)

But, I was mistaken. The girl is so damn scarred emotionally that every time me, or any of her other friends, or her parents and close relatives for that matter, suggest the idea - she snaps at us. And trust me when I say - she doesn't say very pretty stuff when she snaps!

Well ... There is nothing much I can do out here but help her ride the wave. Be supportive, understanding, and as far as possible "be there" for her when she needs help.

Hopefully - she'll get over this trough in her life. Hopefully, she'll fall in love with someone once again ... Real Soon!

Good Luck Sweetie!!!
God Bless Ya ...

The "Just About To Break Up" Phase

2009-06-14T22:50:00.003+05:30

Her are some fun facts/things I've heard my friends say when they were on the verge of a break-up:
(These are the guys perspectives/sides of the story only. Any of you girls who feel like sharing your side of the story - don't hesitate to indulge yourself in the comments section)

What is hell is there to talk everyday? I can't bear it when she calls me up everyday at 11.30 pm and after 5 mins of BS that involves me telling her and she telling me "About Our Day" - she says " So ... What else ? "
Heck ... If she doesn't have anything else to say - keep the phone down already. I wanna catch up on some sleep!!!

This is in stark contrast to those 5 hour long phone calls - that end only because your battery or talk time (pre-paid anyone!) ran out - during the initial courtship period of the relationship.
(Read as before you got to bang her!)

Jesus Fucking Christ ... She's got hair #!@@#$@#$ down there !!!

Seriously girl ... Even Tera "Jabba The Hut" Patrick is not cool !!!

All she wants to do is hold hands. I want to do more than that ... A LOT FUCKING MORE !!!

Yet another one you have to award to the guys ... No questions about that !!!

Why the fuck does she want to complicate it with talks of marriage???

I mean seriously ... WHY do you have to complicate things ???

She wont give me head ... She's lousy in bed, and she simply doesn't want to/wont learn!

Well ... No contesting this one either!
After all - it is for a very good reason Winston Churchill once said "Any woman who thinks the way to a man's heart is through his stomach is aiming a bit too high!"
;)

I met this other girl at the mall/club last night ... She so much fun to hang out with ... Besides - She's cute, she's intelligent ... And I think she digs me too!

When this happens - It's a no brainer ... He's gone for good !

She's not around as often as I'd like her to be.

Well ... Some guys need caring and attention a lot. Some guys don't. This is something you'll hear someone in the former category say.

My brother/best friends don't like her.

We value what our brothers/best friends have to say. It's an unwritten rule in our big black rule book that they've got our backs covered. And if they don't like - it's because they know somethings wrong with you and I accept that!

She's a slut! She bangs anything that moves!

Ideally, this is the kindda of girl you never dump. Atleast not for this reason anyways!
Instead, you should learn to "utilize" her, and her extract the maximum from her ummmmmmmm "skills", till you get fed up of it and then and only then should you dump her. And when you do - just make sure it hurts (her) reaaaaaaaaaal bad!
;)

She's getting too close for comfort!

This is an absolute no brainer. If you turn up the pressure - we will turn off the heat.
It's as simple as that!

My parents want me to get married to someone of their choice!

This one is particularly interesting. It turns out the "someone of their (parents!) choice" is - more qualified + more beautiful + has bigger tits + has a super rich dad + the future in-laws have made a mouth-watering offer of letting him take over their family business + superb dowry in the offing. Hence, the girl he was dating got dumped.
It's a cheesy excuse ... Maybe even downright despicable, but heck, it's not an Utopian world we live in these days. A guys got to look out for himself. And if he doesn't do it himself - no one will.
So, you poor darling who was on the receiving end of the raw deal - All I have to say is - "Life is not fair ... Deal with it!"

She's too controlling ... She's always telling me what to do ... She simply doesn't let me be ME!

Now this one is a fact. There is even an old proverb that supports it - "Men marry a girl expecting her not to change. Women marry men because they want to change them!"
I mean seriously ... We know what's good for ourselves. We got along very well for the last 27 years. Now, we don't need someone to tell us that the odd beer we have every week is "bad" for our health. Neither do we want someone to advise us on "how important it is to keep the toilet seat down" nor do we want someone to advise on "how important it is to have a dirt free home"
I mean seriously ... Even Adolf Hitler might not have been so frigging controlling!

Pros and Cons

2009-05-22T02:54:00.003+05:30

Wipro

Pros	Cons
I made some truly great friends	Salary was miserably low
Learnt my first most important lesson about the corporate world - People Will Cheat You ... So don't trust anyone!	Project did not meet any of my career aspirations
Had plenty of free time, which I could've utilized positively (But,sadly, I didn't)	Worked under a program manager who lied bare-face and played politics 24X7
Got an opportunity to directly interact with the clients	The company management was not transparent in matters related to promotions or compensation
Infrastructure facilities (ac, cabs, pantry, washrooms, cafeteria, etc) was good	No brand value
	Never felt any loyalty to manager/team/project/client
	Was very frustrated about my career prospects in the project
	Benefits and Perks were myths
	The company was not very people friendly
	Existance of a "Must-Swipe-In-And-Swipe-Out-Everyday-At-Office" policy

Oracle

Pros	Cons
I made a few true friends - in every sense of the word	Work was monotonous. Especially after being in the same project for close to 2 years
Learnt a lot of things about a lot of things - technical, interpersonal, managerial, leadership - to name a few	In the long run, the position did not meet my career goals of moving into a Sales and Marketing position.
Had great mentors who always added value to your life and work	Pay revisions did not happen on time - leading to tensions and frustrations and rising tempers
Worked under a great leader and a perfect manager - Joshua Mahendran	Official team outings (Company Paid Ones i.e.) were far and few in between
The work culture was "picture perfect"	The 'HR Team' is a spent force
Has a strong sense of loyalty to my manager, team and company
Felt a strong sense of achievement in each and every task I performed
The team was very superior - both technically and personally - and were always ready to help one another at any time
The work culture fostered development of a "friendship" and "brotherhood" feeling amongst members of the team, which lead to better bonding amongst members in the team and thereby a better throughput in terms of productivity
Very employee friendly and employee centric organization
The perks and benefits provided to employees were very lucrative
The compensation offered - at the time of joining the company - was the best in the industry
Flexi-Timings
No Dress Code
Work From Home Option
Plenty of Holidays available
No "Must-Swipe-In-Everyday-At-Office" rule
Can maintain a healthy work-life balance
People are very professional in all aspects of work
Things always happen on time as per committed deadlines

TCS

Pros	Cons
Job Security	Lousy place to be if you're serious about career growth and monetary prospects
Lax worklife	Pathetic work culture
I was working off my hometown. That was a big plus	Moronic, bordering Illiterate, co-workers
No "Must-Swipe-In-Everyday-At-Office" rule	Waaaaaaaaaaaay too much Red-Tape in all departments
If you're benched - no need to come to office till you're alloted into a project	Too bureaucratic for my tastes
	Claims never get processed on time
	Travel requests never get approved till 10 minutes before your train/flight leaves town
	Lousy Infrastructure facilities
	A/C are switched off post 6.00 pm. If you need to work beyond that - try not to die off suffocation, as your company provided insurance policy doesn’t cover that
	No cab facilities. Period!
	Toilets don't have soaps, toilet paper, or for that matter water
	Managers are plain mean
	Project Leads are worse!
	Lousy Pay Package
	People lie and backstab a lot. Get used to it!
	Getting a release from a project is tougher than getting a hard-on sitting naked on a hot tin roof!
	Project and Efforts Planning is totally lousy if not stupid
	You need to call people Sir and Madam, if you need to get something done. This is something totally alien in this industry

UST Global

Pros	Cons
The compensation offered is lucrative	Certain senior members in the project snub and insults you in front of others to push their point.
Potential upside of being able to travel onsite after completion of 1 year in the team	Certain senior members in the project are extremely stubborn, not open to negotitions or inputs from other team members, and duncical in all people management related aspects in a project
Job profile involves designing and maintaining OAF based applications - which is something I enjoy	Concept of classroom trainings is not promoted
Potential upside of being able to move into a sales and marketing capability after the completion of the current assignment	Things never happen on time
Learning a completely new product - which is a pretty interesting and resume-value-adding experience	People are not very professional
Presence of some very senior, experienced and knowledgeable colleagues in the project who ensure the rest of the team are bought up to speed on the matters pertaining to work	Promises are seldom kept
The work force, in general, is very youthful and friendly.	Company policies are often twisted and interpreted so that you always end up on the wrong end of a raw deal
The cost of living in Trivandrum is very cheap as compared to all the other cities I've worked in - vis-a-vis - Chennai, Bangalore, Cochin	Work timings are lousy (11 am to 11 pm)
	No concept of flexi-timings (atleast in my project)
	Infrastructure (cabs, ac, pantry, cafeteria, washrooms) sucks big time
	Concept of having to attend meetings - even if you have nothing to do with them. Nett result, wastage of man-hours
	Attrition rate is very high (In the last 2 month alone 5 people left - in a team of 25 i.e.)

Laundry Day - Hard Work

2009-04-26T14:41:00.000+05:30

After 8 long months, today, I had to start doing my laundry again.
The last time I did this was during my Bangalore stay.After that, since I came back to Cochin and started living with my parents, I never had to do it again. Till Today!!!

Anyways ... Here are some pics of it ... The output of my hard labour i.e.!

Why My Former Company Churns Out The World's Best Employees And Managers

2009-03-28T23:11:00.005+05:30

After working for about 2 years at Oracle, I moved to a new organization 8 months back.
The last 8 months, I must say, has taught me a loooooooooot of things. To be absolutely honest, it has been an extremely informative as well as humbling experience. And during this period - one of the more important learnings I've gained is how and why the employees from My Employer (hereafter referred to as My*E*) end up as the worlds best managers and consultants.

1. Exceptional Planning Skills

In a company where the toilets don't have toilet paper and most often than not - the taps don't have water in them either - planning is a daily part of your life. Taking into consideration the holistic perspective that taking a shit in the office is not an option, employees come prepared to fart for all they are worth, but not visit the toilets.

We recently has one of our US clients visit us. Unfortunately, for him, as usual there was no toilet paper in the washrooms. I was taking a leak in the bathroom then, and hence, I got to see his frantic rummaging for some paper. The poor fellow had no way out but to "control" his emotions till he got back to his hotel in evening. From the next day onwards, I think, he started bringing his own roll of paper!

2. Operation Excellence

Generally, any company that expects its employees to sit beyond their regular work hours makes it up to them. This is in the form of dinner allowances, snack allowances, free cab drop to homes, having a support system available to help you in case of any emergency, etc. In short - at the very least - they provide you a conducive environment to work!

Well, not My*E* ... To give you some background - We work off a leased out L&T owned building. As per the agreement signed by My*E* and L&T, it seems that My*E* would have to pay extra money if they want the air conditioning systems to be run beyond the regular office times (9 am to 6.30 pm).
Now My*E* is very smart and doesn't want to bear this cost. So, they pass it on to the project teams. Now, the project teams don't want to accept this as it would affect their profitability big time.

So ... What do you think they do???

Very simple. They tell the team members "Officially" that they should not stay beyong 6.30 pm and work. But, "unofficially" your PM tells you to sit till 2 am in the morning and complete the project!

3. Cost Cutting

This one is as simple as it gets:
1. Low Pay
2. No Benefits

Period !!!

4. Appraisal System

The managers at My*E* respect each other. On that note, I think it's prudent to add that their mode of gauging (or should I say sizing up!) each other is by "who reprimanded, in the most loud, obscene and weirdest fashion, his subordinate in front of how many other employees!".
The unwritten thumb rule is - The higher the headcount and decibal value - the more respected, honored, established and sought after manager he is!

This is one company culture that sets My*E* apart from all the other employers I've heard of!

So, to sum it up - if you're arrogant-to-the-core, don't-know-shit-about-your-work, are-a-loud-arse-faced-moron - drop me a call - I'll put you in touch with My*E*'s HR folks - As they say in fairy tales - "And they lived happily ever after!"

Status Update : Thanks to not fitting the above bill - I decided to leave My*E* and pursue employment elsewhere. I will soon be posting a field report on whether/not these new guys are any different. Keep watching this space for more action packed adventure stories of 'Shikari Sharathu'

A Special Message

2009-03-09T00:51:00.002+05:30

Well ... There you have it ... This is EXACTLY WHAT I want to tell "someone" right now !!!

Hand Writing Analysis

2009-03-04T22:50:00.006+05:30

I got a Handwriting Analysis done, and this is what the software spewed out:

You plan ahead, and are interested in beauty, design, outward appearance, and symmetry.
You are a social person who likes to talk and meet others.
You are negative, fearful, resistant, doubtful, and/or selfish.
You are not very reserved, impatient, self-confident and fond of action.
You are self-confident and like to bring attention to yourself.

If you want to take the test for yourself - Click Here.

Stock Market Terms Redifined

2009-02-28T16:21:00.001+05:30

The following blog is a complete recreation of the one at this link.
I fell off my chair laughing, and so, I decided that I was gonna make it a part of my blog as well.

CEO : Chief Embezzlement Officer.

CFO : Corporate Fraud Officer.

BULL MARKET : A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

BEAR MARKET : A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry.

VALUE INVESTING : The art of buying low and selling lower.

BROKER : What my broker has made me.

STANDARD & POOR : Your life in a nutshell.

STOCK ANALYST : Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

STOCK SPLIT : When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.

FINANCIAL PLANNER : A guy whose phone has been disconnected.

MARKET CORRECTION : The day after you buy stocks.

CASH FLOW : The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

YAHOO : What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.

WINDOWS : What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR : Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.

PROFIT : An archaic word no longer in use.

Talk About Misunderstandings!!!

2009-02-23T00:19:00.001+05:30

Great Indian HR

2009-02-22T17:56:00.002+05:30

Another Fun Game

2009-02-20T17:54:00.002+05:30

I Am : An Assertive, And Fun Person!

I Think : About All The Different Permutations Of Combinations Any Situation Can Morph Into!

I Know : That I Will Succeed In Life. Even If It Takes Some Time!

I Want : Perfect The Art Of Pickup And Brand Myself As "Mpua"

I Have : A Very Kinky Mind!

I Wish : I Could Go Back To My College Days!

I Hate : Loosing!

I Miss : Being Carefree!

I Fear : Rejection!

I Hear : The Fan In My Room - Which Btw Is Making A Lot Of Noise!

I Smell : Nice ... Very Nice!

I Crave : To Meet Interesting People!

I Search : For Success And Power!

I Wonder : If I Will Ever Be

I Regret : Leaving Oracle

I Love : Myself!

I Ache : After Spending 3 Straight Hours At The Gym!

I Was Not : Fitness Conscious 6 Months Back!

I Am Not : Boring!

I Cry : Very Rarely!

I Believe : I Can!

I Dance : Like A Frog!

I Sing : Like A Crow!

I Read : Anything That Adds Value Or Knowledge To Me!

I Don't Always : Do I What I Say!

I Fight : For What I Believe Is Right And Due To Me!

I Write : Really Good Blogs

I Win : Most Of The Time!

I Lose : Only To The People I Care!

I Never : Cheat Friends!

I Always : Smile!

I Confuse : People Just For Kicks!

I Listen : To My Friends!

I Can Usually Be Found : In Front Of My Computer!

I Am Scared : That I'll Die A Very Old Man!

I Need : To Beef Up And Work Towards My Life Goals!

I Am Happy : When I'm With Friends!

I Imagine : I'll Be Financially Retired In Another 5 Years!

The Single's Dating Scenario

2009-02-20T13:48:00.002+05:30

"THAT" Time Of The Month

2009-02-19T20:24:00.004+05:30

I really don't know whom to feel sorry for:

.1. The girl who is PMS'ing
OR
.2. The poor guy(s) who's on the receiving end

All I can say, from my experience thus far, is that life gets REAAAAAAAAALLY REAAAAAAAALLY TOUGH AND MURKY those few days every month!!!

The George Bush'es

2009-02-19T18:53:00.005+05:30

A Fact Of Life

2009-02-19T18:53:00.003+05:30

Scary Stuff - But It's True !!!

The Importance Of Sex Education Amongst Kids

2009-02-19T18:53:00.001+05:30

This one picture says it all

My Valentines Day

2009-02-15T22:43:00.000+05:30

Come to think of it, I've never really celebrated Valentines. But, I don't know what got into me this year - but, I really wanted to celebrate it!

Maybe it's because - all these last years I was in the middle of friends and was always getting some sort of "action". But, all of a sudden - this year, for the last 8 months to be precise, I've been away from my friends a lot and honestly - I haven't gotten anything close to "action" either.
I guess, that pretty much makes a strong case for the "WHY" part of my current state.

Anyways ... I notice I digressed here. So, lets come back to our main topic. How I celebrated Valentine's day.

My parent's were not in town (as they had gone to Calicut to see Mata Amritananda Maayi). Ofcourse, this is a dream come true for any guy on Valentines Day. Any guy with a girlfriend or a date i.e.
NOT ME!

I went out to catch a movie with a few of my college friends. Sadly, on route, some jerk kids on a motorcycle rammed into my car and dented my rear bumper. Before I could beat the shit out of them - those morons on the bike rode away at break neck speed! I was too much in shock at what had happened, and so it didn't even strike me to take a look at their number plates.
:(

Anyways ... The movie was a pretty sad one (A Malayalam flick titled - Red Chillies). After which, thanks to my dampened spirit, post the car crash, I came straight home and went to sleep.

That's pretty much all that happened to me on Valentines this year ... As simple as that !!!

(I know it's a lousy post. But, I aint in a very good mood to blog right now ... Sorry about that!)

Experimenting With "The Game" - A Smashing Success

2009-02-09T18:58:00.000+05:30

Over the last couple of weeks, I've been trying to implement a lot of techniques and strategies that I read about in Neil Straus's book titled "The Game".

And what have I realized - It's all true ... Atleast - everything that I've tried so far - Worked Like A Charm!

Things I've put to the test so far are:
* Negging
* Demonstration of Higher Value
* Countering Last Minute Resistance
* Bitch Shield Blasting
* Openers

Ofcourse - there are quite a few other items I need to practice before I can safely declare that I've mastered the game. But, hey, I'm in no hurry anyways. After all - I have my whole life ahead of me anyways!

Project Management - A Challenge Or A Nightmare

2009-02-09T18:56:00.000+05:30

Until I started my freelance consulting business - I always thought of project managers as useless pieces of junk, who simply made life miserable for the tech team.
(Ofcourse, I still hold that opinion about the project managers at my current employers!)

But, what I realize now is that they're an absolutely essential element to the equation. And, I should also add, their job although light in terms of workload is laden with tons of responsibilities and worries and tensions.

"Deadlines ... Status Calls ... Customer Retention ... Solution Pitching ... Request For Initiatives ... Request For Proposals ... Leadership Management ... Team Spirit Building ... Returns On Investment ... Margins ... Revenues ... Billing ... etc ... etc ... etc ..."

These are the buzz words that I live by these days. Ofcourse, since I am new to this kind of a role - I am making plenty of mistakes. But, the good news is - everyday is a learning curve and I ensure that I don't make the same mistake twice!

Hopefully, soon, I'll be a kick ass manager (and a lot more!)

Godspeed to me !!!

A Nice Cartoon

2009-01-26T19:58:00.001+05:30

I found this cartoon cute. I'm sure all you guys will back me up on this!
;)

About Me

2009-01-25T23:16:00.000+05:30

This is the About Me section you will find on my Orkut home page.

001. Real Name ? Sharath Kumar R
002. Nickname ? Kumbu/Thaddiyann/Ivar/Remo - Changes with the group I am in!
003. Single Or Taken? Right Now - Single. Tommorow - I don't know. ;)
004. Zodiac Sign ? Cancer
005. Male Or Female ? Male.
006. Elementary ? Naval Public School
008. Middle ? Naval Public School
009. Highschool ? Chinmaya
010. Hair Color ? Natural color is Black, but it changes often.
011. Long Or Short ? Short
015. Are You A Health Freak ? Most Definitely NO
016. Height ? 5`10
017. Do You Have A Crush On Someone ? All The Time.
018. Do You Like Yourself ? I Love Myself
019. Piercings ? No
020. Tattoos ? Not Right Now - Considering Getting one Though!
021. Right Or Left ? Right

General :

022. Favourite Fruit ? Mangoes
023. Favourtie Icecream ? Fig And Honey
024. Favourite Cake ? Butterscotch And Proline
025. Eye Doctor Or Dentist ? Eye Doctor

Firsts :

026. First Surgery ? Appendicitis
027. First Piercing ? None
028. First Best Friend ? Chery In 11Th Grade
029. First Award ? I Can't Remember.
030. First Sport You Joined ? Badminton
031. First Pet ? Dog
032. First Vacation ? Ooty
033. First Concert ? None
034. First Crush ? Prinyanka Ramgopal Or Tanya Thomas ... Can't Remember Which Was The First
035 First Job: Project Engineer @ Wipro Technologies

Currently :

035. Eating ? Just Had Ma Dinner
036. Drinking ? Tang
037. I'm About To ? Watch The Movie "Embrace Of The Vampire"
038. Listening To ? Enigma's "Principles Of Lust"
039. Loving ? Me
041. Wearing ? Nothing ... ;)

Your Future :
042. Want Kids ? Yup.
043. Want To Get Married ? No. Not for the next 10 years atleast!
044. Careers In Mind ? Corporate Big Wig/Entrepreneur

Which Is Better With The Opposite Sex? :
045. Lips Or Eyes ? Eyes
046. Hugs Or Kisses ? Start Off With The Hugs. Finish With Kisses
047. Shorter Or Taller ? Shorter
048. Romantic Or Spontaneous ? Spontaneous
049. Nice Stomach Or Nice Arms ? Nice Stomach
050. Sensitive Or Loud ? Sensitive
051. Hook-Up Or Relationship ? Hook-Up
052. Trouble Maker Or Hesitant ? Trouble Maker

Have You Ever :
053. Kissed A Stranger ? No
054. Drank Bubbles ? No
055. Lost Glasses/Contacts ? No
056. Ran Away From Home ? Yes. Once ... Looooooooong Back!
057. Broken Any Bones ? Many Times
058. Broken Somone's Heart ? More Often Than I'd Like To Remember.
059. Been Arrested ? Almost. Bribing the cop saved My Ass That Night!
060. Turned Someone Down ? Yes
061. Cried When Someone Died ? Yes.
062. Liked A Friend ? Yes

Do You Believe In:
063. Yourself ? Completely.
064. Miracles ? No
065. Love At First Sight ? No.... But "Lust At First Sight" - Oh Hell Yeah!!!
066. Heaven ? Yes
067. Santa Clause ? No
068. Tooth Fairy ? No
069. Kissing On The First Date ? Most Definitely
070. Angels ? No

Answer Truthfully :
071. Is There One Or More People You Want To Be With Right Now ? Yes
072. Had More Than One Boyfriend/Girlfriend At One Time ? Yes. Unlike popular belief - Two timing is a lot of hard work!
(If you don't want to get caught i.e.)
073. Do You Believe In God ? Yes

If you like it - Feel free to use the template on your Orkut profile too!

3 Months and 40,000 Bucks Later.

2009-01-12T23:02:00.003+05:30

This is the new me. I must confess - although it's not much - I'm happy with the results ... Very Happy !!!

People who know me - What's your take on this ... Are you any bit "impressed" with the results???

Hypocrite Or Not

2009-01-11T12:49:00.001+05:30

I have one really good friend of mine - for those who absolutely must know, it's a SHE - who I keep disagreeing with (it ultimately ends up in a fierce spat - a then we don't talk for a couple of days!)over a particular topic.

The topic of debate is very simple:
She "makes love" to her boyfriend as often as she can afford to, but whenever she hears about other girls/guys "having sex" with people (read as one night stands) - she ends up terming them as lewd, immoral and fiendish people.

As per me - She's A Hypocrites With A Capital H!
(and that's what I keep telling her!)

But, according to her - to quote her exact words - "It's different ... And you'll never understand!!!"

YES - I confess - I don't understand. Anyone wanna help me understand this better - feel free to drop me a comment "explaining" it!!!

Field Report - 101

2009-01-02T01:27:00.004+05:30

Since none of you moron friends and readers of mine helped me by replying to my previous post, and me not being the very patient types, I decided to take things into my own hands.

On 29-Dec-2008 (Monday), I decided that come what may - I'm gonna hit on that chick in my gym. I had prepped myself into the right mind space and finally, I reached the gym floor only to find that she hadn't come in today!
I must confess, I was very disappointed indeed.

But, all was not lost! There was this other babe in the gym. Technically, she isn't a babe per se. I say this cause she's as tall as me, older than me (I wouldn't rate this as a definitive disadvantage per se) and built like a tank (seriously, she'd give Scott Steiner a run for his money!).

She's one person who's been coming to the gym for the last 3+ months, but, has never (atleast I haven't seen her) spoken to anyone there. On that note, I must also mention, she never smiles at anyone either.
I figured that if I were able to "Open The Set" (PUA language) with her - I would be able to "Open The Set" with anyone.

In my honest opinion - the toughest part in "Opening A Set" is the approach. The anxiety revolving around the fear of rejection is really what freaks you out the most and as a result - kills your appetite!
But, somehow (thankfully!), I was able to push beyond that and pursue what I had really come here for - "Opening The Set"

I never figured that things would be as simple as extending your hands and saying - "Hi ... I'm Sharath ... And who're you?".

She seemed very hesitant about talking to me at first, but, I think, my "I don't need what you've got" attitude and "confident" mannerism was what sealed the deal. Over the next 15 minutes - I had her talking to me like a 8 year old kid.

And just as she was leaving for the day I said - "You know what ... You have a really nice smile ... Next time I see ya - don't forget to beam me a big smile ... Okay?" - and believe me - she was smiling from ear to ear.

One part of me argues that it was "Beginners Luck". That maybe true! But, I'm gonna put try this approach to the test a couple of more times over the next couple of days/weeks (with different people ofcourse!). If it still works, then, sure as hell it's not Beginners Luck!

But, in any case - after that day, I realized, there is nothing to be worried off! As a matter of fact - this is pretty easy stuff.
Also, I must say - my confidence levels are much higher than it was before 29-Dec-2008. Now, in some teenie-weenie little corner of my head, I am no longer intimidated about talking to a strangers (strangers with tits i.e.!)

Do expect more field report - Good, Bad And Ugly - over the next couple of days/weeks/months.

Wish me luck!!!

7 Answers to 7 Things

2009-01-02T01:19:00.005+05:30

I found this little "game" here. It looked nice, so, I thought I'd give it a shot.

7 THINGS I PLAN TO DO BEFORE I DIE
.1. Drive A Hayabusa (And Push Her To Her Top Speed While I'm At It!)
.2. Do A Threesome
.3. Visit Some Place Exotic
.4. Put 1 Crore Rupees In The Bank
.5. Become A Pick Up Artist
.6. Learn To Dance
.7. Find My "True Love"

7 THINGS I CAN DO
.1. Talk ... Talk ... And Talk
.2. Make People Smile
.3. Write Good Blogs (Most Of The Time Atleast!)
.4. Think In Very A Logical And Analytical Manner (But, Hey, That's A Part Of My Job)
.5. Make Friends Easily
.6. Convince People
.7. Helping Friends Out

7 THINGS I CANNOT DO
.1. Sing (I Bray ... Period!)
.2. Dance (Not Even If My Life Depended On It!)
.3. Forgive And Forget (I Accept - I'm A Very Vengeful Person)
.4. Stop Dreaming
.5. Bear Being Stood Up On A Date
.6. Be Quiet And Restrained Whilst In The Company Of A Feminist (They Somehow Tend To Bring Out The MCP In Me!)
.7. Be Very Patient

7 THINGS THAT ATTRACT ME TO ANOTHER PERSON
.1. Beautiful And Expressive Eyes
.2. A Sense Of Humor
.3. Being Smart
.4. A Big Warm Smile
.5. Big Tits And A Well Rounded Ass
.6. Presence Of Mind
.7. Broad Mindedness

7 THINGS THAT I SAY MOST OFTEN
.1. "Wassup ..."
.2. "Thank You!"
.3. :"Well ..."
.4. "Hi Sweetheart!"
.5. "Oh ... Crap!"
.6. "Good"
.7. "Fuck!!!"

7 CELEBRITY CRUSHES
.1. Asin Thotumkal (How I Wish I Could Get Married To Her!!!)
.2. Riya Sen (Ever Since I Saw Her MMS Scandal With Ashmit Patel - All I Wanna Do Is Jump Into Bed With Her!)
.3. Pamela Anderson (Obvious Reasons!)
.4. Sheetal Malar (She's Just Drop Dead Goooooooooooooooooooooooorgeous!)
.5. Tyra Banks (Somehow - To Me Atleast - She's The Hottest Supermodel Ever!)
.6. Hrithik Roshan (Gaaaaaaawd I Wish I Had The "Body And Looks" Like Him!)
.7. Mukesh Ambani (One Seriously Smart And Dangerously Rich SOB. I Wish I Could Learn To Think And Envision Stuff Like Him!)

Anyone intersted in playing it - please feel free to do so. Just drop me a comment if you do.
(It'd be nice to read it!)
:)

Memoirs Of The Fallen Year

2009-01-01T01:00:00.000+05:30

So, it's official now. 2008 has expired. 2009 has taken birth. It's 12.30 Indian Time, when I write this blog.

Generally, my new years are spent either sleeping blissfully, or partying away till I drop. But, this year, I ended up spending a quiet new year's with my mom and dad. As a matter of fact, come to think of it, that's how I used to spend all my new years till my second year in college. After that - I don't recall having spent a new year with parents. But, yes, I must say - It was a fun experience, and definitely not as "boring" as I had expected it to be. On the contrary, I must confess - I had a lot of fun tonight. Probably more fun than I'd have had if I were at some discotheque totally sloshed and oogling over some hot chick on the dance floor.

Anyways ... The reason I decided to blog tonight is to list out a few good things/memories and some bad things/memories of the past year. So, with no further delays, let me dive straight into them - Good Memories first.

Good

Started Working Out With A Zeal
After many many many years of crazy partying, over-eating and under-excercising - my body looks totally "out of shape" (to say the least!) Thanks to my best friend Chery - I started working out. Now, thanks to my mom's constantly nagging (sometimes I tend to become a tad lazy and end up skipping my gym sessions) - I am very regular at the gym. Slowly, but steadily, the results are showing. My upper body is looking nice. I've lost 6 inches off my waist. I've lost 9 kilos in the last 4 months. Ofcourse, my tummy still needs a lot of working on - but hey - I never expected it to disappear completely before the 1 year mark is hit!

My Foray Into Business
For this I have to thank TCS. If they did not piss me off and drive me crazy with all their crazy ass bureaucratic attire, politics and cheap ass gimics - I would've never taken this step. Now, thanks to this, I've made a decent amount of money from my Freelancing business. If all goes well, and I am able to sustain the amount of business I am able to do - I might even take it up full time.

Living With My Parents
Although living with your parents does have its downs - on the whole, I loved the overall experience. It's been a good 8 years since I spent this much time with my parents, and honestly, it's been blissful (well - most of the time atleast!)

H1B Visa Stamping
Sadly, the US economy (and thereby the job market) is getting raped in the arse. But, even so, getting my H1B stamped does give me a strategic and tactical edge over the rest of the IT crowd here. Also, thanks to this, my marketability and market value has also increased manifold.

My Own Apartment
During my last 5 months at Bangalore, I was staying alone in my own apartment (I rented one to myself i.e.) All I can say is - if you dont have an apartment to yourself - you're missing out on the best in life. Trust me - there are tons of things you can do when you're alone that you can't do when your sharing the house with roomies.

Financial Status
Ever since I moved to Cochin, my financial situation looks healthy. For the first time in the last 4 years - even at the end of the month I end up having "some money" left over in the bank. This is totally unlike the scenario during my stay at Bangalore and Chennai when by the 20th of every month - I'm left scrounging for pennies.

Boozing
Although, I must add, the current hiatus from alcohol is primarily due to me staying with the parents (My mom goes ballistic when I mention that I used to have a beer once every "couple of months" during my Bangalore days!) - this, to me atleast, is really cool.
During my stay at Bangalore, the only thing that I did every weekend (and often during weekdays as well!) is booze.
The only question back then was - Where??? (When I was hanging out with my buddies from college - the location was some cheap bar, and when hanging out with my buddies from school - the location used to be some uptown nightclub)
To be honest, there was a small phase - sometime into the 6th month of the my stay in Bangalore - when I was drinking a couple of bottles of beer practically on a daily basis. End result - A month later - I ended up with a lighter pocket and a fatter arse!

Bad

Switching Organizations
Most definitely one of my BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGEST mistakes ever. It's not because Oracle is the best company on can get into (Ofcourse - Oracle is a great place to work at, but it's not "End All"), it's simply because TCS isn't such a great place (If I had a pressing urge to be more politically correct - I'd say - TCS isn't the right organization for my tastes and aspirations)
With the hiring freeze restrictions at Oracle and my X-Manager being upset about me leaving even after repeatedly asking me to stay - it'll be a cold day in hell before I can get back in there!

Worklife
I can describe my current project and the project management team in two words - HORRIBLY DEPRESSING!
That's all I wanna talk about this aspect right now.

Ugly

Girls
All I want to say about this is - 2007 was waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay better than 2008 in this aspect!

Heart Break Hotel
Unfortunately - I had to break up with someone on Valentine's day. Also, I convinced one of my best friends to "Hump and Dump" one of the girls he was dating (It's a long story ... Can't go into the details here!)
All I can say now is - Sorry Darlings!

New Year Resolutions

I don't believe in new year resolution simply for the reason that I never manage to follow them. So, instead, I try to make a list of items I want to try and complete by the next year. In case I don't complete them - they just spill over to the wishlist for the following year.

The following are a few things I want to target for the upcoming year:

.1. Loose 45 Kilos In the next 12 Months.
.2. Clear Up The Huge Backlog Of Books And Novels I Have.
.3. Enroll For Dance Lessons.
.4. Enroll For Dj Classes.
.5. Improve Profitability And Self-Sustainability Of My Business.
.6. Meet Atleast 10 New And Interesting People.
.7. Discover Atleast One New Interest/Hobby.
.8. Buy My First Car.
.9. Start Saving For My Retirement.
.10. Restart Investing In The Stock Market.
.11. Enroll For A Personality Improvement And Leadership Training Session.
.12. Pay Off - Completely - My Education Loan.
.13. Make atleast 1 person smile EVERYDAY.
.14. Blogs regularly.
.15. Complete my Life-At-Diapro book.
.16. Master the art of "Picking Up" any girl you lay your eyes on.
.17. Try two-timing a prospective GF.

My New Avatar - Corporate Trainer

2008-12-22T22:23:00.003+05:30

I was asked to take "J2EE Training" for about 30 odd fresher who recently joined our team. Since I like teaching people - I happily complied.

As can be expected, my manager at work pulled a fast one on me, and since I am "The Moron Who Doesn't Know To Say NO Sternly" - it's resulted in me having to work everyday till around 2 am - including both days of the weekend!
(Now - I have to do my regular 9 am - 6 pm project work and then come home and start working on preparing the slides needed as also learn up on all the topics - so that I can delve out an effective training!)

But, all the cribbing apart - It was a fun experience. Watching all the participants glow with joy on learning new concepts. And, from the feedback forms they filled out, I came to know that "The Participants Felt" that my communication skills were very good, my training was effective, and above all - the course content exceeded their expectations from the training!

I must confess - "Mugamboe Kussh Hua"

To cater to the training program, I had to prepare quite a few PPT slide - as a matter of fact a whopping 403 slides.
(Ofcourse, I must confess, I did leverage a lot of these slides from already existing presentations that were available online)

And now - I am going to share this with the participants of the program. But, there was one small problem. I had written personal notes on many of the slides. I didn't want to pass on the slides with these scibbled notes to them as it. with every probability, wouldn't make sense to them. This is when I stumbled upon this article on the web. It gives you step-by-step instructions on what needs to be done to delete all your Slide notes programmatically.

How to remove all your Power Point notes

Open your presentation
Click "Tools", "Macro", "Macros" and type in removeNotes.
Click "Create".
Paste the following into the window that appears, just before the text "End Sub"

Dim objSlide As Slide
Dim objShape As Shape

For Each objSlide In ActivePresentation.Slides
For Each objShape In objSlide.NotesPage.Shapes
If objShape.TextFrame.HasText Then
objShape.TextFrame.TextRange = ""
End If
Next
Next

Close the script window.
Click "Tools", "Macro", "Macros" and double click removeNotes.

Your notes should be deleted!

Anyone who wants to use this to achieve the same purpose as me is free to do so. Please note, I will not be held liable if anything goes (terribly?) wrong.

Maxim Cover Shots for the year

2008-12-20T00:09:00.002+05:30

January 2008

February 2008

March 2008

April 2008

May 2008

June 2008

July 2008

August 2008

September 2008

October 2008

November 2008

Need Help And Tips from My Casanova Pals

2008-12-14T22:49:00.003+05:30

Now, this one specifically goes out to those friends of mine who are (or atleast claim) hard core casanova's and can sweep any woman off her feet (read as get her into bed!). All female readers of mine could also feel free to comment on this matter - as I'm sure your inputs would be equally priceless. Anyways ... With no further ado - let me dive into the matter.

Basically, there is this hot chick at the gym I go to. She's really hot (no questions about that!) and has a helloffa lotta attitude about it as well. Since, she's the only "eligible" girl (read as - she's the only one that looks < 30 and has a body that worth talking to!) - all the people at the gym (boys, men, uncles, grandpas, floor staff, instructors - you get the drift don't you!) oogle at her (some discreetly - some not so discreetly).
I won't say I dont oogle at her - I do too.

Now the problem is - I wanna know what would be the best approach to hit on her and get her phone number?
;)

Personally, I think, I really need to start honing up on these skills right away - else my whole "Trip To Foreign Lands" will be a pure waste of time!
This is where all you "experienced" and "talented" friends of mine come in.
* Give me good advice - and if it works - I'll make it worth your while.
* Give me junk advise - and if it flops and I loose face (or end up with a slipper on my face) - I'll break your jaw!

So come on folks ... Share your experiences and advise and tips and knowledge. Let's make this world a better place!!!

The Thermodynamics of Hell

2008-12-13T21:37:00.001+05:30

The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so profound that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting Oh my God.

Missing My Mentors

2008-12-13T00:21:00.003+05:30

Throughout my career, I've been extremely lucky to have great mentors ...

During my Wipro days
I had Sujatha (aka Suj) to give me timely inputs, thoughts and suggestions. She was someone who I could approach with my concerns and not only would she help me find a resolution to it - she also assisted me molding my thought process to arrive at those results on my own.

Another important person during my stay there is Farzana (aka Farzi). Although her presence and role in my life wasn't as extensive as Sujatha's - she too had a turnkey role in it.

During my Oracle days
I had Sameer - who, in my honest opinion, was my best mentor so far. It is from him I learnt a lot of things about how to make a mark in the corporate world. I observed and learnt all the things - right from "What To Say And Do" all the way to "Whom To Influence" - from him. In short - from whatever I've learnt from him - I hope to someday make it big as a manager.

And I can never thank Pradhan (aka pvaramba) enough for all the technical mentoring he has provided. It is from him I learnt the art of how to approach and solve any technical problem - even if you have no clue on what it is. In my honest opinion, he is the most humble techno savvy person I have met. Although this guy really knows his shit - I'd say - his primary strength is not his technical superiority, but rather, his willingness to help people around him scale up to his level of knowledge.
(Seriously - never once have I seen him ridicule anyone about their lack of knowledge in anything, and he's always ready to spend as much time as needed to get things into your head!)

But, today, I was wondering - "Why haven't I been able to learn anything in the last couple of months". And that's when it struck me ... Since the day I joined TCS, I've not had a good mentor!!!

I kid you not!!! In the last 6 months that I've been here - I haven't even met one fellow from whom I can or for that matter want to learn anything from.
(And on top of that, at least what I've observed so far is, no one seems to be open to taking someone under their wing and molding and shaping them into something better and brighter!)

I can't hope to learn anything from my peers and colleagues here as they're all freshers and have nothing much to offer me per se, and, the management here is so bad - that the only time they will even talk to you is when something goes terribly wrong in the project (and the only thing they do during this talk session is shout their head off!!!). During all other times - they're a very closely knit group and they don't want to let anyone else inside!
(You think I haven't tried to wriggle myself in!!!)

Well ... What else can I say other than - "God Help Me!"

The Reasons For Going To The US

2008-12-12T01:29:00.002+05:30

Okay ... Ever since I wrote my previous blog entry, I've been getting phone calls, GTalk pings, sms'es, etc from many people asking me for the "true" reason why I want to go to the USA.

Before I move on to talking about it, let me tell you what a few members of my friends and family it could be:

* My Dad thinks I want to go to the US to make and save more money.

* My Mom thinks I want to go to the US for a better career growth.

* Pallavi (aka Pallu) thinks that I want to go to the US just to get laid.

Well, I must confess, they are not completely wrong. It's a bit of everything listed above and something more too!

You see, I'm very bored with my life these days. It's like I don't have a flame or passion inside me anymore. I've been feeling so very lethargic, and sulky, that it's as if I've shrunk myself into some sort of a cocoon.
And trust me - This isn't the real me!

Heck - I really need to shock myself out of this state I am in now. And for that - the US is the perfect place.
(As a matter of fact - any new place - where no one knows me and I don't know anyone - is the perfect place! US just happened. If it hadn't - It'd have been the UK!)

I've been told that in the US - no one gives a shit who you are and what you do. You can just be yourself and there will always be someone or the other who accepts you that way.
It's a place where you can "discover" the true you!
This is waaaaaaaaaaay in contrast to culture here in Cochin (and India in general) where everything is done (read as forced upon you!) in the name of family/traditions/values/etc.

So - as per me - USA sounds like my kindda town!

Anyways - whether I am correct or not - only time will tell. But till then, I am going to live in the hopes that I am correct and everything is going to work in my favor.
:)

And Pallu - FYI - I don't have to go all the way to US to get laid. Bangalore and Chennai were very [ahem] "opportunity laden" as well darling!!!
I'll leave the rest to your imaginations ....
;)

Favorite Dilaogue # 1

2008-12-09T17:38:00.003+05:30

"I run my unit how I run my unit. You want to investigate me, roll the dice and take your chances. I eat breakfast 300 yards from 4000 Cubans who are trained to kill me, so don't think for one second that you can come down here, flash your badge, and make me nervous."

- Col. Jessep (A Few Good Men)

ABCD - American Born Confused Desi

2008-12-07T21:50:00.003+05:30

Bored??? Wanna drool over some babes???
I've got just the right thing for you !!!

Babes Unlimited

For those who can't see the album above - click on the link - http://picasaweb.google.com/sharath.wipro/BabesUnlimited#

Why I Want To Go To The USA

2008-12-06T13:06:00.003+05:30

I was talking to my good friend Ravi about my H1B Visa and why I would like to go the USA. And as usual, a lot of myths and falsities came crashing. That is one thing that is really cool about talking to Ravi. He strips your arguments apart - bit by bit, blow by blow, and then makes you eat your own words.
:)

Thanks to this attitude and approach of his - we (Me, Pradhaan, Samir, Rajesh, Anbarasu, Abhiram, and Ravi) had a lot of fun and lengthy luncheon sessions when we all used to work together at Oracle.

Anyways ... Before I hit of on a tangential angle and start getting nostalgic - let me come back to the main track. After that discussion with Ravi, I was left wondering, why do I really want to go to the USA. The approach I'm gonna take here is that I will list out all the points as and when they come to my mind, and then try to take a dig at them on my own. If I am not able to undermine the justification - then it will stay on the list. Else - It gets kicked out from the list.

That way - the FINAL list will have every single "real" and "justified" reason why I wanna go to the USA.

I'll post the URL's to the next blog where I'll be listing these "points" and the critic reviews on the same. For now, I'm just too tired (thanks to a very bumpy Volvo bus ride from Chennai to Cochin). So - I wanna catch up on some sleep!

Ciao!!!

My Big Secret

2008-12-06T12:35:00.001+05:30

Okay ... So many of my friends have been asking me why I moved from Oracle to TCS. Some of them have even been "kind" enough to tell me that I was either
1. Stupid
2. Mad
3. Idiotic
4. Silly
5. Foolish
etc ... etc ... etc ...
(The list goes on and on and on ... and also becomes more and more [ahem] expletive laden ...)

to have done so!

I agree ... Especially with the reasons I gave them (wanting to move closer to home, missing my family, the career opportunities TCS had to offer, and some more Bullshit like that) for "why" I moved - Even I would've said just that.

On the contrary, the truth is far from that. And till two days back, I had no option but to kept it under really really tight wraps!

But, today, I'm going to spill the beans ...

Around 9 months back I had interviewed for a company by the name Collabera. They had offered to sponsor my H1B visa, and I had very graciously "agreed" to that. After a loooooooong and tiring wait - on Thursday, 4-Dec-2008, was D-Day - "My H1B Visa Interview" Day.

The experience of going for an H1B interview is unique and priceless - and I'm gonna write a separate blog about it. So, those of you lovely folks who aspire for it too can check out that other blog, the one that I plan to write soon, for more insights and tips on the H1B process.

So, now that the Cat's officially out of the bag - I declare before you - I Am An Official H1B Visa Holder!
(-=claps and whistles=-)

:)

And before you start asking the obvious question "When Am I Flying Out Of The Country" - let me answer it for you - "I Don't Know!!!"

With the global recession and US economy crashing, etc - Collabera has not given me a clear cut commitment on the travel dates/clients/projects yet. But, tentatively, they've asked me to be ready to fly out sometime between End of Feb to Mid of March.

So - for all practical purposes - that leaves me with a little over 3 months to meet up with all my friends, relatives and loved ones and say "Bye Bye!". Also, I wanna try and take as many fond memories as I can. Especially with the "No Returning To India For At least 18 Months" contract that I'll be signing with Collabera - I don't think I have a choice.

Anyways ... To all my lovely Friends out there reading this - I'm really sorry I didn't inform you folks about this earlier. I just didn't want to be on the receiving end of all that "sympathy" had I not been able to get the VISA!

To all you lovely readers - who don't really qualify as friends (yet) - Please do wish me luck. In these troubled times in the US - I hope I don't end up in more bullshit that I am already in!

For now - All I can think of is - "Yaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhoooooooooooooooooooooo!!!"

A Deft Reply

2008-11-16T00:27:00.002+05:30

I found this article about Things Women Hate About Men

The author - Meenakshi Shankar - has raised some questions here, which I - on behalf of my gender - will take a dig at:

.1. Ask you out, start a relationship with you, then ponder to their guy friends, "I'm not sure if she is my type!

There is always the "newness" element involved when we ask you out and start a relationship with you. But, over the course of time, we understand that you may/not have the "things" that we are looking for in our potential life partner. These "things" can be anything ranging from stuff like - "You don't give us breathing space" to "You're too controlling" to "You don't make me feel as special as I want to feel" all the way to "You suck in bed!"

I'm sure girls wouldn't understand the logic behind this simple thing. So, I'm gonna try and put in words/ideas that you folks can understand.

Now, assume that you buy a new red dress. Something reaaaaaaaaally sexy. Initially, you're all excited about it. You wanna wear it at every possible opportunity. Wear it to every function and get together ... But, over a period of time - you realize that this is probably not the "best fit" for you and that you have "other options" or you get "plain bored" with it.

Well ... I hope the message is loooooooooooud and clear now Sister!!!

.2. Think that there is something wrong about gay men, but lesbians they totally support

Gay Men is yucky ... Besides - If we were cool with it - you'd want us to/some guy to stick his dick into our/his ass ... THE MERE THOUGHT OF IT HURTS A LOT!!!

But lesbians - now that's cool. And heck - you don't have to stick anything anywhere!!! You just sit back and enjoy the show. Besides - the way I see it - what difference does it make if a guys eats ya out or a girl???

.3. Male chauvinism! We fail to understand why men can stop and ask for direction till its 50 odd kms into the wrong direction?! It’s always been a mystery why they will not stop and ask for directions!

We KNOW our way. If we get lost (rarest of rarest scenarios) - It's because the landmarks have changed. Period!!!

.4. Tells everyone that you are smothering them and that they are annoyed that you are always around. But the very second you get off work or are out with your friends for a change, your cell phone starts ringing off the hook and he's saying , "When are coming over. I miss you. I love you. Come back!

It's our way of being romantic ...
(Pssssssst ... When we say we miss you or we love you - We REALLY mean it!)

.5. Temporary amnesia! They remember the names of football and cricketers from some odd country, their scores, their entire career track but ask them about birthday’s or anniversaries and the scores each player has made, but cannot for the life them remember birthdays, anniversaries and buying gifts. What kind selective memory is that?

In our defense, Sometimes we do forget the cricketers/footballers scores or sometimes - we even get it all mixed up. No harm ever came out of that!
But, if we ever mix up a birthdays or forget an anniversary - We're screwed!!!
Grrrrrrrrrrrr ...

Besides, dates are for historians and archaeologists - Not us!

.6. Oh, they nod their head with aplomb when the topic veers towards gender equality! They are all for it! But, when it comes to pitching in with household chores suddenly, gender equality is an alien lingo!

We wouldn't even dream of "stealing" what you ladies so proudly prize - THE HOME!

Besides, when was the last time you let the guy do the house hold chores according to his wishes?
"Not so much detergent" ... "The Dhaal needs a dash more of salt and a tad more of oil" ... "You missed a spot" ... "Dry the pants inside out" ... etc ... etc ... etc ...

If you guys want us to do stuff your way - why don't you just do it yourselves???
After all - It's not THAT difficult???

.7. They categorize women into two types a cool type and a marriageable type. They love to hang around with the hip and happening babes, but when it comes to tying the knot, it’s a virgin bride all the way through! As the saying rightly goes, You can go to a restaurant and look at the menu card, but its home- cooked meal that completes you. And our men, seem to follow that saying to the T.

I'll be very very very honest (read as point blank) here. We like dating cool types - because the are fun to hang out with and easy to bed. Period!
And it is for this same and very reason we shy away from marrying them.

This is how our smart male brain thinks:

"If it was so easy for me to get her into bed - another guy would be able to do so too. What if that happens after marriage? Divorce!!! But, if I divorce her - she'll leave with half my wealth ... Grrrrrrrrr ... She sleeps with someone else - and I end up having to pay her for it too .... No fucking way I'm gonna let that happen. Hmmmmmmm ... what do I do now? Isn't it better to marry someone else - who's not so "easy" ... Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh yesssssssss .... That's the perfect answer to this problem ... I need to find myself a "marriageable types" girl .... Simple!!!"

I hope that answers your question on why we prefer marriageable types girls (read as virgins!) v/s the cool types girls (read as easy lays!)

.8. An absolute control over the remote control! There has to be some kind of deep seated relation to this, but it’s yet to be unearthed.

It's not because we love the remote so much, but, it's because we know if we leave it lying around - you'll end up watching all those dreaded "Saas-Bahu" soaps, and we'll have to watch that crap as well!

Besides, watching stuff like Financial news, Stock Market, Sports, Music Videos is much better than watching the silly junk you folks fantasize!

.9. Strutting around like a peacock! Ugggh ... that’s a no no! Agreed that they are handy when it comes to fixing a loose wire or tightening the nuts and bolts, but constantly stroking their feathers on that count weighs us down.

Yeah right ... you expect us to do all the "risky" and "dangerous" work and not strut around, but you can make one good tasty "Chicken Tikka Masala" and boast about it to every one on the planet for as long as you live - and that's perfectly normal.

Hippocratic to the core!!!

.10. Not that there is anything wrong with looking (we also like to look!), but someone ought to teach the boys the fine art of looking! There is a very fine line between ogling and looking. And somehow, our boys think its all one and the same!

We believe in being honest and that's what we've been taught right from Day # 1. You girls on the other hand are all about stealth
(I prefer to call it Sly - but stealth will do for now!)

Okay ... Bullshit apart - we also know "how to" sneak a peek. And when it slips to ogling - it's because the chick is so damn hot!!!
(Come on ... Think about it ... When you see a good looking chick with big tits and a round ass - who the heck cares about decency and diplomacy!!!)

Movie Review - Quantum of Solace

2008-11-10T00:35:00.002+05:30

There is always a lot of hype around Bond movies. And although I didn't like Daniel Craig playing James Bond that much, my curiosity got the better of me, and so, I decided to watch Quantum of Solace.

To be honest, I was enjoying my weekly body massage (you guys should take one too. It's so damn relaxing!!!) when I realized that I was running late for the show. So, I had to ask my masseur to cut short the massage by 30 odd mins (generally it lasts about 1 hour) and rushed to the theater to catch the show.

To cut a long story short - I am VERY disappointed!!!

This movie is the only Bond movie I've seen (I've seen em all btw. Right from the Roger Moore starers all the way to Daniel Craig) where I was constantly looking at my watch and thinking about Popcorn and Pepsi refills and wondering when this movie would end - than looking at the events on screen!

I'm going to be "in-your-face" honest here. The main things I like about bond movies are:
1. The hot girls
2. How he gets them into bed
3. The Cool Gadget
4. The "Dream" Cars
5. The Action
6. The "Save The World" plot

Well, to put it this way, this James Bond movie doesn't have any of them!

The girl in this movie - Olga Kurylenko - is a little short of disappointing. "Seriously James ... She doesn't turn me on - how the fuck did she turn you on??? But, hey, that explains why you didn't sleep with her!!!"

Generally, Bond girls are "Ultra Glamorous" personified. Sophie Marceau, Rosamund Pike, Famke Janssen, Izabella Scorupco, Serena Scott Thomas, Hally Berry, Jane Seymour, Dennis Richards, etc to name a few.

Olga Kurylenko on the other hand - she comes no where near that image. Firstly, she doesn't have a single shot in the movie where she is dressed in something "nice and sexy". Secondly, she sports this nasty little burn scar on her back that really really makes you wanna puke! Third, she doesn't have any "assets". For those of you who didn't get it - ASSETS = ASS AND TITS!
Seriously, she's got really really small tits. And her ass is pretty much non existent!

It's always a pleasure to see Bond get women into bed. To be honest - I try to watch those sequences over and over again to see if there is something I can "learn" from it. But, in QoS - there weren't any (except for one silly little excuse for it!).

Bond's watch is the most kick ass gadget he carries. From shooting laser beams to deploying a high tension wire inside of it - it does a lot of other things besides telling the time! In this movie. His watch is a dud. The only gadget he uses his Gun. And it does what every gun does - Shoot (Duh!)

There are no damn cars in this movie. The only fight sequence from inside "vehicles" was one in the air where Bond pilots a run down Cargo aircraft and picks a bone with a Fighter Aircraft (Of course - he comes out as a champion. But, yaaaaaaaaawn, wasn't that obvious!)

This is the only section where Daniel Craig stages a win over other Bond actors. This guy has a macho body and his punches does pack a walla. But, hey, James Bond is supposed to be a Super Spy, not a street boxer!
But anyways, to give QoS some credit, the fight sequences is the only thing that *might* save you from sleeping off through the movie!

The plot in this movie is complete crap. Bond wants to avenge the people who made his girlfriend kill herself, and Olga wants to kill some general who raped her sister and mother ages ago!

What I fail to understand is - How can she Vesper be HIS girlfriend - when "technically" she was already seeing someone else, and was doing all the espionage stuff to save her "other" boyfriend. And besides - who the heck kills themselves (and that too by drowning themself!) these days to save their loved ones? I bought that load of crap in the Harry Potter series (Alice sacrifices herself for Harry). But, in a James Bond movie ... I don't think so!!!

Anyways, another thing I noticed was, in QoS, they flashed a woman's pussy (This happens in the last 20 odd mins off the movie. When the General is about to rape some girl and Olga barges into the room with a gun!). I really don't know why they had to show that though. The sequence could've done well without it. None of the earlier movies even dared to show the woman's nipple. But here ...

I guess the director wanted to give the viewers some "Value For Money"!

On the whole, this is one seriously avoidable movie. And if any one of you haven't watched the movie yet - DON'T BOTHER. You won't be missing anything!!!

Busy ... Busy ... Busy ...

2008-11-08T01:21:00.002+05:30

Life's been a blur off late - Especially with the new project at work (which I don't like btw!), gym sessions (I've lost 6 kilos in the last 1 month!), and my business (making money was never so much fun!) - I'd be surprised if it wasn't!!!

But, thanks to this uber hectic schedule, I've had to give up a few of my earthly pleasures ... Like catching a movie, playing a game, going on a trip, exploring the city a little bit, etc.

Talking about movies, I've been wanting to check out a few of them (actually quite a few of them) - Especially the following:

.1. Hello
.2. Singh is King
.3. Fashion
.4. Kurukshetra
.5. Twenty - Twenty
.6. Quantum of Solace
.7. Shawshank Redemption

If anyone can lend me the DVD's of any of these movies - please please please do so. I'll make it worth your while (CCD ... Beer ...)

Also, I need to catch up on some reading. Correction ... I have a huge backlog of books that I need to complete reading.

Well ... I guess it's time to bring out my planner and block 1 hour per day for some quality "Me" time (Now where's that goddamn planner when you need it #$@#$#@$#@$)

Till laterz then ....

I Sting Like A Bee

2008-11-03T23:13:00.003+05:30

There is this colleague of mine at my employers'. To sum him up in 3 words - "Moronic, Hyper-vacillate, Lazy".

Seriously ... That's what he is. Or at least - that's my opinion!

Every single day I find him hyper vacillating over the silliest things. And the way he talks about his "workload" would bring tears to Ramadorai's eyes!
(Heck - I think even Hitler might cry!!!)

And what I find really silly and moronic about him is the fact that he doesn't want to get his concepts right. For example - if we are given a bug to fix - all he wants is to do something blindly in the hopes that it will work, instead of taking a scientific approach to it!
(Trust me when I say - I've seen one too many incidents to be "mistaken")

And to tell you about how lazy he is - ohhhhhhhhh myyyyyyyyyyy gaaaaaaaaawd!!! He is as lazy as a sloth.

But, justice be done, his best talent is his ability to projects himself as "Super Man". He portrays himself as Einstein and his work as Rocket Science so damn well that people other than me (I know the "real facts" cause I work in the same bloody project!) think he is super smart.

And you know what - that "sells" at my current employers'. All you need to create is a hype and brouhaha about how much work your onsite PL is offloading onto your shoulder - and voila the folks around you automatically start worshiping you!

All these things said and done - he has one nasty habbit. He tends to stay late at work, and because of this - the little git doesn't like others going home early.
(To be more specific - He doesn't like ME heading for home at 7 PM!)

For the last couple of weeks I've been keeping quiet. After all he has more experience in the product - and the team in general - than me, and hence, I would definitely need his help to survive! So, I can't afford to pick up a fight with him.

But today, the little bastard got it left-right-top-and-bottom from me.

I don't know whether it was because I was very tired and irritable per se, or was it because I had intimated my manager that I wanted a release so that I can explore a move into a Sales and Marketing role that I might be offered (in another project i.e.), or was it simply cause - I was dying to give him a dressing down!

To explain in very brief what happened today - I pulled him into a conference room and told him "Dude ... You mind your business and I'll mind mine ... I know when to come and when to leave office ... If the manager or PL has a problem with that - let THEM ask me and I will explain to them. The last thing I want is YOU TO TELL ME what time I should come and leave or how I should do my work! Are we clear on this!!!"

Of course - it was not the most diplomatic of things to do (and I know it's even less diplomatic to write about that incident on my blog) - but what the heck ... He was asking for it!
(I must confess - It felt good!!!)

Tomorrow - when I get back to work - I am sure I can look forward to some trouble.
Knowing him - I am pretty sure he would've done some complaining, or at the very least some behind-my-back-politics that will ensure that I have some "answering" to do to my PL and managers!

Well all I can say is :

Two can play at that game!!!

:D

A Compliment Or Pure Perversion

2008-11-02T13:28:00.001+05:30

I was watching this show on NDTV about "Emotional Infidelity" when one of the guests - Vir Das (Of Mumbai Salsa fame) - made a really cute statement:
"Women have platonic male friends ... Men have women they haven't slept with yet!"

I'm pretty sure all you women readers would be fuming right now. But, hey, accept it - THIS IS A FACT.

How much ever you trust, like (maybe even love!) and confide in us - at some point or the other - we've thought of you naked ... We've thought of making out with you ... We've thought of having sex with you ... Heck - In the process - We've probably even jerked off a few times!!!

I don't know why you women think of this as a crime worthy of crucification. The way I see it - at the very least - It's a flattering compliment!!!

Just think about it - If we men didn't think you were hot and worthy of our attention - we wouldn't think up all these "impish thoughts" would we?
(I know you girls prefer to user the terms lewd, and sexist, and cheap. But hey, this is my blog and I'm gonna use words I want!)
:P

And don't for a second think we don't know why you're making such a big deal of this. It's really simple you see. Women equate "anything sexual" to "marriage" and "commitment" (yucky!!!!).

The second you make out with a guy - you're already thinking of the flowers that'll be there at your marriage, what the wedding cards will look like, who all will come for the marriage, etc ...

But, in our case - the difference is - we stop with the sex!!!
We haven't thought of marriage ... Neither have we thought of how many kids we want ... Heck - We haven't even thought of whether/not to sleep with you the very next night!
(unless you were a damn good fuck!)

I found this very well written blog about a woman's insight into this whole thing. Do make it a point to read it so that you get a well rounded perspective of what both warring faction have to say.

Now if you ask me who is guilty party here - It's similar to asking "What Came First - The Chicken Or The Egg".
So, in conclusion I'd like to quote the title of a book I plan to read over the next couple of weeks
"Men Are From Mars ... And Women Are From Venus"

Halloween

2008-11-02T03:02:00.003+05:30

I siphoned these halloween pictures off a blog I follow

I just had to share it with ya'll ...
:)

For The Guys

For The Girls

For The Freaks

A Taste Of Failure

2008-11-02T02:24:00.002+05:30

So .... It's happened. For the first time in my professional life - I have failed to deliver on a commitment. And you know what - I don't give a damn!

I don't know why there is such an attitude of indifference.

- Maybe it's my defense mechanisms kicking into high gear ...

- Maybe I'm being very arrogant - because I already have a couple of offers letters with me ...

- Maybe I'm hoping that I will be able to go back to Oracle if I don't like it here ...

- Maybe I'm confident that even if I nothing works out - I'll still be able to do my freelancing business and make a decent living out of it ...

- Maybe I am just hoping that a couple of months down the road I wont be working for my current employer anymore ...

- Maybe I don't care that much about growing in my career anymore ...

- Maybe I'm willing to risk giving up my job to follow my dream of being an entrepreneur ...

That's a loooooooooooooot of Maybe's don't you think ... But, honestly, I don't know which one of these it is!!!

Well, one thing is for sure. Come Monday, there are going to be a lot of pissed managers and they're going to hold "Root Cause Analysis" meetings. So, I better come up with a diplomatic and very technically sound justifications (read as bullshit) by then.

God Help Me!!!

Mission Impossible - Just Became Possible

2008-11-02T02:19:00.001+05:30

It's unbelievable. I never thought I would live to see this day. But you know what - it's happened.

Oh ... For those of you nice gentleman and hot ladies (Pallu that means you!!!) - I am referring to my bank balance.

For the last 3.5 years that I've been earning, I've never seen my Bank Account grow over 45K - and that too it happens only at the start of the month (now you know how much I make!!!). And generally, by the mid of the month, by some sort of "black magic", this number automatically goes down to anything between 4K - 9K. And by the last week, I'm pretty much left scrounging for pennies!

But, this month, I was totally happy when I saw that finalllllllllllllllllllllllllllly - I touched a 6 figure account balance!

Yahooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ...

Now people ... Please don't jinx me or put an evil eye on me. Puhlessssssssssssssssssssss let me enjoy my thunder for as long as it lasts.
:)

Anyways ... To be honest, I know that my thunder isn't going to last very long, and that this account balance is soon going to dissipate into thin air!
Hey ... With all the Rent, Household bills, Education loans, Personal Loans, Petrol Costs, Building Maintainace bills to pay - I'll be lucky if I end up 20K by the end of the month.
Why can't people just give stuff away and not ask for any money in return???

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr ... I hate bills!!!

:D

Heart Break Hotel

2008-10-30T01:05:00.003+05:30

A few nights ago, I had this reaaaaaaally weirdo dream.
That I met some girl (who was totally cute and hot btw!)... And I fell in love with her ... And she was in love with me ... And things were going good between us ... and then finally - one fine day - she just stops loving me back!

And you know what ... In my dreams i.e. ... I felt totally heartbroken. I can't remember whether I was crying or not in it though!
(even if I did - do you think the "awake" me would tell you I was crying over a girl!!!)

But, the point is - the pain felt so real ... Come to think about it - It's been 3 days since that dream, and the pain is still so frigging vivid in my mind ...

I remember my Mom (or was it from some old Mallu movie) telling me that the dreams that you see at dawn tend to come real. And true to that fact - I remember a few of the dreams that I have had around that time come true ...
(Déjà Vu anyone?)

Grrrrrrrrr ... I am not all that superstitious ... But - I seriously seriously seriously don't want this one to come true!!!
Really ... The last thing I want to be is HEARTBROKEN!!!
:(

But - Thanks to this dream of mine - Now I know how a few people who I [ahem] "know" must've felt at [ahem] one point in [ahem ahem] my/their past!!!

All I can say is - Sorry!!!

Finally - Saw A Superbike In Cochin

2008-10-30T01:03:00.002+05:30

Finally, I saw a super bike on the streets yesterday.

It was a really old Yamaha one (I couldn't make out which model though). Some hotshot with his girlfriend were burning up the tarmac. And not be to lessened, I tried to race with him. Of course, I lost. But, I would say that's 'cause of my mom (who was my pillion btw).
Oh forgot to mention ... Mom and I had gone for a movie. But thanks to the fact that we were 30 minutes late for the show - we were returning home disappointed - when I caught up with Mr. Super bike.

Trying to race with him made my day, but mom was clearly freaking out. The last thing I wanted was to give the sweet old lady a heart attack.
:)

So - Mr. Super bike ... Next time - If things are a lot more conducive - You're On Mate!!!

Stuck In The Lift!!!

2008-10-30T00:59:00.000+05:30

Today, I got stuck in the lift in the apartment. I was heading home on the way back from the gym, and the power dissapears - and voila - I find myself stuck in the lift.

Most people panic when they get stuck in the lift. But not me ... You wanna know WHY?
It's pretty simple actually. It happens to me allllllllll the time.

If I remember right - the first time I got caught in a lift was at my Oracle office (Prestige Blue Chip) about a year odd back.
And to be honest (although I will never accept it in public!) I did "freak out" a teenie-weenie bit.

Then, 6 months later, I got stuck in the lift at my new Oracle office (Prestige Tech Park).

3 weeks ago, I got stuck in the lift at my gym building (I hit Talwakars btw)

And today, my own apartments.

So, you see, I'm not new to getting stuck.
So, all you monkeys who were picturing me screaming "Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelp" on top of my voice - DREAM ON!!!
:P

Another Babe Is Officially Off The Market

2008-10-02T00:49:00.010+05:30

Removing this blog entry as Pallu thinks that Swapna's husband "might" not approve of it!

Why take 'pangaa' uneccesarily with some guy ... Right Pallu?
;)

My Heartfelt Apologies

2008-10-02T00:40:00.001+05:30

Sorry guys and girls!!!
I reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally mean it ...

I know I haven't written any blogs in a while. (A quick check tells me that my last post was on 17-Sept-2008).
But, hey, I've been busy as hell.

Finally, I've been alloted to a decent project (atleast that's what I am led to believe ... So far atleast!) at my work. I can't talk about the client and the nature of my project for obvious reasons (read as thanks to an NDA with the client!).
And over and above that, I've been trying my hand at Freelancing. And I must say - I just looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove it. The work is mind blowing. I learnt a loooooooooooot of stuff about sales and marketing, pitching in front of customers, cold calling, preparing bids, etc - and all this in the last 3 weeks alone!
And guess what - I even made a neat $100 for my efforts. I know it aint much compared to what I make at my employers - but, hey - the experience alone is worth a million bucks.

Anyways, enough ranting about all that. Lets get back to the matter at hand... Now, everything seems to have settled, and so, once again, I am left with some spare time on my hands. So, it's back to my blogging days.

And for those who bore with me through my "cribbing about my new employer all the time" phase - thanks. I promise, the upcoming blogs wont be so boring (or whiny for that matter!).
:D

But, hey - if you think I'm done writing about my employer and their cheapskate tactics - your mistaken. There is a loooooooooooooooooooooot of stuff I wanna let the world know about em!!!
;)

Marketing - Lesson 101

2008-09-17T11:57:00.001+05:30

I found this mail forward hilarious to the core. So, I decided to post it here!

====================================================================================================================================
A Professor at one of the IIM's ( INDIA ) was explaining marketing concepts to the Students:-

1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and
say: "I am very rich. Marry me!"
- That's Direct Marketing

2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl.
One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says: "He's very rich. Marry him."
- That's Advertising

3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her
telephone number. The next day, you call and say: "Hi, I'm very rich.. Marry me."
- That's Telemarketing

4. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten
your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the
door (of the car)for her, pick up her bag after she drops it,
offer her ride and then say: By the way, I'm rich. Will you marry me?"
- That's Public Relations

5. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and
says: You are very rich! Can you marry ! me?"
- That's Brand Recognition

6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say:
I am very rich. Marry me!" She gives you a nice hard slap on your face.
- That's Customer Feedback

7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say:
"I am very rich. Marry me!" And she introduces you to her husband.
- That's demand and supply gap

8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say
anything, another person come and tell her: "I'm rich. Will you marry me?"
and she goes with him.
- That's competition eating into your market share

9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before
you say: "I'm rich, Marry me!" your wife arrives.
- That's restriction for entering new markets
====================================================================================================================================

Pallavi's Marriage Reception

2008-09-09T10:57:00.000+05:30

Unfortunately, I woke up late (11.30 am to the exact) and I missed Pallu's marriage. So, I went for the reception instead.

Pallu was looking red hot in her designer Sari ... Vivek looked equally handsome (Stud like even!) ... On the whole - they make a sweet pair.

WISHING YOU TWO ALL THE VERY BEST FOR THE FUTURE!!!

Crap ... I got carried away ... AGAIN!!!
The main reason for me writing this blog was not to congratulate Pallu and Vivek, but to discuss about a Himalayan blunder of mine - My Dressing Sense!

Well ... I'll be honest with you guys - I am not very good at dressing for an occasion. (Guys who know me would be shaking their heads right now!!!)
I just pick up whatever is right on top of my clothes pile and voila - I'm ready for any occasion - be it a party, or office, or the gym!

With the same approach, I went for Pallu's reception. FYI - I was wearing a really faded orange "Tommy Hilfiger" shirt and rugged and worn-out Black "Ecko" cargoes. To give myself some credit, I am most comfortable in cargoes and a loose shirt, and that's why I decided to go ahead with it.

But, when I reached the destination (Hotel Renaissance), the magnitude of my folly hit me like a rock!

This was a function organized by a rich doctor. All the people who had come there were bigwigs in one way or the other. And besides - this was more of a formal occasion.

Everyone was dressed tip-top in the most expensive stuff money could buy. And there I was - in my silly little outfit - sticking out like a sore thumb.

Pallu ... Just so that you know - That was one of the main reasons I bailed out at the earliest opportunity. Sorry about that darling!
:(

I'll tell you what - the next big function that you organize (naming ceremony of your triplets!) - I'll come dressed like a king. Deal?
:)

Pallavi's Doppelgänger

2008-09-09T10:47:00.001+05:30

Me, Faaiz, Daniella, and her boyfriend Tariq had gone over to Pallavi's paternal grandparents house for a function on Friday (05-Sept-2008). And that's where I saw Pallavi Doppelgänger.

Seriously, that's the only term that would do justice to the person I saw that day. Pallavi, wearing Sari, pretending to be this "ayoo-paavamm" types person, all shy, obedient ... I could go on and on - but - you get the general idea don't you!
Heck, this doppelgänger even ushered us out when we mentioned the words party (or was it booze?).

This is sooooooooooooooooooooooooo not the Pallavi I know!
Honestly, it was hillarious, and at the same time scary!
:D

A few other things that I looked forward to - when I went for the function - is meeting some good looking girls (which btw pallavi had promised would be there!). And guess what - the only "ladies" that I saw at the function were 50 year old Aunties or 15 year old Kids.
:(

(Pallavi, I'm going to break your leg for this treachery!)

But, this blog wouldn't be complete without describing how gorgeous Pallu looked in Sari. Seriously ... Although it was a culture shock for me to see Pallu in a saree, she totally carried it off. I don't know whether it was the saree (which looked totally expensive btw) or it was Pallu's charisma - but together - they rocked!!!

And yeah ... Before I forget - One more thing I realized that day is that Pallu is filthy rich, and that her dad has really influential friends!!!
(That was pretty evident from the size of her house, and the host of Mercedes Benz E series cars, Audi A-8's, Scoda Superb's and Honda Accord's lined up outside Pallu's house that night. I noticed bigwigs like Riyaz Ahamed - Owner of the Abad Group of Industries - were also part of the guest list that night.)

Vivek you lucky bastard ... You got a hot wife and a father in-law that's rich and influential ... What more could you ask for mate!!!
:)

Visual Ecstasy

2008-09-06T15:39:00.002+05:30

Here are a few links I think you guys (and lesbian girls) might enjoy ...
It's from some Chineese bloggers website (And so I took the liberty of running it via Google Translator). I don't recall how i ended up there, but this guy seems to have a Photograph Fetish. But hey - Don't get me wrong - I definitely ain't complaining!!!
I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE what I see there ...

;)

1. One

2. Two

3. Three

4. Four

5. Five

6. Six

7. Seven

Being On This Team Is Expensive

2008-09-03T23:28:00.000+05:30

As you already know, I recently shifted organizations. And the team that I joined is not exactly the most friendly, or warm, or even helpful for that matter, of the numerous teams I've worked with in my 3.5 years of work life.

And guess what? Today, one guy asks me to come over to his desk and then tells me that 3 people are getting married in the team (1 fellow has already left the organization) and they've got them gift vouchers, and I have to chip in too. Okay ... So far so good. I've chipped in for parties, and gifts in the past too. "Heck - I might even be able use this opportunity to break the ice" I thought to myself.

But, when he told me the "Chip In" component was Rs. 875/- I wasn't very enthused about the whole deal. I mean come on ... Would you spend 875 bucks to pay for gifts you didn't have any say on (I wasn't even informed of the whole idea of getting gifts for the soon-to-be-married-fellas), and that too for people who's last name you don't know. And with any luck - I'll be released from this team in another one/two weeks time. That makes it even less attractive for me to pay up such a high premium in the name of compliance!

Well ... Heck - I don't want to break the ice that badly ... Not at this price tag anyways!!!

I spoke to mom and dad about this incident. Dad, told me to just pay up and get it over with.
Mom, was in two minds - half of her wanting to avoid any sort of conflict at work, and the other half not wanting to part with so much money!

Well ... At the end of the day - It still is my decision. And as of now (11.29 PM on 1-Aug-2008), my decision is NOT to pay up!!!

In the rarest of cases that I change my mind - I'll let you folks know for sure!

A Fishing Expedition

2008-09-03T23:27:00.001+05:30

I went fishing during my recent Kumarakom trip. That to me was the highlight of the trip. Correction - That to me was the only highlight of the trip!

After spending about 1.5 hrs "trying" - I finally caught the slippery little bastard. A yellow coloured fish - I can't recall what species it was - but who cares, it's a "catch" nevertheless.

The experience was a lot of fun I must say. I look forward to doing it again sometime soon.
(Anyone interested in joining me - drop me a call)

Where Did They All Go

2008-09-03T23:25:00.000+05:30

Thanks to hanging out with my best friend Chery, I got a chance to view the "Illegal Street Racing" community in Bangalore up close and firsthand. And take my word for it - things will never be the same again for me. I spent each of my Saturday nights living life "The Fast and Furious" style. The rest of the week I spent anticipating the upcoming Saturday night.

But, after coming to Cochin, I haven't seen a modified car - let alone a race car. And slowly, the reality is sinking in - That Cochin doesn't have an "Underground" crowd.
Honestly - I'm beginning to miss the adrenaline rush that you get whilst racing (Heck - I think I might be addicted to it!). So much, that I'm thinking (more like planning) a trip to Bangalore so that I go Drag Racing again.

Chery - next time I'm in Bangalore - you're going to have to take me out on a "Drag Night". And I'm not taking "No" for an answer.
(Read as I don't care if you've got "Other Plans" for the evening with a certain "Special Friend" of yours!)

;)

Life is (Not) Beautiful

2008-09-03T23:19:00.000+05:30

Of late, my life has been pretty dull. I don't step out of home for anything. Partly because there is no place to go, and the remainder because there is no one to go anywhere with.

So, to cut a long story short, I'm in a self imposed house arrest.

With any luck, the tides will turn soon, and I will once again go back to my "rocking" self!
;)

Does Being An NRI Come With Extra Baggages

2008-09-03T23:17:00.000+05:30

I wonder ... Does being an NRI come with extra baggages? For example stuff like - Staying only at 5 star hotels and resorts, Splurging on exotic overseas holidays every now and then, Drinking only Mineral Water, Flexing your financial muscle in front of others, Buying a luxury sedan/SUV and then bragging to everyone about your car having a bright-green neon headlight that no one else has, Acting as if the rest of the world is from Somalia while your from the Big Apple, etc, etc, etc.

Or is it just that you get so used to the luxuries that your NRI salary can afford - that you can't dream of living without them?

I ain't one today, so I don't know for sure. But, someday, I will be. And when that day arrives - I hope to find out!!!

What Does It Mean When A Girl Says

2008-09-03T23:16:00.003+05:30

What does a girl mean when she says - "I like you a lot ... I just loooooooooooooooooove talking with/being around you ..."

Does it mean - "Take the next step and make advances on me you fool ... Can't you see I'm giving you the green signal!!!"

Or does it - "I see where you are going with all this. But, I just want to be friends with you. So, I'm giving you all this gyaan to thwart your further steps!!!"

Or does it not mean anything in specific???

I'm very confused!!!
:(

If any of you readers are women - Please help me interpret the statements above will ya.
After all - as the wise say - "It Takes A Woman To Understand Another Woman!"

Thanks in advance darlings ... I'll owe you one!!!

My Bike Aint Running On Petrol - It's Drinking It

2008-09-03T23:16:00.001+05:30

One of the primary reasons I decided to buy my bike - A Hero Honda Glamour - is because I read reviews that it gave a mileage of around 70 km/ltr. But, boy was I mistaken. It never gave me that much mileage - although I must say - In the start I used to get around 50 km/ltr - 55 km/ltr depending on my driving style/traffic conditions.

But, off late, I've only been getting 25 km/ltr - 30 km/ltr, and that plain sucks!
I understand I don't always drive at 40 km/hr, but 30 km/ltr??? Even a Karizma gives more mileage than that!!!
:(

Anyways ... I'm gonna stick around with her for a few more months - and then I'll auction off the junk!

Anyone interested in buying a Hero Honda Glamour real cheap - Drop me a mail/scrap/msg/ping/comment ... I accept Paypal, Credit Card, Bank Transfer, Cheques, Demand Drafts, Money Order, Stock Options, etc ...
(In short - I accept anything except and "I-Owe-You")

;)

25th Wedding Anniversary

2008-09-03T23:15:00.003+05:30

It's my parents 25th Wedding Anniversary today (28-Aug-2008), and we're celebrating it in style. The whole family is getting together for the event. It's going to be so much fun.
:)

The plans are, at the moment atleast, to head over to the "Abad Whispering Palms" resort at Kumarakom around 5 pm and spend the time relaxing. Tomorrow, we'll be spending the day in a house boat sailing through the backwaters of Kumarakom. In the evening, we'll crash on luxury houseboat anchored somewhere near the coast.

I know ... I don't sound so ultra eager about the whole deal. This is for two reasons ... Okay - make that three:

1. Me and my bro are the only two singles on board the ship. And the whole idea of this trip is romance. My parents, cousins and relatives who are coming along with us on this trip are all equipped to romance (read as they're married and hence have a partners!), whereas me and Appu (that's my bro) will be stuck for 2 days surrounded by miles and miles of water!

2. The second USP of the whole boating fiasco is the opportunity to get drunk. But, unfortunately for me, my parents, my Valliamma (Mom's Eldest Sister) and family, and Ravi Etta's (My first cousin - Valliamma son) In-Laws are also joining us for the trip. I can't afford to drink in front of them! My Mom and Valliamma and Valliachha (Valliamma's husband) would screw my happiness for the rest of my living days if I did that! So, rule that option out as well!

3. It's too much water for me. Seriously, I prefer land activities to doing stuff on water. And, if I want to be surrounded by water - I'd dive into a swimming pool than be stuck at sea. Thank you very much!

So, to sum it up - I can't fuck anyone, nor can I get drunk, and the thought that the nearest island is a good 30 miles away is "Not So Very Comforting".

HOW FUCKING WONDERFUL!!!

But, Mom and Dad seemed very excited about the whole idea of the whole family getting together (and the romantic element a whole day of boating offered too) as did Ravi Etta. So, I didn't want to be a party pooper (I hate myself for being so soft!) and decided to play along.

So, friends - When I get back - If you don't find any further posts about my Kumarkom trip - You'll understand right!
(For those who are not so understanding - Go Stuff Yourselves!)

Most Gorgeous Bond Girl

2008-09-03T23:15:00.001+05:30

No doubt about it - Jane Seymour of "Live and Let Die" fame is the most good looking Bond Girl to date. Just google for her and you'll agree with me!

The Name's Bond .... James Bond ... Dishkkuuummmmm

2008-09-03T23:14:00.003+05:30

I have a DVD collection of all the James Bond movies released so far. I caught on to the James Bond fever post the release of the movie "Die Another Day". Unfortunately though, I haven't gotten the time to watch any of them. That's to a relaxed work load at my new employer, I've been catching up on all the movies I can.

I saw these movies over the last couple of days:
1. Licence To Kill
2. The Living Daylights
3. From Russia With Love
4. Diamons are Forever
5. Goldfinger

None of the movies are as hi-tech or engrossing as the Pierce Brosnan starrers. But, to give them some credit, they were technological masterpieces of their own era.

Of all the actors who've played James Bond (Timothy Dalton, Roger Moore, Sean Connery, Pierce Brosnan, Daniel Craig) I think Sean Connery is the best fit. He's got a flamboyant mix of looks, style, charm, charisma and toughness. In short - he's got what James Bond's got!

Anyways ... I wanna try and catch another James Bond flick - "Live and Let Die" starring Roger Moore - before I hit the sack tonight.

So - to the rest of the world - Good Night ... Sweet Dreams!!!

I'm Totally Tripping On This Stuff

2008-09-03T23:14:00.001+05:30

I just wanted to drop a post here to say that the stuff mentioned in the book "The Game" (Neil Strauss) works. I tried one of the stunts mentioned in it - and the results were mind blowing. I wont go into the details here (for privacy reasons ofcourse) - but just TRUST ME on this one!!!

I'd gonna read, read it again, and then re-read it once more. Heck - I'm even going to take notes from now on.

And oh - I any of you gals (yes ... just the gurlz!) notice any major/sudden "differences" in me - well - that's what the whole deal is all about honey!
;)

So - Let me get back to my Learning Lessons ... I meant Reading Sessions ... Yaaaaahoooooooooooooooo!!!

Movie Review - Tare Zameen Par

2008-09-03T23:13:00.002+05:30

Finally, I got to watch Tare Zameen Par today (24-Aug-08). And I must say - it's worth the wait. The movie cries out that its a Aamir Khan movie all throughtout. It's that perfect.

Rock Solid Script, Spectacular Screenplay, Mind-Blowing Acting, Scintillating Music, Touching Background Scores, A Very Touching Topic - The pefect formula for a perfect movie.

All I can say here is - I just looooooooooooooooooooooooved the movie. I would even dare to say it's one of the best movies I've seen to date.

On a scale of 1 to 5 - I rate this movie a perfect 5.
:)

Hats off to you Aamir Khan ... Hats off!!!

Food For Thought

2008-09-03T23:13:00.001+05:30

After I saw the movie Bachna Ae Haseeno, two questions popped into my mind:

(((1))) Why are men always so afraid of commitment, whereas women like to commit?

(((2))) If we've broken anyone's heart (read as split in a nasty fashion, dumped someone, broke up impromptu, cheated, etc) - and the wrong was (primarily) from our end - Should we apoligize to them?

For Point # 1, I have no clue. Being a man myself who has a morbid fear of commitment - however small or big it be - I don't think I am the right person to comment on this. But, what the heck, I'll take a shot in the dark.
What I believe to be the reasons for my fear of commitment are - The fear of allowing someone else to decide things for you. The fear of having to live up to someone elses expectations. The fear of monotony. The fear of having to do things to keep someone else - other than you - happy and smiling. The fear of waking up to the same person forever. The fear of having to share even when you dont want to. The fear of rules. The fear of 'One'gina!

In Short - The Fear Of Loosing Control Over My Life!!!

I'm sure many guys think like me. For those who don't - Wish You A Happy Married Life!!!
;)

As for Point # 2, the more I think about it - the more I think you should apologize if you've broken anyone's heart in the past. Ofcourse you had your reasons why you did it. Maybe you were plain scared. Maybe you were angry. Maybe you were taking revenge. But whatever it be - It doesn't hurt to say Sorry does it?

For now, I'm gonna go back and ponder if I've hurt anyone till date. If yes - I'm gonna go ahead and apologize to them right away ...

Till then - Adieus Amigos!

Credit Card Reviews

2008-09-03T23:12:00.000+05:30

Over the last 3 years, I've used a lot of credit cards. This, unfortunately, goes to show that I have poor financial planning. But, these days, I am waaaaaaaaaaaay better off in terms of my money management skills. So well wishers - relax. I wont come knocking at your doors asking you to bail me out of my debt crisis!
;)

I'm gonna take this opportunity to talk about the pros and cons of the cards I've used so far.

~~~~~~~~~
Manhattan
~~~~~~~~~

Pros:
.1. It comes with a 1 year free "Manhattan Club Membership". This membership entails you to a lot of smooth and saucy offers. Like invites to Page 3 events, hassle-free booking of Movie Tickets - and that too on the opening day, good offers, etc.
.2. Balance Transferring on this card is a joy. Unlike other credit card companies, Manhattan assigns a new account number to your Balance Transfer requests. Therefore, you can shop on your card while you still have a balance transfer ongoing with them. When you make the payment - you get to specify how much percentage of the amount being paid goes to which account.
.3. Manhattan Credit Card Bill Payment Drop Boxes were scattered across the city. Also, one could drop the cheques at Standard Chartered ATM's. Ergo, repayment dues was a hassle free process.

Cons:
.1. My credit limit was pretty low - only Rs. 15,000/-. So, I found it inconvenient when I wanted to use my credit card for transactions of a larger value.
.2. After the first year, one has to pay Rs. 750/- if you want to continue the "Manhattan Club Membership".

~~~~~~~~~~~
HDFC Silver
~~~~~~~~~~~

Pros:
.1. Petrol Surcharge waivered at HP petrol pumps.

Cons:
.1. Credit Limit was lower still - only Rs. 20,000/-. So, I found it inconvenient when I wanted to use my credit card for transactions of a larger value.
.2. No special offers, nor discounts, etc offered on this card.

~~~~~~~~~
HSBC Gold
~~~~~~~~~

Pros:
.1. Prompt and very friendly customer service.
.2. Give a lot of importance to customer having a "Wonderful Experience".
.3. A grace period of 2 - 3 days permitted for Credit card repayment.
.4. 0 % Interest Balance transfer option available.
.5. Customer Service also features a feature loaded IVR system. This avoids the need to wait for a Customer Service Representative to be available.
.6. Online Banking available.
.7. Attractive gifts available while redeeming Reward Points.

Cons:
.1. Credit Limit is not enhanced even if the customer is a long standing one.
.2. If you avail the balance transfer option, any purchases done on the card will attract an interest component, @ 3% p.m, of the total retail purchase value - till the time the outstanding on the balance transfer is not cleared. In effect, it becomes suicidal to shop on you HSBC card if you have availed/plan to avail a Balance Transfer option.

~~~
SBI
~~~

Pros:
.1. Railway Ticket Booking - 2nd A/C upwards - entitles you to a discount of 10%
.2. Credit Limit is higher - Rs. 68,000/-

Cons:
.1. Very inefficient, rude, and defunt customer service.
.2. Doesn't give importance to customer experience.
.3. Drop Boxes are far and few in between.
.4. Can't drop credit card payment cheques at SBI ATM's.

~~~~~~~~~
HDFC Gold
~~~~~~~~~

Pros:
.1. Higher Credit Limit
.2. Membership to a variety of offers/discounts schemes with various vendors across cities.
.3. Online Banking available.

Cons:
.1. Billing Statements are not sent on time.

~~~~~
ICICI
~~~~~

Pros:
.1. Online Banking Available
.2. Very friendly customer service
.3. Option to link Savings-Banking-Demat-Credit Card-and-Loan Account.
.4. Mobile Banking possible.
.5. Online Bill Payment options available.

Cons:
.1. Credit Limit slightly lower than needed - Rs. 70,000/-

~~~~~~~~~
CITI Gold
~~~~~~~~~

Pros:
.1. 1% Cash Back on all purchases
.2. Very High Credit Limit - Rs. 1,20,000/-
.3. Options to increase credit limit over phone.

Cons:
.1. Repayment cheques have to be dropped only at CITI Bank ATM's - which are far and few in between.

Change Is The Only Thing Constant

2008-09-03T23:11:00.000+05:30

I've heard this a million times. Heck - I've even advocated this a lot. But ever since my move from Bangalore to Cochin (thanks to my moving companies - again!), I've been struggling to cope up with the changes!

I can no drink whenever I want. I can no longer eat whenever I want. I can no longer play music at blaringly-high volume - All this thanks to having moved back in with my parents!

I can no longer sleep till 10 o clock. I can no longer check Orkut as often as I want. I can no longer check my personal mails whenever I want. I no longer smile as much as I want - All this thanks to the situation at my new company/office!

I can no longer go babe watching. I can no longer kill time by going to a mall. I can no longer visit a Landmark or Odessey or Crossword store to spend a few hours picking up books. I can no longer hang out with friend and catch up on gossip (Yes - Men too gossip!). I can no longer smile at a total stranger and not get a shmuck look back. I can no longer shop and claim I had a wonderful experience. I can no longer work out a a health club as classy as Chisel - All this thanks to Cochin not being as hi-tech as Bangalore.

I've been trying really hard for the last 21 days. And I think I'm doing a good job of adjusting to most of the things. But, at times, I really begin to feel - I wish I should've just clung on whatever I had when I was in Bangalore and not have been greedy about things like career, money, ambitions, etc.

But, what the heck ... This is not the first time in my life things, or cities, or companies for that matter are changing. I bore the brunt of changes many times before. I don't see why this is going to be any different.

At the end of the day, I believe it's just a matter of time. Just Time ....

I guess I'm going to be fine. Really ... If not - You guys (and you lovely babes!) will be first ones to know ...

Muaaaah ... Love y'all!!!

Am I THAT OLD Already

2008-09-03T22:59:00.000+05:30

I'm freaked out. Seriously. I'm actually beginning to think that I'm OLD!

.1. I'm not as interested in women and sex as I used to be a month back.

.2. I'm beginning to prefer sitting at home watching TV or Sleeping, to going out to places where I can meet new people (people with tits i.e.!)

.3. I am no longer interested in creating a good impression (read as lying) to hook up. These days, I'm thinking more on the lines of "I'll portray my real self. If any girls like me for that - Good. Else - I'm not interested in her!" I have a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad feeling I'm not going to hook up anytime soon.

.4. My back (and body in general) hurts as if I were a 50 year old.

.5. I no longer care about hitting the gym and looking nice and presentable. Logic - "Looks only get you so far. It's what's 'Inside' that matters"

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawd ... What's bloody happening to me!!!

Movie Review - Bachna Ae Haseeno

2008-09-03T22:56:00.000+05:30

Today (23-Aug-2008), I went for the movie Bachna Ae Haseeno with my friend Rohit Pulickal.
The movie on the whole was a fun experience. The wonderful locale - which is characteristic of every Yash Raj movie. The wonderful music. The Bombs on screen - Bipasha Basu, Minisha Lamba, Deepika Padukone - we're simply awesome. (They were so hot - they caused precipitation inside the theatre!). The story was pretty well scripted. Ranbir Kapoor did some stunning acting. So did Bipasha and Minisha and Deepika. And I wouldn't want to forget Kunal Kapoor wondrous, albeit his smaller role, performance either.

But, the best part about the movie is indeed its story and screenplay. The youthful touch to movie is precisely what makes it a killer movie!

On a scale of 1 to 5 - I'd rate this movie 4!
(In other words - I definitely wouldn't mind going for it once again!)

Are Girls As Slutty As Guys

2008-08-23T18:37:00.002+05:30

I know that there has been a lot of debate on this matter. In the hopes of adding my two cents worth to the pile of arguments already in place, I shall proceed.

.1. Money Hai Toh Honey Hai

Till the start of the 21st century, Men have always dominated the Indian scene. Women were primarily confined to their homes. Their tasks were pretty mundane and day-to-day in nature. They also heavily depended on the man/men of the house to win the bread for the family. This led them to dependance on someone. But, with the advent of modernization, the 21st century changed all this. Women have entered the Parliment. Women have made it into the Bureaucracy. Women have also made it to the top most positions in Indian as well as Global Enterprises. Heck - Kalpana Chawla even made it to outer space!

The nett result - Liberalization of the Indian Woman . These days, women are no longer financially dependent on the men in their family. This gives them an edge they never had 20 years ago. It gives them the luxury of choice. To do or not to do stuff is, to a very large extent, no longer dictated by society or the men in and around them. This is the elixir of unparalled power.

Historically, men have always been regarded as womanizers, casanova's, or plain horny. How many woman have come into the spotlight with a similar reputation?
Except for a few famous personas like Margarete Gertrud Zelle (aka Mata Hari), Marilyn Monroe, Angelina Jolie, etc, ver few women have been accused of being sleazy and slutty.

But, all this is changing. In a city like Bangalore, a visit to any Night Club will prove evidence enough to show that women these days are not what they were earlier. These days - even woman deem Chastity as a joke. According to many - Virginity is just a big issue over a small tissue. Single women these days are a lot more daring and curious and explorative than their contemporaries from 20 years back.

Nett result - Having Pre-Marital Sex or being Horny or Slutty or both is no longer taboo. Yes, it is not something they would walk around advertising. But, when with the right circle of friends, they're open to discussing that mind-blowing blowjob got/gave last night!

.2. X X X - Triple X

It has been scientifically proven that women are capable of having 3 sort of orgasms:
(a) Clitoral Stimulated Orgasms (The Most Common Type)
(b) Vaginal Stimulated Orgasms (Tough for most ladies to achieve one as it takes a lot of time to cum [Pun Intended])
(c) Anal Stimulated Orgasms (Every guys wildest fantasy!)

This contrasts with the biological system in men who only have one type of orgasm - The one you get [or sometimes don't get :(] when you ejaculate.

This clearly means only one thing - Women have three times more reason to have sex than guys!!!

.3. The More The Merrier - The Multiple Orgasm Theory

If you ask me - God's done some serious partiality here. Just think about it - A woman can have one orgasm, and then another one, and then one more, climax once again - and still want more. Guys, sadly, on the other hand, squirts once - and his boner a goner. ETA for Round Two - atleast 1 hour!
(Unless he's got a bionic cock i.e.)

Yet again - this simply means one thing - Sex is more pleasurable to women than men!

.4. Guys Brag. Girls Shag!

Well ... I hate to admit it but - It's true. Guys do brag a lot. Especially when it comes to their sexual exploits.
To quote Saif Ali Khan from his movie Hum Tum:
"If she smiles at us, we say she gave me her number. If she gave me her number, we say I took her to dinner. If we went out for dinner, Isay ... well ... you know ... We ... ding-dong! (winking)"

Girls on the other, most often, don't kiss and tell. The exception is when they reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally trust the person they're spilling the beans to. In other words, since they don't advertise how good they are in bed, and how "lucky" they've been getting, most people assume they're not "getting any".
End result - They are a Marketing Masterpiece. And Men ... Well ... Let me just say "Boys Will Be Boys!"

.5. e Moti o(A)nal

Women are highly emotion creatures. They decisions are guided by their emotions and instincts (and hormones too!) more than anything else. Also, in my opinion, they are genetically coded to crave for security, and stability in everything they uptake. This leads most of them into wanting to "Make Love To" than "Have Sex With" someone.
The corollary of this point is - a woman would end up having sex with a guy who she is either in love with, or hopes he will reciprocate her love once she sleeps with in.

In my opinion and belief, women as as much - if not more - slutty and horny as the regular guy.
I say this not because I am an Male Chauvinist Pig (MCP), but I know and have a few friends (girls!) who would act as "Proof Of Concepts" for my theory.
(Don't bother dropping me comments asking for names of these friends. You'd be better of trying to milk an ox than get me to spill their names!)

Anyone got any points For/Against the notion - Do Drop Me A Comment!

My Blogs Are Getting A Tad Too Boring And Itchy Aren't They

2008-08-23T18:37:00.001+05:30

I took a moment to review (a.k.a. read) my last few blogs, and I'll be honest with you here. I see a gulf of difference in them v/s my blogs a few months back.

I also noticed one more thing - most of the blogs were filled with my bitching and whining about something or the other. Hmmmmmmmmmmmm ... Now why did I do that!!!

Maybe at a subconscious level, I'm not all that happy as I think I am ... I need to take a moment off here to talk to my inner self. Once I do that, I'll understand whats really going wrong in my life. And once I identify that - I'll take corrective steps to resolve the matter.

So, for all those lovely readers (if there are any i.e.) who've been bearing the brunt of my whining - thanks for your patronage and support and patience. I am completely indebted to you.
Like the System.gc() method in Java - I will expend maximum effort to get over this boorish phase of mine.
(I know that was a bad joke ... But, what else did you expect from a techie!)

And once I conquer and overcome my current plights, it'll be back to my glorious old days ... And I assure you, I'll write some really good stuff once again.

Till then - Please bear with me. Or if that's too much to ask - BUZZ OFF MATE!!!
:D

What Happens When You Want Too Many Things At The Same Time

2008-08-23T18:36:00.001+05:30

For example, what happens when:

You Want To Take A New Assignment At Work - Which Is Technologically Challenging And Will Get You Places, But Fear That It Means That You Will Leave You With Too Little Free Time For Other/Personal Pursuits +
You Want To Ask Your Current Project Lead To Release You From Your Current Project, Because You Don't See Yourself Going Places Here +
You Want To Chalk Out Loads Of Free Time For Yourself So That You Can Work With Full Energy And Zeal On That Dream Project Of Your, So That You Can Satisfy Your Dream Of Wanting To Be An Entrepreneur +
You Don't Want To Relocate Out Of Cochin, Because You Just Moved In Here 20 Days Back +
You Want To Go Back To Bangalore, Because The City Offered You A Lot Of Freedom And Options To Freak Out +
You Want To Quit Your Current Company, Because The Work Culture Here Sucks +
You Want To Go Back To Oracle, Because The Work Culture There Rocked +
You Want To Stay With Parents, So That They're Happy That Their Kid Is Nearby +
You Want To Move To A City Where All Your Friends Are, Because You Wanna Chill Out As Much As Possible

Simple ... You end up as confused as I am ... TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTALLY CONFUSED!!!

Hopefully, in due course of time, I'll be able to untangle all the cat strings doing the rounds in my mind.

HOPEFULLY!!!

My Friend KSP And His Blog

2008-08-23T18:33:00.004+05:30

I have this friend called Kiran. More popularly known as KSP. He dropped a career at L&T for an opening at a small start up organization called Web Chutney. From what I understood, they were a firm that worked in the Marketing and Advertising domains.

I've been tracking KSP's blog for some time now. It makes for a fun read. Correction - It used to make up for a really fun read. Till a couple of months back i.e.. He used to write, ekdum dil koll ke, about the most weirdo topics under the sun.

But, these days - It's filled with stuff that I don't understand. And by this, I don't mean I don't understand the stuff he writes about. I mean - I don't get why he writes it?

I mean - how is a guy who is into Marketing and Advertising domains bothered about RSS Feeds and Technology and Web 2.0 trends? My understanding of Marketing and Advertising is that it's a very glamorous thing where the only thing you do is come up with ideas of how you can differentiate your product. And whenever I think Marketing - a one-track-formula comes into my mind - Strip Mallika Sherawat to the bare minimum of clothes and then ask her to talk about your product. It doesn't exactly matter your product is - IT WILL SELL!!!

Oh God ... Now this is what I call a Tangent. Silly Me!!!
Anyways ... Getting back to KSP and his blog.

So ... My dear buddy KSP ... Wassup with you writing these techie sortta blogs? I'm confused ... Are these integral to the world of Advertising and Marketing? Or are you following these techie thingies based out of pure interest per se?

Thanks in advance bro !!!

N.B: I still like your blogs ... Keep those creative juices flowing!!!

Need an Internet Connection

2008-08-23T18:33:00.003+05:30

I desperately need to take an internet connection at home. I've listed out a few reasons why:

Firstly - I get home around 3.30 PM these days (courtesy of working in a shift system at work), and I have nothing better to do than either play "Counter Strike", or watch some movie/soap, or watch TV. And honestly, it's getting reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally boring out here.

Secondly - I need to start networking and make some new friends here in Cochin. Reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally - At the very least I have to find myself a few activity partners. None of my friends are here.
What was that saying again - "What's life without friends?"

Thirdly - I have a project in mind that I have to step up my efforts on. As it is, it was behind schedule. Today, I realized that I might have some competition as well. So, before the competition heightens and I loose any further ground to them, I better tidy up my act and work towards rolling out my project ASAP!

Fourthly - I wanna download some movies (YES - Porno is also included in my wish list!), mp3, e-books, music videos, etc. My current collection is kindda obsolete.

Fifthly - I need to teach/educate mom and dad on how to use a computer to access their mails and introduce them to the virtual world and limitless power of the internet (am I being a little too melodramatic here!)

Sixthly - Internet surfing, chatting, twitter, Orkut, etc help in killing time.

Seventhly - From the way things are going, I think I might have to pay a visit to www.naukri.com and www.monsterjobs.com very soon.

Eighthly - Browsing at Reliance Web World (I have an account there. I prefer the place as it's very secure. Absolutely no Malware/Spyware/Viruses) is proving to be a very very expensive affair. In the last 20 odd days I have already used up Rs. 650/- worth of internet time. To give me some credit - at their tariff rate of 40 bucks an hour - it's hardly 17 hours usage. In other words, I've spent only 1 hour a day (on an average) online.

Ninthly - Google Talk's PC-PC calls are a great way to save up on ISD charges as also to keep in touch with your old friends.

Tenthly - I actually don't have a tenth reason. I just wanted to make ten bullet points.

With any luck, by the end of this/next week, I'll have a net connection at home.

Till then - Ya'll Be Good Aite!

Project Idea Stolen

2008-08-23T18:33:00.001+05:30

I've been working in recluse on this dream project of mine. And today, while googling for something else, I stumbled upon a site which is similar to my idea. Ofcourse, their product is in no way close to the product I have envisaged. But, still, they have first movers advantage now. And this means - I can no longer afford to be lazy. I need to step up my efforts at developing the application and delivering it to the market. I am also going to have to double my efforts in finding someone who can market the product for me.

DEAR GOD ... I have a lot of work ahead of me ... Please give me the courage and strength to finish it!!!

WWW.TWITTER.COM

2008-08-23T18:32:00.006+05:30

Today (19-Aug-2008), I started tweeting on www.twitter.com. I don't know whether I'll like it as much as Orkut or Blogging, but, I thought I'd give it a try. Who knows what it'll develop into?

So, for anyone who wants to know what I'm doing right now - add me as a friend on www.twitter.com
(Ping me if you want my twitter e-mail details... The last thing I want is some stupid bot spamming me on my E-Mail Id!)

Projectless - AGAIN!!!

2008-08-23T18:32:00.005+05:30

Today I was informed that my client was about to cut project budgets by approx 50% for this coming quarter. And since mine is an R&D project, sure as hell - it'll be the first one to undergo the scalpel. Unfortunately (Or is it fortunately?) for me, I just joined the project and the account a week back. So, I will be the first one to be kicked out.

I've read (and laughed) a lot of Dilbert scrips about departments being downsized, etc. But, somehow, I never figured it would happen to me!

And to be very honest (maybe it's my bruised ego doing the talking here!) - It feel very angry right now!!!

Awesome Cost Cutting Measures

2008-08-23T18:32:00.003+05:30

Working with my new employer (Don't want to risk naming them here!) is serving to be a rich learning experience. As a matter of fact, I am learning a lot of stuff that I can use whenever I start my own Consulting Firm. To be a bit more honest - I'm learning a lot-of-stuff-that-one-should-never-do-in-an-organization.

One of the Key things is "Cost Cutting". Ofcourse, I understand cutting costs means increased profits and happier investors and thereby greater stock appreciation and all this finally leads to a richer you! But, cost cutting too has its limits.

Let me take a moment here to list out the 10 most absurd cost cutting measures that I have seen here:

(1) Coffee Vending machines on most floors don't work - Mega Electricity Savings!

(2) On the floors that the coffee machines work, they don't provide mugs - Mega Pantry Expenses Savings!

(3) Toilets are seldom cleaned. This makes employees abstain from using them - Water Bill Savings!

(4) 1 Refill pack of Liquid Soap can be used to fill up 11 liquid soap dispensers - provided you use water to compensate for the remaining 11 parts. If you're lucky - the colloidal solution that forms therewith will still smell of + have the same color of the original Liquid soap. Justification => "After all - You're hands won't smell all that bad after taking a potty/leak... Ergo, you don't need concentrated Liquid Soap extract!" Mega Toiletries Savings!

(5) Computers left on for more than 6 hours at a stretch will OVERHEAT and will switch off (read as THE COMPUTER DIES IN FRONT OF YOU!). Electricity Bill Savings!

(6) Printers, Photocopiers and Fax Machine never have paper in them. In the rarest of scenarios that there is paper inside them - they'll be out of Ink! Stationery and Electricity Bill Savings!

(7) Working in the morning shift (6 AM - 3 PM) entails you to a free breakfast. To get this free breakfast - you need to walk 1.5 kms to the nearest building, because, that is the ONLY place where the Free-Breakfast-Serving-Canteen is served. Most sensible employees would rather starve than walk 3 kms at 7 AM, and that too - on an empty stomach. Mega Savings in Catering Expenses!

(8) Toilets don't have toilet papers. Nor tissues for that matter. Mega Toiletries Savings!

(9) Company doesn't pay for car parking facilities inside the building premises. Logic - "If you have a car, you pay for the car parking. Why should we pay for you to park your car safely?" Mega Operational Expenses Savings!

(10) (This one takes the cake!) Note Pads/Scribble Pads are issued, but, Pencils/Pens are not issued. Ergo, the Scribble pads are left untouched. Yet another Stationery Related Savings!

And to think that when Oracle cut down on supplies of biscuits and soft drinks (free for employees) - I made a hue and cry about the whole issue, even to the extent of complaining to our HR representatives as well as Senior Managers that it was the "CHEAPEST" thing a company of Oracle's stature could ever do!
My Dearest Oracle .... I beg thy forgiveness!!!

Moving Homes

2008-08-23T18:32:00.001+05:30

After 5 long years of staying in the same house, today, we moved again. Yes ... Again!

Fortunately or Unfortunately, I'm from a middle class family. And thanks to that - so far - we've been able to live in rented houses/apartments only. But, I would be lying if I say that we never owned any house.

When I was in my Xth std, we bought our first house. It was a wonderful property. Back water facing ... Second Floor ... Terrace all to ourselves ... 1800 sq ft ... Big halls (me and my bro used to play cricket there ... I swear!) ... Big rooms ... Plenty of land around the house ... Garden ... etc ... etc ...
(In short - it had the works!)

Unfortunately, bad times befell upon us, and we had to sell of the house. It seems, the stars pertaining to the house had everything to do with (That was the mambo-jambo that some renowned astrologer dad goes to told him!).

I had just completed my 12th, and I had secured an admission into the NIT, Calicut (It was called the Regional Engineering College, Calicut back then). And by the time we had to move out of that house - I was well into my 3rd semester of college.

Frankly speaking, I loved that house. I have a lot of fond memories of that place. The view of the backwaters during thunderstorms ... aaaaaaaaaah ... Nostalgic!

Also, I also remember that it was when I was staying in that house that I had my first majooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooor crush - Dhanya.
I say crush and not love - as today, I don't even remember her face. If it had indeed been love - it wouldn't be so would it?
Anyways ... More on that in later blogs!

So ... The way I see it - That house bought me a lot of good luck! But, since the astrologer said the house was a bad asset, and since dad worshipped that astrologer jerko like god - We sold of the house!

For a very long while after that, we were staying in one rented house after the other. And mind you, all those stays were pretty short-term by nature. 6 months ... 1 year max. Till - we came to this house (the one I just moved!)

5 long years we spent at this place. And to be very honest - It wasn't my most favorite of houses - for a plethora of reasons ofcourse. For instance, the house was pretty old w.r.t construction. It had a very morose feel to it. The toilets were absolutely disgusting. The were low ... Dirty ... Yucky ... Grossssssssssssssss ... I don't even wanna talk about it. It is after a lot of hue and cry that we finally changed the sanitary ware (at our own expense mind you!), and it is only after that going to the toilet at this home became a "not-so-very-unpleasant" an affair. Also, our neighbours (the family who stayed upstairs i.e.) weren't exactly very friendly. And to add to that - they were nosy as hell! And how can I forget - there was this church right next doors. And come Sundays - we had listen to them shouting and singing and praying at the top of their voices! I don't mean to sound discriminative here, but, whatever the religion you practise, practise it in such a manner that you don't disturb others around you! How difficult can that be!!!

Anyways ... Even with all these negatives, this house too had a lot of fond memories. Without "revealing" (pun intended!) too many details - let me just say - It was ... ummm ... the house where I "experienced" a lot of "firsts"!
(Keep guessing what they were!)
;)

And finally, we bought a new house, again (Touch Virtual Wood!!!) ...
And this time, the house's astrology has also been checked
(I know it sounds weird ... I think so too ... Blame it all on mom and dad!!!)

Unfortunately though, we won't be able to move into it for the next couple of months.
(There seems to be a delay in getting the Water and Power Supply)

So ... For the next 3 - 4 months, we've taken up another house. This one is a lot more prettier than any of the previous houses we've lived in. Plus, since it's on the 6th floor, the view is mind blowing. Mom is completely in love with it!
:)

So ... Till my next move (Hopefully, that'll be our last house shifting ever!) - Adieus Amigo!